day trip to the moon

Lprivate multi muse blog

[drownedinmoon-light]

the amaranth - safiye birkan

about (tba) / pinterest / wanted connections (tba) / playlist (tba)

character inspo: Jade West (victorious), Kayla Powell (tell me a story), Alina Starkov (Grisha series), Fallon Carrington (Dynasty), Princess Cirila (The Witcher) Tinker Bell (Peter Pan)

TW: depression, death, violence, bad parenting, narcisstic parent

( AYCA AYSIN TURAN, 30, FEMALE ) I just bumped into SAFIYE BIRKAN the other day! I hear SHE/HER is a  DANCER living in NORTHSIDE Chicago. I also happen to know that she can be CAPTIVATING and RESENTFUL, but when I think of her, I start to hear YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL by LANA DEL REY playing in my head. 

Full name: Safiye Aysel Birkan

Nicknames: Saf, Safi, S

Age: 30

Birthdate: November 6th, 1990 @ 8am

Zodiac: Scorpio Sun, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Rising

Hometown: Versailles, France. Trans conteinental and spent half her time in San Francisco and some time in Istanbul as well.

Current residence: North Side, Chicago

Occupation: Ballerina (works in her own studio)

MBTI: ISFP-T

MBTI: 8w7 the non-conformist 

Temperment: Sanguine

Hogwarts house: Slytherin

Alignment: neutral good

Sexuality: Pansexual/Panromantic

+ passionate, driven, captivating, insightful, determined, forceful, intuitve, exciting, imaginative, creative

- quick changing emotions, secretive/seemingly apathetic, perfectionist, jealous, resentful, obstinate, secretive, compulsive

She was born and raised in Versailles.

She and her father were very close while he was alive. He was a driven and passionate man who made his own fortune outside the family name in music producing. 

He was who taught her to enjoy the arts, especially dance.

Her mother was an artist who had been born and raised in San Franisco and moved to France when she married her husband.

Safiye and her sister were very close growing up. However, Saf had a far more co-dependent and, at times, toxic relationship with their mother, who seemed to gain her self-worth from the achievements of her daughters from an early age. Especially Safiye.

At nine, their father died in an accident Safiye has spent the rest of her life blaming herself for.

His death shined a light on the toxic and narcissistic relationship between Saf and their mother. Slowly as her attentions shifted into molding Saf into the perfect machine, the sisters grew a part bit by bit.

Safiye played oblivious to the inattention between herself and her sister. She enjoyed the praise and attention far too much to question it when given a crumb of approval.

A formidable force to be reckoned with, Safiye was a classically trained ballerina who was accepted into the Paris School of Ballet at eleven years old.

The Birkan family spent their time split between California and the majority of the year in Paris. However, when her sister began high school, she chose to stay in California with their aunt.

Saf and her mother stayed in Paris to cultivate her dance career, which rose when she was accepted into the Paris Opera Ballet at eighteen years old.

The five ranks of dancers in the Paris Opera Ballet, from highest to lowest they are Dstrainedanseur Étoile, premier danseur, Sujet, coryphée, and quadrille.

By nineteen, she was a coryphée dancer, and by 23, she was well on her way to the Danseur Étoile or prima ballerina.

26 years and her entire life had been spent dancing. Safiye was ready to take her place as the prima ballerina at the Paris opera ballet when rehearsal for Swan Lake fell into chaos, and she was violently attacked in the shadows by a dancer who she had rejected.

Her injuries took her out of the company, and suddenly everything she’d ever known was crumbling.

Safiye spent the year after her injury in a state of never coming down.

Constant partying and fighting with her mom Safiye felt like he had lost herself to meaningless sex and partying.

At 28, she was on vacation in Vegas when she met her would-be husband. What was supposed to be one night turned into a Vegas shotgun wedding.

When she woke up hungover and with a ring on her finger, Safiye knew it would be easy to move on as if it had never happened. However, the alternative of returning home, of her life’s failures glaring her in the face, allowed her to consider the marriage for more than a moment, and before she knew it she was moving in with the man she didn’t genuinely love. Safiye knew he had his reasons just as she had hers.

Over the last two years the pair moved to Chicago where they bought their home and where Safiye has begun dancing again. Her dreams of becoming a prima ballerina seem too far gone but she’s not yet given up and has even rented a studio space where she offers classes to adult ballerinas. 

[drownedinmoon-light]

GRAYSON & ROWAN.

Her first mistake had been believing that going out with her friends was going to fix any of her marital problems. Her second mistake had been accepting drinks from the charming man that the rest of her friends had practically drooled over. The final mistake had been lying to said friends about leaving early when she was in fact leaving with him. Somehow, lying to her husband about where she’d stayed the night hadn’t even made the list of things she wanted to regret. “Is that what you think this is? Charming?” Looking back at her desk, she tried to ignore the stack of files that sat for her approval. Seeing clients was only half of her job, but she wasn’t about to explain every duty of being a big partner in the firm put on her. At this point, stress was just a part of her personality.

A cold laugh slipped past her lips as she gave him a pointed look. “You do remember the fact that I’m married, right? I know I may have forgotten to mention that before, but I’m not some twenty-something year old that’s fun to chase.” Her glory days were over and while she appreciated the attention, it wasn’t something she could easily accept. Despite knowing better than to cave to his request, she paused, her voice dropping low as she focused on his dark hazel hues. “Non puoi permetterti di me,” she hummed, her raspy tone falling quiet between them. 

“That’s quite the selling point. They have wine too, right? I think I’d need a few glasses in order to forgive myself.” Another joke, one that she let roll off her tongue much easier this time around. Her mother was as Italian as an American-Italian could possibly get, but her father? He was the Olive Garden type through and through. A breath hitched in her throat the moment she realized how close they were. The small of his cologne was too familiar for her liking, mixed with memories of their intertwined bodies doing things that her husband could never dream of. One night was enough, she’d tried to convince herself of that. Yet, having him close? One night seemed like nothing at all.

With a tight grip on the strap of her purse, she tried not to overthink what was happening. If anyone asked, Grayson was an old friend of a friend and they were merely catching up over lunch. Nothing more, nothing less. “Macaroni Grill is a definite no. Tried that once. Well, they catered to our firm. Let’s just say I wasn’t impressed,” she grinned, a brow raised as she looked up at him towering over her. “I guess I’ll take a ride since I’m on the top floor of the garage. You have to bring me back after. I’m serious, Grayson, it’s just lunch.” With that, she gave a nod towards the keys in his hand and smiled. “I’ll tell you where to go once we’re in. So, let’s get going before I change my mind.”

.

"Don't you?" He asked subtly, following her gaze to her desk, "it'll be there when you get back." He nodded towards the door, "You'll work better with a full stomach." Gray was using straightforward logic to entice her out the door, knowing he'd be disappointed if she, for whatever reason, decided to kick him out. Hell, he expected her too. She was married. A thought that never once left his mind. He knew better. He could easily find another girl to spend his time with. There were a few he was avoiding at the moment who were single and came with less risk than Rowan. He didn't have an answer for the self-destruction, only the excuses he'd keep telling himself as long as he was given time with her. He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, "If I forgot, I have a feeling you'd remind me." He explained, his tongue pressing against his cheek as his eyes raked over her, "I'm not suggesting anything salacious here, darling." He grinned, listening to her make her case. He would lie and say he was almost convinced to walk out the door, but Gray just rocked on his heels. "Who said I was chasing?" He tutted, the grin not leaving his face as he teased her, the playful tone not once leaving his voice. "You're not playing fair." He commented on her slip into Italian with a step in her direction. "It's just lunch, Rowan." He said her name, "a friendly lunch." Then, tucking his hands into his pockets, he shrugged. "You're shooting down all my ideas. Let me guess, Carrabas is a no go too?" He teased her, a relief unwinding from his stomach when he realized she wasn't turning him down before he even got her out the door. Grayson made an x over his chest, Rolling hazel hues, "Cross my heart, no funny business." He leaned in a little closer and, under his breath, added, "not even if you ask real nice." He gave her a pointed look and stood at attention, "Absolutely." With that, he led the way out to his truck pulling the door open for her. He leaned against it, waiting for her to get in before shutting the door behind her. Getting in, Gray turned the ignition over, put a hand around her head, rest his eyes lingering on her a moment longer before directing his attention to back out of his parking space and make it to the road. "Since you've made your demands I have one of my own," He looked over her way, a coy smirk on his lips, "This lunch comes with dessert. It's a requirment to have a mid day sugar boost."

[drownedinmoon-light]

NESRIN & KNOX.

Shit was hitting the fan and he was doing all that he could to keep up. If finding out that he was potentially a father to his mistress’ child wasn’t enough to throw him off balance, then Nesrin showing up most certainly was. He’d left five years ago in an attempt at sparing her of his bullshit and yet, leaving had done nothing in the long run. When it came to their plans to meet up for food, he’d considered cancelling. Not because he didn’t want to see her, but because he didn’t know how to break the news to a woman he wasn’t even sure would care. Were they still friends? Had she resented him for leaving? Better yet, was she there to stay, or was she merely visiting until her husband managed to rope her back to Chicago to finish the lifetime commitment they’d started to together.

“It’s okay,” he assured as he fumbled with his hands in his napkin covered lap. Since moving away from his childhood home, he’d learned some manners. He knew that a napkin went in one’s lap and that he didn’t have to use the same fork for a salad and the entree. Apparently, it was all shit that he should have learned growing up. Fortunately, the new town had taken it easy on him and after five years, he was finally fitting in. “Come on, Nes. Don’t make me feel like a complete stranger,” he teased, though the joke fell dry on his mouth. After five years, he basically was a complete stranger. “I’ve been… good, I guess. Good job, work in progress place. I can’t complain too much. What about you? Seems like I’ve missed a lot,” he hummed as dark hazel hues fell to the ring on her hand.

.

His following statement made waves of her stomach, the color temporarily staining her cheeks, and Nesrin suddenly found it hard to look at him, "I didn't make you a stranger." She found herself saying, pressing her tongue against the side of her cheek, she smiled weakly, "I just mean you're not a stranger." A lie. He was the one who left. He was the one who didn't care that she had wanted him to say, nearly begged him to, and even now, she felt foolish for having almost confessed to feelings she was sure he never shared. Feelings that had once felt so rosy and heart thundering good- even now, her heart hummed to a beat that she swore was specific to him. She wanted to drown it out and force herself to let go of old feelings that time and marriage had done little to dull. But it seemed to be her curse, to always want something she couldn't have, someone who was never all in to be in a one-sided emotional affair from the past and miles away. Watching his eyes drop to her ring Nesrin's throat constricted, and she instantly covered her hand with the right. "You were invited to the wedding." She said while turning the ring around on her finger. Her mother had said she sent the invite, but Nes wouldn't be surprised if it had gotten lost. "We're getting a divorce." She added after her wine arrived and took a long drink that she knew wouldn't be considered polite. Polite like Knox putting his napkin in his lap as if being away had polished the edges she'd loved so much. She idly wondered if a woman was responsible for that but quickly pushed the thought out of her head. "At most, you missed a fun party. I uh paused my residency." She admitted, still unsure if she was going back. "I work at this nice bar for now. I like it." She admitted almost defensively. Looking over her glass at him, "My parents hate it." She sipped and found herself covering her ring now that she was aware he noticed it, and slipping it off seemed brazen, so she kept it coverer or under the table. No more brazen than showing up to his apartment, she thought with a scoff she covered with another sip from her glass. "Do you have anyone you're seeing?" She asked the preemptive lurch of her chest, tying knots in her stomach while she waited, presenting herself as serene and unbothered.

[drownedinmoon-light]

EVERLY & THEO

There would be a lingering doubt for awhile on why he was so keen on spending time with a woman who looked identical to the one he’d lost. It was pathetic, but Theo had sworn to himself that he knew the difference between Everly and Eden. For starters, the latter felt more like a thorny rose and no matter how hard he tried to find a space on her stem that wouldn’t hurt him, he failed. Everly, on the other hand, wasn’t the same. She hadn’t dangled herself in front of him only to disappear days later, but in the end, the comparison of the two didn’t matter because he wasn’t keeping Everly around in an attempt at filling a void. No, he was doing quite the opposite, actually.

When the front door bell chimed at someone’s arrival, he popped out from his corner office and offered a smile in her direction. Like most nights that he didn’t have plans, he’d promised the guys he’d close up after he finished working on a piece for a new client. It was far more detailed than anything he’d done in a while and if he’d calculated correctly, it would be big money by the end of it.  The male returned to his work chair, watching as she made herself comfortable. “First off, I’ve never tattooed someone’s junk and secondly, yeah, it’d probably hurt.” Tongue clicked against his bottom lip as he reached for the fine point pen he’d been using to sketch. “Can you look at something for me? I’m stuck. Creative block is a real bitch tonight.” 

.

Everly sometimes worried he was a distraction keeping her from her purpose for being here in the first place. Find out what happened to Eden, Eden, her twin sister, and Eden, his former lover? She didn't know what to call Theo and her late sister. She often liked to put it out of her mind; otherwise, she'd fall down a nightly rabbit hole of what if, maybe, and contemplation that was a deadly place to be. She was here. She'd left her entire life, Broadway, friends, a fiance, the whole world for her sister. Maybe it was partly an excuse, like an excuse she was working up on the tip of her tongue to explain her presence should he ask. She was drawn to him like a flame- unable to let her dangerous wondering keep her away. " I wouldn't flinch." Everly commented, "my pain tolerance is astronomical." She added while unfolding her legs to amble over to peer over his shoulder. Her hair fell, creating a curtain between them. She moved it to the opposite side, "You're supposed to be the one with an artistic touch. I play pretend." Everly quipped, turning her head towards him, their faces inches apart. Everly turned away, "I see what you mean. This is awful." Her dry humor left her tongue sardonic and soft, "You should quit." She pointed to a space that felt empty, "what are you going for with the piece- because here feels empty." She turned back to him, "You're the professional." Her lips curved into a coy smile, "Can I?" She asked, nodding towards his pen without looking away.

[melpomcne]

starter for safiye birkan.

New York City was everything that Rhett could have imagined it to be. It was large, busy, and felt a lot like the fresh start they both wanted. After a busy day filled of exploring, his big interview, and trying out plenty of food around the city, they’d agreed to settle into their room for the night, but not before he pulled one final string. With the help of his new job potential, he’d secured the rooftop of the hotel they were being housed in for the week. It was historic, yet held all the modern touches someone would want for a place. That, and it gave them the perfect view of Central Park.

After convincing his wife to trust him, they were escorted to the rooftop where a bottle of champagne, a small dinner, and blankets were laid out for them. Enjoy your evening, they were told and with a quiet thank you, they were left to their own devices.

“Surprise,” he hummed quietly, cheeks flushing red as he looked back at her. “Turns out, the job I interviewed for has some good connections around the city, one of them being to the owner of this place. I managed to sweet talk them into helping me out. We’ve got the rooftop for the night. I thought we could both use some time to ourselves and,” he paused as he reached out, fingers intertwining between hers as he tugged her towards the edge. “I was told the view of Central Park is pretty damn amazing. What do you think?” Granted, it was a bunch of tries and city skylines on either side of them, but it seemed beautiful all the same. “Guess when you’re so high up, you can’t hear all the… chaos.”

[drownedinmoon-light]

.

There was something alive about New York City that left Safiye feeling more invigorated than she had expected. It was all she could have hoped for after watching how Rhett seemed to come alive with all there was to offer in New York. There was a job opportunity, the chance to start over in a place where there were no mismanaged lovers or jealous friends who could attempt to derail this new chapter of their lives. There was plenty for Safiye to do here as well. Even if she wasn't by some chance accepted into the NYC ballet, she could fund a studio. She could independently dance. She could retire. The thought crossed her mind and departed faster than the street cart hotdog she had earlier in the afternoon. After some convincing, she made Rhett promise not to tell her how they're made so she could remain blissfully unaware. After the day they had, Safiye was more confident than ever about the move and excited to spend the evening tucked in with the man who inspired it all when he promised just one more thing. She'd furrowed her brows and argued for the plush comfy bed and a hot shower, but in the end, he won out, but only after Safiye got the promise sealed with a kiss, and on their way, they went. The whole way, Saf followed quietly, wondering where he planned to take her and how he managed roof access. Stunned silent before she could ask how he managed it, Safiye took in every detail with awe. The gesture so moved Safiye took his hand as he reached for her. She gave his fingers three squeezes in a row- I love you, a silent meaningful gesture as she let him continue to lead her. Stopping at the edge, Safiye tilted enough to look down, then up to her preferred view. "Rhett-" Safiye sighed, his name standing as close to him as she could, and pressing on her tiptoes, she kissed his lips once. Then Safiye kissed the planes of his face, faint glimmers of pink lipstick staining her pathway over his jaw and cheekbones. "This is so thoughtful, so beautiful." She claimed while looking soley at him, "I love it." Settling on her feet Safiye admired the view for a contemplative moment. "I think we should move as soon as possible." She said while admiring the view then pointing into some apartments in the far distance, "and we should live there so this can be our view all the time. Yea?"

[drownedinmoon-light]

THEO & EVERLY 

@misguidedtrouble​

She and Theo had fallen into a routine of sorts one that Everly hadn't expected but enjoyed regardless of the complications that followed it- she just made a point not to talk about it, to just enjoy the time they had. She hadn't brought up Eden again since the last time, nor had she told him about the key she'd found. Tomorrow she was going to the safety deposit box it belonged to and she was going to find answers one way or another. However, for tonight she could pretend she was in some way his. Neon lights lit up the sidewalk as she made her way to the tattoo parlor. The little bell over the door chimed as she made her way into the empty shop. Empty save for the one man she was looking for, leaning against the counter, Everly tipped her head into her palm, "Have you tattooed anything salacious lately?" She asked before flopping in a chair she had countless times before and pulled a snack from her bag, a sad excuse for dinner. Stretching her legs across the arm she cast a side long glance his way, "Like ya know some guy comes in trying to impress his new goth girl friend and asks you to tattoo a snake on his-" She glanced downward a playful smile dimpling her cheeks, "think it would hurt?"

[drownedinmoon-light]

KNOX & NESRIN

@misguidedtrouble​

She had no expectations where Knox was concerned, just the string of hope she'd held onto for all the years between them. Nesrin had the naive hope that they were still connected, that he still considered her a friend- even now. She'd always imagined they were more than the simple constraints of friends; he was her person, and whether he was aware of it or not, she had been unapologetically his. At least until the night, everything went to hell. Nes squeezed her eyes shut against the memories of one of the last times she'd seen him before he pulled his little disappearing act. She compartmentalized her feelings and the things unsaid that spanned several years, fixed her hair in her mirror, smoothed gloss over her lips, and walked into the restaurant where she found him at a booth near a back window. "Hey-" She greeted him a small twitch as if she wanted to wrap her arms around him, she thought better of it and swallowed down her feelings and sat across from him. Their reunion was a few nights past and had gone practically nowhere as Nes made the bold choice to show up in the late evening hours, to confront him, to confess her life changes? She wasn't sure, none of it had happened, and now here she was in the pretenses of lunch as if they were just two old friends catching up her brows furrowed looking over the menu, "Sorry I'm late I worked a late shift last night and got a ride home so I had to swing by to grab my keys." She over-explained thankful for the brief break when the waitress came for her drink order; white wine, she'd need the liquid courage. Finally she lifted her eyes to his face, a million things she could say but Nes wasn't sure how any of it would be recieved so she smiled brightly, "How have you been, you know over the uh years?"

[drownedinmoon-light]

the quixotic - grayson bettencourt

pinterest /playlist(tbd)/musings

character inspos - Peter Pan (peter pan.), Jackson (A star is born.), Finn ( Gilmore Girls.), Sirius Black (HPfanon.), Cassian  (ACOTAR.)

ABOUT

age - 34

DOB - 04.25.1987 @ 6pm

zodiac- sun. Taurus moon. Aries sun. Libra rising

place of birth - Los Angeles

current residence - NYC, Hells Kitchen

career - Owner of Bar name TBD

pets - Angel, The greatdane

MBTI - ENFP - A

ennegram - 7w8 the oppurtunist

Grayson was born somewhere in the middle of the large Bettencourt family. Growing up, his family was everything to him. 

However, for every close relationship he held with his mother and siblings, his father was always there to be a blight on an otherwise bright moment. 

As a child, Gray admired his dad- he was a grifter, in and out, but when he was in Gray's life, he hung on every word his father had to say and imitated all of his behaviors. 

These behaviors were less than ideal and affected Grayson in all aspects of his life. He was somewhat of a troublemaker. Usually for the sake of helping his family out with whatever hustle he was involved with at the time. 

By fifteen years old, Gray was kicked out of school and working full time, helping support his family and blowing the rest of his money. Things took a massive change for Grayson when he was seventeen, and some judge threw the book at him for some dumb idiot mistakes he and his friends made. 

The entire ordeal nearly killed his mother; if he didn't do it for himself, he would do it for her. Grayson got his shit together and began working on his GED while taking his work more seriously and saving every extra dime he could. By the time he was 19, he had quite the nest egg put to the side to buy his mom and siblings a place in a better area of town. 

However, his father stole the money, and he was left without, and he and his father got into a pretty messy fight. The relationship remained tense even after his father repayed the money. With his family moving someplace safer, Grayson used the repaid money to buy the bar he had been working at since he was twenty-two. He's owned the bar since he was twenty-eight years old. 

+perceptive, enthusiastic, creative, patient, confident, romantic

- unfocused, restless, people-pleaser, self-indulgent, daredevil, greedy

[drownedinmoon-light]

the coquette - nesrin demir

pinterest /playlist(tbd)/musings

character inspo: Mia (The Princess Diaries.), Eve (Lucifer.), Brooke Maddox (Scream.) Persephone (Lore Olympus.) Claire (The Breakfast club.) Tiffany Maxwell (The Silverlinings playbook.)

Full name: Nesrin Demir

Nicknames: Nes, Nessie

Age: 33

Birthdate: TBD

Zodiac: Cancer sun, Leo moon, Libra rising

Hometown: Chicago, IL

Current residence: TBD

Occupation: Bartender

MBTI: ENFP-T - tho it’s a close tie between I and E

Enneagram - Type 2w3 the Host

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff with Gryffindor as a close second

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Temperment: Sanguine

ABOUT

Born to a upper class hard working family in Chicago. Her mom was a pediatrict surgeon and her dad owned his own construction company where he worked as a foreman and architect. 

Growing up her parents doted on her and wanted Nesrin to have the best life had to offer. As a result all her whims were indulged including her desire to figure skate. 

Growing up she was quite popular and beloved some what of a girl who liked to indulge in all the best things life had to offer her. She loved a good time, a fun party any sort of adventure Nesrin was always down. 

Her family tried to shelter her but she the older she got the more rebellious she became. It was a quiet sort of rebellion where she either wasn’t caught or got away with the most of it. 

Always a romantic Nes never lacked for company but her closest companion was her child hood best friend, Knox Gallagher. Knox lived a few blocks over in what was considered the “less desirable” part of town. The two were always together. Always up to trouble of some sort. He was her person.

Her parents, mom specifically constantly pushed Nes towards a medical career, but not one to let others down Nes did what was expected and worked hard and got into medical school. 

However, she never outgrew her desire to get involved with Knox and while early in her residency the pair got into some trouble that resulted with the pair of them being arrested. 

Her parents were able to solve the issue for Nesrin but after it was all said and done Knox disappeared and left Nes rather heart broken. 

She never knew what they were if they were anything other than friends who got too close but with his departure Nesrin was forced to move on and in the best way she could let him go. 

She ended up in a rebound relationship, the first serious relationship she’d allowed as she had always been some what holding out for Knox. 

The relationship was stable and happy but lacked passion, desire. It was missing something. Yet Nesrin kept it up convinced it was the right thing to do. 

It wasn’t long until she realized she was on the fast track towards a life that had been planned for her- ending her marriage was the hardest choice in the undoing of the life she’d been pushed into but it was the first step needed to getting back to finding herself. 

Nesrin left her residency with the option to start a new one in (TBD CITY) where Knox had been. She got a job bartending finding she was rather good at it. A few months into her move Nesrin looked up Knox wondering if he feels the unfinished business between them with the same intensity as she does.

MISC HEADCANONS

Nesrin can often be found using free skate time at the local ice rink. She always brings her own ice skates and has special socks decorated with snow flakes she wears when skating.

She likes the social aspect of her job and has always considered herself a night owl.

When she was younger she wanted to be a painter, a princess, and a concert pianist. She can only paint by numbers, is only a princess on her birthday when she wears a tiara and the only songs she can play on piano are pop songs.

Every weekend come hell or high water Nesrin is at the local farmers market.

Her kitchen is always stocked with the best foods, tea and honey always on deck. Her cup collection is made up of glasses she’s “borrowed” over the years from bars, diners, and other places.

Nesrin enjoys a good smutty romance novel and tends to always have a copy of something in her bag.

She carries a Birkin bag (a gift from a woman she used to baby sit for as a child.) She uses it as it should be and it’s constantly over stuffed and threatening to bust.

Nesrin likes to spend long days at the movies and if the mood strikes she’ll spend the whole day watching movie after movie.

Nesrin lives in the historic area in an affordable victorian converted into apartments (think Coraline) Her apartment is spacious and she got a good deal as it’s being sublet from the original tenant who was grandfathered into a rent controlled price.

She has a nice terrace off her bedroom that lets the best afternoon sun in.

Most of her furniture is thrifted and her style is vintage and romantic. An example can be found HERE (tbd)

Nesrin volunteers her time with the local animal shelter and dreams of the day she can have a few pets of her own.

Nesrin always has her hair down, but when she is irritated or deep in thought/busy she’ll pull it up away from her face. She always has a satin scrunchie on her wrist or in her bag.

Her hair is a lighter brutnette color with some platinum woven in especially towards the front. It can best be described as coffee with milk or cafe aulait.

personality traits

+ ambitious, outgoing, protective, open-minded, creative, charmingm idealistic

- competetive, self-critical, impulsive, flirtatious, co-dependent, gullible, self-indulgent, bossy

[drownedinmoon-light]

the orphic  - everly alice de santis

about / pinterest / wanted connections (tba) / playlist(tba)

character inspo: Yennefer (The Witcher.) Persephone (Greek myths.) Cassandra (Promsing Young Woman.) Cass Tanner (Emma in the night.) Elphaba (Wicked.)

TW: death, murder, anxiety, religious guilt/trauma

Full name: Everly Alice De Santis

Nicknames: Ever, E, Evie

Age: 32

Birthdate: November 14th, 1989

Hometown: Napoli, Italy

Current residence: Vancouver BC, Downtown

Occupation: Actress (theatre)

Zodiac: Scorpio sun, Gemini moon, Sagittarius rising

MBTI: INTJ-T

Enneagram - type 4w5 - the free spirit

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor 38% (Ravenclaw 32% Slytherin 27% Hufflepuff 3%)

Alignment:  Chaotic Neutral

Temperment -  Sanguine

about

Everly Alice De Santis was born the younger twin sister to Eden Luna De Santis. The girls were born late morning in Napoli, Italy.

Everly’s mother, Alessia, was a designer who gave way to her dreams when she married Vito. Vito was a headstrong traditionalist with strong Roman Catholic morals. Vito was a well-known and profitable tour guide offering boat tours during the peak season and supplemented income as a handyman during the offseason.

The girls were undeniably loved by their parents. However, it was apparent to them that there was only one way to live and Vito’s way. They grew to watch their mother bend to a mold of what was expected of her, and both girls vowed as children to never become someone who shrunk themselves to fit into someone else’s idea of “right.”

Eden was far more outgoing and sociable, she was also less reliable and far more flaky than her younger twin, but there was always the feeling of lacking in Everly. A sense that was flamed whenever she was compared to her twin.

Everly tried to live up to the shadow of Eden, to be as captivating, as entertaining, as extroverted as she was. She pushed herself harder for recognition and praise, and while Eden seemed to get it for simply existing, Everly knew that she had to overachieve for the same notice.

After finishing their primary education, Eden traveled all over Europe taking informal education while Everly was accepted in Stanford California. She had dreams of being an actress, telling stories, and studying for four years with a dual degree in French and theater.

After finishing her degree, Everly moved to NYC with dreams of Broadway. Dreams that proved difficult. For years, Everly worked waitressing jobs, taking any extra cash she could to make ends meet.

By the time she got any notice on Broadway, it had come to her attention that her twin, Eden, had burned some bridges under her name. Everly had to bend and beg to be heard before her name had any trust in the acting community. However, once she got her foot in the door, she went full force and didn’t look back.

Life was good, and despite her inability to count on Eden, Everly was there for her sister whenever she could be. Still, in their mid to late twenties, she became so elusive that it would be weeks, months before Everly would hear from Eden, and then it was because she needed help.

Much to her fiance’s dismay, Everly would never hesitate to help Eden out. She was her twin, her other half. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her, no matter the cost.

So when Everly was thirty-one years old and was given the terrible news that Eden’s body was found outside of Paris, her life fell into disrepair. Every week Evely followed up with the detective heading the case. And every time, she was given the same dead end. It was almost three months in when Everly decided to take matters into her own hands and began looking into the life Eden had been living in Europe.

Her fiance knew he couldn’t keep doing this, and after six months of the chaos, he gave Everly an ultimatum. She knew he wouldn’t like her answer, and Everly packed a bag the next day- her flight had been booked weeks before.

It has been six months since she arrived in Vancouver and one year since her sister’s death, and the detectives are no closer to solving her murder than they were a year prior. Still, Everly is not so easily swayed and has made it her mission to finally give her family the answers they deserve.

timeline

Nov 1989 - birth Napoli Italy

1992 - 2008 - Classical ballet lessons

2000 - 2007 - Involved in local kids theatre

2003 - Pack made with Eden to never be put into “boxes” matching scars on their palms when they made the “oath.“

2007 - Accepted for Fall admission into Standford University for fall of 2008

Summer 2008 - Moves to Standford, California (roommates and classmates potential WC)

2008 - 2012 - Studies at the University of Standford a major in Theater with a minor in French. Everly was featured in several student films. She participated in a college band as a keyboardist. She entered art competitions, took Ballet classes, and considered switching her majors. Had several relationships and flings. Wrote and won an award for a short horror story published in a literary magazine.

Summer 2012 - Moved to Brooklyn, NYC. The adjustment was difficult for her, but she had several roommates, making it work. She got a few roles off-Broadway but mostly supported herself with odd jobs and ghostwriting.

Winter 2014 met her future fiance after a casting call for the Broadway production of Wicked. Unfortunately, she didn’t get the role.

2015 - Wins a Lucille Lortel award for her off-Broadway performances.

2016 - Starts seriously dating her future fiance and is making a name for herself Off-Broadway, with Broadway still being the goal.

2016 - Finally clears her name from the trouble caused by Eden and lands her first significant role on Broadway. Mama Mia, Sophie.

2017 - 2020 - Makes a strong name for herself on Broadway in roles such as Elphaba, Satine (Moulin Rogue), Christine (Phantom of the Opera), Roxie Hart (Chicago), and countless more.

2018 - Summer, Boyfriend proposes. She says no. Fall - no, he proposes one last time in Winter. She says yes.

Fall 2018 - Wins a Tony Award - Best Performance by an actress in a leading role.

2019 - Postpones the wedding the first time she flies to the Netherlands to help Eden out of a pickle and spends the spring and part of the summer with her there.

2020 - Begins writing more and is steadily planning her wedding. Suggest a date for summer 2021.

March 2021 - Eden’s body is found. Everly returns to Italy, where things are tense with the family. Alessia has had Eden cremated against her fathers’ wishes (it was what Eden wanted). Alessia doesn’t want to lay her remains to rest until the investigation is closed.

March 2021 - May 2021 - Everly breaks from acting and wedding planning. She throws all her focus into finding out what happened to Eden.

June 2021 - The detectives aren’t confident about any new evidence showing up. Everly is un-swayed.

July 2021 - Suggests pushing her wedding back a little further. Things get more noticeably tense with her and her fiance.

July - August 2021 - Finishes out her last play, gives notices of her leave, and books her plane ticket to BC.

September 2021 - Ends things with her fiance and moved to BC.

Sept - November 2021 - Bounces around until finding a more permanent place to live.

Decemeber 2021 - Resumes acting in local theater productions.

March 2022 - Nearing one year since Eden’s death.

personality traits

+ determined, assertive, intutive, ambitious, passionate, witty

- obsessive, pessimistic, unpredictable, envious, skeptical, perfectionist

[drownedinmoon-light]

ROWAN.

She wasn’t proud of her mistake, nor was she entirely shameful of it either. Truth was, her marriage wasn’t perfect and while that was no excuse for falling into bed with another man, it had done wonders for her guilt complex. As had coming home to an empty bed where her husband should have been, but if it wasn’t a business trip, then it was a late night out with the boys or whatever other excuse he wanted to offer her way. That reminder alone was enough to keep her standing confidently despite the man before her striking every nerve in her body. “What? The Italian? No, it’s not. When I don’t know how to express myself, it’s easier doing so that way.” After all, she’d been raised in a home where it was the spoken language and despite the tragic loss of her parents, she hadn’t lost that over the years.

Rowan sucked in a deep breath, forcing herself into silence instead of allowing him the satisfaction of being right. She must have dropped the card when she was shuffling through her things, but she hadn’t expected him to ever follow through with it. “I doubt you could afford me,” she countered coolly, eyes rolling. Her retainer fee had doubled over the years from when she’d first started, all thanks to her vicious behavior in the courtroom and her winning streak that intimidated even the best legal teams.

Whatever she’d expected to roll off of the lips she remembered all too well, it wasn’t the offer for food. It seemed innocent enough, but what did she know about innocence? The last time they’d had drinks together, she’d ended up at his place. Brows shot upwards and a cold laugh fell from her mouth. “You want to take an Italian woman to Olive Garden?” One could only assume that he was joking, but she wasn’t willing to offer him that much credit. “Fine. If you want lunch, we can get lunch, but I’m picking the place and you’re paying.” With a breath hitched in her throat, Rowan shifted around the desk to grab her purse, not even bothering to check her schedule. “I’m ready if you are. Now’s the time to back out,” she challenged, voice strong as she stared up at him.

.

Grayson plucked a candy mint from his pocket, unwrapping it and popping it between his lips without taking his eyes off her. Gray enjoyed knowing people, really getting down to the ins and out of who they were. What made themtick. His eyes dropped down the length of Rowan as he moved the candy from cheek to cheek, a knowing, private smile. He'd been drawn to her from night one and found her exhilarating and frustrating. The sort of person who took up all his thoughts without even trying. His dark eyes brightened as a crooked smile fell into place. "When I'm frustrated, I slip into incoherence. Nowhere near as charming." He claimed, finally shifting his eyes from her face to take in her office- searching for signs of the infamous husband. The man lucky enough to call Rowan his and stupid enough to somehow push her into Gray's arms. A fact he did not hate but was curious to understand. His warm chuckle was Gray's immediate reply to her icy retort on his inability to afford her. He could have told her he owned his bar, told her that he was in the works of creating his own whiskey brand that was set to be a multi-million dollar deal- he could have laid it all out as if his wealth was the singular most impressive thing about him- but he didn't. Gray's shoulders rose in reply as he took a step closer, "It'd be fun to try anyway." He grinned as he spoke, far too enamored with everything she did or said to take an insult as an insult. "Tell me I can't afford you in Italian." He joked with ease. "All you can eat soup, salad, and breadsticks." It was his only argument. The words came deadpan and serious. An expression soon chased away by the easier, comfortable one he found impossible to keep away when he was around her. Gray half expected more of a fight out of her- he wasn't above making an ass of himself for the pleasure of her company, but if he didn't have to, he'd happily take what he was gifted. While Rowan moved around gathering her things, Gray had moved closer, so when she faced him, they were inches apart. Tilting his head down to look her in the eyes. "I wouldn't dream of it." He assured, stepping to the side, one hand hovering near her back as the other gestured for her to lead the way. "Whatever you want. My treat." He repeated as if he had been given a choice- had either of them? From the moment he laid eyes on her, Gray knew he wanted to know her, but at the time, he'd not been aware of the lengths he'd go just to see her again. Stepping out into the warm sunshine, Gray paused, "So Olive Garden is out, and I'm assuming so is the Macaroni Grill." He teased, "What will it be, and is it a walking distance sort of place, or would you like a ride?" Gray offered with a suggestive wink as he unfolded his truck keys from the palm of his hand.

[melpomcne]

GRAYSON.

One night of fun. That was all that she had promised herself, but it wasn’t like she’d gone out looking to bed the first man or woman that looked her way. No. That was never the plan for the night. Her wedding ring, as tight as it felt, stayed in place on her left hand as she and a couple of friends went out for drinks. Single as they were, she was still married, even if it wasn’t happily so. That hadn’t seemed to cross their mind as they accepted drinks from a group of younger men and shamefully, Rowan hadn’t minded either. She liked the attention they were harboring, but specifically, she liked the attention that came from one of the bearded men who towered over the rest of them. She’d liked it so much that she’d found herself tangled beneath the sheets with him. Their togetherness wasn’t one of a meaningful learning experience between lovers; it was a hungry exchange between two people who needed something more than the usual.

It was only after the fact that she realized her mistake. She’d gathered her clothes, mumbled uneasily in Italian, and had darted from his place without a single word. It wasn’t his fault that she’d been unfaithful, but she blamed him all the same. Had he not spotted the wedding ring on her hand? And if he had, why hadn’t he cared? Her worries only eased when she arrived home to a note from her husband; another business trip, this one lasting a week. She was certain he’d probably texted or called, but her phone died early in the night.

For days, it was all she could think about. The way the man’s hands had roamed over her body in a way that her husband’s only had when they’d first gotten together. It was a consuming thought, one that she’d forced herself to swallow down when it came to going back into work. The privacy of her office was something she’d gained over the years. With her family’s money and her mindset on never losing, she’d made a name for herself. A name that she had no intention of ruining over a cheating scandal of a mistake. She’d been pacing the floor of her office when a knock at the door caused her to pause. “Come in,” she offered, a brow arched upwards as she saw her secretary peeking through. “It seems you have a visitor, Mrs. St. Claire. He says he’s a friend. I saw that your schedule was free today so I hope you don’t mind?” Confused, but intrigued, Rowan sucked in a deep breath and offered a nod.

It was only when that same stretched out frame of a man walked into her office and the door had closed behind him that she felt something within her crack. “Non posso crederci,” she huffed, the annoyance clear in her voice. “What are you doing here? How did you even know that this is where I work? You can’t,” she paused, head shaking, “you can’t be here. I don’t even remember your name. What happened… it was a mistake. I’m sorry if you thought of it be something else.”

[drownedinmoon-light]

.

Grayson never was a liar, nor did he like liars. He was an honest man, for better or worse, and when he saw the ring on Rowan's finger, he knew he should have stopped passing longing glances her way. Focus on his work, close the bar, and when he went home, he could hit up his ex. She was good for the company when he found himself in a need that was best satisfied with frenzied passion. He knew that was almost as toxic as Veronica had made it clear they were going nowhere and that she didn't love him anymore. So from where he stood, it was a rock and a hard place, fall into the same pattern with a woman who had broken his heart or take a chance on a clearly taken woman who he'd caught looking his way more than once. Gray didn't have to imagine what she had imagined for long, nor was he surprised to discover that she met him with the same frenzied hunger. He figured it would be only one night, but Grayson had always been a greedy man, wanting more and more than the world told him he could have, and she had been no exception. Watching her leave had been the lowest point of his night, her mutterings in Italian and the regret in every step she took. Grayson should have felt guilty. Maybe he could have told her no and not become the man a married woman had cheated with- but the idea of someone else taking the place he had been in didn't settle well with him, so he pushed the thought away and didn't let it surface again. Grayson had done his best not to think of her, to push the woman out of his mind - he'd been somewhat successful in this until cleaning his room he found a business card; Rowan. She was a lawyer. The irony wasn't lost on him then nor was it lost on him how reckless he was when he skipped lunch with his sister and took a detour to the building Rowan worked at. Grayson didn't give himself any time to talk himself out of it, to think better of whatever the fuck it was he was doing. He was fully prepared to sweet talk himself into a face to face meeting with her, a crooked smile and little white lie latter and he was being led into her office. "Is that a nervous tick?" He asked noting this being the second time he heard her slip into Italian with such ease. Gray was easy in his movements, casual his smile not faltering even at her insistence. "You left a calling card." He said plucking the business card from his back pocket and flipping it against his fingertips. "It wasn't a mistake. It was a choice." He shrugged and closed a few feet of space between them, "What if I was looking for a lawyer? Awful lucky that you left this behind." Gray brushed his fingers over the back of his neck. "I'm not trying to get ya in trouble Rowan." He smiled into saying her name, "I just thought-" Gray paused clearly searching for a reason to be here, "I thought you might be hungry." He settled on, tucking his hands into his pockets and shrugging his shoulders. "Food is innocent." He added, "But if you're not just a little bit happy to see me I can go. Get out of your hair, but I know the best Italian place a few blocks up. Olive Garden? You ever hear of it?"

[drownedinmoon-light]

THEO.​

There was a certain guilt that should have came with fucking his ex-girlfriend’s twin sister, but it was something else entirely seeing as the woman was deceased. If he thought about it too much, it left his stomach in knots, but it was hard to think of it all when Everly flushed the bad memories from his system and offering him some form of peace. It was complicated to understand how she was capable of causing a war within him, yet how her mouth could calm him with ease. If he’d been smarter, he would have walked away from her outside of the club the night before, but making intelligent moves had never been a strong point for the male. A breath hitched in his throat when he heard the door creak open, but her presence had been the only thing missing from the moment. Part of him wondered if she’d walk out of the front door s easily as he’d pulled her through it, but every ounce of him hoped that she didn’t. Not that he deserved a second more of her company. Not after the shit he’d said to her the night before.

“I didn’t want to wake you up. We were up pretty late,” he joked quietly, though the laugh was lost on his lips. He’d already apologized to his roommate via text for whatever disturbance he and the brunette had caused, but that wasn’t on Everly. “Roommate has a fancy espresso machine. She lets me use it. You just pop a few pods into it and that’s all you need.” It didn’t make a mess and the pods were recyclable, which was apparently important to the woman he shared an apartment with. “There’s milk in the refrigerator if you want it. I think there might even be some flavorings on the coffee bar,” he paused, head dipping towards the makeshift coffee bar his roommate had organized. “I know,” he admitted, head dropping as he took a moment to ignore the feeling in his chest. He’d considered asking her to leave, but he couldn’t. “I’m sorry about the shit I said last night. I was pissed and it wasn’t fair.” She’d been looking out for herself and looking for answers to what had happened to Eden; how the fuck was he supposed to blame her for that? “Look, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Kind of feels like nothing is going to be right, but you caught me at a bad time and I was an asshole. I’d get it if you told me to take my coffee and shove it. If anyone doesn’t need to play nice right now, it’s you.”

.

They'd been up late. The evidence was in the ache between her legs, the dark circles under her eyes, and the lightness that came after a night like the one she'd shared with him. She'd felt the same way after their first night together. The lack of guilt was enough for her to take pause. She should have been sorry, praying to whatever Saint you pray to when you fuck your dead twins' ex-boyfriend. Saint Vitalis? Patron saint of sex workers and day laborers? She'd have to ask her priest at Easter; the two times a year her mother had any success in convincing her to enter a church. Instead, her eyes moved to the pods, and she made a subtle face. It was blasphemous but convenient to have coffee in pods. She made no immediate move. She wasn't sure he'd kick her out the moment she thought she could stay. Everly was unsettlingly still as he spoke and explained and apologized. She hadn't been expecting anything to leave his lips, yet it did. Everly would lie and say she didn't need his apology, she did what she did for a reason, and while she regretted how she'd gone about it at the time, it made the most sense. Everly mulled it over for a short amount of time and then decidedly pushed off the wall to grab a coffee mug. "I don't drink milk." Was her answer. Popping a pod into the machine, she pressed the button and turned around to lean against the counter. Maybe she needed the support of something solid. "You were an ass hole, but I could stand to be more forthcoming." She admitted as her coffee mug filled and finished. Everly took the cup, blowing on it to cool before taking the first sip. "It's okay for pod coffee." She admitted with a ghost of a smile followed by a shake of her head. "If you're ever stuck for what to say, compliments go a long way." Everly casually sipped her coffee black, mulling over how much she wanted to give away. Sighing, she set the mug down and closed the distance between them. "I like seeing you, Theo." She knew she didn't need to add how this was a fucked up game they were playing. She was sure he was aware. "But I also need to find out what happened to her." She didn't want to say her sister's name. It felt like saying Macbeth in a theater, a curse on them- a promise of doom before they had a chance to be more than this. Whatever this was. "I don't like having to pick between two things I want. I hate ultimatums. No one is ever happy with them. It's fucked to ask for it. But I want to be here." She said, placing her hands on his chest, "Even when you're being a prick. You're going to have to get a better coffee system."

[melpomcne]

Their conversation on the couch hadn’t lasted as long as it should have, all due to the distraction of their wandering hands and mouths. They’d communicated through the movements of their hips and hushed pleas of pleasure, but nothing more had been said on the topic of moving. With back to back shifts and a new menu on his hands, Rhett had banked more hours in a week than usual. It was the between moments of chaos that he’d started looking for other jobs in different cities, even checking out apartments too. New York City was by far the most expensive place to live, but the best paying jobs were in the heart of Empire State.

“Saf,” he exhaled, a little nervous to move towards the topic that she might not have even meant. Chicago was supposed to be home, but even years into being there, it didn’t feel like a forever place for either of them. “Remember how we were talking about moving the other night? And you said you’d be cool with New York?” He gave a short pause, his nerves daring to get the best of him. “I’ve been looking at jobs and stuff. Apartments are super fuckin’ overpriced, but the pay looks a lot better. I could probably swing an executive chef position if I tried hard enough.” Out of every place he’d looked, New York seemed the most appealing. “I reached out about a job. You know, I had some questions and uh, I liked the answers they gave me.” It’d been with a big name kitchen close to Time Square and they’d answered everything he needed and then some. “I know I got ahead of myself, but if you were serious about the move… I have options. Guess it’s just… do you have options too?”

[drownedinmoon-light]

.

The company was in chaos, and it was clear they were starting to phase out older dancers, and Safiye figured it was only a matter of time until she was pushed to retire. Realistically she had a few years at best, but with her old injury more unpredictable than in the past and the stress of the upcoming spring season, she was missing Rhett more and more these days. Her attempts to reconnect with him were met in late nights when they fell into bed together and left for work, constantly missing each other throughout the day. She was determined to rectify some of that and currently had a cookbook open on the counter and was stirring a sauce that looked more and more like paste in color and consistency. She quickly threw a tea towel over the disaster and strolled towards his voice when he heard his voice. "Maybe we should do take out," Safiye suggested, only stopping in her tracks when he brought up their conversation a few weeks prior. There had been no decision made. Only her favorite part of making up the thought warmed her even now as she moved the rest of the way to greet him with a quick kiss on his cheek. She nodded in reply, a twist of nerves towards the very thing she'd suggested, and Safiye exhaled when he made it to his point. She didn't know what she had expected him to say- but whatever insecure fear she'd had fallen away and she visibly relaxed. "I was afraid you were going to say you wanted to go..." She didn't add the without me it didn't need to be added. Kicking herself for voicing it she wondered when there would be a time when she finally felt peace- no fear in losing him. Safiye chewed her lip while silently regarding him, "You could have told me when you were looking." She pointed out dusting flour from her hands and sweeping her hair away from her face she shrugged, "We can swing a place and honestly, the company is in free fall and my career dancing professionally feels like its closing sooner than later." Saifye sat on the arm of the couch, her feet on the cushions when she looked over at him. "I've been thinking of the next step. What I would do next and I could get studio space in the same borough you work in and give lessons." She explained, "It'd take a year or so to set up to get customers, but I could still dance part time with a company while I get it going- we could leave Chicago. I want to leave Chicago. I want to go where you go."

[campodegirassois]

[drownedinmoon-light]

THEO.

Round for round, Theo had left everything inside of the club. He’d swung until every inch of his body ached and there was nothing left to give. His payout for the night’s fights had been more than he’d expected, making the choice of backing out seem even more difficult than it had after the first night he’d been there. The real fight had happened outside; the one that had somehow hurt him more than any punch he’d taken in the ring. Had he been smarted about it all, he would have walked away, but as history would tell, making good choices wasn’t something that he was good at. In fact, he was terrible at it. Which, was exactly why he’d ended up dragging Everly back to his place, choosing to fall further into the tangled web of messiness that they’d spun together. It wasn’t perfect, and she wasn’t Eden, but it worked.

He wasn’t sure what time they’d finally settled into bed together, but the sun had been peeking through his curtains. She’d fallen asleep at his side and after an hour of trying to do the same, Theo had carefully moved out from his place in bed and into the kitchen. It was the note left on the countertop that let him know his roommate had already for the morning and wouldn’t be back until the evening. Grinning, the male shifted around the cabinets to pull down two mugs before he hurt the sound of footsteps behind him. “I didn’t know how long you’d be out, but I was going to make coffee,” he offered, unable to turn back and face the woman just yet. It was one thing to fight and then fuck, but what happened after that? “I called off from the shop today. Figured I’d hang out around the apartment and get some shit done.” Was it an invite for her to stay? Not entirely, but he hadn’t asked to leave either. “You want something to eat?”

.

There was this loud voice in the back of Everly's mind that more and more lately she could tune out until it began to sound like white noise. However, there was a rare occurrence when it was unavoidably crystal clear. The voice wasn't consistent- sometimes it was her sister's voice chastising her, her fathers- mothers, a dance teacher she had back in Italy. The most unnerving was when it was her own cadence screaming at her, begging for some sense out of the nonsensical. Where is your guilt?! Put down under a shaded lemon tree in Sicily the summer I turned fifteen- guilt wasn't a feeling that Everly believed herself capable of in the usual sense. She did not feel guilty that she had left her fiance. She didn't feel guilty that she slept with Theo or went through his things. It didn't stop her from being sorry. If you asked her, she would argue the lack of guilt made her apology more sincere because she wasn't sorry she got caught. So sorry that when their argument outside of the club seemed to be going south when he invited her home after she shoved him more than once, Everly didn't hesitate. Was this what making up felt like? She must have been exhausted because one moment she was spent lying next to him searching for the energy to find her clothes and leave- once was a coincidence twice was bordering on a habit. And the next, she must have fallen into a dreamless sleep. Unsure how long has passed, Everly jolted awake, his side of the bed empty. She sat up and went to find her clothes, remembering they were strewn about his room. Frowning when she couldn't find her underwear, she simply pulled her dress over her head and slipped silently towards his sounds in the kitchen. Everly paused in the doorway, raking her fingers through her hair. "I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep." Yawning, her eyes drifted to both cups, "How do you make it?" She asked, her brow rising as she looked around for beans or any indication of an instant coffee pot. Everly shifted the weight from foot to foot, "Didn't want to leave me alone in your apartment again?" She asked, barreling forward instead of tiptoeing around the significant weight that was undoubtedly settled in her chest- was it fear that he'd come to his senses post tangle in the sheets? Everly's lips twitched and she cast her eyes down, wondering where her shoes were. "You don't have to be nice to me, Theo." She pointed out, her chest wounding tight at the thought of another fight. "You can ask me to go if you want." Everly was no good at tip toeing around what was on her mind, often saying the wrong thing. However, she figured it was best to know now rather than wait and get kicked out over a plate of burnt coffee and scrambled eggs.

[drownedinmoon-light]

RHETT.

Rhett had never imagined leaving his comfort zone of the Vegas area, let alone leaving the state or the country. He’d never had the funds or the resources to make it happen and even now, it seemed too far fetched to be believable. That, Rhett Barlowe, the man from nothing, could turn around and have everything. “I don’t know,” he admitted softly, his voice sounding far more defeated than he felt. Lungs forced the air out in the form of a quiet huff, his thoughts racing as fast as his pounding heart. “I don’t know where to even start. New York would be cool. There are a lot of badass restaurants there that I could get a job at.” He’d considered Miami too, but Florida was a different kind of beast. If he opened his options up to the world, then he had even less of a clue about where he wanted to go. “Italy would nice,” he shrugged, though he knew more about French style cuisine than Italian. “Bet you could find a lot of places over there to dance.” Pulling back a few inches to get a better look at his wife, he bit down on his bottom lip and offered a reassuring smile towards her. “Where would you go?” After all, she was the one with all of the worldly experiences.

His temper was something he’d worked on for years; something that he didn’t want her to ever face and she wouldn’t. If that meant taking time or space, or whatever else she wanted to consider it, then he would. “I don’t like how arguing makes me feel. I don’t like being angry with you.” He wasn’t the aggressive type, nor would he ever be. He’d spent his whole life yelling and being yelled at; he didn’t want to do that with his wife too. “I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t care how pissed off I am. I’ve done enough of that for one lifetime.” He would apologize if that’s what she needed, but he wanted her to know that it wasn’t an act of avoidance nearly as much as it was an act of trying to process it all.

With the space between them and absence of physical touch, Rhett had a longing for his wife that always rested in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t remember ever longing for anything in his life, but her? He’d spent forever needing her touch; needing her. Her quiet plea left him hungry; was the spark to the flame that was always burning within. What felt like an innocent moment of understanding now felt like one of a hunger he’d never completely satisfy, though he’d spend forever trying. Nodding, lips fell firmly into a needy rhythm with her mouth and one hand found solace against her face while the other gripped tightly at her waist. Hips lifted upwards slightly, body silently begging for a deeper pressure against his lap. Was this how she wanted him to show his love? 

...

The very fact that he had not shot the idea down the moment she suggested it lit Safiye up from within. The idea they could leave and start over someplace else? She felt as if she were buzzing with the energy to make it happen. Her eyes volleyed around their house, and the chaotic thought that she'd leave it all and start over with him made her heart skip a beat. Safiye knew better than that, tho. She needed to plan- or at least to pack some of her things. As much as she loved Rhett, she still had a few creature comforts she'd want to take with her, but he was top of the list. She listened intently as he listed off the possible places- New York tickled something exciting inside her. She could hear her mother's voice already talking up Paris. As much as it was her first home, Parisians weren't known for their hospitality towards ex-pats- and still she wondered if only idly. "We're city people." She proclaimed it confidentially. Her slim shoulders were rising, "I can dance in any city, and I only have a few good years left before I'm retired ballerina-" Saf paused, thinking of where she could go to spend her last years as a prima ballerina, a wish she had laid to rest after her injury stunted her progress. "After I retire, I don't know what I'll do, but before then, New York comes to mind. I don't know anyone there...Spain even sounds nice, but anywhere I could go anywhere." She assures him, her fingers dancing down the length of his biceps. "Angry with moi?" Saf made an exasperated noise as if the thought was unheard of tho. She knew the truth, and it made her chest tighten. Her gaze softened as her blue hues leveled on his face. "I hate it." She agrees, her voice firmer than her nerves. Safiye understood, but understanding did little to alleviate the ache in her chest. "I hate space, I hate fighting, I hate that you were angry with me." She admits, "I hate more that you didn't think you could tell me what you needed." She slips her fingers between his, her thumb brushing the side of his hand. "You need to be comfortable telling me what you need- I understand that is new for us- we've only just begun this exclusivity part of our relationship, but I don't think it can work if you can't tell me what you need." It pained Safiye to say those words aloud, and as she said them, it was as if she understood better her own reluctance to become something monogamous with him- there were more rules, more chances to fuck up, and more chances in which she could lose him. The thought drained some color from her face, and Safiye sniffed back the urge to cry, steeling her features into something masking all her fears and uncertainty. Safiye didn't need words to understand this. Her hips rocked forward against his lap, and her body moved flush against his. A breath caught between their lips while she realized how deeply she had missed his touch. His name is a soft beacon on her lips—a whisper between a needy kiss. Safiye's forehead brushes his, her hand skirts along his cheek, and rests around his neck. The physical aspect of who they were was never the problem. They did it well. Rhett had an innate ability to make Safiye feel as if she were blooming, alive with a few well-intentioned brushes of his lips. "Don't fight with me but don't lock me out either." She sighs her words breathless as Safiye gingerly leans back, her chest away from his while her hips move in a slow rhythm in his lap- "Anything else just don't keep me out...I can't bear it-"