Better Off Dead

Corpse

[dyingissurviving]

U tell me they aren’t my friends and I shouldn’t talk to them. But they were there when you told me I was worthless and I didn’t want to live anymore.

[dyingissurviving]

Anyone wanna take me to a techno show? 🥺

[dyingissurviving]

If anyone knows how to break up with someone you’ve been madly in love with for a year, broke up with your ex of 1.5 years whom you shared a very healthy relationship with to be with them, but somehow you found yourself in a very abusive relationship with, lmk

[dyingissurviving]

I find it funny how someone, a complete stranger from the internet claiming to be an “advocate” for lesbians will try and tell me that bc I sometimes hook up with men makes me bisexual. I do not love these men, I do not want to be with these men, I do not lust or see my destiny with these men. Sex is sex, black and white. I love women solely and the fact that an advocate wants to try and label me as something I’m not is the most non inclusive thing I’ve ever seen.

[dyingissurviving]

Again and again we have the same conversation.

The same conversation that turns into a fight.

The same fight that turns physical.

Physical that turns mental.

Then my mentality is tainted.

Wanting to take my life because my emotions and feelings for you are greater than the value of my existence.

You ask me why do I stay if I’m miserable.

I stay because I’d rather be miserable with you than face the fact that I don’t care about my being.

I stay because I hope that one day we will be okay.

Knowing deep down that the bruises and scars you gifted me will be the only thing I have left of you when you leave.

[dyingissurviving]

Me & my gf got a bf around a month ago & I’ve literally never had an actual bf & I think I rly like him & it’s weird

[dyingissurviving]

I just want things to get better ❤️‍🩹

[dyingissurviving]

Todays Christmas, well atleast that’s what is says on my calendar

Living alone makes the days blend together and when holidays come they go without me even noticing

Some may call it sad but I call it the result of choosing a life that brings some meaning to my existence

I love those who share the same physical traits as myself and those who raised me see it as shameful

A shame that I chose this way of living. When in actuality I’ve tried to be someone I’m not. Tried so hard that I began to lose a sense of who I was. What I liked, my beliefs and the definition of happiness.

So now I sit alone in my room during a time I’m supposed to be at my happiness. A time where those who claim to adore you purchase inanimate objects to let you know they feel that way. All I see is a day of unwanted obligations and unwanted misery for those who cannot oblige.

[dyingissurviving]

I wrote this sitting in my car in 20 degree weather outside of the house of the one i love in a hoodie and sweats thinking about all of my regrets

I’m gunna kill myself in front of my girlfriends house cause even though we aren’t together I want to be close to her when I pass

I take these drugs to make me feel alive cause I know if I don’t the death I keep inside will make it’s way out and consume me into the nothing I always wanted to be

I live in the moment bc I know moments will pass and all I’ll have is my memories to keep me alive, to help me survive

Everyday that passes by is a blessing; not for me but for those who care about me or atleast think they do. bc without the guilt of knowing I took the life of my mothers child is the only thing keeping me alive

At an old age i began to not hate my appearance I began to be proud of what my looks had to offer but all my father saw was a whore

A woman who seeks the attention of others

Now I know I’m not the person I look at in the mirror that person doesn’t exist. That reflection is just a hollow corpse waiting to be put to rest

Maybe god will do it for me and it won’t be my fault. Maybe he’ll make it easier for my mother to bear. Maybe he will help her survive a death that isn’t hers, maybe he’ll hear my prayers and cry’s and guide my demise to something she can live with. Maybe he won’t.

Maybe he’ll let me suffer an unbearable existence so others can be satisfied with their lives. Bc others happiness is more valuable than mine and by the time I learn to be okay with myself they won’t matter anymore cause they’ll be gone. Than I can finally be free.

We’ll see

[dyingissurviving]

October will never end 😈

[wishing-for-deathx]

Ever been so sad and broken that you can’t move. So you just sit there, frozen, paralyzed by your pain and suffer. Because that’s all you can do.

[dyingissurviving]

If someone killed me rn, that would b okay

[dyingissurviving]

[dyingissurviving]

I rly hope I starve to death

[dyingissurviving]

y’all follow me on twitter & i’ll follow back, my feed is dry asf -> imxtrying

[dyingissurviving]

[dyingissurviving]