Ask The Creator

The Offical Unoffial Blog of the Creator and the Creator Productions

[homunculus-argument]

One big element of millenial adulthood is that when people hear the news that someone actually got a solid job in the field they got a degree in, people respond the same way as folks a generation ago used to respond to the news of someone having a baby after trying for years. Genuinely awed "holy shit no way, that's amazing, congratulations!" because that's some incredible, life-changing shit.

Nobody knows how you respond to the news of someone you know having a long-wanted baby, because nobody in their right mind is having kids on purpose.

[homunculus-argument]

I feel weird for pre-emptively clarifying this but I also kind of feel like I should: whenever I call random peoples' kids goblins or gremlins, it's

100% intended as affectionate. To be gremlin is to be human. Everyone goes into goblin mode sometimes and most kids are simply in it 24/7 and that's awesome.

By no means a racist thing. Kids of every single colour, creed and cultural background are equally goblin. I've called more white kids goblins than you've ever seen.

[thetetra]

I used to call kids "little monkeys" till I said it and a POC couple were unhappy with me but understanding and informative.

So I'm going to adopt this because* loved calling kids little monkeys... especially because they just ARE, and that episode left a hole in my heart that I feel goblin child might fill.

[homunculus-argument]

I remember reading about an incident where a white woman who had a mixed baby with a black father had to stop affectionally calling their son "little monkey" because she, also, had never considered how that must look to an outsider, until her kid had climbed up a tree and refused to come down.

So now she was just standing in the street, a white woman yelling "get down from there you little monkey" to a black child sitting in a tree.

[homunculus-argument]

It's wild coming from a household where people would go "well we're not going to cancel everything and ruin everybody's day just because you're feeling uncomfy" when all you wanted was to be allowed to go lie down for a minute because you're sick, to living around people who'll go "okay let's wrap shit up and go home, you're sick" when you were still pretty sure you can manage if you just go lie down.

Also did y'all know that playing up your symptoms for pity and attention is a completely different thing from just not going out of your way to hide your symptoms. Like apparently those are two different subjects. It's not manipulative to be visibly unwell when you're visibly unwell.

[homunculus-argument]

Does it count as missing someone if you didn't really even know someone that well, but now wish that you could have?

[wickedwormwood]

Feeling this about a dead person...

[homunculus-argument]

My boyfriend's grandpa was a cool guy. He always had some sort of a story about everything. He'd never run out of things to talk about but he ran out of time to tell them. I never knew that he used to paint before after his death when I first found out that the gorgeous painting in the writing room in their home was something he painted as a teenager.

[homunculus-argument]

Day 145/365 of listing something good I saw today:

One of our neighbours has a dog with the smallest, tightest-folding ears I've ever seen, that touch each other on top of her(?) head, giving the impression of wearing a hat, like a newsboy cap.

like sweetie why are you shaped like that.

[homunculus-argument]

Day 204/365 of listing something good I saw today:

Saw this same dog today, this time getting a better look up close. Turns out that the ears are even smaller and more tight-folding than I had previously been able to comprehend. They're just little triangular flaps covering the ear holes. They're not cropped, just very minimalist.

[homunculus-argument]

Wednesday the 15th. What an excellent day. Middle of the week, middle of the month. Truly, we are in the middle of things.

[homunculus-argument]

your zucchini post sent me back over a decade ago to when i visited finland for the first time and stayed at my partners parents house. their garden was full of the most humungous zucchini i'd ever laid eyes on. my partner came up to me with this giant green sponge in her arms and said "look! it's the size of my dick!"; i remember distinctly being very impressed in that moment. however, what i did not know at the time was that having this bountiful harvest of zucchini meant that we would be eating nothing but zucchini based dishes for the next 7 weeks because there was no space to store it (why no storage, that's a whole other story). after about a week, everyone else in the family left to go to the lake for the rest of the summer and so it was up to my partner and i to eat zucchini day in, day out. it started out novel and fun really: zucchini on toast, stuffed zucchini with meat and mushrooms, zucchini casserole, zucchini and cheese soup! but as time went on, it got weirder and weirder, zucchini with jam on it, then the zucchini itself became marmalade, zucchini baked into a cake, zucchini stuffed with zucchini, zucchini bread, zucchini ice cream, and still more and more zucchini still needed to be consumed before they overippened and spoiled. and non of the neighbours wanted any of it because they too had too much zucchini of their own. needless to say, it was a very visceral experience that affected me in relation to zucchinis for many years afterwards. anyway, i hope the ones you got from your mother-in-law are tasty and you make something delicious with them <3

That's the funny part: I know this. We've been through this before.

Nobody in my boyfriend's family is particularly willing to eat zucchini. They are sick of it to the point of years of build-up. She playfully complains about how the youngest one won't try some of her baked goods out of an alledged fear that there might be zucchini hidden in there. And yet, she keeps planting zucchini. She's delighted to be able to hand them over to me. I am not yet sick of zucchini so I don't mind it just yet.

She also fucking loves foraging for mushrooms, and gets territorial over good spots just like any other finn would. As soon as they're poking out of the ground at the end of the summer she's grabbing the dogs and her daughter and is out of the house getting them, ticks bears and tourists be damned. She can't eat them herself due to allergies, and half of the family can't digest them either, and the other half just doesn't like the texture. She gives them off to friends and family and is delighted to be able to hand them over to me.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I'm not complaining. This is the opposite of a problem. Nonetheless I am baffled by it. Rain or shine, in sickness and in health, no matter how inconvenient it would be, she keeps doing this. Purely for the love of the game.

[sinsinewave]

ok is zucchini-related issues like a common theme in Finland, because it was slightly one in my family too; i fucking hate zucchini, my mother seemingly loves it, and like, she kept fucking making foods with zucchini at least she had enough sense to not have the fucking zucchini as like a load-bearing component so i could just avoid eating it but still

[homunculus-argument]

My favourite way of zucchini consumption is lemon-zucchini jam on pancakes. I just bought butter and eggs to bake a cake and also make courgette balls with the zucchini I just got. This is the level of get-rid-of-all-this-zucchini we are working on.

[the-asistants-reblogs]

This is fascinating! USAmarican here, we occasionally get massive bumper crops of zucchini (Midwest US) when the weather is cooler, and we largely just make them into casseroles. I didn’t know you could put them into bread or make marmalade with them! Next bumper crop I’ll have to put this new knowledge to use!

[homunculus-argument]

I have just made (or to be more exact, am currently making) an unreasonable amount of zucchini chocolate cake. The amount is unreasonable because first of all there is no such thing as a reasonable amount of zucchini in a chocolate cake, and second of all the recipe said 5 decilitres of grated zucchini, and the chunk I cut off the giant zucc made 8 decilitres of it. So I decided to just adjust the whole recipe to be 1,6 times bigger. It'll be in the oven for about an hour yet and until then we'll have no idea how badly I fucked up.

[cugzarui]

why would you say five decilitres instead of half a liter

[homunculus-argument]

Because litres wouold be an unhinged way to measure things like flour and sugar and things??

[homunculus-argument]

based on the stories, zucchini sounds like some brain parasite relying on humans to reproduce

It's like the ant brain parasite that makes them sit on top of grass to get eaten by cows, and whatever it is that makes cave divers want to crawl into underwater cracks in the earth.

[homunculus-argument]

Suomen metsissä kasvavat mustikat on muuten englanniksi bilberry.

Jep.

[homunculus-argument]

Day 199/365 of listing something good I saw today:

I got added to my friends' brand new book club group chat, where we can yap about whatever we're reading without annoying the main group chat.

[homunculus-argument]

Day 200/365 of listing something good I saw today:

A gift from my mother-in-law: a homegrown zucchini the size of my dick.

[homunculus-argument]

Having a whole living room wall full of decorative crosses and crucifixes in your house is the spiritual equivalent of consistently taking antibiotics "just in case" and washing your hands with bleach. Not only are you not making anything better for yourself, I'm pretty sure that you're making things way, way worse for everyone.

[thetetra]

Im just imagining a demon building up a holy resistance stat till they can slip past a crucifix purchased at target and slapped on the wall then eventually moving on to one that was actually blessed by a priest and starting the stat grinding all over again.

[homunculus-argument]

They've developed an immunity to christianity, you gotta find a shinto priest to cleanse your home to make them leave.

[homunculus-argument]

Tomorrow I shall absolutely fuck up my hair. Haven't done that in a while. It's growing in too neat and tidy for my tastes.

[homunculus-argument]

Having a whole living room wall full of decorative crosses and crucifixes in your house is the spiritual equivalent of consistently taking antibiotics "just in case" and washing your hands with bleach. Not only are you not making anything better for yourself, I'm pretty sure that you're making things way, way worse for everyone.

[blurbofparadise]

Religious OCD is a hell of a thing, it makes ya afraid of yourself and other people on every level, levels most people cant even imagine, and there is no escape, no relief, no way to feel okay, only sinking and scraping deeper and deeper and deeper into the same delusion that is eating you alive.

[homunculus-argument]

Well, washing your hands with bleach due to OCD is not good for you either.

[homunculus-argument]

Craving more berries while my legs are still tired from getting berries yesterday. I'm unsure whether there's any decent berry spots within walking distance, and also I'm out of breadcrumbs again as well. Going to get some from the grocery on bike would be an option, but it's summer out there and I don't want to get scorched and sweaty.

>:C

[danieyells]

At first it didn't occur to me that the breadcrumbs were for, y'know, breading food, and instead thought you were using the breadcrumbs to leave yourself a trail back home when you went into the woods to search for berries

I hope it cools down a bit before the store closes and you can rest up more in the meantime, then grab breadcrumbs and berries when it's a bit more comfortable outside!

[homunculus-argument]

Odds are that my quest for more berry mush will have to wait for tomorrow. I'm trying to pace myself with getting my strength back, and I guess today is rest day.

[homunculus-argument]

Autism is some monkey's paw sort of shit, you've got the power to give people the most devastating rip-your-scalp-off level insults that will haunt them for life, with a completely straight face, but the catch is that you don't do it on purpose and also have no idea that you're doing it at all before people get mad at you for no apparent reason again.

[homunculus-argument]

Out of money, energy, snacks, breadcrumbs, my mcfucking testosterone, and brain processing. Going to bed at 7:40 pm. Eugh.