@dude-wtff-blog - Tumblr Blog

How are penguins not extinct?

coffeepotsmokin-deactivated2018

I am in tears omg

whoever timed the film to the music is fucking brilliant this is gorgeous and oh my god i know they’re made of a lot of fat/blubber but this gave me like seven heart attacks

boomboxgod

Clumsy pillows

siriussly-serious

I’ve pulled my tshirt up over my face to try and hide the fact that I am crying with laughter on the coach full of people.

yetanothercriminalmindsfanatic

@ssaalexblake

memewhore

polyglotplatypus

skygenders

I’m coining generation Nobody Knows for people born in 1995-2000

skygenders

generation Nobody Knows has the qualities of both Millennials and Gen Z. We are broke and miserable like Millenials and frothing at the mouth and out for blood like Gen Z.

demandean

we have the aggression, and also the depression

unclefather

tiralatele

kissmelou

as a college student, my favorite words are “canceled” and “free”

je-ne-suis-pas-un-oiseau

Free pizza is cancelled

classyroar

Why would you even say something like that

iguanamouth

hey man

r3d-ca9

What in the actual fuck.

daftpostpunk

did Jesus pay for our sins with cash or credit

bones-and-bricks

he used praypal

mysharona1987

lesbianmichelmishina

shit that actually happens in pokemon:

a giant castle rises from the ground around the main government building. this is basically peta’s fault.

you ride a dragon-god into space to fight a meteor alien. this is plan b. plan a was to send the meteor alien to another dimension.

one guy tries to get rid of the oceans. one tries to get rid of dry land. What Happens Next Will Shock You.

a dude jumps straight out of the water onto an evil pirate ship, lowers the gangplank, then swims off to let a teenager deal with it.

there is a 1/3 chance that a runaway 11-year-old yakuza/mafia prince broke into a laboratory to steal an adorable plant creature.

you can buy a useless fish for several thousand yen from a shady salesman. this is actually a very good investment.

the devil, the god of death and the bringer of eternal nightmares all really really really like cake.

the space cultists would have won if dragon lucifer hadn’t showed up.

god is a goat, and if you take it to the right place, it will make you a baby god.

the most powerful trainer in the world (a 14-year-old with a pet rat) went up a frozen mountain for no apparent reason. he only comes down after you beat up his rat. this is absurdly difficult.

the effective ruler of the unova region is a magical catgirl space princess with a bunch of pet dragons.

there’s a nine foot tall guy wandering around. his height is the least interesting thing about him. and his best friend is a flower fairy.

ali-enby-moved

•Guy refuses to put on a shirt even atop a freezing mountain because he thinks it’ll make him less cool looking

•The actual child of the stars is a little shit

•Lady disowned her kids for a jellyfish

•The boss of the region’s local crime organization has a pet isopod

•Actuals aliens come to earth to protect it from other aliens

•Girl was raised to become the master of a dragon, dragon chooses random 12 year old

•Super model tells a 14 year old girl’s dad to fuck off

•An entire underground system full of valuable fossils and gems is completely open to the public as long as they have basic digging tools

•An over powered bird showed it’s self after hundreds of years just to revive 3 dogs

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

actually when I was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i’d be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.

but it didn’t stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk I was 13, I was going to show up. I was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?

the drama. the theatrics. i can’t believe i didn’t realize i was gay right then but that’s another story, also involving vampires,

ithelpstodream

porterr-robinson

avvocarlo

video of the year

tamascotchi-deactivated20190101

keep the rave alive da

limondoritos-deactivated2021030

what do you call a sphere full of idiots

limondoritos-deactivated2021030

earth

papasmoke

In her essay Tik Tok the great philosopher Ke$ha declared that ‘the party don’t start till I walk in.’ which is clearly meant to convey that any recreational gathering is not truly a party until Ke$ha herself arrives.

But what if Ke$ha were to leave the party for some period of time only to then walk in again? This paradoxical scenario in which a party must simultaneously already exist and not exist yet is known as Ke$ha’s Quantum Party and has stumped theoretical physicists for decades.

terpsikeraunos

Ke$ha clearly states that “when I leave for the night I ain’t comin’ back” (Animal 2.4), and furthermore, that “Tonight, Imma fight/‘Til we see the sunlight” (2.13-14), implying that she will neither depart nor desist from celebration until the following solar recurrence; moreover, she asserts in the refrain that “…the party don’t stop, no” (2.16), sagely reassuring us that no spacetime-rending event will occur.

unofficialperson-deactivated202

that mental illness feel when your brain tells you to do something stupid and your body is like “yup” and does it without consulting you first

striders

literally every skin and hair care professional in the world: hot showers are really damaging!!!

me, stepping out of the shower into a bathroom filled floor to ceiling with steam, my skin glowing neon pink after i’ve scrubbed every inch of my body raw under boiling water: Interesting!