Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it. @duchesscarroll - Tumblr Blog

Got myself a nice splinter while riding her dick.

Happy birthday to me!

So I was out with some people last night for open mic. And I meet this guy, right, who knows the boys I'm with. We have minimal contact, he's focussed on them, nbd. I didn't like his vibe. Then he asks me what I do. And after telling him he looks to the guy I'm with saying *instead of responding to me* "Dude, you're gunna have to watch yourself with this one, I bet she has a bag of fucking toys waiting for you." So I basically responded: wtf "Like your attitude, the glasses, the leather jacket, like you gotta be into shit." And not in the "bruh. she a freak, ;) ;)" way but in the, "wtf are you thinking," way. Uh. So I said something along the lines of never having met someone to have the audacity to say that right after meeting me. Conversation over. I'm just sick of the stupid judgey shit?? Like, you obviously know someone or something about kinks to make that kind of assessment, so it's not like you're so disgusted by it that you avoid it. And being stoned is not an excuse to be a fucking dick. Dick.

#babbling again.#kink #bdsm #mariah's also had about 2 hours of sleep since this incident which is going to make work fucking rough #d/s #rants at 5am

Vivid dreams

This one involved a saber tooth and a T-Rex; like stahp?? I want a full night of sleep.

#babbling again.#dreams

disloyalorder

baby dragons that sleep in your fireplace and roll about in the soot and the ash trying to get comfortable on burning logs, screeching loudly whenever people walk by or when more logs need to be added to its roost and not stopping until content again

baby dragons with wings that are disproportionate to their bodies until older but nonetheless stubbornly trying to pick themselves up off the ground by running and aggressively flapping and managing to only get a few feet off the ground for a few seconds before crash landing

baby dragons that haven’t been exposed to priceless things such as gems and gold pieces and instead infatuate themselves with other unusual shiny things — like silverware, brass clocks, instruments, and pots and pans

baby dragons who get cold in the winter and crawl up into their caretaker’s clothing (almost always while said clothing is being worn) and curl up as tight as possible and begin to make sounds similar to content purring as they sleep

stepchildofthesun

baby dragons making whiny hungry bird noises until they’re fed

baby dragons being afraid of the family cat for a while until after a few days the cat wanders up to the sleeping pile of scales and fire and curling around them for a nap in the sunshine

baby dragons stealing the shiny car keys and chewing on them

baby dragons gently nibbling on the jewelry of their favorite people- and not so gently with people they don’t like

life-of-an-average-freak

baby dragons blowing tiny puffs of smoke out their noses when they snore

baby dragons using the cat’s scratching post

baby dragons wearing tiny saddles with knight-in-shining-armour action figures riding on their backs

baby dragons roasting mini marshmallows mid-air when you toss them before eating them

baby dragons hiding on top of bookshelves and cabinets when they don’t want to go to the vet

alachatte

baby sea dragons that eagerly await you in the bathtub. baby earth dragons that help your garden by making 10 foot bushes and daisies as big as you. baby dragons that make their first cave your closet.. and hoard all of your clothes.

goldengoatblog

Baby dragons that ‘kidnap’ your little relatives and chase them around into secluded places. Baby dragons that think they belong on shoulders even though they’re not quite babies still and ow that hurts and ow CLAWS.

Baby dragons deciding the mailman has come to claim their treasure and screeching and blowing smoke every time he comes to the house. Baby dragons getting very attached to the new baby human and deciding that this is their human and they should never be apart.

#im ded #gimme #need

onedirectionforever

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.

#kilty #fisherman

grimbarkiwi

lets have more videogames where you’re the dragon

character customization on what you look like

get your own cave

make a horde

capture a princess and guard her and maybe be nice to her (maybe like have it a multi outcome so how you behave depicts how she fancies you)

kill and eat knights

burn villages and devour their livestock

that kinda bullshit

more dragon videogames

ranchoenthusiast

um yes

#please

potterswheeezy

i-am-the-error

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SLYTHERIN FOUNDER WEARING THIS DRESS?

HE COULD SO PULL OFF THAT DRESS!

#need #slytherin

nathanwillett

Buy Bo Burnham’s “Egghead” poetry book or you will regret your entire life probably.

rollmelykeabluntcuziwannagohome

Someone buy me this book.

themotherofdinos

If I ever get married, I want to do the vows from "Corpse Bride"

“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, For I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.”

jennathearcher

YES.

HELL. FREAKING. YES.

solitarycheese

wow. that is lovely.

#you know who #marriage inspiration

becausebirds

An owl gets inside the house. The Owl Whisperer™ tries to get it back outside again. x

heycinco

goraeintheskyy

#this is it this is american television

uncool-666

that all happened in under 2 minutes

victorionious

ok no but imagine gay cowboys that aren’t “sad about bein gay” cowboys blushing w/ boots going ”i want u to be my partner, partner” “but i AM your partner, partner” “no but like i want you t be my partner partner, partner” “*low whistle* *tips brim of hat to cover blush* well howdy doody” “is that a yeS??? ??”

IT WOULD BE CUTE OK….