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the duality of phan

As a queer phannie for 10 years at this point, hearing Phil talk about how Shane and Ilya still weren’t safe to be affectionate in the empty stairwell of Shane’s own building because someone could hack into the cctv footage made me actually feel physically ill bc oh my god

pseudophan

I refuse to believe them acting coy about PINOF bc Dan asked for the raw footage of PINOF 1 right after they filmed it... there's NO way Something(tm) didn't happen and that these guys don't still have the footage to remind them

i don't personally think they were straight up fucking, but i will say that despite the titles of this podcast ep being 'did we kiss/make out during pinof' (to keep that monetisation lmao) every time they address this conspiracy, which is far too often for my comfort please give it a rest, they specifically talk about phannies thinking they were having sex, not kissing. and i just think that's funny because despite yes obviously there have been plenty of fics about them fucking after the tackle, the majority of actual theories about that video (that their smudged noses and the pillows in the background were being used as evidence for) were just that they were making out. and i find it very funny that they keep doing the absolute most to make fun of us for a conspiracy that really was not nearly as prevalent as the much less unhinged one they seem to be avoiding

it's giving telling your parents you crashed the car so they won't be mad at you for breaking a vase, is all i'm saying

soulmatesclub

this is more married than actually being legally married could ever be

yall-it-me

i love dan and phil because they're more than boyfriends but also they haven't labelled it and they're in a situationship. how dare the builders call them boyfriends have they not earned partner status. they share a bed but have separate bedrooms. if they go too far apart the universe would rip in half but the best quality time is when they're gaming in separate areas of the house. propose on hard launch and you will be hit with the phan curse of staying together forever in marriage. no they're not married. they are a ranch metaphor and two 4,000-year-old tortoises and put on this earth to be together. no they would not share a toothbrush that's disgusting. but yes, they are like actual soulmates.

blossomedsloth

No but seriously imagine it:

You’re seeing fall out boy on a concert. Everyone is having a great time. Fall out boy seem a little excited. “We have a surprise for you guys.” Partick says. All of a sudden P!ATD come out and start singing “this is gospel.” When Brendon gets to the chorus, someone else starts singing… “When I was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band.” Lights flash everywhere, and you see FOB singing “this is gospel” along with P!ATD, while MCR is singing “Black parade”. Everyone in the crowd is going wild and crying. Then if things couldn’t get any better, Dan and Phil walk onto stage and kiss, holding the gay flag.

pseudophan

lore update for the general tumblr public: dan and phil just revealed that they asked when we were young fest if they could actually genuinely recreate this in between sets when fall out boy and my chem were there last year, but they asked too late and they couldn’t make it happen in time. they really did try though. yaoi warriors until the very end

pseudophan

alright. we saw that

pseudophan

dan and phil's definition of archaeology for those asking!

although can i just say, i think people need to focus more on the part where they say if it's already been talked about it's fine and less on the "if you've got a tingly feeling this might be wrong it usually is".. because, with all the love in my heart, half of you guys think breathing too loudly means you're a bad person. dan and phil's belief in your ability to judge what's too far and what isn't does not reflect reality i'm so sorry.

tl;dr if it's shit that's already out there it's for the most part literally fine, digging through their old tweets is whatever like been there done that, but don't go snooping into their friends' shit because they did not ask for that. and, i'd say beyond what they shared in the bed video, leave shit like the vday video that was never meant to be public in the first place alone

pseudophan

i've gotten so many anons in the past half decade or so asking why phil "put up with" dan's pretending-to-be-single era posting and talking about how he's totally definitely fucking tons of random men and it's like. guys blatantly flirt with dan all the damn time and his ass doesn't even fucking notice. phil's stood there mentally taking notes so he can explain to him in detail later what just happened, meanwhile dan's just like 👍 nice enough guy i guess 👍 and the thing is as much as i would love to make fun of dan for being oblivious i have a really hard time thinking he genuinely can't grasp when someone's flirting with him. he sure as hell notices when people are hitting on phil! but it's like. it just doesn't matter. dan's not clocking when guys are flirting with him because what the fuck is the difference to him, he could not be any less interested. it's hard to notice the way a guy is looking at you when you're constantly glancing over at your boyfriend, you know what i mean

so while i'm sure still not being open about their relationship and dan's new branding being I'm Single And Ready To Mingle perhaps wasn't phil's favourite era, there's a limit to how upset he could manage to get i think. what was he gonna do, feel threatened? please. as far as he's concerned dan wouldn't be able to find anyone new even if he actively tried to

pseudophan

love the lack of anyone mentioning the whole builders saga lol, but I need to hear more about their covid era, I think any other couple in their specific situation would've broken up and it's only bc they spent the last 10 years pre-gaming with "voluntary quarantine" that they got through it

it really is some cruel irony from the universe to drop a pandemic just as dan and phil are in house building purgatory, dan's decided fuck danandphil forever and phil's supportive but like not really on board with that idea, and then they have to move out of their main flat and have to live among one million boxes in the shitty filming one, barely allowed to even leave the house, and forced to sleep in the AMAZINGPHIL BEDROOM SETTTT 😭 the mental image of them sleeping in there mad as hell is frying me so bad. like fuck no wonder they were about to kill each other

but yeah i think they got through it because they had to, mostly. and then dan fucked off on tour and they decided hey maybe living inside each other's skin wasn't so bad after all (it was but they're not right in the head)

foxykindofstand

phil wants an edited reel of people looking at him and thinking he’s hot when he gets to the afterlife. Sir type in heart eyes howell compilation into google dot com

lizardsmp3

AWESOME. CRYINGHFJHJHHFJF

cardsagainstdnp

i'm rewatching the wad q&a from february 2024 and someone commented that dan should have a mullet and dan said that he feels like having a mullet is like having a podcast (outdated). fast forward to november 2025 and he has both a mullet AND a podcast. live your truth girlie

ahappydnp

hi! love your blog - i'm getting back into these two after a couple of years and your phistorian work has been a big help.

i've been working on a little site that lets you search thru the transcripts on dnp's channels and liveshows, which i hope can be useful to people with quick questions!

unfortunately i... don't have an online presence and am generally happy being as anon as possible lskdjf so i also wanted to ask if you knew where else i might be able to post this as a resource/for general reach?

https://phanscripts.anvil.app

(x)

HOLY SHIT DUDE this is so cool and definitely useful!!! seriously well done!!!!! definitely can share this around thank you <333

#literally so cool!!!#ref #for later #useful #(i have no idea what tag i use lol)