Calandra

we all die anyway right?

[nothingspecialjustasoul]

I’m healed enough to function, not enough to feel safe.

[eccedentesiast-skies]

Too lost in my functionality to find my safety.

[nothingspecialjustasoul]

[perfectfeelings]

“People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help others heal, love them without an agenda.”

— Mike McHargue

[perfectfeelings]

“The deeper the wound, the more private the pain.”

— Isabel Allende, Paula

[eccedentesiast-skies]

The suicidal girl cannot be real until she is dead.

[eccedentesiast-skies]

End of a Chapter…

knowing it’s the last time for a long time is such a silly feeling.

Perspectives have shifted, the rose colored lenses have shattered, and what was is no longer;

no unfinished business, no apologies left unsaid, no goodbyes to be had.

A year has passed, i have changed, they have too, and this is not my home anymore.

The end.

[moonshadow-palette]

“I wanted to paint this feeling of: When I get home and no one’s around, who am I? Who am I without this façade?"

-Danielle Joy Mckinney

[eccedentesiast-skies]

We’re all mosaics of everyone we’ve ever met and everyone they’ve ever met and so on - it’s a beautiful thing really.

[eccedentesiast-skies]

Learning to grieve aspects of yourself once believed would be apart of you forever, is one of the scariest yet most enlightening experiences.

[realityy-is-a-lie]

Problem is, i never healed, i just tried not to think about it.

[eccedentesiast-skies]

You’ve grown into someone who would have protected you as a child. And that is the most powerful move you made.

[perfectfeelings]

“I like how sleeping next to someone means more than sex sometimes, the body’s way of saying ‘I trust you to be by my side at my most vulnerable time,’ you have no defenses when you are asleep, you tell no lies”

— Eric Shaw

[eccedentesiast-skies]

If my life was a book… I’d rip out those pages and burn my vulnerability.

[eccedentesiast-skies]

we are cheating ourselves out of a life full of new opportunities and experiences trying to get back what we once had, while hurting each other in the process.

[eccedentesiast-skies]

Trying to do the bare-minimum of just keeping myself alive is becoming my most difficult and most taxing task of everyday life. And i don’t know how to explain that to anyone without them freaking out or thinking i need them to fix it. I don’t need to be fixed, i just need someone to understand that what may seem like not even a second thought to most people - is my number one battle, and most difficult challenge right now.

[eccedentesiast-skies]

have you ever been locked in your mind surrounded by a world which has trapped you in silence; because if you speak up you’re making problems for yourself but if you don’t speak up, you obviously were asking for it. but how can they tell someone who wasn’t even old enough to legally consent let alone understand - that they were asking for it?

[eccedentesiast-skies]

We hide when we don’t feel safe. When being seen, feels unsafe.