Dungeons, Dragons n' Drinking

[laughingsquid]

‘The One Ring Explained’, An Animation That Explains the Complicated Nature of J.R.R. Tolkien’s the One Ring

[pizza-party]

The first one of these was great! Hoping for a Part 3 now!

[reillybrown]

Made some more progress on this guy.  Heh, his mustache seems a bit wiggly.

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Killgore on the move!

[sirenknights]

Dice Shaming

[ruckawriter-deactivated20200128]

This is a good argument for not using virtual dice.

(Which have been screwing me something awful of late…).

[cullenbunn]

My dice are always nice to me… and cruel to my players.

[greg-pak-deactivated20150804]

"Dear Mr. Gygax," a.k.a. proof that I was probably the nerdiest kid in all of North Dallas in August 1982

While clearing out a storage room today, I found my old box of Dungeons and Dragons papers and figurines. And in a carefully saved envelope, I found a letter I sent on August 19, 1982, to Dungeons and Dragons creator Gary Gygax that had been returned to me by his company, TSR, along with their new product submission guidelines.

I love this letter because I’d completely forgotten it and it reminded me of who I was (and, let’s face it, who I still am — check out the centaur references on page 2). I also love it because it could probably be read pretty convincingly all the way through in the “Simpsons" Comic Book Guy voice.

But mostly I love it because the folks at TSR took the time to read the letter, underline the actual question I asked, and send me their submission packet. A thousand hearts to them for that.

I share this with you because it made me laugh, and I hope it’ll amuse you, too.

Hugs all ‘round, and keep loving what you love.

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Trying to get the centaurs involved even back then, I see! 

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Victorious in battle, the heroes inspect their spoils, and discover that the treasure they'd been hired to obtain was a box that contained a crystal skull... A crystal skull that radiated PURE EVIL.

Is our patron all that he appears to be?  What monster would request such an object?  What is the best way to rip him off?

The noble heroes debate these questions for hours.

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Arf Nads-- Heroic?!

Having run for safety with the disputed treasure, on his way from the dangers of the dungeon, the crafty rogue Arf Nads had a change of heart. 

None can say what went through his mind at that moment. Was it a sense of camaraderie that had built up between himself and his companions over their many adventures that prevented him from abandoning them to their fates?  Did the small sliver of bravery that exists in even the blackest, most two-faced and self-serving of men step forward and make itself known? Did he realize that if he left, surely Killgore would seek him out, even if it meant returning from the grave, and extract bloody vengeance?

None but Arf Nads know for sure.

But we do know this-- in that moment where the light of providence shined upon him, Arf Nads found a place to hide the treasure away from evil hands, and turned back to join his companions in whatever their fate may be. 

Sneaking through a side corridor, the Rogue emerged from the shadows behind Malareth and shoved his dagger deep into the necromancer's back.

And that didn't quite kill him so he did it again.

Falling lifelessly to the ground, the sorcerer's evil spells broke, and his undead minions crumbled to dust, leaving only our brave adventuring heroes still standing-- Victorious!  

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Betrayal!

Thanks to Killgore's tireless occupation of the enemies time and swords, the Dark Wizard Malareth's spell of immobility wore off the Gender-Nonspecific Maxie, allowing the hobbit wizard to rejoin the fray.  Casting a spell of hypnosis, Maxie took the mind of the Hulking Zombie, causing him to turn on his dark master.  

Perhaps the tide of battle was finally beginning to turn.

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

The Mighty Fall

Blade met bone as the Mighty Dwarf Killgore stood alone against the forces of darkness, and hacked away at one skeletal warrior as he reduced another to nothing more than a hopping femur.  Seeing an opening, he charged in with a mighty swing of his axe which brutalized the black-robed necromancer Malareth to within an inch of his accursed life.  .  

But alas, fortune did not favor the bold this day, for though Killgore is strong and full of Dwarven Bravery, he is but singular while his enemies were a multitude.  And after the dark spells of the Necromancer, the blows of the Hulking Zombie, and the slashes of the skeletal swords, bravery alone could no longer keep the dwarf on his feet.

It would take many stiff drinks for Valiant Killgore to recover from this fight...

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

NEWSFLASH: Melissa is once again in love with one of our foes...when will she ever learn?  Drawing by Ellen.

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Bravery of the Dwarf

With Maxie trapped in suspended animation, and Melissa's burns leaving her begging for the cold embrace of death, Arf Nads grabbed the treasure and fled toward the outside world, leaving brave Killgore alone, the last defense between the Necromancer's horde and his vulnerable companions. The last beacon of hope in this dark dungeon of despair. The final pillar of strength standing between the evils of Malareth and the good and innocent peoples of the world above.

Heeding the call and hoisting his axe, Killgore boldly stands his ground--

"While I yet draw breath, none shall pass!"

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

The elven cleric Melissa, as she tries to find some inner strength for the fight to come...drawing by Ellen Lindner.  

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Tonight we fight what might be our last battle against Malareth and his zombie minions - so for perhaps the final time, here's an image of Arf Nads, Maxie, Melissa and Killgore.  Good luck tonight, folks!  Drawing by Ellen. 

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Run for it!

Recovering from their fumbled battle plan, Maxie the Wizardling thought fast.  Rather than fighting the gang of undead (and now burning) villains that faced them, she he cut to the chase and went for the real prize-- The Necromancer's black treasure chest!

Conjuring her his psychokinetic magic hands, Maxie grabbed the chest from Malareth's grasp and threw it across the burning room to himself.  Upon catching it, Arf Nads picked up the diminutive wizard, and took off out the coridoor, making good use of his much practiced ability of leaving a battle still in progress.  This time, however, the villains were hot on his heels...

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Backfire!

Upon encountering their long-sought rivals-- the dread-sorcerer Malareth of the Black Robes and his unholy minions-- the spell-weavers of the group, Melissa and Maxie, divined and executed a hasty plan.

No doubt inspired by Killgore's dwarven inventivity, Melissa sprayed her lamp-oil over the undead foes and around the entire cell, while Maxie let lose a powerful rain of fire.  

But alas, elven hands were made for embroidery and the plucking of flower petals, not for the gruesome work of warcraft, and the trap-- however well planned-- exploded in Melissa's face.

It was up to the usually unscrupulous Arf Nads to pull Melissa from the blaze, and Killgore who, in full honor of his unerringly noble nature, held no grudge from the time that he and Melissa's situations were reversed, doused her still smoldering body with cooling water to put out the flames. 

With the enemy alerted to their presence and enraged at the ruin of his experiments, and their healer mere inches from death, the heroic adventurers found themselves suddenly needing a change in strategy...

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Enter: The Necromancer

Having discovered the key to the locked vault at the bottom of the crypt, our heroes open the door to discover their quarry-- the foe who led them on this chase through the deep, slimy depths of the dungeon, through hordes of drooling monsters and creatures who thirst for the blood of men-- Malareth, the dark wizard.

Conducting experiments that blaspheme the very nature of life and death, he raises an army of undead horrors to deal with the band of adventurers who intrude upon his dark pleasures.

Both the blood of the living and the dead shall be spilled on this day.

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

Gordon the Dragon

Battered and bruised from the various dangers of the dungeon, the band of adventurers came upon a new threat-- a young fire drake, standing guard at the dungeon's exit.  Arf Nads dove for the safety of a deep well, but Killgore fearlessly approached the scaled beast, offering it a portion of his daily rations to calm it's nerves, and freed it from it's chains.  

Having befriended the creature, Killgore taught him to fetch an axe, that he may be properly armed for further adventures.  

[dungeonsdragonsndrinking]

This Slight Shall Not Stand

After reducing the goblin overseer to a puddle of blood and bones with a second mighty swing, Killgore returned to the battle between his traveling companions and the goblin underlings who dared call him a coward. 

In all their taunting bravery, the goblins had hid themselves behind a large brazier, surely realizing that Killgore's axe was sharper than their insults.  When the mighty dwarf approached, they turned the brazier over, filling the room between the heroes and themselves with a wall of fire and burning coals!

However, having experience with such ordeals in the past, Killgore was unphased, and with his dwarven inventiveness and the hem of Melissa the Elf Cleric's skirt, he quickly turned a bottle of lamp oil into a fiery bomb and launched it at the mocking cowards. 

As the goblins burned, Melissa and Maxie finished them off.  Arf Nads, apparently, had already left the gruesome scene of all this violence-- almost certainly to selflessly scout the path ahead for any hidden dangers that could threaten his friends, unconcerned with what some might say about those who leave a battlefield with enemies who's hearts are still beating.