I’m here again. Walking down this same alleyway that’s devoid of all positivity, tears streaming my cheek as I reluctantly choose to sit on the skin-numbing hard floor. I’m now stinging from a sharp coldness that has damped my clothes and ratted hair. I seem to be choking again, the lack of oxygen from holding my breath as I attempt to stay calm is starting to make me dizzy, the fear stifling my screams as old memories flash back, this same place, same clothes, but just a different person, inside, anyway.
The rain is falling now, my tears matching the rhythm of the droplets on the ground, a puddle presenting an ugly reflection of my blotchy, saddened face. Shadows walking by without a glance, each creating a threatening thud that causes me to cut my breathing until they’ve passed. Leaning up against this breaking wall, the images hunt their way back inside my head and cause pressure to build within my chest.
A scatter startles me, I scan the darkness helplessly for any sign of movement, but lose myself from the touch of the soaked up leaves beneath my hand, digging deeper I notice the sharp scratching of stones and concrete slice along my flesh, and welcome the faint relief I get from this pain. Emotions bottled inside I find some release in tormenting my own inner demons by struggling to worsen my frustration, then feeling an eruption of pity flow through my mind from feeling so lost. Old memories flood through like a wave of destruction, breaking every sense of happiness and hope that were stored for a dark day, nothing left now but my sorrow bleeding through in faint scratches and blood marks on my sleeve.
A whimper of exhaustion escapes through my chapped lips, a useless cry for help, I shiver from the wind that entwines around my body. After searching for some kind of hope, I force my tired eyes shut, only to find more darkness. It always followed me, wherever I went. Even if it wasn't physical darkness, it was always in my mind. Whenever I closed my eyes images of memories never passed me, but instead I’d be swallowed by this painful darkness.
And then I heard the footsteps echoing closer and closer. I’m weak but I stand, staggering further down the alleyway in hopes to find somewhere to hide. BANG. A fiery fist slams against the side of my cheek, and I land on the ground once again. The tall dark figure beating me to a pulp. I want to cry for help, but my vocal chords just wont let me.
I’m really at my lowest.. aren’t I?