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°ʚ🎀ɞ° fresh start | unspoken thoughts

[earthenpages]

(✿╹◡╹)ﾉʰᵉˡˡᵒ♡

From airaawwr to sugary luna to lunaaaia to earthenpages. Will try to be more active here. Let's stay connected. 🧸ྀི

[earthenpages]

i can't imagine na dadating ako sa ganitong phase, nagkaroon ako ng anxious attachment issue, yung self worth ko sobrang down na, parang umiikot lang ako "okay lang, okay naman anak ko", na para bang sinabi ko din na okay lang na mapabayaan ko sarili ko, basta wag lang anak ko. Pero mali pala, pilit kang gigisingin ng mundo na, tama na, sobra na, pinupush away ka na oh tapos di mo pa din iniintindi sarili mo.

I can't sacrifice my job, at di ko din kaya yung mom guilt para lang unahin sarili ko. Ang daming gustong learnings ng utak ko, pero yung katawan ko parang laging fatigue at laging parang nasa survival mode.

Kaya di ko na din talaga alam. Mukha lang ako walang pakialam kasi gusto ko na lang inumb yung pain na nararamdaman ko.

[girltalk]

𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑑𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔

𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑑𝑜 𝑖𝑠 𝑘𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔

[earthenpages]

I don't know who i am anymore since nagkaanak at asawa ako. feeling ko wala na ko self identity or na bury na lang yung identity ko under responsibilities.

ln my life rn, i've been been carrying a lot at once:

I'm raising a 2 year old toddler

my husband is working abroad, and my relationship has been under a lot of strain.

I'm working as a medical technologist

I'm trying to lose weight, improve my health, manage GERD, and take care of my body

I'm worried about finances and our future

I'm often exhausted and feel like I have so many ideas but no energy to act on them

My goal now is to discover who Aira at 32 is—not just a mother, not just a wife, but a whole person whose own needs, interests, and dreams still matter.

[girltalk]

♡ some days will feel heavy and hard to carry. that doesn’t mean you are failing, it simply means you’re human. it’s okay to feel those things and move through them. sending love, always ♡

[earthenpages]

I uninstalled facebook, ig & threads.

kasi sobrang nag dodoom scrolling lang ako tas wala naman ako learnings but sama ng loob lang sa mga nakikita lol. I don't wanna deactivate kasi kahit deactived acct mo, searchable pa din siya. Wala nga lang mga posts and all. So better uninstall it na lang kasi gusto ko lang naman mg socmed break except sa tiktok gawa ng mga orders ko hahaha and here sa tumblr. Kasi mas goods talaga postings here. Mas nakaka encourage and hindi puro ka shittyhan.

[cherriesofall]

[earthenpages]

I'm into Lany songs lately, and everyday I'm getting tired and sad. Pano ba labanan tong procrastination na to para di ako ma engulf ng emotions ko.

[earthenpages]

Wala naman nagsabi na ang hirap pala maglose ng weight kapag nasa 30s ka na, tapos working mom ka pa.

Or di lang talaga ako marunong mag juggle ng time?

[earthenpages]

𝑌𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑘𝑜 𝑠𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑜𝑛, 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑎 𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑒𝑏𝑒 𝑘𝑜. 𝑃𝑒𝑟𝑜 𝑑𝑖 𝑘𝑜 𝑝𝑎 𝑛𝑎 𝑒𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑎 𝑘𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑎 𝑛𝑎 𝑘𝑎ℎ𝑖𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑎 𝑝𝑎 𝑘𝑜 𝑗𝑜𝑤𝑎/𝑎𝑠𝑎𝑤𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒, 𝑠𝑎𝑏𝑖 𝑘𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑎𝑔𝑎 𝑝𝑎𝑔 𝑛𝑎𝑔𝑘𝑎 𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑘 𝑎𝑘𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝑔𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑜 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑦 "𝐿𝑈𝑁𝐴". 𝐹𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑘𝑜 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑘𝑜, 𝑘𝑎𝑦𝑎 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑎𝑒 𝑛𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑎𝑘 𝑘𝑜 ℎ𝑎ℎ𝑎ℎ𝑎 𝑘𝑎ℎ𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑜 𝑛𝑢𝑛 𝑎𝑦 𝑙𝑎𝑙𝑎𝑘𝑖 𝑚𝑢𝑛𝑎 𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑎.

[earthenpages]

Car selfies: heatwave edition (⑉･̆-･̆⑉)

[earthenpages]

​Car selfies: because the lighting was too good to pass up. ❀(⸝⸝•ᴗ•⸝⸝)❀

Moon on my neck, sun on my face.

[earthenpages]

The lasing feeling is so fleeting.

[earthenpages]

Feeling ko talaga minsan ang pogi ko huehue. Minsan na nga lang ako mag night duty, puro selfies pa.

[earthenpages]

Daily dose of i don't know what to do first. •᷄‎ࡇ•᷅

[earthenpages]

I really don't trust people words talaga kahit kaibigan ko pa yan. Feeling nila sila lagi tama sa story nila kung makapagkwento about sa actions ng ibang tao tapos kakainin din naman nila mga sinabi nila lol . U get what i mean!?

[earthenpages]

Nag rerenovate ng house namin kasi gagawin ng apartment ng yung taas ng bahay, tapos sakop dun yung kwarto kaya ang adjustment, dito na kami ni Luna sa main bedroom nina mama tapos sila ni papa ay nagpagawa na lang ng maliit na kwarto sa may sala para dun sila na mag sstay. Pinaubaya na 'tong bigger room samin kasi madami daw gamit si Luna like tables books and all haha kita niyo naman sa pictures.

Then yung naglipat ng mga gamit mula dun sa bedroom namin papunta dito sa magiging bedroom namin is si papa. Nasa duty ako that time, kaya yan basta niya na lang tinambak lahat. Di ko tuloy alam kung pano ko sisimulan plus may makulit at lagi pa ko naglalaro na bata kaya di na maayos ayos 'to. Hopefully, ngayon araw ma finish ko na kasi pinasama ko muna siya sa in laws ko.

[earthenpages]

After 2 hrs dumating na si Luna, buti na lang medyo may konti na ko changes kahit papaano. Haha. Pagkadating ni Luna, nagclean lang siya ng body tapos humingi na ng milk at nagsleep na. Napagod siguro sa kakalaro. Di ko naman na pwede ituloy maglinis tonight kasi baka mamaya magising pa and I need to fix myself pa din. Yun lang.