June 23, 2016 | 7:31 pm After falling high from love and landing head first. After healing from a heartbreak. After going through grief. After acceptance. What comes next? It feels like there's a flatline after all the ups and downs. Emptiness tries to live within the depths of one. It's like craving for a feeling that has not been explored. Do I wanna repeat the cycle? Do I wanna drown myself again? Do I wanna know if the very thing that brought me happiness would still give me the intensity of its ecstasy? Do I wanna go through the same process of going at the very top just to be dropped again? Do I dare let myself feel again? Is emptiness a feeling that must be explored? How do you explore nothing? As I try to swim in this ocean of hollow emptiness, I saw pieces of myself scattered and floating. What must I do? A voice in my head says, "Pick them up with your bare hands." Another voice butts in, "But honey, you will need all the glue you can get." The point is, I drowned myself on my own. If oceanographers would discover this ocean of mine they would declare the dead sea, alive. What was once just a lake of self-depreciation became a vast entity but in the midst of it all, the loudest voice finally spoke to me, "Swim!"