Wingin' It

Local Queer Babe Doing Her Best™

[soothifying-sounds-asmr]

Paint stripe drawdown by goldenpaints

[filmnoirsbian]

I have so much fondness & respect for female musicians who just wear whatever wild tacky shit they want onstage……

[filmnoirsbian]

The energy….

[tealfruit]

I’m making bread

[tealfruit]

bread boys

[tealfruit]

my sons!

THEY’RE DELICIOUS

[tealfruit]

frog bread was tagged explicit. reblog the forbidden frog bread for luck and power

[weavemama]

in this house we validate bisexuals always and forever

[tredlocity]

tattletales are lawful evil

[tredlocity]

Yes, Kevin, I brought my Game Boy to school. Did it bring you joy when you told the teacher? Did it satisfy your bloodlust when she confiscated it from me? You are no paragon of virtue. You are a beast. A vile monstrosity who feeds on suffering. The laws of man may celebrate your deeds, but higher powers may say otherwise.

[basic-banshee]

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

[basic-banshee]

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

[victorxaxvale]

Well, which one is it going to be?

[basic-banshee]

And so it begins

[contentcrisis]

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

[basic-banshee]

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

[basic-banshee]

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

[basic-banshee]

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

[nippon-com]

Japan’s vast assortment of mascots all share a similar problem.

Via @GorillaGorillax

[hungwy]

Hot cider is so freaking good…

[hungwy]

YES agreed

[tilikonisosorum-deactivated2021]

this is your own post

[hungwy]

[evilsupplyco]

“Brain forge ain’ firing today,” the dwarf grumbled into his beard as he poured two mugs of tea.

“Do you want to talk about it?” the gnome asked softly, tilting his head.

“Nope.”

“Do you want to sit together for awhile?”

Frowning in comfort, the dwarf quietly, gently, “Yep.”

[callmebliss]

OP your url is inaccurate

[brummbart-deactivated20181221]

Wasserspeier am Freiburger Münster

[the-stickers]

WINTER IS A BAD TIME.

[soup-that-is-2-hot]

What it feels like to chew 5 Gum

[gallusrostromegalus]

IT’S MY FAVORITE GARGOYLE BACK AGAIN FOR WINTERTIME.

[allthingshyper]

I want to know the exact conversation that lead to the creation of this abomination

[gallusrostromegalus]

Ye olde German architect: “ok, it’s time to put in the rainspouts and last night I was out with the lads and Hans had too much and the point is I had the FUNNIEST idea…” *Holds up drawing*

Ye olde German Architect Supervisor: * snorts beer out of his nose.* “YES. BUILD IT IMMEDIATELY.”

[charliecoxbf]

That’s gussy babe

[earthgirl2788]

Sooooo I just came back from studying in Freiburg and went on a tour of the Münster with a historian who knew all of the insider secrets and the story is even better than you think. 

It took more than 300 years to build the Freiburger Münster (1200s-1500s), so they went through a lot of architects and people who paid those architects. Some of the patrons were dicks and one of those dicks lived in a house right next to the Münster. The asshat kept demanding they work faster and changed his mind every five hours about what he wanted and THEN he refused to pay the architects because he wasn’t happy with what they’d done. 

That really pissed the builders off so in retaliation, the head architect built the butt gargoyle facing his house so that every morning for the rest of his life, when the dick looked out his window at the Münster, he’d have to look at a gargoyle butt.

So, the defecating gargoyle is a big fat “fuck you” to someone’s dick of a boss that has survived 500 years and two world wars 

[yveinthesky-deactivated20190127]

*standing ovation*

[terukie-deactivated20190831]

everyone say thank you to gay rights paddington

[william-snekspeare]

the second panel was originally going to have words but I decided it was better without them

[intj-confessions]

See, JK? Sometimes less is more.

[william-snekspeare]

hi this is so FUCKING funny

[gender-critical-appspot]

“Let him die” spaketh the rabbis.

[ahsadler]

entitled dude: i’m gonna die if i don’t have sex with this woman

his doctors: no really he’ll die

rabbis:

[finalfantasyvii]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[tybalt-tisk]

Suburbitank.

[nonasuch]

Yesterday I overheard someone talking about how he was taking classes at the University of Maryland because they offer free tuition if you’re over 60. 

My brain IMMEDIATELY began scripting a screwball comedy in which a broke millennial who desperately want to finish his long-abandoned degree but is drowning in student debt pretends to be a senior citizen in order to attend college for free.

I’m picturing someone Channing Tatumesque, applying age makeup every morning before he heads off to class. It’s sort of a cross between 21 Jump Street and Mrs. Doubtfire. He keeps forgetting which hip is supposed to be his bad one. His classmates laugh every time he uses slang. There’s definitely a scene where he attends a college party and busts it up on the dance floor.

He catches the eye of a fellow returning student, a woman in her 50s, but she thinks he’s like 70 and she’s already buried one husband, you know? She’s not interested in doing that again. When his charade unravels (hilariously) at the end of the movie, though, she finds out he’s actually like 30 and has abs you could bounce a quarter off. And he’s still super into her. And really, maybe it’s time she gave May-December romance a chance.

[nonasuch]

Okay so to refine this concept a little:

Our Hero is stuck in a job where he keep seeing people get promoted past him because they have a 4-year degree and he doesn’t. He can’t afford to go back to school until he finishes paying off his student loans for the degree he’s one semester from completing. If he got the promotion he wants he could pay them off a lot quicker. But he can’t get the promotion without the degree.

Along comes a clerical error in his almost-alma mater’s records which lists his birth year as 1948 instead of 1984. He gets a call from them about their “free tuition for seniors” program. “Wow, that sounds amazing!” he says. “I’ll be sure to tell my, uh, grandpa, as soon as he gets home.”

It’s one semester. If he can keep up the charade, he’ll have the degree, get the promotion, pay off the student loans. Hell, if they figure it out after the fact and come after him for the tuition, he’ll be able to afford it by then. He just needs to pass as a 70-year-old until graduation. How hard could it be?

(also, someone in the notes suggested “Senior Year” for a title, which is PERFECT.)

[but-deans-back-tho]

*pounds fists on table* I DEMAND THAT THIS MOVIE BE MADE

[itswalky]

you guys there’s a new nancy cartoonist and she’s amazing

[skarchomp]

[tredlocity]

[ayellowbirds]

[tharook]

[thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021]

this art style with modern references is the most jarring thing I’ve ever seen

[imsoweirdimnotanitimanith-deact]

it’s so raw and I love it