I am living my truth.
Sometimes I forget that many of my desires have already turned into reality. That I am being, in my actions, the (non)person that I truly want to be. That I am no longer at the beginning of my journey. Sometimes I have to remind myself. As of right now:
- I've permanently given up control of my orgasms.
- I don't leave the house without making sure I'm as pleasing to look at as I can be.
- I consistently obey the man that owns me, and the men that use me, with much less resistance.
- I keep myself desperate and needy, so that I am more eager to please and more willing to degrade myself for the pleasure of those men.
- I'm constantly working on myself; obedience and appearance are the two most important things in my life; I am dedicated to them and I have made real progress in those areas.
And, on top of that, I've forgotten what it feels like to cum. I actually can't remember the sensation of the body I inhabit experiencing its own orgasm. It's just a concept for me now; it's not a real thing anymore. What *is* real for me is feeling a man cum inside of me or on me. Feeling a man use me to reach the peak of his pleasure. Which, now that I don't cum, is also the peak of my pleasure and satisfaction. I can clearly remember what cum tastes like, and what it feels like leaking out of me. I don't know how many orgasms I've given other people since the last one I had.
The orgasms of men that use me are real to me. My own orgasms are not. This is now part of my reality. Part of who I am.
I *am* living my truth.
