side blogs: @sidheshore & @templekhrysenios & @ofravageandruin
please keep in mind that i am an adult (22) and although i don't mind receiving questions from minors please keep it to asks and out of dms unless necessary
hello everyone and welcome to my blog! content here will be primarily about witchcraft and hellenic polytheism, with some other pagan/polytheist practices in the mix.
i am contractually bound to hades, with very strong relationships with artemis and persephone as well. i am an artist, diviner, chaos witch, dragon enthusiast, and crystal collector. i am also an ambulatory disabled person and autistic.
i have been active in my practice for about nine years now, and have studied for that time primarily the art of divination (including tarot, osteomancy, runes, pendulums and more) and benevolent magic. recently i've also begun researching and practicing baneful magic, irish folk magic, and seidr! if you have any questions or need advice im always willing to listen!
creating an altar to yourself: an exercise in manifestation and passive control
recently my best friend told me about a change he made to his personal practice that completely revolutionized the way he felt fortune flowed for him. i've seen people talk about creating an egregore of themselves or their alter ego, but this approach is uniquely secular and occurred completely detached from this online space.
and what was it he did? well, he created an altar to himself.
and i know what that sounds like, but hear me out. this isn't so much an altar of worship or reverence--at least not in the way we think about those things--it's a passive spell that runs in the background, an act of self-care for his past self, boosting his self-confidence for his current self, and manifesting the person he wants to become.
WHAT IS AN ALTAR TO THE SELF?
This temple can be created from a very wide variety of items, but most often includes things that are meaningful or attractive to the person. For me, this includes crystals, trinkets, bones, flowers and herbs, pictures or drawings, sigils, and salt or ash. My friend also has a little statue that represents him, self-affirmations, and a devotional jar of beads in his.
I was introduced to this idea as not just something to help improve my self-confidence, but also as a way of shaping my future self. Each crystal will have its own meaning or trait that I'm is hoping to embody, and I can move them closer or further away depending on what I need more in the moment.
And even if you didn't care for a spell like this, from a psychology standpoint, this absolutely seems like it could be a productive exercise--especially if you're a more visual person.
HOW TO MAKE THE ALTAR
For this I'll introduce two different methods, one that I employed, and one that my friend employed.
My method:
Start with your favorite color(s) and maybe even an aesthetic (like cottage-core, dark academia, etc.)
Choose items that represent those colors or aesthetics, for me this would be green, pink, or purple crystals, naturey trinkets, and drawings that combine the two
Include things of great importance to you, even if they don't fit in the aesthetic, and try to make them look right
Arrange everything in a visually appealing way (I'll give some examples of this later)
But what my friend did was kind of the opposite, building the altar from the top down with things that were important to him, and just making it look good from there.
You've probably noticed that I make a big deal about the visual appearance of this altar, which is on purpose. I believe that it is of great importance this altar is appealing to you, since it's supposed to represent you, and it's supposed to represent your interests. If you don't really care as much about things being artistic or aesthetic, that's okay! As long as you can look at it and go, "Yeah, that's the vibe, that's what I want for myself," then you've done it right.
You can also add things like sigils, salt, or ash for an added layer of protection or a "boost" to the magic aspect, which I've added to mine. I also really like bones and don't have anywhere else to put them, so I add those, and I'll throw in some lavender to the salt since that's my favorite herb to use in workings.
WHY CREATE AN ALTAR?
Have you ever felt tired of being subservient to the whims of some external force, of waiting for things to happen rather than getting to decide that for yourself? If you do, this might be for you.
And it's not that this is supposed to snub or push aside worship of actual deities (I mean it can but it doesn't have to), but add to it. Think about it, most of us already have a self-care routine, something sacred to us, that we may even dedicate to our gods. All this altar is meant to do is add to that, to create a holiness to self-love and self-care.
The ultimate purpose of this exercise is to manifest the things you want in life, to design your future self, and combat the helplessness many of us feel when things start to change. It's meant to feed your energy, to form a conduit between you and something physical (which is helpful for those of us that dissociate often).
It is not meant to feed some heretical "fuck you" to the gods or the universe, rather give these forces a framework or "checklist" of things you want. At the end of the day, this is more similar to a spell than making yourself a deity that you want other people to worship.
creating an altar to yourself: an exercise in manifestation and passive control
recently my best friend told me about a change he made to his personal practice that completely revolutionized the way he felt fortune flowed for him. i've seen people talk about creating an egregore of themselves or their alter ego, but this approach is uniquely secular and occurred completely detached from this online space.
and what was it he did? well, he created an altar to himself.
and i know what that sounds like, but hear me out. this isn't so much an altar of worship or reverence--at least not in the way we think about those things--it's a passive spell that runs in the background, an act of self-care for his past self, boosting his self-confidence for his current self, and manifesting the person he wants to become.
WHAT IS AN ALTAR TO THE SELF?
This temple can be created from a very wide variety of items, but most often includes things that are meaningful or attractive to the person. For me, this includes crystals, trinkets, bones, flowers and herbs, pictures or drawings, sigils, and salt or ash. My friend also has a little statue that represents him, self-affirmations, and a devotional jar of beads in his.
I was introduced to this idea as not just something to help improve my self-confidence, but also as a way of shaping my future self. Each crystal will have its own meaning or trait that I'm is hoping to embody, and I can move them closer or further away depending on what I need more in the moment.
And even if you didn't care for a spell like this, from a psychology standpoint, this absolutely seems like it could be a productive exercise--especially if you're a more visual person.
HOW TO MAKE THE ALTAR
For this I'll introduce two different methods, one that I employed, and one that my friend employed.
My method:
Start with your favorite color(s) and maybe even an aesthetic (like cottage-core, dark academia, etc.)
Choose items that represent those colors or aesthetics, for me this would be green, pink, or purple crystals, naturey trinkets, and drawings that combine the two
Include things of great importance to you, even if they don't fit in the aesthetic, and try to make them look right
Arrange everything in a visually appealing way (I'll give some examples of this later)
But what my friend did was kind of the opposite, building the altar from the top down with things that were important to him, and just making it look good from there.
You've probably noticed that I make a big deal about the visual appearance of this altar, which is on purpose. I believe that it is of great importance this altar is appealing to you, since it's supposed to represent you, and it's supposed to represent your interests. If you don't really care as much about things being artistic or aesthetic, that's okay! As long as you can look at it and go, "Yeah, that's the vibe, that's what I want for myself," then you've done it right.
You can also add things like sigils, salt, or ash for an added layer of protection or a "boost" to the magic aspect, which I've added to mine. I also really like bones and don't have anywhere else to put them, so I add those, and I'll throw in some lavender to the salt since that's my favorite herb to use in workings.
WHY CREATE AN ALTAR?
Have you ever felt tired of being subservient to the whims of some external force, of waiting for things to happen rather than getting to decide that for yourself? If you do, this might be for you.
And it's not that this is supposed to snub or push aside worship of actual deities (I mean it can but it doesn't have to), but add to it. Think about it, most of us already have a self-care routine, something sacred to us, that we may even dedicate to our gods. All this altar is meant to do is add to that, to create a holiness to self-love and self-care.
The ultimate purpose of this exercise is to manifest the things you want in life, to design your future self, and combat the helplessness many of us feel when things start to change. It's meant to feed your energy, to form a conduit between you and something physical (which is helpful for those of us that dissociate often).
It is not meant to feed some heretical "fuck you" to the gods or the universe, rather give these forces a framework or "checklist" of things you want. At the end of the day, this is more similar to a spell than making yourself a deity that you want other people to worship.
stats ryan, 22. aries sun, capricorn moon, gemini rising. lover of the eclectic and strange. forest dweller. night time wanderer. witch and much, much more
motifs stars (spec. the orion constellation), lavender, juniper, daffodils, magpies, bears, the star card, silver chains, blue eyes, crystals, hagstones, crochet hooks, feathers, ink and quills, animal bones, frogs, dragons, draft horses
colors green of many shades, but especially sage green. black. purple, especially lavender.
places attics, abandoned factories, cliffs overlooking the ocean, underneath a redwood tree, in a field of daffodils or california poppies, anywhere where the light cannot reach me (mostly for practical reasons, i sunburn easily)
hi! you mentioned that you deal with depersonalization, and i'm curious if weed helps the dissociation & feels grounding for you? i struggle with derealization and am curious about others' experiences with cannabis. thank you in advance - i hope you enjoy your evening <33
love and light
hello hello !
so, yes, i do experience depersonalization, however i should tell you that i do deal with it in a somewhat different way. for many people who experience depersonalization, in a very similar manner to derealization or simply just dissociation, it is a temporary reaction to a momentary (or several moments) trigger. for me, though, i experience both depersonalization and derealization as a constant state, indicative (i've been told) of a condition called depersonalization-derealization disorder (DPDR). i have been in this state since as early as i can remember, and very, very rarely experience relief from my symptoms.
it is common knowledge that getting high on any substance, but definitely weed, can cause a temporary feeling of dissociation, or worsen it in those like me. so, to answer your question directly--no, weed does not help me with grounding myself in my own body, but it does help me ground myself on this earth.
weed has a weird effect on me, improving my state of derealization on one hand, but completely obliterating my sense of self on the other. i become unable to recognize where sounds are coming from, where my pain is located, and often feel "floaty" or have out of body experiences. this doesn't really bother me, though, since i've never known a time where i have not been depersonalized.
my brain (separate from my body) does feel more connected with the earth, this timeline, this planet, this universe, whatever, while i'm high, and that is one of the primary reasons why i smoke. also, it feels good, and i like to feel good.
have you been struggling with brain fog? forgetfulness? having so much on your mind you're constantly plagued by anxiety?
yeah, me too. and we're not alone.
whether you're trying to lift some of the weight of global politics off your shoulders, avoid addictions and compulsions, or just get your head screwed back on straight, this might be for you. i'm not saying this ritual will cure any of those things, but it very well may help. and if you're not in the mental state to be doing these sorts of exercises, if it may cause anxiety, panic, or depressive spirals, DO NOT DO IT.
and although this ritual will include some therapeutic guidance i've received alongside the spellwork, know that this is in NO WAY a replacement for medical or psychiatric care. if you are experiencing a crisis, please contact the proper organizations in your area immediately.
TO BEGIN
You Will Need:
-incense, scented candles, a diffuser, or anything fragrant
-a candle (optional)
-healing or consecrating crystals or plants of your choice
-a journal or piece of paper, as well as a pen or pencil
-a highlighter, marker, or paint pen
-a comfortable enough place to meditate
-a method of divination, if you'd like
You Do Not Need:
-perfect peace and quiet
-a clean or picturesque space
-a positive mental state
-access to a forest, empty field, or even the ability to go outside
-good meditation skills
Some Rules:
-please read this post all of the way through before doing it yourself, as the putting your emotions to paper process might involve watching a tutorial video first
-at no point in this process are you allowed to look at or touch your phone EXCEPT in cases that may endanger your life or others. if you cannot find a time to make this work, this ritual may not be for you.
-if you need quiet for meditation, you can use headphones or earbuds, but no music. unless you have someone literally playing an instrument for you, music is not needed here
-during the meditation portion, you are either going to sit there until you feel calm and clear-headed, or until you physically cannot anymore (and if you can't sit, you adapt this to whatever your body is capable of). as my therapist always says, "you can do hard things." sit in your discomfort, even if you have ADHD, even if you're anxious, even if you cry.
-i think that it's important for you to be left alone with your feelings, and if you can't make that work due to your living circumstance, you may not want to go forward, but do whatever you think will work for you.
NEXT STEPS
The first part of this ritual is the preparation, which should hopefully not take too long. All you need to do is collect the materials above, as well as making your meditation space comfortable, maybe watching any of the tutorial videos that I listed, and maybe writing down these steps so you don't need to check your phone.
The next part will be putting away your phone, which I know is harder for some of us than others. And I don't mean that in a judgmental way, I fully acknowledge how difficult life has made it to be separated from our phones, but it's important for this process. Take as long as you need to make sure you won't be distracted by its absence, turn off notifications, put it in a safe place, and forget about it.
The final part of this "prep" period will be lighting some incense, a scented candle, or turning on a diffuser--just to make your space more welcoming to be in. No, you don't need to pick up whatever mess is on the floor. No, the lights don't need to be dimmed, the curtains drawn, or the workspace aesthetically arranged. This is a spell meant to adapt to whatever is currently in front of you, not what should or should not be. Trying to make things perfect means you will never even begin, as you and everyone else knows that nothing is ever perfect.
The purpose of creating a more comforting atmosphere in this way is to use all of the senses to your advantage. Later, we'll also be using sight, touch/feel, and (if you'd like) sound. I enjoy doing this to make myself more grounded in reality, since I regularly deal with depersonalization.
THE RELEASE
Begin by lighting a candle, I prefer seven-day candles or tall pillar candles, since this might take a while. If the candle goes out or burns all the way down, don't freak out, just relight it or get a new one and keep going. It doesn't matter what color the candle is either, and it doesn't need to be dressed, or completely intact. I don't care if it's a Jesus candle from the dollar store or a dusty old white one from the back of Meemaw's closet, whatever you got will work.
The purpose of lighting the candle is just as a symbolic beginning to the ritual, as blowing it out will be the symbolic ending. If you can't use candles in your space, you can achieve the same effect as saying something like, "I invoke the ritual of healing," and "I release the ritual of healing."
If you're going to meditate laying down, or just tend to fall asleep while meditating, maybe avoid lighting a candle. Don't burn your house down just because someone on the internet told you to do something.
Next will be a more complicated part, depending on the person. I personally enjoy writing out my emotions, just because I'm not as much of a visual person, and I already have an internal dialogue of thought. However, many people do not function in this way, and may want to employ automatic drawing or something similar. You could also combine the two, and draw over your writing or write next to your drawings. Whatever you choose, remember that we're not focusing on how things read, our grammar, or the way the drawings look.
Some YouTube guides:
journaling your feelings
drawing your feelings (more abstract)
drawing your feelings (an actual guide)
automatic drawing
The purpose of this exercise is to put get all of that mess in your head out and onto paper. The paper doesn't know what you feel, what you've been through, or what you've been struggling to maintain. Tell or show the paper what you feel, even if it feels redundant or "silly". Use paint or markers or pens or pencils or whatever the fuck you want. Put post-its over top, rip it apart and put it back together again, crumple it and throw it against the wall for all I care. Go until you feel it's done, or until you've crammed as much information into it as you can. It can be one paper or two or an entire journal, but for the sake of these instructions I'll pretend you've just used one.
For the final part of the "release" section of this ritual, you'll be drawing a sigil that I've designed over top of your journal page(s). You can use whatever sigil you'd like, honestly, but I thought I'd design one anyways.
The imagery of this sigil is based on the concept of eyes as the windows to the soul and the three of swords tarot card. The spiral represents confusion or distortion of reality, and the grid represents the cage you might feel you're trapped in.
To make sure the sigil is still visible over top of whatever you used for this exercise, I recommend paint markers (if you have them). If those aren't accessible, then a soft graphite pencil or highlighter also works good!
Afterwards, grab your piece of paper and take it with you to your meditation space. Keep it in front of you as a beacon, or guiding light, for your thoughts.
MEDITATING
Look, I am not an expert, certified instructor, or even particularly knowledgeable about the religious or spiritual background of meditation. I learned meditation from multiple sources including my Buddhist martial arts instructor, various therapists, and practicing on my own. I have been actively meditating for over fifteen years now, varying from occasionally or daily.
At the end of the day, I can't teach you how to meditate. I have resources I can give you (check out Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche on YouTube!), and I have some tips and tricks to share, but I can't teach you how to start from absolute zero.
That being said, here are my tips:
-A lot of practitioners pay particular attention to sitting in a certain posture: cross-legged, spine straight, eyes closed. I have difficulty with this due to my injuries, and so I don't often follow these guidelines. Why? Well, it's my interpretation that these exercises just function to help center your mind and with grounding. I've found that I can still recreate that effect by doing the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (or some variation), and focusing on the rhythm of my breathing.
-You don't need to focus on "clearing your mind," or making your thoughts a complete void. This, for most people, does not work. As someone with ADHD, I constantly have intrusive or racing thoughts, and very rarely experience true blankness.
-Falling asleep is perfectly fine. In fact, sleeping is often vital to healing emotionally and physically, and many people do great spiritual work while asleep.
-Losing track of your thoughts doesn't make your meditation a failure. There is no failing here. There is only stopping, correcting, and moving on.
-Don't get discouraged just because you're struggling to keep still, keep your eyes closed, or whatever. Adjust as much as you need to, hell, keep your eyes open if it's productive for you.
Some questions to consider while you're meditating:
-"What are the emotions I'm struggling with recently?"
-"Why am I feeling this way?"
-"How am I expressing these emotions? Are they hurting me or others?"
-"How is my body storing this stress?" Feel your body, take inventory.
-"How can I move forward in a way that both honors these emotions and doesn't let them control me?"
During this time, I do my best to always be directing my thoughts towards these more productive exercises. What is "unproductive" will vary from person to person, but I commonly find myself trying to strategize for the future or fixating on what could have been, which is only an exercise in futility.
You will be the one deciding when your meditation is complete, but I usually pull myself out of it when I have run out of things to ponder, have finished crying (hey, it happens), or have reached a better state of peace and stability. Do whatever works for you.
RECHARGING
Now that you've emptied your brain out a little, we want to fill that space with something that suits you better. This can be many things! Self-affirmations, prayer, a nap, whatever you'd like. For the sake of this ritual, though, I have provided what I did myself.
Grab a healing or consecrating (meaning blessing, basically), plant or crystal. I like amethyst for this, since we're tackling our emotions.
If you grabbed a crystal, go ahead and press them to your eyes or forehead, and concentrate on leeching the powers of that stone into your body. You're not trying to be a vampire here, draining it of it's power entirely, it's more like copying someone else's code. Let the crystal rewrite your thought processes, let it show you how to let love and peace in.
If you grabbed an herb of some kind, go ahead and light it on fire somewhere on the workspace in front of you. Breathe in the fumes (don't stick your nose in it, freak) and go through the same processes as with the crystal. Let it show you what you need to heal.
TO WRAP UP
Now, you could stop here, blow out the candle or say your goodbyes, and go reward yourself for all your hard work--but I like to add one more step.
Sometimes, it's hard to see myself from an outside, objective point of view. I get so swept up in self-hatred, sadness, and anxious thoughts that I forget what the truth is. If you're anything like me, you might want to break out your favorite divination method and ask some of the same questions you pondered during the meditation.
Things like "What do I need to heal?", "Describe the emotions I've been struggling with, from your perspective," "What do I need to leave behind, and what should I bring into the future?", "How do I maintain positivity despite my life circumstances?" You could ask more questions than this, or less, depending on what you need in the moment.
After that, you're good to blow out your candle or say your goodbye. Have something nice and sweet (if you want), watch your favorite show or movie or go outside, and curl up with your pets (if you have them). Stay off your phone for as long as possible, and only do so once you feel you can shield yourself from all the negativity that can bring. This ritual is often stressful, draining, or vulnerable, and it can be hard to bounce back immediately. Don't punish yourself for taking the time you need.
Congrats on finishing your book! I'm looking forward to reading it later today 💚🪻
THANK YOU!!
btw, for you or anyone else who may find things they'd like to add, please feel free to send me an ask with the herb's common or scientific name and i'll look into adding it!!
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