“Heh, Angel mud wrestlin’? Would love tah see that..”

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@dxsty-knxckles
“Heh, Angel mud wrestlin’? Would love tah see that..”
Send "Does it hurt?" for My Muse's reaction to Your Muse tending to a wound on their body
Make Your Muse As Tea
Tagged by: @wiceschnee
Tagging: Anyone who wants too
~KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK~
Slowly answers the door, “….What…”
“I think you recognize me..”
“…No…”
“Maybe you’ve seen me in one of those, Jennifer Guest movies; ‘Best-in-show, Waiting for Karren, A Mighty Win….No?”
“..NO!”
“Okay, well I’m a Stand Up Comedian. Been on Letterman, Leno, Conan dozens of times…Really everyone..”
“Mhhhhhh..”
“Okay well how about the Nutty Bridesmaid movies, that may be more your speed. ‘The Lumps’?”
“Oh yeah yeah, that one where Martin Lawrence…Uh..Martin, dressin up like an old woman..”
“—BUT HE’S A COP! HE’S NOT AN OLD WOMAN, HE’S A COP!”
—8 Hours Later—
“His partner gets shot, yah know..And then they rip his mask off..”
“………..”
“..And then they’re like..uh, Yah-Y’er not an old woman…Y’ER MARTIN!”
“Big Mammi. Or uh…Big Granny—Uh or somethin’…Uh Big Granny..2? Or uh..Maybe this is a sequel….So uh, were yah in that?”
“No-BUT, very close. I—”
“Yah were the judge in the Gymnastics contest right? I KNEW THAT!”
“…No…”
“Ahh no..That chick was a Faunus..”
“Well, close enough…Pretty Lady? Vaceo Legal. 20 Things I hate about you? Doing anything for you?”
“……Yah sellin’ Make-up?”
“Well you know what, I admire a woman like you, because yes! Let’s cut to the chase, I AM the celebrity Spokeswoman for a line of artificial make-up ANNNND I occasionally sell make-up myself on the weekend because I have—Hah hah hah…A gambling addiction that is all consuming!”
“Yah want a beer?”
“No thank you—”
“How about some Lo-Mien Noodles, come on in!”
“—Was ‘bout tah toss these..” Sniff Sniff...”They reek..”
“Yes, clearly…Well the point is, you qualify for a free, 7 day trail of the Jessie Tombrok Make-Up system for women..”
‘Dude if it’s so good, then why ain’t yah usin’ it?”
“WE ONLY HAVE ONE! AND THE GODS TOLD US TO BRING IT TO YOOOU!” She would hand Eva a flyer..
“Free Make-up…….Made outta painted and corrugated sheet metal shavin’s…”
“Come on…What’s the catch?”
“If I didn’t fully believe in this product, then WHY ELSE would I spend my weekends, selling and INSTALLING the Jessie Tombrok Make-Up Sytem for women?!”
“Well ‘cause yah said yah got a bad gamblin’ problem..”
“I KNOW I DO! I KNOW I HAVE A PROBLEM!”
“And that’s half the battle! ADMITTING IT! It’s like I just become some other person for weeks! IT TAKES CONTROL!’
“And you know what? I’m not ashamed to admit it!……Okay I’m a little ashamed…Alright, I’m mortified! But the point is I believe in this product and my ability to make money off of it…TRY SOME ON!”
“I thought yah said, yah only have ONE..”
“Well….Now we have many!”
“Euuhg….This stuff is really slick…”
“It’s…’Lanolin….Frommmm…..Someone else’s skin….Someone who returned it..”
“Their loss…HAHAHAHA!”
“Here! Step into this simulator..”
“Uh..Well I don’ see no simula–”
“THIS VAN!”
wiceschnee:
“It’s not that I can’t, it’s that I won’t. I was raised to adhere to a strict code of morals and I won’t break that because someone wants me to swear. I said the f-word once and Winter yelled at me. Do you know how guilty that made me feel? So, so, utterly guilty… There’s nothing like a Winter disappointment gaze to make you know just how bad what you did was.”
“I appreciate you trying to break me out of my shell but I just don’t want to. I’m surrounded by people who swear all the time, so sometimes it tries to slip out, but I tend to catch it now. I just don’t want to swear.”
“The only person who’s judgmental gaze I fear is my mother’s, an’ for a whole other reason! I seriously doubt this Winter could ever do such tah me.” Eva mumbles. Eva restrained the urge to roll her eyes, it seemed everyone now and days made her want to do it, a bad habit really but she couldn’t help it. “Makin’ someone feel guilty for sayin’ a word seems a little harsh. You should do the same to her one day. Give show her how it feels.”
“Eh don’ worry Angel, yah will one day. One day yah just won’t care what anyone else thinks, an’ then yah win against life.” Eva gave a chuckle and a light swat to Weiss’ shoulder in a friendly way. “Hey come on, I’ll treat yah tah some pie! I hear there’s a little dinner up the road that makes all kinds!”
@wiceschnee
“Who has time tah be ladylike? Yah got tah much of that Upperclass, hoytee toytee fancy livin’ in y’er life. Cut loose for once Angel. Nobody’s gonna care. I say fuck on a daily basis an’ flip someone the bird.”
She gives Weiss a little nudge with her elbow. “Go on, flip the bird at someone. I’ll keep a look out for yah if that helps yah! Just look at the next person who walks past yah, tell ‘em they got cabbage in their Muff, an’ flip ‘em the bird..”
“Yah can do whatever yah want, so long as yah do it in y’er own home. Where I can’t see it...Once it starts hittin’ the streets, then I make it my fuckin’ business..”
Eva you have an amazing car!
Eva just stands there with pouting look on her face, her eyes slowly cut to the parking lot, the Buick sat there gloating at her.
She sucked in some air and gave the car a dirty look, before throwing her hand up and flipping it off.
“Shut up! I hate yah! Y’er such an eyesore!” She only partly meant it. The Buick was an eyesore yes, bit it was a car, and it was all she had to drive at the moment..
Doesn’t swear buuuuut...
---Flips the Bird
Weiss
“I’ve told you this before, Eva. I’ve never even heard of a car before I met you. So no, believe it or not, I’ve never seen need to get a license for a vehicle I’d never heard of. Plus I grew up with a personal chauffer, so I never saw fit to get a license for anything. I just sat in my jet and flew around, stuffing my face with blueberry frozen yogurt when I had any free time. Which was… Rare.”
She folded her arms in her lap, and stared forward through the windshield.
“No, I’ve grown up with a weird detachment from the lower classes, and it really doesn’t shy away from punching me in the face when it can. And… As a fantastic result, I have a distaste for a brother I should love, an emotional attachment to a mother that was hardly there, and a father I wish I could… You know what? He’s behind bars, that’s… Enough. I guess.” A rub of her right wrist with her left hand. “I didn’t grow up with an awe-inspiring childhood. It was always ‘learn this talaent. Now perfect it. Have you perfected it? Okay, now learn this talent.’ It was never ‘what do you want, Weiss?’.”
A deep sigh.
“Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to… Open up like that.”
Eva listened to Weiss as she drove down Hamilton road. Heading out into the ‘Burg’. She stopped for a light and glanced to the side as Weiss explained her upbringing. It didn’t sound too pleasant, and did seem very detached from the rest of life. Seemed like Weiss missed out on a lot of experiences. A car honked behind Eva and she put a hand out the window, throwing the middle finger up at the diver behind them before taking off on a green light and turning onto her old Street.
“Nah it’s okay, Angel. It’s only fair. I mean I am takin’ yah tah me my family an’ have dinner with us. Though I am sorry tah hear all that. But at least there is a silver lining tah it all, an’ that’s the fact that y’er still young. There’s still plenty of time tah go do what YAH want tah do.” The car rumbled along down the road, and Bert Reynolds’ head continued to bobble along, as if he were nodding and agreeing, that cartoony smile charming for a bobble-head.
“I got it, how about after dinner, we go do whatever yah want tah do? Sound like fun? Anythin’ yah want tah try or go experience..”
Weiss
She hesitantly put her hand on the car, like she expected it to fall to pieces if she was too hard. Or even reasonably hard, like regular car use. Well, for the other car she’d used. Grabbing the handle, she delicately pulled it open, and sat in it, quickly clicking the belt over herself before closing the door, and looking around at the interior, reaching over and giving the bobblehead a flick. Now that was something she was familiar with.
“Your grandma’s huh? You sure you’re not just covering for your horrible taste in cars?” She took another gaze around the interior before continuing. “Why does your grandmother own a car? That’s not a word you typically associate with… Y’know, ownership of something so expensive.”
Eva got into the divers side and buckled in, huffing as she had to adjust the seat again, just to make it easier to see over the hood. There was a roll of her blue eyes and she glanced to Weiss, before staring the engine. The Buick roared to life and a bunch of people stopped and stared, mouths agape. A few men heard saying “Nice!” from the open window.
“It was my uncle Sandor’s car. He gave it to my Grandma when he checked into the retirement home. Only thing is, Grandma had her licence revoked.” Eva stepped on the gas and the behemoth car rumbled down the road.
Eva always recalled her Father being very found of the Buick. He said it had plenty of cojones, and Eva had to admit he was right. The Buick was a monster that put all other cars to shame. “I’m surprised yah act this way around cars. Yah never driven one before? Do yah even have a driver’s licence, Angel?”
ice-cream-nutshell:
“I—I mean. Uh. Oh damnit all! Just stay out of my way!” And Neo storms off in heated huff.
“Oh yeah! W-Well! Yah best stay outta my way too, eh! Ah’m watchin’ yah!”
And Eva would give Neo a Downtown Atlasian Finger Gesture. Though a defeated gesture all together as Neo was already walking away.
KEEP THE LANGUAGE RATED PG
“Hey hey hey! Usin’ fowl language is the God Given right of every Downtown Atlasian, same as givin’ the finger tah someone on the road, Snacky Cakes! Yah mind? Ah’m workin’ here!”
ice-cream-nutshell:
“FUCK ME RIGHT NOW!!”
“Wha-....What?”
ice-cream-nutshell:
“WHORE!”
“MIDGET!!”
ice-cream-nutshell:
“TWERP?! YOU WANT TO BRING HEIGHT INTO THIS, DARLING? YOU MUST HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE FROM ALL THE CEILING FANS YOU’VE WALKED INTO!”
“BITCH!”
“SKANK!”
ice-cream-nutshell:
“Hah! And It seems all those doughnuts have gone to your car’s LEAD ASS! but then they say the diver normally mimics the car.”
“EXCUSE ME?! IT’S NOT LEAD! IT’S STEEL AN’ IT CAN CRUSH YAH LIKE A BUG!”
“I’d sit on yah, with these BUNS OF STEEL! But it looks like someone beat me tah it already, TWERP! I guess diver mimicking car wasn’t lie, since only a shrimp would fit a compact..Like that!”