I guess it was a bit more than two years ago. It was right after my 17(?)th birthday. Sorry about dates and times, I've never been great at tracking time. But I've decided to start writing it all down. At least, as much as I can remember, and as much as I can without turning this into anything lewd.
But it was a few days after my 17th birthday, or 16th, whichever one happened when COVID lockdowns started in our state. In March. That week was particularly stressful for me. Stress has always messed with my sleep. It would result in extreme sleep paralysis.
Sleep paralysis never sounds scary to people who haven't experienced a true episode. My stupid brain chemistry (born 2 months early) made for horrible episodes of sleep paralysis. Imagine, a massive blanket of weight pulling down on your entire body. Every motion is forced back. You cant really see much, just vauge lights and shadows. You can hear general noise and loud things. If you try to move your limbs, it feels like a wrestler is forcing your limbs back into place. You cant wake up either. Not easily. Believe me, I've tried everything. Nothing helps.
The worst is the breathing. Your body believes you can't breathe. There's a weight on your chest that you can't get off, and is forcing the air from your lungs. It hurts. So bad. You want to breathe. You want to get up. You want to escape. But you can't.
But it's a dream, right? No. Ever since I started having these episodes, I slept with a wireless pulse and 02 meter on my finger. During the worst episodes of sleep paralysis, my blood oxygen levels dipped dangerously low. And several times, I was trapped, unable to wake up, and it made me late for school so many times.
The only two strategies I had (before *her*) were only slightly effective. Essentially, imagine you are adrift in a dense fog. You don't know which way goes where. If you go further away from your destination, you get tired out and trapped. But, someone can throw you a rope, or shine a light.
If I was able to recognize that I was having an episode early enough, I could concentrate all my energy into one arm, and swing it at my bedside table. Hopefully, activating my touch sensitive lamp, or more often than not, knocking it to the ground.
A strong enough noise or light, as long as it was constant, could act as a tether, and I could force myself awake.
But often, I would miss, or it wouldn't be strong enough. So the only other option was if the 02 sensor alarm went off. But often, it wouldn't go off because it's battery was low or something.
So, in several instances, I felt trapped.
For weeks, I was scared of sleeping. I hated going to bed because I knew there was a chance for another episode. So I would go three or four days with only an hour of sleep.
Of course this made things worse. When my body would eventually collapse, a paralysis episode was almost guaranteed.
But near the end of the school year, something changed. Whether it's my screwed up mind creating a subconscious coping mechanism, or something more, I don't know.
But, one night, there was something different.
The episode started as usual. I couldn't breathe, move, or do anything. I tried to force my arm to hit my lamp, but it didn't work. As I felt my lungs burning, I saw her. The most beautiful being I had ever seen.
Yeah, basically a furry's dream girl.
She was about 6ft tall, fit build. Nude, but convenient fluff where it's needed. Her fur was a lighter gray, with a large brighter section of fur going from her face down her chest, and along her legs. She had a long, fluffy tail that turns white on the end. She had human like hair that is almost always cut short and somewhat messy, and was a nice gray. And for anyone wondering, her boobs were not big. Like, they're definitely there, but she's pretty flat. They're completely covered in convenient fluff. Her eyes were a hypnotic silver. When she speaks, her voice is soft and understanding. The closest person I've heard to sounding like her is the Minecraft YouTuber GeminiTay. But it's not an exact match.
And when she sings, her voice is angelic.
That's what I noticed first.
When she appeared next to me, she started singing. She sang U2's MLK (sleep tonight). As she sang, my body immediately relaxed. I could move and breathe. And as soon as she was done, I woke up.
Whenever I would get sleep paralysis after that, she always appeared and sang. I can't even begin to list all the different songs she sang. But every time, it worked.
And after a few weeks, I finally asked her name.
"Midna" she replied softly. "If you ever need me, just call and I'll be there."
After that, pretty much every night, I would see Midna in my dreams. At first, we would just chill. Cuddling with her was so awesome. I could talk to her about my day and she would listen.
Midna was so awesome. She made a great therapist, with the added bonus of being so fluffy that I could bury my head in her chest fluff.
As time went on, I learned that she could shape shift. And slowly, I learned how to transform myself in the dreams. We started flying around.
In the dreams, we would normally be in my house. It was like the Astral projection thing from Dr. Strange, where your spirit can leave your body. And we would normally would be in my bed or on a couch. And we would fly as dragons through the night. It felt so freeing and wonderful.
And that's where I'll leave it for now. I still see Midna on a nightly basis. And more weirdly, I can see her when I'm awake. And I love it.
The attached image on this post is her favorite form. I had a friend draw it up for me.