my plan was to dip and simply not say anything to anyone but i do have beloved moots on here that i don't want to think i'm ignoring them, so:
i'm not going to be on here for at least the rest of the year. probably longer. i might not ever be back, if i'm being honest.
before this past january (or if we're being generous, before last july/august with reddit), i had taken a big fat step back from being involved with any and all fandom spaces. 6 years? i believe?
and let me tell you: getting back into fandom, and more specifically that fandom being dragon age, has made me more miserable than i can ever remember being lmfao. (and i was in the bts and one direction fandoms. those? were brutal. da fandom? literal torture.) i'm constantly stressed, constantly on the look out for yet another doxxing, and constantly begging tumblr to fix my inbox so i stop getting sent threatening asks that call me all sorts of heinous names and slurs. i have no drive to create (for a multitude of reasons) and i'm at a point in my life where, frankly, i'm too fucking busy to be keeping up with a ship blog.
i want to be happy again. i want to find the joy of real life and not have to worry that ship wars, hating ai, or enjoying a fucking video game will put me in a direct line of fire to be forced to read the most vile things i've ever had the displeasure of being sent or coming across. there is so much horror and negativity already in real life, and it's becoming so normalized to be a shitty fucking person that it's permeating fandom spaces. all of them, btw, not just the da fandom. and it's exhausting.
i've watched too many of my friends be bullied off of here, be doxxed, be sent death threats and suicide baits, and be called slurs. i've watched too many of my friends' mental healths go down the gutter because of trump apologists, right-wing rhetoric slinging losers, racist assholes, and terf cunts who have been made to feel comfortable in spaces full of lgbtq+ people. it's affecting me just the same with all the bullshit i have to deal with just to post about a ship or game certain people don't like. i'm sick of it. i'm beyond tired.
so i'm leaving. i'm going to go touch grass for as absolutely long as i need it. these mini hiatuses don't do shit. a clean break is sorely needed.
i wish i could say you can reach me elsewhere. truth be told, you can't. i respect and value my own privacy too much to start doling out other forms of contact. i won't be on discord, i won't be checking my email, i won't be on ao3 or bsky or anything else. social media really is an absolute hellscape nowadays, even the ones that lean far left, and i am just ready to get back to enjoying real life and finding peace. i'm sorry, and i love all my friends and moots dearly, but this is the only solution that makes sense to me. i hope you all do wonderfully and live peacefully, and i hope you think of me everytime you see durge. for no reason at all. smooches

















