Who's this douchebag?

hey there! i'm john. look, either you have it in you to be cool enough to associate with me or you don't. you're probably alright though! [[This is a RP blog for Douchestuck!John Egbert. I'm afraid it is a work in progress and not very good, but enjoy your stay and ignore this idiot if need be.]]

[douchestuck]

#selfies

[notquitegod]

Douchestuck!john????

[ectodouchebag]

for the record, i am still alive.

[ectodouchebag]

De-douche Day

[instagramstrider]

“Umm, weeeeeeelll…” Dave scratched the back of his head and gave out a somewhat nervous sigh.

“I just went over to, ummm…Vriska’s place. You know. Being friends and all.”

[ectodouchebag]

John quirked an eyebrow. “You just spontaneously went to Vriska’s house because you felt like it?” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t think so. Something’s up.”

[instagramstrider]

“There is something up and it’s called the ceiling.”

[ectodouchebag]

"Dave, I swear to God," John groaned. "I don't see why you can't just TELL me."

[ectodouchebag]

“Aw Janey, you’re usually so committed to things. Y’probably should’ve done that with your friends too,” he commented. “Y’know, maybe they want to talk to you. Maybe you should just give ‘em a chance, yeah?” He smiles to himself. “What’s the worst that could happen? They ignore you? Well you’re already not talking to them so what’s the difference?”

[thesebluepompoms-blog]

“Well…I guess you’re right. I should socialize with them more often. Hehe. I just need to find the right time to talk to them when I’m not busy. Heck, I’ll talk to them at school tomorrow. It sure sucks to only talk to the cheer squad and just talk the usual topics. Who got fucked first or who has a boyfriend and here I am like I’ve never done those things before.” She laughed. It’s funny that she also doesn’t talk to her cousin often, though, it was nice talking to him.

[ectodouchebag]

"Janey Janey, prim and proper, never got her cherry poppered," John chanted teasingly. He laughed. "But yeah, you should definitely talk to them. Cheerleaders aren't exactly known for being the best at interesting conversation." He sighed. He and Jane used to spend so much time together as kids. He wonder what happened. "Hey so, dad is coming home soon. It's been a while so he said he was gonna make a big dinner. You should come over."

[ectodouchebag]

“Intimidated? How so? I mean, they’re your friends. They shouldn’t intimidate you. You’re a cool chica and they’re pretty cool too, so I don’t see the problem.”

[thesebluepompoms-blog]

“I NEVER talk to them. They’ll think I’m ignoring them and then when I have the chance to start a conversation I just think that they’ll ignore me back and…yeah. That’s what I think is the worst case scenario.”

[ectodouchebag]

"Aw Janey, you're usually so committed to things. Y'probably should've done that with your friends too," he commented. "Y'know, maybe they want to talk to you. Maybe you should just give 'em a chance, yeah?" He smiles to himself. "What's the worst that could happen? They ignore you? Well you're already not talking to them so what's the difference?"

[ectodouchebag]

“My drinking habits are top secret, thank you very much!” he said indignantly. He frowned. “A bad connection? How come?”

[thesebluepompoms-blog]

“Pfft. I’ll find out by asking Roxy. I’ll. Hunt. You. Down.” She chuckled but it trailed off,”Well…I’ve been busy. And I want to talk to them it’s just I feel so fucking intimidated by them sometimes.”

[ectodouchebag]

"Intimidated? How so? I mean, they're your friends. They shouldn't intimidate you. You're a cool chica and they're pretty cool too, so I don't see the problem."

[ectodouchebag]

John shrugged, even though Jane couldn’t see him. “Not a whole lot, I guess. I’ve been hanging out with Dave more, which is great. Not too long ago, I got drunk and kissed Karkat. It was a big problem. Things were cleared up though.” He sighed. “And you and your friends?”

[thesebluepompoms-blog]

“That’s great. Wait, when did you get drunk?! Did Lalonde give you something or spike you? She’s cool and all but wow, too much drinks.” She giggled when she heard ‘kissed Karkat’. Oh, the thoughts in her head right now. She lost her giggle and thought about her friends. She didn’t have any time to talk or even hang out with them and she felt bad for not having any communication. “Urgh, my friends? I kind of have a bad connection with them.”

[ectodouchebag]

"My drinking habits are top secret, thank you very much!" he said indignantly. He frowned. "A bad connection? How come?"

[thesebluepompoms-blog]

There goes her Taylor Swift ringtone. She quickly picked up her phone and answered,”Hello?” She looked around her neighborhood, normal as usual, and it didn’t seem to bother her.

[ectodouchebag]

“Hey cuz,” John greeted. “Howya been? Are you as bored as I am, because BOY am I bored.”

[thesebluepompoms-blog]

“Fine. I’m pretty bored too. Like, that’s anything new. So, John has anything happened in your crowd of friends?” She brushed her hair with her hands.

[ectodouchebag]

John shrugged, even though Jane couldn't see him. "Not a whole lot, I guess. I've been hanging out with Dave more, which is great. Not too long ago, I got drunk and kissed Karkat. It was a big problem. Things were cleared up though." He sighed. "And you and your friends?"

[thesebluepompoms-blog]

There goes her Taylor Swift ringtone. She quickly picked up her phone and answered,”Hello?” She looked around her neighborhood, normal as usual, and it didn’t seem to bother her.

[ectodouchebag]

"Hey cuz," John greeted. "Howya been? Are you as bored as I am, because BOY am I bored."

[thesebluepompoms-blog]

Jane sighed and looked up at the sky. Spending the weekend outside was not okay. But since it felt so boring inside the house she had to go out and at least taste fresh air. Even if she did a lot at school.

“Call…Dirk…?”

No, she didn’t want to bother him and she’s just too much of a hottie for him. For that’s what she thought.

“Rox—No.”

She didn’t talk to her.

“Jake?”

….Nope.

She sighed and awaited for someone to call or at least call someone.

[ectodouchebag]

John was bored out of his mind. Clearly he needed to do something. Sitting on his bed, looking around at the contents of his bedroom, his eyes fell upon an old photograph. It was of him and Jane. Two grinning kids. He smiled. It had been awhile since he had talked to her. He picked up his phone and dialed Jane's number in. Time to talk to his dear cousin.

[ectodouchebag]

De-douche Day

[ectodouchebag]

“Yes. I really truly do.”

[instagramstrider]

“Umm, weeeeeeelll…” Dave scratched the back of his head and gave out a somewhat nervous sigh.

“I just went over to, ummm…Vriska’s place. You know. Being friends and all.”

[ectodouchebag]

John quirked an eyebrow. "You just spontaneously went to Vriska's house because you felt like it?" He rolled his eyes. "I don't think so. Something's up."

[ectodouchebag]

De-douche Day

[ectodouchebag]

John groaned. “Was is so important that it couldn’t have waited until I left?” he asked.

[instagramstrider]

“…Just some stuff,” he mumbled.

[ectodouchebag]

“You’re gonna have to fill me in a little more there, pal.” He crossed his arms.

[instagramstrider]

“Come on dude, do you really have to know?”

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[ectodouchebag]

"Yes. I really truly do."

[ectodouchebag]

De-douche Day

[instagramstrider]

“Sorry for being spontaneously sketchy. It just so happens that I needed to tell someone something.” he said with a small shrug.

[ectodouchebag]

John groaned. “Was is so important that it couldn’t have waited until I left?” he asked.

[instagramstrider]

“…Just some stuff,” he mumbled.

[ectodouchebag]

"You're gonna have to fill me in a little more there, pal." He crossed his arms.

[ectodouchebag]

animightkilljake started following you

[animightkilljake-blog]

I’m not a genius either, you know. Not exactly.

[ectodouchebag]

maybe not, but you’re a hella lot smarter than i am, bookwise at least.

whatdya’ mean ‘not exactly’ though?

[animightkilljake-blog]

I’m saying that even though I don’t qualify for ‘genius’ status, I’m still smart as hell.

[ectodouchebag]

well duh.

but anyway... my cousin jake hasn't been giving you too much trouble, has he?

[ectodouchebag]

animightkilljake started following you

[animightkilljake-blog]

I’m honestly surprised. Good for you, Egbert. Maybe there’s a brain in there yet.

[ectodouchebag]

wow rude.

i’m plenty smart, just not the same way as people like you or captor.

[animightkilljake-blog]

I’m not a genius either, you know. Not exactly.

[ectodouchebag]

maybe not, but you're a hella lot smarter than i am, bookwise at least.

whatdya' mean 'not exactly' though?

[ectodouchebag]

De-douche Day

[ectodouchebag]

  He rolled his eyes. “You’re being oh so informative, Dave.” He draped the scarves around Dave’s shoulders. “It’s all pretty sketchy, you just rushing off to see a friend spontaneously, leaving me here in YOUR house by myself.”

[instagramstrider]

“Sorry for being spontaneously sketchy. It just so happens that I needed to tell someone something.” he said with a small shrug.

[ectodouchebag]

John groaned. "Was is so important that it couldn't have waited until I left?" he asked.