So I moved to the top percentile of most expensive cities in the US unexpectedly, and find myself doing the squidward spare change gif 24/7. As such, I’m now doing writing commissions! Some finished works are up on my ao3 if you’d like to sample them: fandoms I’m already familiar with include Outlast, Far Cry, Fallout, TF2, IASIP, Star Wars, the Yakuza Franchise, Red Dead Redemption, Grand Theft Auto, Dragon Ball, The Tolkeinverse and other such works.
Drabbles (between 500-1000) – $15
Between 1000-1500 – $20
Between 1500-2000 - $25
Between 2000-2500 – $35
Between 2500-3000 - $45
3000 and above – $55 and so on
I am willing to write NSFW, gore, whump and other such taboos. I’ll also write for fandoms I’m not apart of if asked, but I will request extra time to get acquainted with the franchise in those cases. I reserve the right to turn down commissions, though I’ll try to be polite about it. DM me on any of my accounts for info.
I put questions JE Sawyer answered in his Formspring about the Legion and Caesar into one place for myself.
2010 and 2011:
• Question: Caesar has openly stated that he found that learning tribal dialects is a waste of time. So how was he able to contact and order the White Legs, who speak a very foreign language?
JE Sawyer: Caesar doesn't have to be the one doing the speaking. He has a lot of agents, and many of them know a variety of tribal languages.
• Question: Apologies - didn't intend to lecture. I believe that the item distribution in the gameworld should uncompromisingly follow the characterization of various factions to the exclusion of all other concerns. (Eg. Caesar explicitly states his disdain for tech.)
JE Sawyer: I understand your point, but factions are made of up human beings, and human beings make compromises -- or are inconsistent in their behavior. While Caesar lectures you on his disdain for tech, he's sitting ten feet away from a personal Auto-Doc. He segregates women from the Legion (resulting in a heavy prejudice from his soldiers), but he has little problem with using a female Courier as a valuable agent.
• Question: What's the premise for Caesar's Legion being so sexist, esp. in a world where Ranger Stella can mangle bodies daily in the Arena? Is it just breeding issues? Cause even the abominably sexist Romans were not *that* sexist, and Caesar is a smart man.
JE Sawyer: Breeding issues are pretty huge in cultures that took a big step back from infant mortality progress made in the last 100-200 years. Prior to the last few centuries, infant mortality was often around 50%-ish. Child mortality (prior to age 12) was about 60%. Those are pretty awful odds of reaching adulthood. Remember that Caesar's Legion is basically a roving army that continually breaks down and absorbs tribes that it conquers. That can only go on for so long, and Legionaries who are indoctrinated from birth are even more loyal than adolescents who are integrated. Breeding new generations of Legionaries is vital for the Legion's continued existence. Even though breeding is incredibly important in the Legion, there isn't any concept of family outside of the Legion's structure. All of the places where the player encounters the Legion are forward camps where direct military service is given the most weight and is of the most immediate importance. Because only males are involved in that service, they look down upon females even though it's incredibly short-sighted.
• Question: On Caesar- If he is only interested in protecting women from war, why are they not given the same personal freedom as soldiers? It's one thing to not allow them to serve out of preservation, but EVERYTHING points to all Femalegionares being slaves.(cont.)
JE Sawyer: Soldiers in Caesar's Legion don't have personal freedom. They "get" to fight and die for Caesar. It's not a volunteer military, though many legionaries are born or raised into it, so they are effectively brainwashed.
• Question: Even in ancient Rome, women were treated with some respect and had lives of their own. Why are they forced into slave labor in the Legion? Wouldn't it be better for both moral and publicity if they worked out of their own drive?
JE Sawyer: Everyone is forced into service under the Legion. Morale among legionaries is good (because most are raised into it) and he doesn't really give a shit about publicity.
• Question: Just how expendable are troops to the Legion? Roman tactics involved 2 lines of fresh meat, then a third line (Triarii) that would devastate the opponents that have tired themselfs killing the first 2. Does NV's Legion do similar?
JE Sawyer: That's exactly what the Recruits, Primes, and Veterans are.
• Question: Reducing women to breeding material is, uh, still misogyny? Not really "another" reason, that. "Women can't go to war; they need to make babies" is something women hear today, and it's plain old sexism. No need for new words. Caesar's still gross/inept.
JE Sawyer: All members of Caesar's society are forced into specific roles. It's kind of bizarre to say that reducing women to breeders (which select legionaries are also forced to participate in, by arrangement) is misogynistic but forcing all able-bodied men to fight or die is... apparently not misandric? It's not like Caesar is giving men (who, again, with the exception of the Blackfoots, were either directly enslaved as children or born to enslaved women, never knowing their fathers) the option to fight or raise ponies.
• Question: . . . Except there's nothing in the setting that suggests women are *valued* as mothers in the way the militaristic culture rewards fighting men. They're slaves/property. A few more lines from Caesar doesn't "separate but equal" make.
JE Sawyer: How are the fighting men rewarded (other than with more fighting responsibilities)? Don't conflate historical Rome with Caesar's Legion. There are no "Roman triumphs" for legionaries in the latter. I never suggested that they were separate but equal, only that it's a bizarre double-standard to insist on misogyny alone (which is quite different from "simple" sexism against females since it demands a level of hatred) considering that men are being forced (and, in fact, raised solely) to kill and die. If Lucius were to "retire", it would be through his own death. Caesar doesn't hate women. He doesn't think they are incapable of doing things other than breeding. He has no problem with employing a female Courier to be his agent in the Mojave. But he does want his female slaves to breed more legionaries (as they are the only ones who CAN do it) and he wants his male slaves to fight. The females who can't breed are manual labor slaves (or killed), just as the males who can't fight are manual labor slaves (or killed).
• Question: Could Caesar really win a war of attrition with the NCR, or is he just deluded by an environment of yes-men into believing they have the numbers for ancient tactics to still work when the enemy is just cutting down your front lines with gunfire?
JE Sawyer: Primes, Veterans, and even some Recruits use powerful firearms. Most of the legionaries who use melee weapons are early/weak scrubs. It's true that some Centurions and most Praetorian Guards also use melee/unarmed weapons, but as people who assault those characters in close quarters (where they are often encountered) can probably attest, it's not much of an impediment for them. As to whether or not Caesar has the numbers to ultimately win (and hold power) in the long run, that's unknown.
• Question: For a tribal, is it better to be apart of Caesar's Legion or to stay in the tribe?
JE Sawyer: It depends on the tribe. Clearly the White Legs think being part of the Legion would be awesome compared to slowly falling apart in Utah.
• Question: How can you say there is no sexism when Siri herself says that the men can take advantage of any woman? Even Lanius is implied to be a violent rapist. Seriously.
JE Sawyer: "How can you say there is no sexism" I didn't. Sexism is different than misogyny and misandry, and Caesar is (quite clearly) different from ordinary legionaries.
• Question: But Caesar specifically constructed the Legion society, so it's hard to believe a guy who recognizes women can be as capable, or moreso, than men would ensure that no capable women could be of any use to his Legion beyond acting as semen recepticles.
JE Sawyer: You know what men are not as capable of doing as women? Giving birth to children. I think it is really bizarre that so many people think that creating new legionaries is a lowly thing and fighting/dying is noble and awesome. Women aren't celebrated for creating more legionaries as women were celebrated in Nazi Germany...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross_of_Honor_of_the_German_Mother . . . but there's also very little to suggest that Caesar celebrates individual legionaries beyond promoting them to higher ranks. Caesar's Legion is not the Roman Republic (nor the Roman Empire); it's a roving army comprised primarily of reconditioned slaves or children born to slaves. Non-Legion people live in areas controlled by the Legion, but those folks aren't *part* of the Legion (e.g. Dale Barton).
• Question: One token Nazi medal for pure aryan mothers hardly balances the the vast, VAST majority of male-dominated civilizations throughout history that have treated women as sub-human or property. Men in the Legion have power, women don't have any.
JE Sawyer: Why are people so obsessed with the "balance" between the different gendered roles under the Legion? I've never said it's balanced. But there is very clearly a trend among people questioning the Legion to project the concept of military service as a noble endeavor (for which one is rewarded, no less) onto legionnaires when it's never presented in that way. They are slave soldiers. Service is not voluntary, they can't retire, there are no parades and pats on the back for them. They aren't Roman patrician officers who are going to retire to a Tuscan estate when they turn 50. The only power that male legionaries have is to serve Caesar well enough to be promoted to a position of more responsibility. Nothing really comes with that additional responsibility other than increased scrutiny and better equipment (to match the increased danger). Most of my commentary on this topic has been to highlight the following:
Caesar's Legion is subdivided (by Caesar) based on gendered/sexed roles. These subdivisions are sexist (inherently), but they are neither misogynistic nor misandric.
Legionaries under Caesar are not like Roman patrician officers. They are not part of a larger society that celebrates and rewards military service with things like conference of honorific titles, triumphs, etc. All legionaries are slave soldiers, period.
The opinions of individual legionaries are not the opinions of Caesar. These individuals may make misogynistic comments, but those comments did not originate with Caesar, nor is there any reason to believe that he shares them, given his willingness to employ a female courier.
If you want to weigh the individual horror of rape and forced child-bearing against forced military service for life, knock yourself out. It's two terrible ways to go through life.
• Question: Sawyer, it's not that childbirth is lowly, it's that being *raped* against your will and forced to carry children is hardly good times. + a pacifist stance doesn't translate well into a setting for a FPS where every level brings shiny new killing methods.
JE Sawyer: I never said it's "good times". What I object to is elevating slave legionaries to the level of (patrician) Roman legionaries in an effort to emphasize how women alone have it bad and men are living the high life. They both have crappy lives, neither have a choice in the matter, and I'm not particularly interested in weighing the depths of misery by sex.
• Question: Why use Caesar's Legion to represent the worst of of Roman society? It all feels like a loose facade for an asshole to be an asshole.
JE Sawyer: You may be on to something.
• Question: Given what you've shared on CL doesn't that imply that the Legion may very well implode on itself if the troops have nothing to look forward to other then ultimately death for Caesar?
JE Sawyer: Many players have suggested that Caesar's Legion does not have long-term prospects based on a variety of factors.
• Question: I think you gave the legion too many guns or at least more guns than their characterization would have us believe. Equipment wise, the only notable difference between a legionary and a trooper is that the legionary uses melee AND guns instead of just guns
JE Sawyer: And most legionaries above the rank of recruit once had to survive and succeed with little more than machetes and throwing spears. The use of "good" equipment is something that is earned in the Legion. Most recruits have to succeed through speed and tenacity because their gear isn't going to do the work for them.
• Question: But it seems as though Caesar, ideologically speaking, does not want legionary gear to do the work for them regardless of rank. Shouldn't the veterans upgrade to better melee and throwing weapons? Instead of point-and-click technological problem solvers?
JE Sawyer: Yes because Caesar subordinates a hard-line ideology for practical concerns in certain circumstances, especially if a strategy proves to be flawed. E.g. having his officers shot to pieces by NCR snipers in an open environment, say the span of a long dam.
• Question: So, wait. Caesar, sanctioning rape and in some cases cannibalism, slaughtering whole cultures that don't conform, gets to stay at neutral karma, but Moore, strictly for being "petty," is evil? Not trolling, I'm genuinely just blown away by that assertion.
JE Sawyer: No, it's her pettiness in the context of slaughtering whole cultures. If she were petty and intentionally spilled beer on a Great Khan's shoes, that would probably not earn her as much karmic debt as trying to have the Great Khans' whole tribe annihilated. A case can be made that Caesar should have an evil (or very evil) alignment, but he also exists in a bubble that insulates him from what he's doing. Caesar does what he does because he feels that it is contributing to a better society. With Moore, she is clearly motivated by hatred and spite. Motivation matters a lot to (many) people. It's why, right or wrong, we have self-defense laws, hate crime laws, crime of passion laws, and criminal defenses that are based on the defendant being mentally ill. It's also why some people are willing to "forgive" military commanders like William T. Sherman or Curtis LeMay. http://youtu.be/hOCYcgOnWUM Short version: moral relativism lol alignments lol
• Question: So by the logic of Caesar in a bubble Hitler wasn't really evil?
JE Sawyer: Caesar has more in common with a character like Mr. Kurtz in Heart of Darkness than he has in common with Adolf Hitler. Hitler's relative isolation and ascent to power don't even compare to Caesar's. But hey, why waste an opportunity to bring up Hitler?
• Question: Can you explain the similarities between Mr. Kurtz, and Caesar?
JE Sawyer: Both are men of intelligence and education who traveled from a life of relative comfort, technological wizardry, and "civilization" into a wilderness full of warring people with relatively low education and a relatively "primitive" lifestyle. Both rose to power and were essentially deified for their intelligence, knowledge and leadership capabilities. Both cut off communication with the outside world and lived in their (until now) remote, savage kingdoms, using the most brutal means possible to deal with rare instances of dissent. Both have an "unusual" way of looking at the world due to their cultural isolation. Unlike Mr. Kurtz, Caesar's reign continues for a long, long time.
• Question: Speaking of Kurtz, was that character in any way a direct influence for Graham in Honest Hearts?
JE Sawyer: Only slightly. Graham and Caesar were in it together, in different ways. While Caesar never had a radical shift in his approach and ideology, Joshua Graham had a slow slide followed by a dramatic fall and "rebirth". Joshua Graham was inspired by characters like Rodrigo Mendoza from The Mission and T.E. Lawrence. That said, Honest Hearts has a lot to do with personal motivations and why being honest to yourself about them is important. In many ways, Caesar is dispassionate -- or at least less passionate than someone like Joshua Graham, or even Lanius. Caesar is an odd sort of philosopher; Joshua Graham is a zealot. Caesar is also hypocritical or at least "bends" his own rules when it suits him. Joshua has to lie to himself to rationalize what he does. He can't live with an internal contradiction. They are also very different types of leaders. Caesar leads by telling people what to do and wowing (or terrorizing) them with the results. Joshua Graham leads by personally doing things that (typically) terrify both his allies and his enemies. As Joshua says himself, he's effectively a war chief of the Dead Horses. He's not the sort of guy you ask for opinions on how to repair a road or develop infrastructure.
• Question: How much was cut from the legion quest paths? They seem remarkably spare compared to the quests of other factions in the game, and of course the NCR, which is their supposed counterpoint. Was Ulysses' content originally meant to supplement the legion?
JE Sawyer: Several Legion camps on the east side of the Colorado River were cut before they entered development. The order in which we built the Mojave Wasteland radiated out from the middle of the map, with areas near the edges being built much later. Unfortunately, the Colorado River (save the Fort and Lanius' camp, which are self-contained) became the logical division line for content when time was running out. And yes, Ulysses-as-companion was designed to give more pro-Legion sentiment and content.
• Question: When you meet Joshua Graham, he mentions meeting the Dead Horses when he was the Malpais Legate. If the Dead Horses had contact with Caesar's Legion, why weren't they absorbed into the Legion since Edward (Caesar) did that to every other tribe they met?
JE Sawyer: Tribes aren't absorbed instantly. Joshua Graham made contact with the Dead Horses but never got around to incorporating them into the Legion.
• Question: Who was responsible for the discussion of Hegelian dialectics at The Fort? I know Fallout is a cut above, but I was really surprised to see something like that from a mainstream game. It's nice to see games that don't treat you've got a little baby brain.
JE Sawyer: Thanks. I asked John Gonzalez (who wrote Caesar) to include a discussion with Caesar in which Caesar used his interpretation of Hegelian dialectics to justify the existence of the Legion, his drive to conquer the NCR, and his vision of a brighter future for the Legion as a sort of reborn Roman Empire following the fall of the corrupt Roman Republic (NCR).
• Question: How old do you reckon the burned man is?
JE Sawyer: He and Caesar were both young men (Joshua Graham had just started missionary work) when they met, so that should give you a rough timeframe.
• Question: It seems New Vegas is mainly about history repeating itself. From Caesar vs the Republic to the events of HH. Is the concept of history repeating, or parodying itself your side of the development process? Explain.
JE Sawyer: One of the themes that materialized over the course of New Vegas' development was "creating the new world in the image of the old world". Caesar interprets this the most literally, but a large number of individuals and groups are caught up in the same idea.
• Question: Just how much did Graham buy into the Roman schtick in his days as the Legate? It seemed that at the least he kept his own name rather than changing it into something Latin. Wouldn't Caesar/Edward have a problem with him not playing along?
JE Sawyer: You may notice a trend of Joshua Graham retaining much more independence, despite his slow descent into darkness, than Legate Lanius. When you consider that Joshua is one of the only other people in the Legion from a background of high technology and education, the differences between him and Lanius (or any other Legion officer) are obvious. He possesses most of Caesar's "special" knowledge of technology in addition to many subjects with which Caesar was never that familiar. In many ways, Joshua was something of a threat to Caesar even before Hoover Dam.
• Question: How come Joshua Grayham pronounce Caesar in anglo version,instead of classical latin one (Like most Legion soldiers do)?
JE Sawyer: Because Joshua Graham learned the name "Caesar" long before the Legion came along. Also, Joshua Graham doesn't really care about Caesar's rules anymore
• Question: Why is that Joshua Graham does not wear Legion armors in the flashbacks ? Was it to make him easier to identify ? Why not give him a Legate armor in this case?
JE Sawyer: Lanius' armor seemed inappropriate for Graham. Though it's unlikely that Joshua would have worn the same clothes then that he does when you meet him in Honest Hearts, there weren't a lot of other appropriate clothes for him and his outfit does make him stand out as particularly unusual -- which, even among the Legion, he was.
• Question: I started playing New Vegas as a "might makes right" character expecting to follow the Legion, but it ends up they have a strange moral code that doesn't really fit with, so I went independent. What is a one sentence character summary for a Legionnaire?
JE Sawyer: True to Caesar.
• Question: Were you honestly expecting such a negative reception for Caesar's Legion?
JE Sawyer: I don't really think there has been a tremendously negative reaction to Caesar's Legion. Some people really hate various aspects of the Legion but most people either don't seem to care or like the Legion. I'd rather have people show strong opinions about a well-defined enemy than have everyone shrug their shoulders at Generic Bad Dude Faction #825.
• Question: Doesn't your answer kind of implies that Caesar's Legion is "non-generic" bad guy faction? It kinda clashes with your promises of moral grayness.
JE Sawyer: Caesar's Legion is positioned as a faction that regularly does brutal things with the belief (Caesar's belief, anyway) that it will eventually lead to a much better, more stable, future. NCR is positioned as a faction that regularly does good things but systemically "loses" causes and pushes people around through neglect, bureaucratic inefficiency, and petty jealousy/spite. The player's first encounters with each group are intentionally "bad guy"/"good guy" to set up an expectation that changes over time. While it well may be that people end F:NV believing that Caesar's Legion is the best solution to the problems in the Mojave Wasteland, I don't think many folks walk away thinking, "Misogynist slaver tyrants are really cool, good folks." And honestly, what I say outside of the context of the game doesn't really have any bearing on what you think or what any player thinks. In the game, you're given the option to fully support the Legion's conquest of New Vegas/the Mojave Wasteland.
• Question: How is it that Joshua Graham doesn't know Lanius and has only heard rumors about him?
JE Sawyer: Lanius was Joshua Graham's replacement, so even if there was some overlap between their time in the Legion, they weren't in close contact.
• Question: why do the Legionnaires address the pc with 'ave' ? debent hic solus Caesar aut Centuris loquere. To 'degenerates like myself' they should say Salve, wahr nicht? Was this purposefully done? just as the variations in Latin pronunciation among legionaires?
JE Sawyer: I don't see why they would use "salve" instead of "ave". "Ave" is a pretty neutral/flexible form of address. Variations in pronunciation among legionaries were usually due to errors during recording.
• Question: Ok, really, what's the deal with some people pronouncing Ceasar's legion "Kaesar" and other people pronouncing it "Seesar" why does this happen, and what's the proper pronounciation?
JE Sawyer: Most Legion folk pronounce it using classical Latin pronunciation (kai-zar) because that is how they learned the name from Caesar. Most non-Legion people (and a few ex-Legion people, like Joshua Graham) use the ecclesiastical/Catholic pronunciation.
• Question: http://forums.bethsoft.com/index.php?/topic/1245470-ashur-and-caesar/ Ashur was a minor character in a DLC. Caesar is one of the major antagonists in Fallout: New Vegas and has tons of opportunities to explains his views. Reflect, Josh, reflect.
JE Sawyer: Ashur is an interesting character. The point of Ashur is also much different than the point of Caesar. I don't want to speak on behalf of John Gonzalez (who wrote Caesar), but while you are not necessarily supposed to DISlike Caesar, it was not our intention to make Caesar someone who is easy to like, nor his autocratic rule something that you react to by saying, "Oh, well it's totally justified." If a person says, "I don't like Caesar," I wonder if that person doesn't like Caesar as a character or doesn't like Caesar as person. If you don't like Caesar as a person, that's not surprising. He's pretty unlikable for a variety of reasons. He is a domineering tyrant who runs things in a way where he is effectively unchallenged, and it produces a narrow vision in him. No one in the Legion *debates* Caesar, and he has ruled through brutality for so long that it's now just the way things work in Legion territory. Ultimately, Caesar is an educated tyrant living in an echo chamber of his own creation. Despite having a long-term vision for the future, he is quite short-sighted. If you were expecting Caesar to be grey and found him to be black, I'd argue that he's still grey, but he's intentionally a very dark grey. Tamerlane and Charles Taylor also had reasons for doing the things they did, but it doesn't make the things they did any less terrible. On a related note, I've written before that I believe the gender roles in the Legion were not effectively communicated in the game. Through Legionaries, it is portrayed as misogyny, which was never the rationale I had in mind for Caesar's motivations. Caesar wanted women to stay out of battle because he wanted to produce as many Legionaries as possible as quickly as possible. It wasn't about the fighting (or other) capabilities of women, but the simple fact that women are the only ones who can bear children, so he wanted them doing that as much as possible. Unfortunately, I don't believe Caesar ever says anything about this directly, so the player is left with the very misogynistic statements of various Legionaries. It's still reprehensible, but for a different reason.
• Question: No ghouls or supermutants in Ceasar's Legion . . . explain.
JE Sawyer: It's hard to brainwash people who have been alive for a hundred+ years. More importantly, non-feral ghouls and SMs are also a tiny fragment of the population. Caesar doesn't really consider them to be that relevant in the overall struggle for the Mojave.
I’m really sold on the idea of Liliya being conceived through wartime sexual violence. So much of her character is about the long term effects of ongoing corruption. But besides that, it makes her relationship with Coyle, who is 1. a father figure 2. attracted to her 3. an imperial soldier and 4. an avid practitioner of sexual assault that much more thematically meaningful.
Because Coyle and Liliya were both abused by their mothers, but Coyle’s mother had a husband and a house, she was in a nuclear family. This is the south in the 20s, this is a setting where it’s considered normal for women to forcibly undress their children so they can attack their buttocks with implements & make them say thank you after. Whatever Coyle’s mother subjected him to, it was almost certainly unhidden. Polite society would allow this woman to engage in pedophilic behavior as long as she kept it in the home, just like it allowed her son to kill women as long as he married them first. Coyle isn’t very different from his mother, which is probably why he seems half proud of her, despite everything, if “Mama Coyle didn’t raise no nancies” is anything to go off of.
Liliya, I mean. Her mother kept her in a cage, she intentionally treated her like a fucking animal, regardless of whether or not “Liliya” the fetus was conceived intentionally before that. Polite society might allow that to be done to a child conceived through rape. They’re horrible enough to children who don’t come preloaded with an excuse to mistreat them, as we saw in Coyle’s case. So while it was the nuclear family which provided a framework for Coyle’s mistreatment, it was the dissolution of the nuclear family, the insertion of sexual violence from foreign invaders and the subsequent othering & objectification of children conceived that way, which provided the framework for Liliya’s.
And that idea renders Coyle’s attraction to Liliya not just predatory but fatherly. Reactive. Enticing. Coyle is the type of man who fathered Liliya, if Coyle ever came across Liliya’s mother, he’d “fuck her to death,” and they both know that. He’s not shy about it. How does that make Liliya feel? Satisfied? Ashamed? Tempted? We’ve seen her be vindictive before, with the Nazi, vengefulness isn’t beyond her ken. When she was rescued as a child, she was called “feral,” she’s someone who’s been treated so badly that concepts like human rights violations or crimes against humanity are entirely alien to her. She’s a primal being.
Coyle, too, associates himself with sub-humanity, though he’s used to being the one who divvies it out, not the one who has it inflicted on him. This is Mr. “Rights?! Tell me about your fuckin rights! / We don’t much favor courts in these parts” after all. He likes to stand out in thunderstorms, as if he interprets his duel fixations on electricity and sexual assault as a natural phenomenon, something as worthless to resist as the weather. The act of sexual assault itself is often framed as bestial, animalistic, an inability for a man to control his primal urges.
All of this is reminiscent of the colonial logic that would’ve been at play in Liliya’s mother’s assault and impregnation. But it’s also reminiscent of the logic used to rationalize keeping a little girl in a cage from birth onwards until she was so divorced from humanity she could only express herself in grunts and hisses. You know how people can get away with talking about rape babies, even ones that are being savagely abused. Oh, Liliya’s a reminder, she’s a product, she’s a dozen other namby pamby touchy feely words employed to minimize the humanity of a brutalized child. How could you possibly expect this grown woman to have the basic human decency not to keep an infant locked up in a metal cage like cattle for a decade. That woman was raped! That infant has no right to be alive in the first place! Liliya is supposed to be her parents’ sin eater, she’s expected to accept her own hideous drawn-out subjugation as a reasonable response to her abuser’s suffering before she’s even allowed to develop an identity.
Thus, the rationalization process for Liliya’s abuse mimics the rationalization process which Coyle goes through internally to justify what he does to other people. This idea that some people are just born with insufficient personhood that requires violent correction, designated as acceptable targets for any kind of treatment without them even having to do anything.
And Coyle wants Liliya. He sees her as a desirable object, he openly equates her to mass produced industrial machinery with “if the Russians could make anything else like they make women, we’d be in trouble.” He’s treating her the way her mother and that woman’s neighbors did, yeah, but he’s also willing to partake in their institutional subjugation - he’s the guy who hurts the people who hurt Liliya. When has Liliya ever not been treated like an object? How’d you expect her to feel, when a man like her father wants to fuck her? Validated? Encouraged? Redeemed, beloved by god?
There isn’t enough humanity between the two of them to meaningfully reject sexual/reproductive violence as a justification for child abuse. But I do love that for Liliya, not just disdaining her mother but sexually identifying with her mother’s abuser, willingly taking him in as part of herself. Profaning the family structure which enabled her mistreatment by accepting his “love” for what it’s worth. No, she doesn’t feel bad for her, no, she’s not sorry that she dares to draw breath, no, she won’t walk on her knees for the woman who put her in a cage’s sake. Asked to choose between loyalty to her mother and the violent affections of her mother’s abuser she picks the latter. Good stuff!
Lanius. Okay what you gotta understand about Lanius is that Caesar made him to physically embody what Caesar could not, he’s sort of like Jesus Christ while Caesar is god. So you could say Lanius is Caesars son figure right? Buuuuut creating a social shadow of yourself to shoulder responsibilities you can’t is also something husbands do to their wives. So Lanius is Caesar’s son and wife because he’s his OC. The level of psychological dependence Lanius has on Caesar varies from Lanius to Lanius, because there have been several. Each Lanius also has a different relationship with the women who constructed the Lanius myth for Caesar, ala the Madonna or Mary Magdalene.
This would be the most ambitious piece among the whole series. Imagine encountering him as a final boss. He must be a HUGE bug who does 2 masks of damage just by touching you with his bare claws. Haha
I hate to post this, but my best friend @vonclosen very suddenly suffered a stroke today and had to be rushed to the hospital, and later life flighted to another hospital because he has a blood clot in his brain.
They've been sick for 8 months at this point, trying to move out of their black mold infested home, hospitalised and unable to work for at least a month now, and were diagnosed with stage 3 (now seemingly stage 4) Lung Cancer just 2 weeks ago. And now the stroke on TOP of all this.
I'm incredibly scared for them and their partner with all that's been going on the past few months. Hell just the past few WEEKS even. They need as much help as they can get.
If anyone is able to PLEASE send a few dollars their way. The medical costs + living costs
Venmo: @ ericdravens
Ko-Fi: Zuzeca
I'll even throw in some art if you DM me to show me proof of donating to them !!
if you donate at least $15 I'll draw you a bust, $30 I'll draw a half body and $50 I'll draw a full body !! I can throw in a doodle for anything under $15 too idc I just want to get them the money they need !!!
