RAZIEL could feel everything acutely, as if his senses were stronger than ever. She didn’t grab for him, she didn’t put her arms around him. She didn’t keep the kiss as long as he’d have liked. She was pulling away.
Soulful blue eyes studied her as she did, her words making him feel raw inside. It was stupid, it was so stupid, but what did he expect? He knew she had one foot out the door when it came to this place. That she wanted to leave, to run back to her mother, who didn’t even seem to care about her.
He felt the stupidity rising up in him too, as he wrapped her up in his arms to keep her from wrenching away, both snug around her waist to keep her close. “Don’t shut me out. You know this isn’t just some kiss. You feel it. This means something.”
She feels suddenly suffocated as his grip tightens on her and she begins to squirm like she needs to get out. Hands press against his shoulders and a look of panic crosses over her face. She doesn’t like being restricted the way she is and will do what she can to get out.
“I didn’t say it didn’t.”
Of course it means something. She doesn’t want to deny it. She’s just confused. Her heart is pounding so loud in her ears, her body so tense against his grip until she can’t stand it any longer. Body presses into his, relying on him to support her weight as she relaxes her muscles. Arms wrap around his neck and she buries her face in his shoulder. Only then does she begin to cry.
“I’m afraid, Raziel. I’m afraid to let myself be at home here. I’m afraid to get close to people because what if she comes back? What if my mother wants me again? What if she sweeps in and takes me away? What then? I’ll lose you... And it would hurt less if we weren’t anything to each other...”
