It’s 00:03. I have checked my luggage 6 times already, I think I have everything.
At 9:55 the plane to the Roller Derby World cup is departing.
I am so f*cking nervous. This will be my first major Roller Derby event. What if I fuck up. I will be the youngest skater there. What if I fall the whole time, what if I make too many penalties, what if I can’t stop the opposing jammers., what if, what if, what if…
I will not only let my team down, but I will let the whole country down.
There is so much pressure, I just hope I’ll do well.
I know everyone will say I’ll do fine, but that feeling of not being good enough keeps haunting me…
I know I critique myself most. But I know I can do more, train more and get better. I just want to become perfect in what I do. I actually know that I’m pretty good for the amount of time I have been training. But that makes it even more terrifying. I have just practiced this sport for three years and that is why everyone has really high expectations…
I have to show everyone who told me that I can’t do it, that I can. I know they won’t be there, but hey no one is.
My parents aren’t coming… They are going to watch the live stream. It sucks that they can’t come and I do understand, but still…
I can’t sleep and I’m really tired. These thoughts keep clouding my mind. I hope I can get a good nights rest before the first day of games.
I have to stop thinking about all of this on track, focus on the positives and keeping it low and slow!
I’m going to close my eyes again and hope I fall asleep now.
Good night everyone and if you’re going to the WorldCup come and say hi!
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