The Fresh Knight of Troll Kingdom

I HAD NINETY-NINE PROBLEMS AND SINCE THEY ALL MIRACULOUSLY DISSOLVED THEMSELVES IN AN A SCRAMBLED BOSS STRIFE OF IMMENSE MAGNITUDE, I'M TENTATIVELY HOPING TO GET SOME PEACE FOR ONCE IN MY SEVEN-POINT-I'VE-TOTALLY-LOST-TRACK SWEEPS. HOLY SHIT I'M JINXING MYSELF.

[earthcvantas-blog]

OK OK. CONSIDER THE HOUSE COMPLETELY EVACUATED. WHEREVER THE COMPLETELY MYSTERIOUS MOTHERFUCKER IS THAT YOU CAN’T GIVE ME DETAILS ABOUT, HE DIDN’T EVEN SEEM LIKE HE WAS IN THERE.

THE WHOLE PLACE WAS A VACANT SHELL OF PUPPETY TERROR, AND NOW HERE I AM WANDERING AROUND LIKE A TOOL. WHERE EXACTLY AM I SUPPOSED TO GO?

[earthcvantas-blog]

@turntechheartthrob: karks did you get my message fuck get the hell out of there if you aint out in five im comin to drag you out personally

IT’S ONLY BEEN FIVE MINUTES SINCE I MESSAGED YOU ORIGINALLY MYSELF ANYWAY. I’VE BEEN BUSY PICKING UP PILES OF PLUSHY PROTUBERANT DICK-FASCIMILIES.

BUT FINE WHATEVER. I’LL JUST LEAVE THEM TO FESTER IN RANDOM FRUITLOOP COLORED MOUNTAINS ON THE FLOOR, TAKING UP VALUABLE WALKING SPACE AND GIVING ME OCULAR STRAIN.

WHERE EXACTLY AM I SUPPOSED TO DROP EVERYTHING AND RUN LIKE HELL TO.

[earthcvantas-blog]

WHY THE HELL IS THERE A PUPPET IN THIS HIVE?

SCRATCH THAT. PUPPETS. PLURAL.

DAVE AND I HAVE DECLARED THIS DOMICILE A STRICTLY PUPPET-FREE ZONE AND HERE I AM UP TO MY ANKLES IN BULBOUS NEON MOCKERIES OF HUMAN ANATOMY.

ALRIGHT. HA HA HA HA. I GET IT. I WAS GONE FOR TOO FUCKING LONG SO NOW SOMEONE IS PLAYING A PRANK ON ME IN MY OWN HIVE.

REAL FUNNY WISE GUY. FESS THE FUCK UP.

[earthcvantas-blog]

@grimxuxilixtrix [CG]: HEY.

[CG]: I SUCCESSFULLY TRANSPORTALIZED BACK WITH ALL THE ATOMS THAT CAME IN THE ORIGINAL VANTAS PACKAGE, BLAH BLAH BLAH JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER TIME AND

[CG]: MAYBE IT’S JUST BECAUSE I HAVEN’T BEEN BACK AT MY OWN HIVE IN A PROLONGED PERIOD.

[CG]: NOT THAT THIS WAS EVEN MY INTENTION IN THE *FIRST PLACE* SINCE THE ORIGINAL PLAN WAS AEONS SIMPLER THAN WHAT ACTUALLY ENDED UP HAPPENING, THANKS UNIVERSE FOR ONCE AGAIN PROVING THAT EVEN IN THE EVENT OF A ‘HAPPY ENDING’ IT STILL WON’T CUT ME OR ANYBODY I’M VAGUELY ASSOCIATED WITH A SINGLE SCINTILLA OF SLACK.

[CG]: BUT UH

[CG]: BESIDES THE POINT.

[CG]: SOMETHING FEELS FUCKING WEIRD HERE.

[lunarissylva1997]

Happy birthday Homestuck!!!

[earthcvantas-blog]

DID I MENTION SOMETHING WEIRD IS AFOOT? NOW I HAVE. SOMETHING FUCKING WEIRD IS HAPPENING. I COULDN’T GET AHOLD OF DAVE THE ENTIRE STRETCH OF TIME I WAS GONE. NOT ONLY THAT BUT THE HOUSE HAS THE ATMOSPHERE OF A HUMAN CORPSE PARTY.

MINUS THE ACTUAL BLOATING BODIES QUIETLY ROTTING.

SO YEAH, SOME SPOOKTASTIC HORSECRAPPERY HAS PLOPPED ITS HOT AND ODOROUS EXISTENCE DIRECTLY ON THE FRONT FUCKING PORCH FOR ALL OF US TO ADMIRE IN SUSPICIOUS ANTIPATHY.

[earthcvantas-blog]

ANYWAY, SO AFTER AN INCREDIBLY EXTENDED VISIT TO ONE OF THE NEIGHBORING KINGDOMS IN ORDER TO DOUSE SOME FIRE-BORN IRONS AND RETURN THE WORLD TO ITS FORMER AND *CORRECT* ORDER I HAVE MANAGED TO RETURN TRIUMPHANT.

LOOK I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO SHIT ANY OF YOU ANY FURTHER IT WASN’T DANGEROUS AT ALL. ACTUALLY IT WAS BORING. SO BORING I DON’T FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING ALL THE LITTLE FACETS OF DETAIL GLITTERING ON THE PUSTULE-RIDDEN ASS OF A SITUATION THAT WAS. MAYBE I’LL DETAIL IT LATER. BUT, PROBABLY NOT.

[earthcvantas-blog]

I would be interested in shipping my character, Kanaya, with yours. The kind of ship I’m interested in is a [friendship]. I could see our muses [snuggling / going out to movies / fighting people/ALL OF THESE BUT PLATONIC AF] together.

[[ Hell yeah this pale ship is locked and loaded. ]]

[comradesaucegay]

♡  follow for more soft grump aesthetic ♡

[yoursummerdreamz]

[greenie-bab3]

[sadscent]

[adaptedtoxo]

[whenrpmemesattack]

Send your Zodiac Sign and my muse will read your horoscope

Remember: Answers may be highly inaccurate

[earthcvantas-blog]

THIS JUST IN: I SHIT THE RECOOPERASLAB AND STILL HAVEN'T MADE PROPER GREETERS FOR ALMOST ANY BEING THAT HAS DECIDED TO ALLOW ME, FOR SOME REASON, NIGH UNLIMITED ACCESS TO THEIR DASH SPACE. SO UPON THAT REALIZATION, I PROMPTLY LOOKED AT THE NUMBERS AND ALSO REALIZED THAT THERE ARE FIFTY PEOPLE WHO'VE DONE THAT. FIFTY ACTUAL PRESUMABLY SENTIENT PEOPLE WHO SAW MY ALL-CAPS RAMBLESPASMS AND DECIDED, "OH BOY! TIME TO MASOCHISTICALLY PUNISH MYSELF EVERY TIME I ENTER THE SANCTUM OF TUMBLR." HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS I HAVE FOR THE GENERAL POPULACE OF TUMBLR! A. WHAT FUCKING POSSESSED YOU. B. THERE IS NO SECOND QUESTION BECAUSE THE FIRST OUTLINES IN RED NEON-LIGHT WARNING SHARPIE THE PROBLEMS WITH HUMANITY, TROLLKIND, AND... MISCELLANEOUS. I DON'T ACTUALLY GET WHAT SOME OF YOU RETICENT SASSHOLES ARE. GLITCH DEMONS? ACTUAL DEMONS? FEATHERY HALO-HATTED RELIGIOUS PRISONERS? BEATS ME! ALSO. THANKS, I THINK. THIS IS ALMOST FLATTERING IN A TWISTED, 'LET ME THANK MY INTERNET STALKERS' WAY.

[kavtari]

Reblog if you RP using Discord

Message me if you’d like my username.

[bakerie]

[sxiere]

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