[dumbsouvenir]

ive got the rope around my neck right now. i hope this works

[dumbsouvenir]

im not able to do it. am i that big of a coward. i cant pull myself out of this horrible life in any way. im done

[dumbsouvenir]

Can someone please save me i dont wanna die

[dumbsouvenir]

1month 13 days

[dumbsouvenir]

I hope i get reason to stay. I dont wanna die. I hope someone notices me and gives me relief. I want to be caught being suicidal. I want them to beg me to stay. I want an apology from the world for treating me like this. I dont want people telling me its gonna get better. I want them to make it better.

I hate myself and who i have become. But i have become this way because of the world. Call me weak i dont care.

I want someone to see me for who i am.

[dumbsouvenir]

I imagine that ill commit but ill wake up the next day. Ill look sick qnd frail because of the pills. My parents wont be home and ill eat my sandwich qnd ill realize that I'd failed.

But somehow life would get better. And eventually id regret ever attempting.

I hate having hope. Only makes you foolish.

I have to make sure i dont fail.

[dumbsouvenir]

I know that I really dont want to do it. I keep imagining that I'll wake up. That I'll live. I want to live so bad. I want to live.

I want to wake up in my bed and eat my mother's food and i want soneone to genuinely hug me and tell me to stay. Why does it hurt so much. I dont want to live this horrible life anymore. Everynight i cry and pray that i never wake up again. Every day is the same. How long do i have to keep suffering.

I know that if i keep the date sooner, ill hesitate. 1 month and 15 days. Is enough for me. I need to be reminded of how horrible my life is and how bad its going to get. I will remember it and write it down so i dont forget. The good parts are turning against me lately. Living like this is foolish. I cant be swayed by that one time i felt content with who i am. The pain is permanent, i neen to make sure to remember, or else ill be stuck in a cycle. It was never going to get better. Who tf was i kidding. I should've done it 5 years ago. Would've spared me the pain now.

I need to be sure of what im doing. So that when i commit, i dont get distracted. Im so happy its all gonna be over soon. The pain will be over.

[dumbsouvenir]

Im going to kill myself on 5th January 2026. Im not sure how exactly. Mostly pills. I dont know which ones to take. I just needed to tell someone. I cant live anymore. Its getting worse. Everytime i tell myself its gonna get better, it never does.

I want to live. I want to graduate college. I want to get a good job and hang out with my friends and go on trips and explore the world and meet someone and fall in love.

But i canttakethis anymore. Ill give my exams next week and im gonna try my best to get good scores. Ill go on a trip in December and ill enjoy it. This last month of my life i will give it my all. And then i will die. And i wont regret it because i will be dead.

Im just sad that i have been given this beautiful gift of life and i have completed and utterly wasted it. Every opportunity given to me, i have wasted it. All i do is complain, when i know i deserve this pathetic life. Im sorry but the pain is too much.

[dumbsouvenir]

I have been writing about the same problems for 5 years now i dont think its ever going to get better.

[dumbsouvenir]

Thesuicide helpline isnt picking up??? Lmaooo

[dumbsouvenir]

I wanna disappear

[dumbsouvenir]

when should i kms

after diwali vacation

qfter end sem

Voting ended onOct 18, 2024

[dumbsouvenir]

Im so fucking stupid for thikking its all gonna get better

[dumbsouvenir]

Mala marun jaychay

[dumbsouvenir]

Maybe she doesnt care about 10 years of friendship. She doesnt care about me

[onedayiwillgrowwings]

hachi

I feel as though everyone around me has such a bright future ahead of them, meanwhile I’m just there. I stick out like a sore thumb. I simply exist without any purpose. I feed people lies of my bravery. I realize, somewhere in my scattered thoughts that I simply exist to one day die. I’m nauseatingly ordinary. I’m one of those people I would see in the streets and wish to be nothing like in the future. Now I’m just like them; miserable, lost and unapproachable. Everyone around me will achieve such great things and I will always just watch from the sidelines. Always so close to actually getting on stage but never close enough. I think what makes me so miserably ordinary is the fact I’m me. Who I am has stripped me away of all of my potential. If someone else were to get my wasted potential they would surely make it into something great; something out of the ordinary. But I have been cursed with the most unfortunate curse one may know; the disease of being who I am. Being me has taken away from me every single chance I have had at doing something to be remembered for. My self has taken away from me my chance of living up to the title of the gifted kid; someone with so much potential and someone so interesting. Someone who mattered and someone I would be proud of. Someone I am not and someone I can only wish to have been. How strange it is to be anything at all.

[dumbsouvenir]

Why is nothing going right