☆ — while i'm an omnist, at the moment i'm focusing mostly on hellenic polytheism; i'm slowly getting into kemetic paganism as well.
★ — i practice witchcraft, albeit inconsistently. i still have a lot to learn, but my practice involves mainly kitchen witchcraft.
ABOUT ME
☆ — i'm part of the LGBTQIA+ community
★ — i'm neurodivergent and chronically ill, thus i struggle a lot with social interactions and being active on social media. my energy levels fluctuate a lot.
☆ —
DNI
!!! DO NOT FOLLOW & DO NOT INTERACT IF:
• you fit basic DNI criteria, you are a proshipper/terf/zionist;
• you don't respect neopronouns/xenopronouns/xenogenders;
• you disrespect others' religions/you disrespect any entities;
• you appropriate cultural/closed practices you're not allowed to engage in.
i block freely, though not often; sometimes it's not about serious things but it can happen if i feel uncomfortable.
— guide to tags
i'd love to meet and get to know more pagan and/or witchy people, so do not be afraid to dm me or say something in my inbox ♥︎
spiritual psychosis and the misrepresentation of psychotic pagans
Hello everyone! This is, without a doubt, my most ambitious and lengthy project to date (even though I banged it out in two hours on a caffeine high lol). I have collected survey responses from over a dozen people and compiled several different sources for the purpose of providing both lived experience and professional expertise. It is important to me that not only the people of this community are represented, but the wider world as well.
I want to clarify that I am not a mental health professional, nor is this meant to be therapeutic or advisory in any way. Opinions stated in this post are just that, opinions, and should not be taken as gospel or, god forbid, diagnostic criteria. Please do your own research and reach out to a licensed psychologist if you have any concerns for yourself.
What is psychosis, and who is considered “psychotic”?
Psychosis, as defined by the NHS, is a state of being where a person loses touch with reality. They define three main symptoms: delusions, hallucinations, and disordered thinking or speaking, of which we'll only touch on two. They further expand on those topics: “hallucinations – where a person hears, sees and, in some cases, feels, smells or tastes things that do not exist outside their mind but can feel very real to the person affected by them” and “delusions – where a person has strong beliefs that are not shared by others” (1). Okay, so hallucinations, pretty clear cut, I agree with that definition, and to a certain extent also agree with the definition of delusions. However, I believe these can be expanded upon somewhat.
In my experience, “hallucinations” is a large umbrella term for sensory stimuli that are created inside the brain, but seem to be coming from outside of it. This can include:
Sight: seeing things out of the corner of my eye and automatically believing someone is hiding behind a car, or in the corner of my room, or outside my window, etc. These often occur in my peripheral vision, and once I look straight at them, will usually disappear. Full on hallucinations, as in ones I can’t convince myself are not real even after staring at them, are less common for me, but definitely play a real part in many people’s lives.
Sound: hearing someone say my name out of complete silence, or hearing footsteps when nothing is there. These are often so faint that it’s hard to convince myself that I didn’t hear them. Full narrative conversations are also possible, but I have yet to experience them myself.
Smell: smelling my mothers perfume even though she’s gone, smelling rotten or foul odors when nothing is there. Smelling mold is a big one for me, and although it does usually lead me to finding random rotten stuff in the back of my fridge, oftentimes nothing is there.
Touch: feeling someone touch the back of my neck, thinking the hair on the back of my hand is a spider, feeling the corner of my bed dip down when there’s nothing there at all. This is definitely not one of the criteria I would use for diagnosing myself, as many people experience phantom touches all the time. I mean, most of us have body hair, and even a slight wind can set that off. To me, it’s about the effect that the experience has on us; often causing fear, paranoia, and even anxiety attacks.
Taste is also included in this list, but I’ve never personally experienced it myself, so I can’t comment.
Now “delusions” are often considered as any one of these listed; erotomanic, grandiose, jealous, persecutory, or somatic. Erotomanic type is defined as the belief that someone, often famous, is in love with the person. Grandiose type is defined as belief in themselves having greater purpose, knowledge, or worth than others. Jealous type is defined as unwarranted and unfounded jealousy, often targeted towards romantic partners. Persecutory type is defined as the belief that someone or someones are out to get them. And finally somatic type is defined as the belief that there is something or many things medically wrong with a person (9).
There are a long list of conditions that can be associated temporary or prolonged psychosis, but the NHS and Cleveland Clinic list these: Schizophrenia, Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophreniform Disorder, Schizotypal Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, severe Major Depressive Disorder (with psychotic features), as well as situational conditions like drug use, lack of sleep, severe stress or anxiety, and various physical health conditions like Alzheimer’s (2 and 3). Other less studied conditions like Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD and cPTSD, and various dissociative disorders have been linked to psychosis as well (4, 5, 6, and 7).
What is my experience with psychosis?
I have experienced psychosis related to what I believe to be four separate conditions: MDD with psychotic features, cPTSD, chronic insomnia, and when I received trans-cranial magnetic stimulation for treatment resistant MDD. Since that part of my treatment is over, I often only get psychosis symptoms under only a few specific conditions: when my depression is worse, when I don’t take my meds, and when exposed to trauma-related stressors. I have been on a course of five different medications as well as twice a week therapy for about six months now, and my symptoms have greatly improved as a result.
Now let’s get into the real meat of this post: spiritual psychosis.
How do psychotic people define spiritual psychosis?
Paraphrasing from the many people who responded to my Google Form, spiritual psychosis, as defined by the community is:
Delusions and hallucinations deriving from, or originating in, religious or spiritual belief. This can involve illusions of grandeur, in which a person believes they are superior to and more powerful than the average person, often on the same level or just below God or a god. This can involve disordered thinking which cannot discern the mundane from metaphysical, and points to spirits, the gods, spells or curses, or a grand conspiracy (among others) as the origin for all positive or negative events. This can involve extreme, deeply involved belief in a religion or spirituality that did not otherwise exist before a psychotic episode. This can involve paranoia over oppressive deities or spirits, and a deep fear that is intrinsically linked with a person’s spiritual practice.
To clarify, just because you experience one or some of these symptoms does not mean you automatically experience spiritual psychosis. I’ve often seen those raised in Christian backgrounds that have the fear that God is always listening, that God will get angry at them over any little thing. That is not inherently spiritual psychosis, but religious trauma as a direct result of Biblical teachings which depict God as omniscient–as all knowing and all seeing.
How do experts define spiritual psychosis?
Well, this is a hard one. See, spiritual psychosis isn’t a term in professional psychology, and most likely originates as a term in popular psychology (or pop psych). Pop psych often defines spiritual psychosis as a set of symptoms which include: believing one has divine powers or a preternatural, pre-determined destiny, hearing voices or getting visions that imply a greater connection with a deity, and a loss of purpose and identity due to spiritual “revelations” (8).
The way the public often interprets this is that, well, if you’re seeing or hearing things, you’re crazy as fuck and you need to be locked up. But, that’s not what psychotic people are actually experiencing at the root. The way myself and other people who experience spiritual psychosis often determine what is religious is nature and what is psychotic in nature is the effect it has on us.
This effect often feels one of two ways: extremely anxiety inducing, or extremely uplifting, almost manic in nature. Either way, how I differentiate them (as someone who isn’t a psychologist), is how a person’s sense of self is affected. If someone receives a vision and feels something along the lines of “Oh my god the universe is falling apart and I’m nothing and you’re nothing and we’re all going to die” and then continues to have extreme paranoia about it, that’s probably psychotic in nature. Or if someone experiences a rush of thoughts often boiling down to “I’m God/I’m related to God/I’m the most powerful person ever” then that’s also probably, at its root, psychosis related.
What are the pagan and witchcraft communities like for psychotic people?
See, what many non-psychotic people don’t understand, is that those of us receiving proper psychological care can tell when we’re having delusions. We know what is real and what isn’t, to a certain extent, and most of us keep those that are in the gray zone to ourselves. Even if a person is somewhat or completely untreated and unregulated, those are rare, and few and far between. And, at the end of the day, it’s not up to you to decide what is legitimate or illegitimate personal gnosis if it’s not harming anyone.
So all this shit talking and name calling towards people who actually experience detailed, involved gnosis is unfounded, and deeply harmful to those of us with actual psychotic delusions. If I’m going to get dogged on for sharing my hedge riding experiences then I’m simply never going to share those experiences online, and I’m going to feel unsafe in the communities I’ve stationed myself in.
The main thing people talked about in the responses to my Google form? People’s fear over being involved in spiritual psychosis “debates” and being subjected to regular harassment and discrimination. No one wants to interact with the community anymore over fear that the community at large will shit all over them, while simultaneously uplifting others who are spreading much more damaging narratives.
I’m certainly not saying that psychotic delusions should be normalized, in fact I’m saying the opposite, really. I want people to be able to know what is and what isn’t “spiritual psychosis,” so they stop bothering those of us who can actually tell reality from delusion, and hold those who can’t accountable (to a certain extent). In fact, there are multiple accounts on here with significant followings that uplift themselves to godlike or demi-godlike status, and completely get away with it! And I don’t even think all of those people even have delusions, I think they’re just egotistical assholes!
So, how can we do better?
Take our names, and our experiences, out of your fucking mouth. That’s it. Just shut the fuck up about other people and their mental illnesses, and keep any concerns you have well read, well meant, and targeted on an individual basis.
You have to remember that this is a real issue that people deal with in day-to-day life. It isn't fun, or quirky, or empowering, it's fucking terrifying. To know that your brain can sometimes not know fact from fiction, to know your sense of identity could disappear at the drop of a hat, is terrifying to me and many others.
We aren't your "gotcha," we aren't the butt of a joke or a line of reasoning in a rebuttal--we're real people, with real emotions, and we're fucking tired. All we want is to be left alone, and to be given space to exist, same as anyone else. We're not saints, not by any means, but a majority of us are just doing our best to live normal lives, and to be demonized on something ENTIRELY outside our control is exhausting.
Grow the hell up, we have bigger things to worry about right now.
i'm getting into kitchen witchcraft and i genuinely have no idea why i never considered it before. i love cooking, baking and coming up with recipes, so i'm just kinda confused ??? about why it didn't cross my mind in all these years. well, i guess better late than never.
Normalize falling behind in worship. Normalize not constantly being at 100%. Normalize needing to take a step back in order to keep moving forward. Normalize being imperfect. Normalize being human.
Why do y'all think that the greek gods are mad about elections? Let alone be mad at YOU for how the elections turned out.
Another question. Shouldn't they also be mad about the constant forest fires in Greece every year? The poverty and exploitation of the African continent by their past colonizers? Shouldn't they be mad about what's happening in Gaza? And why are they not mad at the dictatorship in Russia?
I know this is a situation where many Americans are becoming vulnerable... From queer people, people of color, disabled people, and more minorities.
BUT PLEASE TRY TO THINK RATIONALLY. WHY WOULD THE GODS BE MAD AT YOU FOR SOMETHING YOU CAN'T CONTROL?
Also. Don't believe everything you see on TikTok and stop fear mongering PLEASE.
Reminder that the orange Cheeto man is not worth your life. We are not doomed. Our human rights will not immediately evaporate into thin air. Most things that Trump does can likely be undone in the next presidency, and there WILL be a next presidency. As much as he likes to think he's a dictator with unlimited power, he is not. That's not the way our system works, thankfully.
Reminder that the suicide hotline number in the US is 988. You can also contact The Trevor Project. This election is NOT worth your life, I promise you.
BIG shoutout to those who are practicing in secret
y'all don't get enough recognition because leading a double life is exhausting (i know because i'm one of those people leading that very same double life)
shoutout to those who can't tell anyone about their practise
shoutout to anyone who can't own tarot or oracle decks and so use household items to do divination
shoutout to those who can't have candles or fancy altars
Does anyone have any tips for continuing to have faith and trust in your deity even when you aren't receiving any signs of their presence? I feel bad but it's something that I really struggle with.
It's so important for us to understand that we can connect with the Gods in our own personal ways. Just because you see someone on this app with the aesthetic altars/shrines, and the routine rituals, etc. doesn't mean you need to do/have those things in order to connect to the Gods.
The Gods know. And they understand that everyone connects differently. Whether its going out into nature, or praying softly in your car before work, or giving small offerings into the earth, the Gods accept you.
It can be difficult to understand the concept that religious connection is a personal journey, not something you need to envy from someone else. Find what helps you connect, and do those things.
No matter how big or small your actions may be, the Gods love you all the same.
It's with a heavy but hopeful heart that I watch Palestinian families fundraiser on here, slowly accumulating the precious little money to go around that they need to survive. However, not everyone is so lucky. A lot of Palestinians that have not had that kind of luck, that did not get early verification, that did not get massive platforms behind them from large bloggers, have approached me in my inbox, asking me kindly to do what I can for them.
It kills me that I have so little to give myself, but I've seen this platform collectively raise enough to change someone's life. I've made a list of Palestinian fundraisers that are extremely low on funds, in the hope that drawing attention to people who have not been lucky at all can help turn that luck around.
I know most of us can't possibly give enough to get all of these families safe in one go. But please, reblog this list. Pick one or two fundraisers, give what you can, and then keep track of it. Slowly, collectively, we can make a difference in these people's lives.
Share and donate as much as you can.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/178EGDFKkHlh3y4TMVX82kqgITHsqtoMdNccI2f_94Os/edit?usp=sharing
Friendly reminder that you don't need to be on any “level” of witchcraft to worship the Hellenic gods because
1. Being a polytheist or a pagan doesn't equal being a witch.
2. These deities were worshipped by literal children back then as there was no fear of them being harmed.
If someone is telling you “this deity is for beginners/advanced practitioners/whatever” then they're either misinformed or they're purposefully trying to seem spiritually above you so you consider them as some sort of spiritual guide.
jbbartram-illu
prguitarman
pixelskylines
theartofmadeline
izzy806
dailybridgerton
turnnoffyourmind
