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@edwards-crazy-ramblings
Alright.
First things first.
Any of you weirdos call me anything outside of Eddie or Ed, I'm going to fucking shoot you. In the face.
I don't want to hear any of you goin' "Heyyy Edwardddd" or some shit like that!
Got it?
Good.
Other than that, just don't be a dick and we'll get along fine!
Now pass me a cigarette, would you?
we got plenty of time to listen!
Alright.
Okay, listen up because I'm not repeating myself
I come from a time where monsters are the majority. And when there's a majority, there's a minority.
Humans being that minority
But unlike here, rights towards humans are... More of a suggestion than anything
And let me tell you; once a law enforcement turns a blind eye to a group of people, people love taking advantage of that
So, y'know, living in that place wasn't safe for humans like me.. So I moved
Well, by "moved", I mean I found a way to be from that time to here
Timelines! They're confusing!
are you actually human?
Yeah.
If I wasn't, I wouldn't have been discriminated against!
I know, a white male using the word "discriminated"!
It's a long story!
have you died?
HAH!
Not yet!
But by the way I'm living, I know it's probably soon!
have you ever been in a dark world
Think so?
Probably when I was young and stupid...
None of my business what happens in those worlds.
what is your opinion on spaghetti?
I don't mind it, gets messy at times
hell yeah it does. mhm.
I can tell there's a sex joke in there, and honestly? I respect that
i am a sexual being.
Aren't we all!
I mean, not me
Look at me!
Don't really look like the type of guy to get laid, huh?
no, no i can picture it
don’t you worry about that
Eh I don't see it, but I respect the complement
See, I don't understand how people can be so damn hateful
Is it so hard to have some respect? Not just for people, but for yourself too!
Being so bitter all the time ain't goin' to do nothing but make a person miserable!
Is it really so hard to say "hey, I don't understand your beliefs, but I'm willing to learn"?
It ain't that damn hard!
mm, yeah
it’s like when people don’t like my wife
they are objectively wrong, but i still listen to them until they’re done talking so i can explain to them why they are wrong
Good
Leave violence for the idiots that can serve the time
Do normal, nonviolent crimes!
Like stealing!
yes i have.. never done violence 👀
As long as you don't drag me into it, I ain't hear or see nothin'
and you get a gooollllld staaaaarrrrr
Heh, thanks
what is your opinion on spaghetti?
I don't mind it, gets messy at times
hell yeah it does. mhm.
I can tell there's a sex joke in there, and honestly? I respect that
i am a sexual being.
Aren't we all!
I mean, not me
Look at me!
Don't really look like the type of guy to get laid, huh?
no, no i can picture it
don’t you worry about that
Eh I don't see it, but I respect the complement
See, I don't understand how people can be so damn hateful
Is it so hard to have some respect? Not just for people, but for yourself too!
Being so bitter all the time ain't goin' to do nothing but make a person miserable!
Is it really so hard to say "hey, I don't understand your beliefs, but I'm willing to learn"?
It ain't that damn hard!
mm, yeah
it’s like when people don’t like my wife
they are objectively wrong, but i still listen to them until they’re done talking so i can explain to them why they are wrong
Good
Leave violence for the idiots that can serve the time
Do normal, nonviolent crimes!
Like stealing!
yes i have.. never done violence 👀
As long as you don't drag me into it, I ain't hear or see nothin'
what is your opinion on spaghetti?
I don't mind it, gets messy at times
hell yeah it does. mhm.
I can tell there's a sex joke in there, and honestly? I respect that
i am a sexual being.
Aren't we all!
I mean, not me
Look at me!
Don't really look like the type of guy to get laid, huh?
no, no i can picture it
don’t you worry about that
Eh I don't see it, but I respect the complement
See, I don't understand how people can be so damn hateful
Is it so hard to have some respect? Not just for people, but for yourself too!
Being so bitter all the time ain't goin' to do nothing but make a person miserable!
Is it really so hard to say "hey, I don't understand your beliefs, but I'm willing to learn"?
It ain't that damn hard!
mm, yeah
it’s like when people don’t like my wife
they are objectively wrong, but i still listen to them until they’re done talking so i can explain to them why they are wrong
Good
Leave violence for the idiots that can serve the time
Do normal, nonviolent crimes!
Like stealing!
what is your opinion on spaghetti?
I don't mind it, gets messy at times
hell yeah it does. mhm.
I can tell there's a sex joke in there, and honestly? I respect that
i am a sexual being.
Aren't we all!
I mean, not me
Look at me!
Don't really look like the type of guy to get laid, huh?
no, no i can picture it
don’t you worry about that
Eh I don't see it, but I respect the complement
See, I don't understand how people can be so damn hateful
Is it so hard to have some respect? Not just for people, but for yourself too!
Being so bitter all the time ain't goin' to do nothing but make a person miserable!
Is it really so hard to say "hey, I don't understand your beliefs, but I'm willing to learn"?
It ain't that damn hard!
what is your opinion on spaghetti?
I don't mind it, gets messy at times
hell yeah it does. mhm.
I can tell there's a sex joke in there, and honestly? I respect that
i am a sexual being.
Aren't we all!
I mean, not me
Look at me!
Don't really look like the type of guy to get laid, huh?
Low-key thought a fight would break out between you and Harvey there
Eh I guess criminells have some sort of code
Or maybe mafiosos and gangers don't want to interfere with the other
Who said I was a 'criminell' or whatever the hell you said?
Am I suspicious of some crimes, maybe
But I ain't broken a damn law!
Not here at least!
what is your opinion on spaghetti?
I don't mind it, gets messy at times
hell yeah it does. mhm.
I can tell there's a sex joke in there, and honestly? I respect that
what is your opinion on spaghetti?
I don't mind it, gets messy at times
you got games on your phone?
I ain't got service.. Nor a phone...
......I like you so I'll fuck off before an annoyance intervenes.
[*Harvey immediately left center stage, going off to smoke somewhere discrete before Lottie yoinks him away when he somehow escaped.]
Enjoy, pal!
oh, I dont think youd be able to find hier
hier in the flower...
say, you ever been to the flower king?
Flower king..?
I don't know, maybe?
Haven't been in town much and livin' in the woods doesn't really require flowers
[*Harvey looks at Edward not with suspicion but with an uncaring annoyance, his right hand continually fiddling with a lighter.]
How much for a carton?
[*For a brief moment Dent looked at Eddy with a squint, knowing not to question jackshit.]
Ehh, it's free
I have enough to give the whole town lung cancer, HA!
