A soft scoff left him, rolling his eyes in response to that. âNo thanks, Iâm not the type to beg.â he sarcastically murmured in response to the other offering up such a thing to him. âEspecially not something that multiple people possibly could be begging for.â Sure, He was stubborn, but he wouldnât admit that aloud in this situation, and Xzavierâs pride was large and as much as he said things like this, he thought, one dayâ in the future, someone only looking at him wouldnât be such a bad thing.
Right now, though? Â Emotions were tiring, and a bunch of work and his trust in anyone besides his brother and mother was bruised and damaged. Was it their fault? No, probably not, But he didnât know how to properly handle emotions and carried the broken shards of his past along with him instead of discarding them.
Emotions? How did people handle them? He felt like he was going to just topple over and vomit with the amount of things he felt at this time and it was overwhelming but he didnât think he could honestly open himself up like that to anyone around him; He really tried so hard to create a wall between him and everyone else and the thought of bringing this wall down was completely terrifying to him and letting anyone in would not be easy.
Instead, it was more like, A wall with misshapen measurements were there were cracks and holes in certain spots where you could peer through and see the true nature of the boy behind itâ You could hear his voice and see his movement but never get close enough to actually touch him and that was how he liked it. Safe. Protected. Because Every time He let someone in it seemed like they came with a sharp object to mame hidden behind their backs with folded hands; even those people who promised they wouldnât and Daniel was a person who made him feel even more insecure. Â
Truthfully, he wasnât quite sure as to why he felt that way, but he could only chalk it up to the fact that heâd already grown attached to him in one way or another, as well as the evident fact that the other was possibly just as complex in thoughts and actions as he was and albeit, at times, the elder was easily seen through like a book, there were other times when he simply had no freakinâ idea what the other was going to do next. That spontaneity seemed to excite him just as much as it terrified him and he was in such a weird jumble of wanting to step closer to him and then cower away.
âOkay,â he murmured softly, He was in shock because he honestly did expect the other to fight him a bit more than he did just thenâBut he didnât remember the fact that he honestly didnât get into smoking on his own accord, it was more of a peer pressure type of thing and he could understand that to be one of the more frustrating concepts of life. âWellâŠâ he trailed off, scrunching up his face and wrinkling his nose just for a quick moment and trying to gather himself up once more, a habit of his that he seemed to do repeatedly and countlessly throughout the day.
"You can barely feed yourself, You should be spending that money on food instead of sticks of cancer.â he murmured quietly, attempting a reprimanding tone before huffing quietly. "Iâll make you something to eat again, like old times, because you threw that away so effortlessly after I told you too.â Something like a âGood Job, Daniel!?â, 'Iâm Proud of you, Daniel!?â Why couldnât he simply say things like that? He honestly, wanted to say that, but instead, he had mostly just scolded him. This was why people were so afraid of him, wasnât it? He quietly sighed with exasperation to himself before shaking his own head to his own dumb actionsâ His words never seemed to come out the way he wanted. A fool, He was a fool.
Xavâs eyes narrowed as he glared from the corner of his eye when he saw the otherâs phone raise and he could only grin to himself in triumph when the other seemed to falter. For some reason, The two always seemed to run into each other and for some other reason, Danny always seemed to be so persistent on picking on himâ And donât get him wrong, He loved persistence⊠It was just a crazy idea that the other hadnât given up on his attempts yet, after what seemed to be months of doing so, countless times upon countless times and somehow he couldnât help but feel relaxed by that.
That he, Jinsoo, could be difficult, but the other didnât grow tired of him and how grumpy he could be, despite it being more of a reflex in response. Another part of him told himself not to get too comfortable, though, They always left, They always gave up on him in the end just as he would begin to open up; The only few people who hadnât done so was his childhood friend a slim number of a few others.
Arms crossing as he smugly leant back against the railing, Honestly, that was his intentionâ to show him his puppy, but now that the other had asked him, he wanted to be difficult just for the fact of doing it. âI dunno, Youâre all stinky and smell like smoke.â he hummed, tilting his head to one side in a thoughtful fashion as if he was really contemplating on it. âHmm ⊠How about,â he slowly dragged along, now thinking of something he could ask the other now since it had been a while since they had talked and he was sure there had been things that he missed in his absence.
"I guess I could let you see herâ But you have to walk her with me and tell me about all the things Iâve missed while I was gone.â he offered before pushing his backside against the wall to propel himself upright once more. "Maybe Iâll tell you about things too, Youâll probably end up meeting my brother sometime soon as well, andââ he snorted softly at the thought. âThat should be pretty interesting too.â
He raised a brow, laughing to himself at the others comment; His face wrinkling up alongside the rumbles of the laugh. âI never said you were one to beg, I merely asked if you were being selfish. And for the record,â He paused, brushing his sliver locks out of his eyes. âNo one is begging for me, and I doubt they ever will.â He scoffed at the thought, someone possibly begging for Daniel was a joke to him, he knew how he was, and he knew he was a âplayerâ. Though it was all an act he did it for the reason of pushing people away.
He didnât really like putting that act up in front of the smaller. Itâs like his mind broke all the walls and he could be a bit more like himself for once. He could relax and he felt comfortable even though he knew almost nothing about him. But it felt like he had known him for years, he felt homey with him. Daniel told himself not to get clingy and attached the moment he laid eyes on him, but did he stop himself? No, no he didnât.
Daniel was a persistent type of person; he never gave up no matter how hard the task was at hand, it even applied when interacting with Xzavier. He was trying with all his might to wedge somewhere into his life, a friend, an acquaintance even, he just knew he wanted to be around the pink haired boy as often as he could. He was like a stray dog that Xzavier just so happened to feed on the street and now he continued to stick around no matter how hard he tried to shoo the mutt away.
As hard as Daniel had been trying to stop smoking, he just couldnât seem to stop completely. Maybe it was the other disappearing on him for a while; them not talking after Xzavier returned to his own apartment, it was like it triggered him back into the bad habit because he had no help to stop anymore. But he was back now, that meant more help for him right? He could finally get more serious about making the big step to just not even think about smoking anymore. He knew the other could help him with that.
âWell, with your help of course, I can start doing that. Spending my money on the things I need rather than what my body wants and craves.â He chuckled at the others behavior, he always found his actions and the way he worded things cute. It almost reminded him of himself, the way he used to be, how he was currently. It was almost like Daniel could see right through the other, he knew he meant no harm with the way he worded things or acted.
He found Xzavier so endearing, so entrancing, he wanted to know him more, he wanted to know everything about him. He wouldnât stop trying no matter how harsh the other got with him. He could hit and kick Daniel as many times as he wanted, just as long as he could get close, to break the walls one by one and become something other than an annoying neighbor to the other. If you asked Daniel if he cared for the boy, he would deny it, but there was no denying the fact he did.
Maybe his sisterâs suspicions were a bit true; maybe he did like him a little. But he would deny it every day, all day long. He didnât want the walls he built up breaking, though it was clear it was cracking. It was a small crack, maybe a tiny hole at most that he could look through and wish for, but he wouldnât break that wall any more than it already was, he was too scared for that, more than anything he just wanted to have a friend. Someone he could truly be himself around. Xzavier fit exactly what his mind and heart wanted.
Shaking off his thoughts he continued giving a goofy smile over the mention of a puppy. More than anything he wanted to see it, he wanted to pet it and attack it with affection. Daniel had always wanted a dog, but he was currently too poor for that. âI can go home and change, Iâll dump a whole bottle of perfume on me I donât care, I just want to see your puppy.â His voice was full of anticipation and excitement. He was bouncing back and forth on his feet, a pout carefully plump on his lips, with eyes that almost screamed out that he was practically begging for this.
âIâm okay with this, Iâll tell you everything you want to hear, Iâll walk her with you!â His excitement was roaring through his voice, he was too excited over a small puppy. He would have done anything to get his hands on Xzavierâs dog. âOh, yes, please do tell be about things, I want to know more things about you.â He trailed off with his words, still slightly lost in the thoughts about the puppy, though he did want to know as much as he could about the shorter male. âOh, your brother, Iâd love to meet him, if he is anything like you, it will be super interesting.â
