pserial psych.

a little nymphomania. a lot of psychopathia.

[dysturbimania]

find someone who won't play about you, won't let anyone else try you, and protects you fiercely as if it were their own honor on the line.

...and if you can't find that person, be that person.

[dysturbimania]

i have no ease in any aspect of my life right now

and that's enough to send anyone spiraling over the edge

but to still, in the face of some of the worst adversity i've ever encountered alone and more weight upon my shoulders than a bodybuilder could hold, be met with more stress and irritation

from someone who could so very easily just.. not

is too much to bear

it's all too much

and yet not enough

too many times i've said, "i can't remember the last time i-"

too long ago were all the things that brought me happiness

to feel swept away, romanced, tended to, protected

just... too much of all the wrong things. too little of what kept me.. myself.

and too often feeling like it's never going to change.

[dysturbimania]

one day, i'm going to wake up for the last time.

one day, i'm going to gaze upon someone i loved and realize i'm staring at a memory.

one day, i'm going to throw my lipgloss and a photo of my Mom into a bag and walk out the door.

one day, i'm going to drive to the shore and stare out over the horizon.

and on that day, i'm going to walk right into the ocean.

[dysturbimania]

that sharp crack was the fracture in my heart widening, lengthening.. deepening.

[dysturbimania]

the problem with *these* types of feelings *waves arms emphatically* is that there is nothing i can do with, nor about, them.

[dysturbimania]

here we are.. again.

[dysturbimania]

the problem with *these* types of feelings *waves arms emphatically* is that there is nothing i can do with, nor about, them.

[dysturbimania]

i feel like screaming.

and why not? it's not like anyone would hear me. you'd have to actually see me to do that.

[dysturbimania]

that sharp crack was the fracture in my heart widening, lengthening.. deepening.

[dysturbimania]

surrounded by

inundated with

uncertainty

I just want to be around people who love me

goddamn nowhere feels like home anymore

constantly looking over my shoulder

to see who's stabbing me in the back.

i'm all alone in rooms far too crowded.

[dysturbimania]

mood: a very deep sigh brimming with quiet rage and a small dab of turbulent angst on the side.

[dysturbimania]

you know what you learn from being on your own so often?

that you don't need people as much as you thought you did.

you actually don't need anyone. at all.

[dysturbimania]

? anymore same the is nothing since dead is romance guess i

[timbllr]

from weheartit

[dysturbimania]

3 a.m. depression hits way different than midday depression.

[dysturbimania]

"trying to make sense of the kind of freedom and sensitivity that can only come from so much loneliness"

[dysturbimania]

I'm so fucking tired of crying.

[dysturbimania]