i only think about sex and death

can i still get into heaven if i kill myself?

[lmte]

⚔️

[amyjadew]

[alexander]

Me, talking to a coworker: I randomly know a lot about the Interstate Highway system

Coworker: Haha of course you do, so anyways-

Me, cutting her off: Did you know that many interstate highways were designed to be able to land a military aircraft in the case of an emergency

[blacklambtat2]

rotten to the core

kadiesnart

[untrustyou]

[dyssymulacja]

Me: *pouring fabric softener*

Brain: drink

Me: ??? no???

Brain: smell nice. drink

[nocte-in-purgatorio]

[winterfellis]

[paprika]

 all the time

[glassbonespaperskin]

[screenshotsofdespair]

[y-o-u-t-h-s]

[dyssymulacja]

*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life

*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child

*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is

*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone

*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing

*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents

*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me

*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

[chrystelle-deactivated20181001]

my mom is really that bitch and i’m that bitch jr

[pracownia-dobrych-mysli]

Nie bez powodu się mówi, że dzisiaj jednym z najszczerszych komplementów jest niewyjmowanie komórki z kieszeni podczas spotkania.

(via pracownia-dobrych-mysli)

[latenights]

lonely

[frammentidillusioni-deactivated]