i don't actually think starfish are dumb

it's too fucking hard to get a good URL on this fucking website

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this website makes me self-conscious about my fucking eyebrows

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my sexuality is I will shoot someone if I have to explain it one more time

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every time a fave blog disappears i just wanna have a funeral like r.i.p. man

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get my life in order? i can’t even get my blog in order

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when I lose a follower: judas how could you bro

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roses are red and you’re a cutie

will you let me touch your booty?

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friends: read my text posts

best friends: read my tags

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hobby: taking care of drunk people

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Somehow I usually end up hanging out in my room naked

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whenever im in public and porn comes up on my dash i say “oops”

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according to google no one on the internet has ever said “I will shank you will my penis”

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Imagine if instead of an infestation o mice or cockroaches you had an infestation of puppies

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I just want someone to share a bed

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If fairies were real I’d make a little mansion and bake them cakes with an easy bake oven

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Lets play a game: how long can I pretend I don’t care about you

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haha what day of the week is it even

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I wish tumblr savior could blacklist the thoughts in my head