mm
okay so i know there’s different ways to say you unstan a group like
“unstan”, lost interest, bored, felt whatever, don’t like (!!!!!!)
i think when i started to start focusing on myself and felt really whatever post-solo day because i didn’t feel as connected to the music/concepts it was like an “okay i got what i wanted. i’m fulfilled” and it was okay to put more energy into trying other groups, even though i could never really stan as hard bc of yucky ppl and unfortunate circumstancesss
isn’t that a bit strange to describe it?? it’s like i ate a yummy meal and being able to watch it being made, being served, eating it, enjoying the experience, and not feeling greedy to have more because the experience that i got was worth it. i almost got to see them in kcon and i spent so many months reading their interviews, subbed videos, and reblogging stuff that helped me feel emotionally content at a time when i mentally wasn’t. like wow! what a privilege it was to be able to get to know and celebrate ot5 right when who am i came out. ((s..source?? look at my jan 2014 archive)
i got this pang of emotion when i randomly thought about b1a4′s old music like empty mind, love emotion (ok not old lol), and what do you want to do... and then i did the painful action of listening to them... multiple times..... and it was a lot.
i still feel full... it makes me happy to think about those few months when b1a4 really did give me the full course meal...... ..sigh...........
edit: also made the unfortunate choice to look up cha yoonji..... s.//sihj..sigh....















