“Well-” He mutters “if you actually did anything other than sit at a desk all day in your basement and you ate food other than cheese fries maybe you’d be able to keep up with the birds.”
He clears his throat and shrugs, giving Riley a look that says you know I’m right.
When they make the pigeon comment, Parker grits his teeth so hard the force practically causes them to crowd even closer together. He knows that there is no convincing Riley. They are on another plane of reality, and there is no earthly way to get through to them. He knows this.
“So if pigeons are really surveillance devices-” He pauses. He was about to say ‘why don’t they come inside more often’ but then he realised that, following Riley’s insane logic, they wouldn’t need to, because indoors can just be bugged with normal surveillance devices. He opens his mouth to say something else, but then stops- of course there’d be no physical cameras inside the pigeons, they’re bio-organic. Parker grimaces. He’s too good at reading other people, he can predict every counter-argument Riley could ever come up with, and it’s already driving him up the wall. He grunts in frustration, then takes a breath.
“First of all.” He puts up a finger. “First of all. How do you know that?”
This poor fool. This poor, misguided fool. He’d broken the one main rule about interfacing with Riley Alana Almanzor while they’re in conspiracy mode: Never ask a follow up question. It was like inviting a vampire inside, but worse, because at least with the vampire finding a release in death was a possibility.
“Well, well, well, now you’re speaking my language, Matthews. I need to give you a little bit of context first - so there are no authentic, verifiable records of pigeons before 1961. Anything before that was fabricated by the government with the help of George Lucas. They got their name from the inventor of the technology, Arthur Q. Pigeon, who was also the first French man in Space - he went up there on one of Stanley Kubrick’s space missions to help him authentically fake the moon landing.”
They realise they’re rambling, and course-correct.
“Look, it’s clear you want to know the truth, and that’s admirable. Even if you are a Suit, the heart of a true truth-exposer might beat within your pale, skinny chest. I can help you with that, because I’m an expert at exposing myself. Are you familiar with the TheTruthIsOutThere forums?”
snowghoul
theartofmadeline
andulkaphoto
2087
vaporwave
