Five times Jason catch the bouquet and one time he throw it up
Can be read on AO3 : Chapter 01, Chapter 02, Chapter 03, Chapter 04, Chapter 05, Chapter 06
Can be read on Tumblr : Part01, Part02, Part03, Part04, Part05, Part06
Can I Protect You? (JayRoy Completed 4/4 15532words)
When Jason learn that he is pregnant, he can't say that it makes him happy. He doesn't believe he could be a good mother, but Roy optimistic let him hope.
Maybe it is a good idea ... He can only hope so
Can be read on AO3 : Chapter 01, Chapter 02, Chapter 03, Chapter 04
Can be read on Tumblr : Part01, Part02, Part03, Part04
Can I Still Have my Happy Ever Ending? (JayRoy Completed 2/2 1639words)
What happen after Roy tells Jason he is pregnand with their third child.
Day 01 : Lactation/Breastfeeding for OmegaJasonToddWeek2020
Can be read on AO3 : Chapter 01, Chapter 02
Can be read on Tumblr : Part01, Part 02
Stressful Week (Backround JayRoy In Progress 3/? 6218 words)
On a mission, Jason is intoxicated by fear gas. If it was not enough, it must happen for the week when his rut begin.
Can be read on AO3 : Chapter 01, Chapter 02, Chapter 03
Can be read on Tumblr : Part 01, Part02, Part 03
Journey to the Past  (JayRoy In Progress 4/10 20903 words)
During a Joker attack, during a diplomatic meeting bringing together all the greatest leader of the world, Prince Jason Peter Todd disappear. At the moment he was only fifteen years old.
But his father, the King Bruce Wayne, hoping that his son is alive, offer a reward to anyone who could finally bring him back home.
Three years later, Roy Harper could use the reward to give to his children, Lian and Colin, a safe place to live. So when he meet Jay and Dami, two run away, and that Jay could easily claim to be the Lost Prince, the two groups decide to travel together for Gotham. With the hope of a safest life.
Can be read on AO3 : Chapter 01, Chapter 02, Chapter 03, Chapter 04, Chapter 05, Chapter 06, Chapter 07, Chapter 08, Chapter 09, Chapter 10
Can be read on Tumblr : Part01, Part02, Part03, Part04, Part05, Part06, Part07, Part08, Part09, Part10
Diamonds are Hood best friend (JayRoy Completed 1/1Â 4654 words)
Roy and Jason weren't expecting have their relationship known by their family so soon, neither have a family diner with the Batfamily but also the Arrowfamily. But here they are.
"Well my mother used to say to never underestimate a trophy wife. Because they could easily have the world at their feet." Bruce said ignoring the mess his two sons are making in the living room
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
When Violence causes Silence (JayRoy Completed 1/1 1803words)
Inspired by art made by @zumaon on Twitter
Here the link : https://twitter.com/zumaon/status/1227518175740190727
When the end of the word comes, the helpless and the good ones are the ones that die first.
The helpless donât know how to react facing a violence so unexpected and protect themselves from that.
The good ones donât know how to abandon the helpless.
Jason knows that.
So then this sort of zombie apocalypse happen, Jason hopes, prays, begs that Roy will be alright.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
Iâm a User (JayRoy Completed 1/1 1420words)
Jason was so happy to participate to a mission with Dick and the Titans, so he is really dissapointed when he is too sick to join them.
Fortunately, a nap and paracetamol should be enough.
What he doesn't realize is that he isn't sick. At fifteen year old, Jason finally present and he's an omega.
An omega that will spen his first heat without a nest, food or a protector.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
Iâm a Mess (JayRoy mentioned Completed 1/1 1415words)
A sequel of I'm a User
The consequence of what happen in Titan Tower are horrible for every part, but especially for Jason.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
New School Years (No Ship Completed 1/1 3659words)
Jason is pretty anxious when he wakes up this morning. Itâs the first time since a few months that he gets the chance to go back to school. Itâs the first time he goes to a school for rich kids.
Well, he supposes he became one when Bruce adopted him but he still doesnât realize it.
Heâs glad that he has a uniform to wear; because he really wants do good impressions but he have no idea how he should dress for that.
Well, in reality his uniform is not correct. When Bruce did the inscription, Jason wasnât presented yet so by default the school sends him a beta uniform. In the meantime, Jason presented as an omega but he will receive his new one next week.
For one week and with the school knowing the situation, it should be alright.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
New Chance (No ship Completed 1/1 3176words)
Jason can't say he is lucky.
His parents are dead before he is eleven years old and lives on the street.
And on worst day, he gets shot, he find a place surround by flowers to die.
But the plant seems to have other plan for him.
Is that really a surprise? It's freaking Gotham after all.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
Stranger Things
Bye Bi (Steddie Completed 1/1 6075words)
Based on a post from @strangersteddierthings and post in my other tumblr
link : https://strangersteddierthings.tumblr.com/post/728091551564169216/ok-so-we-got-so-many-fic-of-eddie-rejecting-steve
For Steve, his sexuality isn't new. He always knew that he was bi.
But his only experience with another man is with Tommy Hagan and it wasn't a very good experience.
When after his coming out, Eddie make a pass at him, Steve doesn't believe he is sincere.
Will Eddie prove that he doesn't see Steve as an experiment?
He can only hope that he will.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
Une chance manquĂŠe (Steddie Completed 1/1 4648words)
L'histoire se passe durant la saison 01.
Steve se trompe de casier et donne par mĂŠgarde une invitation Ă Eddie de le rejoindre dans les toilettes, Ă la place de Nancy !
Cette simple erreur change Ă jamais la vie de Steve.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
A Missed Opportunity (Steddie Completed 1/1 4382words)
The story takes place during season 1.
Steve accidentally chose the wrong locker and invites Eddie to join him in the bathroom instead of Nancy!
This simple mistake changes Steve's life forever.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
Le Bon CĂ´tĂŠ (Steddie Completed 4/4 13994words)
InspirÊ par le travail de @apomaro-mellow The Bright Side plus particulièrement S01E07
Steve, adoptĂŠ par Jim Hopper, est horrifiĂŠ quand celui-ci lui fait tout un discours maladroit sur le fait que ce ne serait pas grave si il ĂŠtait gay.
La raison de ce discours : Eddie Munson.
MĂŞme si Jim avait de bonne intention, il provoque une dĂŠtresse chez Steve qui replonge dans des souvenirs qu'il aurait prĂŠfĂŠrĂŠ oubliĂŠ et devoir faire face Ă des sentiments qu'il aurait prĂŠfĂŠrer nier.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
The Bright Side (Steddie Completed 4/4 13185words)
Inspired by the work of @apomaro-mellow, specifically The Bright Side, season 1, episode 7.
Steve, adopted by Jim Hopper, is horrified when Jim gives him an awkward speech about how it wouldn't be a big deal if he were gay.
The reason for this speech: Eddie Munson.
Even though Jim meant well, it causes Steve distress, forcing him to confront memories he'd rather forget and feelings he'd rather deny.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
UA Steve se travestie (Steddie)/AU Steve crossdressing (Steddie) :
Partie 01 - 1982 - Maneater French Version (Steddie Completed 1/1 4172words)
Steve perd un pari et doit se travestir pour se rendre Ă une soirĂŠe
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
Partie 01 - 1982 - Maneater English Version (Steddie Completed 1/1 3908words)
Steve loses a bet and has to disguise himself to go to a party
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
Partie 02 - 1982 : Fever FR, ENG (WIP)
Partie 03 - 1983 Say, Say, Say FR, ENG (WIP)
Partie 04 - 1983 Shame On The Night FR, ENG (WIP)
Partie 05 - 1984 Missing You French Version (Steddie Completed 1/1 2641words)
L'annĂŠe 1984 avait ĂŠtĂŠ horrible pour Steve et il ĂŠtait bien content qu'elle se termine. Comme tous les ans, toute sa famille ĂŠloignĂŠe se retrouvait Ă Hawkins pour les fĂŞtes, ses parents ayant le plus de place pour tous les accueillir. Les premiers arrivĂŠes sont une des sĹurs de sa mère, Prudence, son mari Jean et leur trois enfants Christophe, vingt-deux ans, Marie, treize ans et Mathieu douze ans.
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
Partie 05 - 1984 - Missing You English Version (Steddie Completed 1/1 2515words)
1984 had been a horrible year for Steve, and he was more than ready for it to end. As happened every year, his extended family was gathering in Hawkins for the holidays, since his parentsâ house had the most space to accommodate everyone. The first to arrive were one of his motherâs sistersâPrudenceâalong with her husband Jean and their three children: Christophe (twenty-two), Marie (thirteen), and Mathieu (twelve).
Can be read on AO3
Can be read on Tumblr
Partie 06 - 1984 The Duellist FR, ENG (WIP)
Partie 07 - 1985 I Want To Know What Love Is FR, ENG (WIP)
The story takes place in the same universe as Maneater. However, Iâll summarize everything you need to know about that fic here (so thereâs no need to have read it, though be aware there are spoilers for Maneater).
UA Steve se travestie (Steddie)/AU Steve crossdressing (Steddie) Partie 01 - 1982 : Maneater FR, ENG inspirĂŠ par ce post / Partie 02 - 1982 : Fever FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 03 - 1983 Say, Say, Say FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 04 - 1983 Shame On The Night FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 05 - 1984 Missing You FR, ENG / Partie 06 - 1984 The Duellist FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 07 - 1985 I Want To Know What Love Is FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 08 - 1985 Make It Real FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 09 - 1986 How Will I Know FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 10 - 1986 Damage.Inc FR, ENG (WIP)
Summary: 1984 had been a horrible year for Steve, and he was more than ready for it to end. As happened every year, his extended family was gathering in Hawkins for the holidays, since his parentsâ house had the most space to accommodate everyone.
The first to arrive were one of his motherâs sistersâPrudenceâalong with her husband Jean and their three children: Christophe (twenty-two), Marie (thirteen), and Mathieu (twelve).
****
Steve was sick of 1984.
Monsters were real; they ate cats and possessed little boys.
The government was even worse. Sure, theyâd been forced to abandon the Hawkins lab, but their threats against the group had become far more menacing than the year before.
He had cut ties with Tommy and Carole. It had made his friend group tense and awkward.
As for his relationship with Nancyâthey had broken up. And the speed with which sheâd moved on to Jonathan had really stung.
He couldn't wait for 1984 to be over.
The only thing lifting his spirits was the holiday season.
His parents had plenty of siblings, most of whom were married with children. It made for lively family gatherings.
And this year, as happened almost every year, everyone was meeting up at his parents' place in Hawkins.
Their house was the largest, featuring a big yard and plenty of distance from the neighbors.
On December 17th, the first to arrive were his Aunt Prudence, her husband Jean, and their childrenâChristophe, Marie, and Mathieu.
The kids were hanging out in the finished basement while the adults stayed in the living room.
Marie walked down the stairs, sighing. She had just been snapped at by her mother.
"I'm sick of being stuck with just boys! When are Jewel, Summer, or Faith getting here?"
"We already told you," Christophe repeated, "the others are arriving on the 22nd."
"I'll never last that long! If I hear one moreâŚ"
Mathieu let out a loud burp after drinking his soda too fast. His family didn't usually allow that much sugar, so he always took full advantage of it when he was in Hawkins.
Marie let out a piercing shriek and tugged at her hair.
Her brothers, used to it by now, didn't even bat an eye and kept watching The NeverEnding Story.
Steve, however, widened his eyes and asked her:
"What would you like to do?"
Marie grinned broadly and opened a box where she knew clothes were stored.
"Play dress-up!"
"Well, go ahead then," he said, not understanding what the problem was.
"I don't want to do it alone. It's not as much fun."
She pouted and gave him her best puppy-dog eyes.
"It's a trap, Steve," Christophe sang out before munching on some chips.
"It's a trap," Mathieu mimicked, laughing.
"Shut up, you two!! Steve is nice, unlike you guys. Right?"
Steve didn't doubt Christophe's words, but they were among cousins. Even if he made a fool of himself, it wouldn't be the end of the world.
"That depends. Is there clothes in my color in there?"
Marie laughed, and they started rummaging through the boxes.
Several hours later, Marie and Mathieu were fast asleep. Christophe wasn't far behind. Steve, however, wasn't sleepy yet.
"I'm going out for a walk," he told his cousin.
"In that outfit?"
"It's not like I'm going to run into anyone."
"Want me to come with you?"
"No, I want to be alone. Besides, we'd get killed if we left the two brats all by themselves."
Christophe chuckled; he knew he was right.
"Just make sure my mom doesn't see you. She'd flip her lid. See ya."
"See ya."
****
Eddie was sitting on a bench next to a playground.
His father was back at their place right now. He was drunkâ"celebrating the holidays and bringing good luck for the coming year."
Well, "their place." It was Wayne's place. His uncle had given up his own bedroom two years ago to put Eddie up. And every now and then, his brother would take up space they didn't really have in the living room.
Wayne had decided to work extra hours so they wouldn't be constantly under each other's feet. Eddie resented him for it, yet was grateful at the same time. He hated being alone with his father, but he was always mortified if anyone saw him in that state.
He had decided to take his van and just drive aimlessly. Heâd ended up in the park's parking lot and sat down there.
A distant streetlight provided his only light.
He had rolled a joint and was about to light it when he heard:
"Hey."
In a foul mood and freezing cold, he glared at the personâbefore his brain short-circuited.
A tall, beautiful young woman with an athletic body is standing in front of him.
She was wearing a gold, sequined dress. Her accessories included neon green high-top sneakers, yellow leg warmers, black tights, and a headscarf that highlighted her short hair. To keep warm, she wore a bright red suit jacket three sizes too big and a beige scarf.
Her makeup was bold: glossy lipstick, green eyeshadow, and too much blush.
Eddie felt pathetic. He was wearing jeans so old they were completely baggy, and a big, ridiculous Christmas sweater featuring gingerbread men. His hair was a mess, and he hadn't even bothered to tie his shoelaces.
He was glad he, at least, had his leather jacket and denim vest on; they made him feel more confident.
He blushed, unable to find his words. He was so dumbstruck he nearly dropped his joint.
"Thanks," she said, grabbing it and putting it in her mouth. "Move over."
Without waiting for Eddie to react, she sat on the bench beside him. She took the lighter from him, lit the joint, and took a drag.
Eddieâs brain kicked back into gear, and he cleared his throat.
"Uh⌠thatâs not a cigarette."
"No? Really?" she replied sarcastically. "I never would have guessed from the smell."
Eddie couldn't help but laugh; he felt more at ease now. He ran a hand through his hair, accepted the joint when she offered it back, and introduced himself:
"I'm Eddie."
"I know."
Eddie frowned but didn't back down. As he handed back the jointâwhich they had started sharing regularlyâhe said:
"That doesn't surprise me. I'm a real local celebrity. Talented musician, a stage animal with unmatched sex appeal."
The young woman laughed without holding back.
Rude.
But she had a lovely laugh and a beautiful smile, so Eddie accepted the blow to his ego.
"That's funny. I know you more as an official delinquent and Satanist leaderâthe natural enemy of sports and daylight," she teased.
"I don't recall us ever being introduced."
"And yet, we know each other."
"Really?"
"Want a hint?"
Eddie raised an eyebrow, skeptical.
She leaned in close to his face, running a hand through Eddie's hair to tuck it behind his ear. Her lips were inches from his.
"No one will believe you anyway.."
Eddie was so excited at the prospect of being kissed that it took him a moment to process what sheâd just said.
When the words finally registered, he felt a strange sense of dĂŠjĂ vu.
Back in 1982, at a party at Tina's place. Someone had said those exact words to him before kissing him.
Steve Harrington.
Dressed as a girl. Back in 1982âand apparently, tonight too. "Harrington?!" he exclaimed, amused, tugging at the jacket. "Did you lose a bet again?"
"No," he admitted. "My cousin wanted us to dress up."
"That might explain your outfitâmaybe. But not what you're doing here."
"I needed to walk. And when I saw you, I figured youâd have something to smoke."
"And here I thought my radiant personality had drawn you in like a moth to a flame."
"You looked like a guy ready to commit murder," Steve snorted.
"And yet, here you are."
Steve shrugged.
"Do you want me to be afraid of you, Munson?"
Could Steve hear himself? He sounded like he was flirting. They were still standing very close to each other. Eddie blushed deeply and tucked a lock of hair between his lips.
His earlier worries faded into the background; he felt lighter ever since Steve had come to sit beside him.
"No."
Steve seemed surprised by such a short, honest answer. He had undoubtedly expected Eddie to launch into an endless monologue.
"Are you okay?" Steve asked.
Eddie felt a lump form in his throat and his eyes well up. Despite himself, tears began to roll down his cheeks. He shook his head and forced himself to take a breath to regain his composure.
He knew what people thought of him. That he was just trailer-park trash, after all. A total loser in school with no real prospect. He had learned to brush it off. But today, his father was home, and it had been the final straw.
He couldn't believe he was letting Steve Harrington see him like this. He had to pull himself together. "Are you going to help me feel better?"
That was stupid! He couldn't believe heâd actually said it.
Yes, back in 1982, Steve had kissed himâon his own initiative. But since then, heâd completely ignored his existence.
Besides, just because he was dressed like a girl didn't mean Steve wouldn't be hypocritical enough to beat the crap out of him for being "too gay."
Steve locked eyes with him and wiped away his tears.
"1984 was a shitty year."
Eddie didn't have time to ask what he meant. Like the last time, Steve took the lead and kissed him.
Eddie wanted to let go, to accept the kiss. But too many things were running on a loop in his mind. He managed to pull back, even though Steve kept holding his head.
"I have questions."
"Ask them."
"Okay, so⌠um. Why was 1984 a bad year for you?"
Steve planted a quick kiss on his lips without answering.
"I just remembered your face was bloody on Halloween. What happened?"
Another quick kiss.
"Is that story about your cousin true?"
Another quick kiss.
"Do you like dressing up as a girl?"
Another quick kiss.
"Are you gay?"
Another quick kiss.
"Am I gay?"
Another quick kiss.
Eddie was out of questions. He was out of answers, too. Faced with Eddie's silence, Steve asked:
"Do you have any other questions?"
Eddie chuckled and, this time, took the lead, initiating the kiss himself.
Clumsy at first, the kiss grew tender. They weren't trying to satisfy an intense physical urge; they were seeking comfort in each other. A moment of calm amidst the storm of their lives.
The cold turned the tips of their noses red and chapped their lips. Their fingertips grew icy, making them shiver whenever they rested a hand on the other's neck or cheek.
Yet, at no point did they want to stop.
Their extinguished joint was forgotten, as was the time and their surroundings. And more importantly, their worries. There was nothing in the world but the two of them. At least, until a driver started honking at themâon purpose, just to scare and startle them.
They pulled apart, embarrassed at having been caught. But relieved that the person hadn't realized they were seeing two men kissing.
They started laughing, a release of nervous energy.
Well, that was that, Eddie thought.
But Steve had another idea in mind.
"Did you walk here?"
"No," Eddie replied, automatically looking for his van. "I'm parked over there."
"Let's go somewhere quieter."
Eddieâs eyes widened as he realized what Steve was proposing. Without a second thought, he sprang to his feet and held out a hand to Steve. Surprised, Steve chuckled before taking the offered hand to pull himself up.
Without letting goâterrified that Steve might vanishâEddie led him to his van. Heart pounding, he opened the rear doors and gestured for Steve to step inside with a mock-courtly bow. But Steve raised his eyebrows and grimaced in disgust. Eddieâs van was worse than a Demodog nest.
"I'll pass," Steve said, the mood instantly killed.
"What?!"
"Seriously? Youâve got the perfect spot for some privacy, and this is what youâve done with it?" Steve judged. "Is this why you're single, or is it in this state because you're single?"
"Screw you! Itâs nothingâI just need to move a couple of things out of the way and itâll be fine," Eddie defended himself, starting to tidy up.
The trouble was, he really did use his van for storageâsometimes eating and sleeping in thereâand he hated cleaning up. The clutter had piled up, and there was no way he could make the place presentable in a matter of seconds.
Steve picked up a sockâonly to find an open jar of Nutella underneath, missing its lid and with a knife still stuck inside.
"No."
He tossed the sock into the van and stepped back.
"Well, have a good night, Munson," he said, turning to leave.
A wild look crossed Eddieâs face, andâunable to stop himselfâhe grabbed Steve by the shoulders.
"Youâre unbelievable! You canât just barge into my life, kiss me out of the blue, turn my sexuality upside down, and then act like I donât exist!"
Steveâs eyes went wide. To be fair, even Eddie was shocked by his own outburst. But now that heâd finally voiced what had been weighing on his heart since that party at Tinaâs back in '82, his body was trembling, and he could feel tears welling up.
"That⌠thatâs not right."
He couldn't even look at Steve anymore; his vision was too blurred, and he was far too embarrassed to meet his gaze anyway.
Steve took hold of his hands to make him let goâgently, but firmly.
Steve was angry with himself. He wanted to be a good person. But he was still a selfish monster who left a trail of destruction in his wake.
It wasn't as if he was going to risk a relationship with Eddie, or keep dressing in drag just so they could kiss in public. He couldn't explain his attraction to Eddie, but if he couldn't deal with the consequences, he had to leave him alone. He still liked girls; he needed to focus on that.
"You're right. I'm sorry."
He had to put a stop to this whole charade. Awkwardly, he wished Eddie a good night and then headed toward his house. He had to make a superhuman effort not to turn around.
Upon arriving home, Steve suddenly felt utterly exhausted. He slumped onto one of the lounge chairs by the pool. He was so lost in thought that he hadn't realized the adults were still up.
When his parents saw him in that state, his father started scolding him for taking drugsâespecially with his young cousins ââpresent.
"I'm not taking drugs, Dad; it's just marijuana."
His mother was frantic at the thought of him going out alone at that hour without telling anyone, given the assault he had suffered a few weeks earlier.
His aunt didn't help matters by claiming it was only natural for Steve to get attacked if he made a habit of going out dressed like that.
His uncle was the only one who left him alone, as he was too busy pouring himself another drink.
Steve just took it; he was too tired to argue.
He couldn't wait for 1984 to end.
****
UA Steve se travestie (Steddie)/AU Steve crossdressing (Steddie) Partie 01 - 1982 : Maneater FR, ENG inspirĂŠ par ce post / Partie 02 - 1982 : Fever FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 03 - 1983 Say, Say, Say FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 04 - 1983 Shame On The Night FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 05 - 1984 Missing You FR, ENG / Partie 06 - 1984 The Duellist FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 07 - 1985 I Want To Know What Love Is FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 08 - 1985 Make It Real FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 09 - 1986 How Will I Know FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 10 - 1986 Damage.Inc FR, ENG (WIP)
L'histoire se passe dans le mĂŞme univers que Maneater. Mais je rĂŠsumerais ce qu'il y a besoin de savoir de cette fic (donc pas besoin de l'avoir lu, par contre spoil de Maneater)
UA Steve se travestie (Steddie)/AU Steve crossdressing (Steddie) Partie 01 - 1982 : Maneater FR, ENG inspirĂŠ par ce post / Partie 02 - 1982 : Fever FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 03 - 1983 Say, Say, Say FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 04 - 1983 Shame On The Night FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 05 - 1984 Missing You FR, ENG / Partie 06 - 1984 The Duellist FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 07 - 1985 I Want To Know What Love Is FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 08 - 1985 Make It Real FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 09 - 1986 How Will I Know FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 10 - 1986 Damage.Inc FR, ENG (WIP)
RĂŠsumĂŠ : L'annĂŠe 1984 avait ĂŠtĂŠ horrible pour Steve et il ĂŠtait bien content qu'elle se termine. Comme tous les ans, toute sa famille ĂŠloignĂŠe se retrouvait Ă Hawkins pour les fĂŞtes, ses parents ayant le plus de place pour tous les accueillir.
Les premiers arrivĂŠes sont une des sĹurs de sa mère, Prudence, son mari Jean et leur trois enfants Christophe, vingt-deux ans, Marie, treize ans et Mathieu douze ans.
****
Steve n'en pouvait de l'annĂŠe 1984.
Les monstres existaient et mangeaient les chats et possÊdaient les petits garçons.
Son gouvernement Êtait pire qu'eux. Certes ils avaient dÝ abandonner le laboratoire de Hawkins mais leurs menaces à leur encontre s'Êtaient faite plus menaçante que l'annÊe dernière.
Il avait coupĂŠ les ponts avec Tommy et Carole. Cela rendait son groupe d'amis tendu et mal Ă l'aise.
Quant Ă sa relation avec Nancy, ils avaient rompu. Et la vitesse avec laquelle elle s'ĂŠtait mise avec Jonathan, l'avait ĂŠnormĂŠment vexĂŠ.
L'annĂŠe 1984 ne finirait jamais assez vite
La seule chose qui lui remontait le moral ĂŠtait les fĂŞtes de fin d'annĂŠe.
Ses parents avaient beaucoup de frères et de sĹurs. Ils ĂŠtaient presque tous mariĂŠs, avec des enfants. Cela rendait les repas de famille très animĂŠs.
Et cette annĂŠe, comme presque tous les ans, tout le monde se retrouvait chez ses parents Ă Hawkins.
Leur maison ĂŠtait la plus grande, avec un grand jardin, assez loin de leur voisin.
Le 17 dĂŠcembre, les premiers arrivĂŠs ĂŠtaient sa tante Prudence, son mari Jean et leurs enfants Christophe, Marie et Mathieu.
Les enfants ĂŠtaient dans le sous sol emmĂŠnagĂŠ pendant que les adultes ĂŠtaient dans le salon.
Marie descendait l'escalier en soupirant. Elle venait de se faire rabrouer par sa mère.
"J'en ai marre d'être qu'avec des garçons ! Quand est-ce que Jewel, Summer ou Faith arrivent?
-On te l'a dĂŠjĂ dit, rĂŠpĂŠta Christophe, les autres arriveront le 22.
-Je vais jamais tenir aussi longtemps ! Si j'entends encore ..."
Mathieu lâcha un rot après avoir bu trop vite son soda. Sa famille n'autorisait pas normalement autant de consommation de sucre et il en profitait toujours au maximum quand il Êtait à Hawkins.
Marie poussa un hurlement hyper aĂŻgue en se tirant les cheveux.
Ses frères habituÊs ne bougèrent même pas un sourcil et continuèrent de regarder "L'histoire sans fin".
Steve, lui, ĂŠcarquilla les yeux et lui demanda :
"Qu'est-ce que tu aimerais faire?"
Marie eut un grand sourire et ouvrir un carton, oĂš elle savait, des vĂŞtements ĂŠtaient stockĂŠs.
"Me dĂŠguiser !
-Ben fais le alors. Dit-il ne comprenant pas oÚ Êtait le problème
-Je ne veux pas le faire toute seule. Ce n'est aussi drĂ´le."
Elle fit la moue et le regarda avec des yeux de chien battu.
"C'est un piège, Steve. Chantonna Christophe avant de manger des chips
-C'est un piège. L'imita en riant Mathieu
-La ferme vous deux !! Steve est gentil, lui. Pas vrai?"
Steve ne mettait pas en doute la parole de Christophe, mais ils ĂŠtaient entre cousins. MĂŞme si il se ridiculiserait, ce n'ĂŠtait pas trop grave.
"Ăa depend. Est-ce qu'il y a ma couleur?"
Marie se mit à rire et ils commencèrent à fouiller dans les cartons.
Plusieurs heures plus tard, Marie et Mathieu Êtaient endormis comme des souches. Christophe n'Êtait pas trop loin derrière. Steve, lui, n'avait pas encore sommeil.
"Je sors marcher un peu. Dit-il Ă son cousin
-Dans cette tenue?
-C'est pas comme si j'allais croiser qui que ce soit.
-Tu veux que je t'accompagne?
-Non, j'ai envie d'ĂŞtre seul. Et puis on se ferait tuer si on laissait les deux mioches tout seul."
Christophe ricana, il savait qu'il avait raison.
"Fais attention à ce que ma mère te voit pas. Elle peterait un plomb. à toute.
-Ă toute."
****
Eddie ĂŠtait posĂŠ sur un banc Ă cĂ´tĂŠ d'une aire de jeu.
Son père Êtait chez eux en ce moment. Il Êtait ivre "pour cÊlÊbrer les fêtes et amener la chance pour l'annÊe prochaine".
Enfin "chez eux". Chez Wayne. Son oncle avait dÊjà renoncÊ à avoir sa chambre depuis deux ans pour hÊberger Eddie. Et de temps en temps son frère prenait de la place qu'ils n'avaient pas dans le salon.
Wayne avait dÊcidÊ de faire plus d'heure afin qu'ils ne se marchent trop les uns sur les autres. Eddie lui en voulait en même temps qu'il ne lui en Êtait reconnaissant. Il n'aimait pas être seul avec son père, mais il Êtait toujours mort de honte quand quelqu'un le voyait dans cet Êtat.
Il avait dĂŠcidĂŠ de prendre son van et de rouler Ă l'aveuglette. Il avait finit par arriver sur le parking de ce parc et Ă s'asseoir lĂ .
Un rÊverbère au loin Êtait son unique lumière.
Il s'ĂŠtait prĂŠparĂŠ un joint et s'appretait Ă l'allumer quand il entendit :
"HĂŠ."
De mauvaise humeur et frigorifiĂŠ, il jeta un regard noir Ă cette personne avant de sentir son cerveau court circuitĂŠ.
Une belle et grande jeune femme avec un corps athlĂŠtique se tenait devant lui.
Elle portait une robe dorĂŠe couverte de sĂŠquin. Ses accessoires ĂŠtaient des baskets montantes vertes fluo, des guĂŞtres jaunes, des collants noirs et un foulard autour de sa tĂŞte mettant en valeur ses cheveux courts. Pour se tenir au chaud, elle avait une veste de costume trois fois trop large d'un rouge pĂŠtant et une ĂŠcharpe beige.
Son maquillage Êtait voyant. Un rouge à lèvre brillant, du fard à paupière vert et trop de blush.
Eddie se sentit pitoyable. Il portait un jean tellement vieux qu'il Êtait très dÊtendu. Un gros pull de noÍl ridicule avec des bonhommes en pain d'Êpice dessinÊs dessus. Ses cheveux ne ressemblait à rien et il n'avait même pas pris la peine de faire ses lacets.
Il ĂŠtait content d'avoir au moins sa veste en cuir et son gilet en denim. Il se sentait plus confiant avec.
Il rougit, incapable de trouver ses mots. Son joint manqua de tomber tant il ĂŠtait bouche bĂŠe.
"Merci. Dit-elle en l'attrapant pour la mettre dans sa bouche. Bouge."
Sans attendre que Eddie rĂŠagisse, elle s'assit sur le banc Ă cĂ´tĂŠ de lui. Elle lui prit le briquet et alluma le joint avant de tirer dessus.
Les neurones d'Eddie se rebranchèrent et il se racla la gorge.
"Euh ... c'est pas une cigarette.
-Non? Vraiment? RĂŠpondit-elle avec sarcasme. Ă l'odeur je n'aurais jamais devinĂŠ."
Eddie ne put s'empĂŞcher de rire et de se sentir plus dĂŠtendu. Il passa une main dans ses cheveux et accepta son propre joint quand elle lui proposa et se prĂŠsenta :
"Je m'appelle Eddie.
-Je sais."
Eddie fronça les sourcils mais ne se dÊgonfla pas. En lui rendant le joint, qu'ils commencèrent à s'Êchanger rÊgulièrement, il dit :
"Cela ne m'Êtonne pas. Je suis une vraie cÊlÊbritÊ locale. Musicien de talent, bête de scène au sexe appeal inÊgalable."
La jeune femme rit sans aucune retenue.
Malpolie.
Mais elle avait un joli rire et un beau sourire alors Eddie acceptait la blessure Ă son ego.
"C'est marrant. Je te connais plus comme dÊlinquant officiel et chef sataniste, ennemi naturel du sport et de la lumière du jour. Plaisanta-t-elle
-Je n'ai pas souvenir que l'on ait ĂŠtĂŠ prĂŠsentĂŠ.
-Pourtant on se connait.
-Vraiment?
-Tu veux un indice?"
Eddie arquait un sourcil, dubitatif.
Elle s'approcha de son visage, passant une main dans les cheveux d'Eddie pour les passer derrière son oreille. Ses lèvres Êtaient proches des siennes.
"Personne te croira de toute façon."
Eddie ĂŠtait beaucoup trop emballĂŠ Ă l'idĂŠe de se faire embrasser qu'il mit du temps Ă comprendre ce qu'elle venait de lui dire.
Quand les mots arrivèrent à son cerveau, il eut une drôle d'impression de dÊjà vu.
En 1982, lors d'une soirĂŠe chez Tina. Quelqu'un lui avait dit ces mots avant de l'embrasser.
Steve Harrington.
HabillĂŠ en fille. En 1982 et apparemment aussi cette nuit.
"Harrington?! S'exclama-t-il hilare et tira sur la veste. Tu as encore perdu un pari?
-Non. Avoua-t-il. Ma cousine voulait qu'on se dĂŠguise.
-Ăa expliquerait peut ĂŞtre ta tenue, et encore. Mais pas ce que tu fais ici.
-J'avais besoin de marcher. Et quand je t'ai vu, je me suis dit que tu aurais de quoi fumer.
-Moi qui ai cru que ma personnalitÊ rayonnante t'avait attirÊ tel un papillon vers la lumière.
-Tu avais la tĂŞte d'un mec prĂŞt Ă commettre un meurtre. Pouffa Steve
-Et pourtant te voilĂ ."
Steve haussa les ĂŠpaules.
"Tu aimerais que j'ai peur de toi, Munson?"
Est-ce que Steve s'entendait parler? Il avait tout l'air de flirter avec lui. Ils Êtaient encore très proche l'un de l'autre. Eddie rougit fortement et passa une de ses mèches entre ses lèvres.
Ses tracas de plus tĂ´t passaient au second plan et il se sentait plus lĂŠger depuis que Steve ĂŠtait venu s'asseoir Ă cĂ´tĂŠ de lui.
"Non."
Steve sembla surprit par une rĂŠponse aussi courte et honnĂŞte. Sans nul doute, il s'ĂŠtait attendu Ă ce qu'Eddie se lance dans un monologue sans fin.
"Est-ce que ça va?" Lui demanda Steve
Eddie sentit sa gorge se nouer et ses yeux s'innonder. Bien malgrÊ lui, des larmes coulèrent sur ses joues. Il secoua la tête et se força à inspirer pour reprendre son calme.
Il savait ce que l'on pensait de lui. Qu'il Êtait un dÊchet des mobil-home après tout. Un vrai naze en cours sans rÊel perspective d'avenir. Il avait appris à passer outre. Mais aujourd'hui son père Êtait à la maison et c'Êtait la goutte d'eau qui faisait dÊborder le vase.
Il n'en revenait pas de se montrer comme ça à Steve Harrington. Il devait reprendre le contrôle.
"Est-ce que tu vas m'aider Ă me faire sentir mieux?"
C'Êtait stupide ! Il n'en revenait pas d'avoir osÊ dire ça.
Oui, en 1982, Steve l'avait de lui mĂŞme embrassĂŠ. Mais depuis, il avait royalement ignorĂŠ son existence.
En plus, ce n'ĂŠtait pas parce qu'il ĂŠtait habillĂŠ en fille que, Steve ne serait pas assez hypocrite pour lui casser la gueule pour ĂŞtre "trop gay".
Steve plongea ses yeux dans les siens et essuya ses larmes.
"1984 a vraiment ĂŠtĂŠ une annĂŠe de merde."
Eddie n'eut pas le temps de lui demander ce qu'il voulait dire. Comme la dernière fois, Steve prit les devants et l'embrassa.
Eddie avait envie de se laisser aller, d'accepter le baiser. Mais il avait trop de chose qui tournait en boucle dans sa tĂŞte. Il parvint Ă reculer mĂŞme si Steve continuait de lui tenir la tĂŞte.
"J'ai des questions.
-Poses-les.
-Ok alors euh. En quoi 1984 a ĂŠtĂŠ une mauvaise annĂŠe pour toi?"
Steve lui fit un bÊcot sur les lèvres sans lui rÊpondre.
"Je viens de me rappeler que t'avais le visage en sang Ă Halloween. Qu'est-ce qui s'est passĂŠ?"
Un autre bĂŠcot.
"Est-ce que c'est vrai cette histoire de cousine?"
Un autre bĂŠcot.
"Est-ce que tu aimes t'habiller en fille?"
Un autre bĂŠcot.
"Est-ce que tu es gay?"
Un autre bĂŠcot.
"Est-ce que je suis gay?"
Un autre bĂŠcot.
Eddie n'avait plus de question. Il n'avait aussi aucune rĂŠponse. Face au silence d'Eddie, Steve lui demanda :
"Tu as d'autres questions?"
Eddie pouffa et, cette fois, prit les devants en ĂŠtant celui qui initia leur baiser.
D'abord maladroit, leur baiser devint tendre. Ils n'essayaient pas de rĂŠpondre Ă un besoin physique intense. Ils cherchaient du rĂŠconfort dans l'autre. Une accalmie dans la tempĂŞte de leur vie.
Le froid rougissait le bout de leur nez et gerçait leur lèvre. Le bout de leurs doigts se glaçait et les faisait frissonner quand ils posèrent leur main dans la nuque ou sur la joue l'un de l'autre.
Pourtant cela ne leur donnait Ă aucun moment envie d'arrĂŞter.
Leur joint ĂŠteint ĂŠtait oubliĂŠ, tout comme le temps, ce qui les entourait. Et plus important, leur soucis. Il n'y avait plus qu'eux au monde et rien d'autre.
Enfin jusqu'à ce qu'un automobiliste se mit à les klaxonner, exprès pour les effrayer et les faire sursauter.
Ils s'Êloignèrent l'un de l'autre, embarrassÊs de s'être fait surprendre. Mais soulagÊs que la personne n'ait pas compris qu'elle voyait deux hommes s'embrasser.
Ils se mirent Ă rire Ă cause de leur nerfs.
Bon c'ĂŠtait fini, se dit Eddie.
Mais Steve avait une autre idĂŠe en tĂŞte.
"T'es venu Ă pied?
-Non, rĂŠpondit Eddie en cherchant machinalement son van, je suis garĂŠ lĂ .
-On continue dans un endroit plus tranquille."
Eddie ĂŠcarquilla les yeux en comprenant ce que Steve proposait. Et sans se faire prier, il se leva d'un bond en tendant une main Ă Steve. Ce dernier, surpris, pouffa avant d'accepter la main tendue pour se redresser.
Sans le lâcher, trop effrayĂŠ que Steve disparaisse, Eddie le conduit jusqu'Ă son van. Le cĹur battant, il ouvrit les portes arrières en invitant Steve Ă entrer avec une rĂŠvĂŠrence. Mais Steve haussa les sourcils et fit une moue dĂŠgoutĂŠe. Le van d'Eddie ĂŠtait pire qu'un nid de Demochien.
"Je passe. Dit Steve qui s'ĂŠtait prit une douche froide
-Quoi?!
-SÊrieusement, t'as le coin parfait pour avoir des moments d'intimitÊ et t'en as fait ça? Jugea Steve. C'est la raison pour laquelle tu es cÊlibataire ou c'est dans cet Êtat parce que tu es cÊlibataire?
-Je t'emmerde !! C'est rien, faut juste que je pousse deux trois trucs et ce sera bon." Se dÊfendit Eddie en commençant à ranger
L'ennuie est qu'il se servait vraiment de son van de lieu de stockage, parfois il mangeait et dormait dedans, et il n'aimait pas ranger. Alors les choses s'accumulaient et il ĂŠtait impossible qu'il le rende dĂŠcent en quelques secondes.
Machinalement Steve leva une chaussette, tout ça pour voir un pot de Nutella entamÊ sans son couvercle avec encore un couteau dedans.
"Non."
Il jeta la chaussette dans le van et recula.
"Et bien bonne soirÊe, Munson." Dit-il en commença à vouloir partir
Eddie eut un regard un peu fou et, sans qu'il ne puisse s'en empĂŞcher, il attrapa Steve par les ĂŠpaules.
"T'es pas croyable toi ! Tu peux pas dĂŠbarquer dans ma vie, m'embrasser sans que je te demande rien, chambouler ma sexualitĂŠ, pour ensuite faire comme si je n'existais pas !"
Steve avait les yeux ĂŠcarquillĂŠs. Il faut dire qu'Eddie lui mĂŞme ĂŠtait ĂŠtonnĂŠ par son coup d'ĂŠclat. Mais maintenant qu'il avait dit ce qui lui pesait sur le cĹur depuis cette soirĂŠe chez Tina en 1982, son corps tremblait et il sentait les larmes lui monter aux yeux.
"Ăa ... ça ne se fait pas."
Il ne pouvait même plus regarder Steve, sa vue Êtait trop trouble et il Êtait de toute façon beaucoup trop gênÊ pour lever le regard.
Steve prit ses mains pour le faire lâcher. Doucement mais fermement.
Steve Êtait en colère avec lui même. Il voulait être quelqu'un de bien. Mais il Êtait toujours un monstre d'Êgoïsme qui ravageait tout sur son passage.
Ce n'est pas comme si il prendrait le risque d'avoir une relation avec Eddie ou qu'il continuerait à se travestir pour qu'ils puissent s'embrasser dans des lieux publiques. Il ne pouvait pas expliquer son attraction pour Eddie, mais si il ne pouvait pas en assumer les consÊquences alors il devait le laisser tranquille. Il aimait toujours les filles, il devait se focaliser sur ça.
"Tu as raison. Pardon."
Il devait mettre un terme à son petit manège.
Maladroitement, il souhaita une bonne nuit Ă Eddie puis partit en direction de sa maison. Il dĂť utiliser un effort surhumain pour ne pas se retourner.
ArrivÊ chez lui, Steve se sentit tout à coup extrêmement ÊpuisÊ. Il se laissa tomber sur une des chaises longues autour de sa piscine. Il Êtait tellement perdu dans ses pensÊes qu'il ne s'Êtait pas aperçu que les adultes Êtaient encore rÊveillÊs.
Quand ses parents le virent dans cet Êtat, son père se mit à le disputer pour s'être droguÊ, surtout avec ses petits cousins prÊsents.
"Je ne prends pas de la drogue, papa, ce n'est que du cannabis."
Sa mère Êtait folle à l'idÊe qu'il ait pu sortir seul à cette heure-ci sans prÊvenir qui que ce soit après l'agression qu'il avait subit il y a plusieurs semaines.
Sa tante n'aidait pas en affirmant qu'il ĂŠtait normal que Steve se soit fait agressĂŠ si il avait l'habitude de sortir habillĂŠ de la sorte.
Son oncle ĂŠtait le seul qui lui fichait la paix car trop occupĂŠ Ă se resservir Ă boire.
Steve fit le dos rond, trop fatiguĂŠ.
Vivement que l'annĂŠe 1984 se termine.
****
UA Steve se travestie (Steddie)/AU Steve crossdressing (Steddie) Partie 01 - 1982 : Maneater FR, ENG inspirĂŠ par ce post / Partie 02 - 1982 : Fever FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 03 - 1983 Say, Say, Say FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 04 - 1983 Shame On The Night FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 05 - 1984 Missing You FR, ENG / Partie 06 - 1984 The Duellist FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 07 - 1985 I Want To Know What Love Is FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 08 - 1985 Make It Real FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 09 - 1986 How Will I Know FR, ENG (WIP) / Partie 10 - 1986 Damage.Inc FR, ENG (WIP)
Warning: This is a sexual assault where all parties involved (perpetrator, victim, witnesses) are intoxicated minors without any adult supervision. Do not expect this to be handled "intelligently" or, at the very least, with much maturity.
Summary: Steve loses a bet and has to disguise himself to go to a party
Maneater - Hall & Oates
It was 1982.
During gym class, a group of high school students had to play a friendly basketball game.
As luck would have it, Steve was captain of the T-shirt team and Tommy captain of the shirtless team.
The two captains amused themselves by jokingly putting each other down, saying their team was going to win. One thing led to another, and they ended up making a bet.
The captain of the losing team would have to go to Tina's party that evening dressed as a girl and stay there for over an hour.
Neither Tommy nor Steve wanted to suffer such humiliation, but they couldn't back out either.
To Tommy's great joy, his team won by a single point.
"So Steve, do you already know what you're going to wear?"
"Screw you."
"A bet's a bet. If you're not going to honor it, there's no point in showing up."
"I'll do it." Steve said, rolling his eyes.
He was trying to act like he didn't care. Like he was too cool to care.
But the truth is, he was already blushing with embarrassment.
Could he pretend to suddenly feel unwell?
Would his father approve of him leaving the house like this?
Would his mother approve of him using her clothes?
He only had a few hours to figure out what to do. He was in a complete panic.
He was racking his brains when Carol grabbed one of his arms and Laurie the other.
"If you take us, we'll make Tommy regret losing," Carol promised.
Steve didn't know the two girls very well yet, as their friendship was fairly new. But if anyone could make Tommy regret anything, it was Carol.
"What time should I come over?"
They smiled broadly before answering him.
âââââââââ
The party had begun, and a feverish tension spread with every passing minute.
Those who knew about Steve Harrington's dare were all eager to see the result for a good laugh. Some had even dug out disposable cameras to capture the moment.
The longer he took to arrive, the more ludicrous the speculations became, and the sharper the remarks.
"I'm sure he chickened out," Reed asserted.
He ignored the replies, spotting three beautiful girls with very different styles, their hands empty. He wanted to play it safe and managed to get them drinks.
While they all had brown hair and brown eyes, their figures and clothing styles gave them a distinct look.
The first had a deceptively innocent air. Her jeans were a bit tighter than fashion dictated, and her blouse was sheer enough to make it seem as if the glimpse of her pink bra was accidental. In fact, her entire makeup was in keeping with this theme.
The second woman wore wide-legged pants, a neon green bra under a mesh t-shirt, and a denim jacket. She was self-assured, commanding attention and presence.
The third woman seemed to be constantly on the move. Her gaze darted from one corner of the room to the other. She wore a high-waisted denim skirt, a long-sleeved, round-neck pastel blue crop top. Her eyeshadow was also blue, and her lip gloss reflected the light.
"Ladies," Reed said, handing them drinks, "you look beautiful tonight."
Two of the three smiled broadly.
The third frowned but took the drink. Reed felt a thrill of desire. She might be harder to get, but that was what gave him pleasure.
He studied their faces, trying to remember their names. He found himself embarrassed when he couldn't quite place his target's name.
"Reed," he decided to introduce himself, hoping she would do the same.
"I know."
Damn, was she some ugly duckling trying to be Cinderella?
There was a pause as Carole and Laurie started giggling.
Reed blushed with both embarrassment and anger. He forced himself to remain calm.
Ugly duckling or not. If she thought she was better than him, he was going to show her.
"You have a pretty plain face," he lied, "I can't quite place you. Do we have classes together?"
"Reed, that's me," she said.
Reed narrowed his eyes with a wicked smile. Then came the cold shower.
She was as tall as him without heels, her voice deeper than the other two. Laurie and Carole left arm in arm with Steve after gym class.
"Steve?!" he exclaimed, outraged.
"Well, yeah."
Steve couldn't believe he hadn't been recognized sooner.
When no one had roared with laughter upon his arrival, he'd thought they were planning something nasty for him.
Apparently, no one had even noticed he was there.
Reed went pale, stammered, and then left, looking bewildered.
Carole and Laurie burst out laughing after holding it in for a few minutes.
Steve relaxed and chuckled. Maybe this evening wouldn't be so humiliating after all.
âââââââ
A few moments later, Tommy approached the trio, casually putting his arm around Carole.
They weren't exactly together, but they were getting closer.
"Didn't you see Steve? I wouldn't have thought he'd chicken out."
"I didn't chicken out."
At first, Tommy looked at him annoyed. He wondered what she wanted.
His eyes suddenly widened, and he blushed from ear to ear.
"Oh shit! You're fuckable!" he yelled.
It was Steve's turn to widen his eyes.
"Are you crazy?"
"No, but not like a sissy," Tommy tried to defend himself, "like a girl. If you were one. Come on! The others have to see this!"
Steve didn't want to. But he let himself be pulled toward the other boys in his year who knew about the bet. He couldn't have gone through with it only to be told he'd chickened out because he'd been hiding all evening.
Obviously, it was humiliating. He was as red as a peony and endured several jokes and remarks of varying taste. But strangely, they quickly turned awkwardly deferential.
The fact that Steve turned out to be a pretty girl somewhat spoiled the joke, but they respected that he'd played along.
After a while, and with the help of alcohol, Steve even started to own it. He let himself be photographed with anyone who wanted to, hugging some of the boys and saying that no prettier girl would ever do them that favor.
Some people who weren't in on the joke also wanted to have their picture taken and talk to Steve, thinking he was a local celebrity.
One of these people was Nicolas, nicknamed Nicky. It was Tina's cousin, two years her senior, who wasn't from Hawkins and had only come for a few days. In other words, he knew absolutely nothing about Steve Harrington or the microcosm that was his cousin's high school.
All he knew was that a pretty girl, fifteen or sixteen years old, tall with a flat chest but a nice bottom, had caught his eye. He wouldn't mind making a nice memory to brag about when he got back to his school.
He gathered that her name was Stevie, and she wasn't like the other girls because she wasn't afraid to drink alone with guys and laughed at their jokes, no matter how crude they were.
He had taken advantage of being in the group to initiate deceptively innocent physical contact by asking her questions and ignoring her answers.
The only thing that mattered to him was finding a way to lure her away from the crowd.
He considered using her drunkenness as an excuse to take her to a room so she could "rest." But she insisted she'd never felt so good, and no one would leave her alone.
He started imagining throwing her onto the table and taking her in front of everyone. That would teach her to be such a tease.
The perfect opportunity came from Tina.
"I'll go get the rest of it."
"Never mind, I'll go."
"Do you know where it is?"
"It's not your first party I've been to." She laughed, heading towards the cellar.
Alone.
âââââââ
Steve had been interested when he offered to replace Tina.
In truth, the only rule Tina enforced at her house was "no smoking inside." And Steve wanted a cigarette, but it was too cold to go outside.
Judging by the smell of nicotine and weed wafting up to his nose despite the obvious breeze, he couldn't have been the only one with that idea.
He patted his clothes, then sighed in annoyance, remembering that his pockets were too small for a pack of cigarettes. He regretted refusing to take a purse.
His plan had been so perfect.
It took his foggy mind a moment to recall what Tina wanted to retrieve so he hadn't gone downstairs for nothing.
He was still trying to get his thoughts working again when he was suddenly plunged into darkness.
He barely had time to wonder if the power had gone out before he was violently slammed against a wall.
He didn't have time to cry out before a mouth slammed into his. A kiss of tongue and teeth that nearly made him vomit.
His head reeling, he tried to pull his arms free, but he couldn't.
When his mouth was finally free, he cried out,
"Stop! What's happening? Stop!"
"Don't tell me this is your first time," a voice crooned before biting him hard on the back of the neck. "I don't believe you."
Steve screamed in pain and again demanded it stop, but in vain.
A hand clamped over his throat, choking him, while another slid up one of his legs.
He struggled to keep them tightly clasped as he continued to fight back.
"I'll be nice, if you're nice."
Steve became even more agitated.
"But if you're a bitch, I'll give you something to cry about."
The person placed both hands on Steve's shoulders and pulled him towards them before slamming him harder and harder against the wall.
Steve couldn't understand what was happening. He didn't know how to protect himself. Should he even try to defend himself? Wouldn't it be simpler to just wait it out? He must have been mistaken for someone else. Once the confusion was over, he could leave.
He tried to regain his composure, but before he could, his attacker was pulled backward.
He slumped back against the wall and slid to the floor.
His body trembling, his eyes wide, he tried in vain to see what was happening.
He could hear the sounds of blows, shouts, groans, and insults.
He couldn't remain in this uncertainty.
Slowly, he forced himself to his feet and groped his way toward the light switch.
Once or twice, he felt the impact of a body or an object against the wall near him. He put his hand over his mouth to avoid being noticed.
When he reached the switch, he felt something leaning against the wall, possibly a bat, and grabbed it before turning on the light.
He came face to face with Tina's cousin, Nicky, and Hawkins' official delinquent, Eddie Munson.
They were both disheveled, their faces swollen and bloodied from the blows exchanged, and they were panting.
Steve raised what looked like a mannequin arm, missing a cracked hand, and glared at them.
He had no idea who his attacker was. Everything had happened too fast, and he was still struggling to process what had happened.
"It's him!" Nicky shouted, panting, pointing at Eddie. "Go get the others, we're going to kill him!"
Eddie's eyes widened, and he stared at him without a word.
What nerve!
But he wasn't reassured. This bluff might work.
The girl gave him such a dark look that he wasn't sure what color her eyes were, and the knuckles of her hands were white from gripping her makeshift weapon so tightly.
When Eddie realized she was about to strike, all he could do was tense up, closing his eyes to brace himself for the impact.
To his great relief, it wasn't him she hit.
Steve felt a surge of euphoric satisfaction as he watched Nicky rolling on the floor, screaming and clutching her head. He saw Eddie watching in surprise and explained,
"His fly is open."
Eddie, in shock, could only nod at first. But when Nicky tried to get up and lunge at the girl, calling her a bitch, he managed to move again.
He grabbed Nicky's hair and forced him to his knees. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a box cutter wrapped in gift paper and grabbed it, pressing it against the back of Nicky's neck.
It had the desired effect. Outnumbered and threatened by two weapons, one of them a knife, Nicky didn't dare breathe.
"You're my bitch now." Eddie blurted out, his adrenaline making him say anything.
Steve wrinkled his nose, looking disgusted.
"You're a real nutcase."
"Yeah, well... there !" Eddie protested. "The important thing is that this gentleman is now going to apologize. And if, and I mean if, his apology is accepted, he might just be able to leave in one piece."
Before Steve could say anything, Nicky offered an explanation:
"Look, guys can understand each other. Look at her. She's been flirting with me all night. If she's yours, I'm sorry, but that's not the signal she's given me."
Steve, stunned by these apologies, which weren't even directed at him, could only say:
"Do you realize I'm a guy, or are you just incredibly stupid?!"
The similar look of astonishment on Eddie and Nicky's faces might have been funny under other circumstances.
Nicky didn't believe him.
"No way."
"Yes."
"No way."
"You're actually stupid."
Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in Eddie's head.
"Harrington! You look good in eyeshadow for a guy who called me a faggot because of my rings.
-I lost a bet. What's your excuse?
-I hate being boring."
Nicky, who was starting to believe Steve, had a desperate start and tried to get closer to him before being stopped at the last minute by Eddie.
"No way! Take your skirt off!"
"Are you out of your mind, you idiot!"
"Having been in the locker room," Eddie added, "I can assure you it's definitely a guy. Right, big boy?"
Eddie winked at Steve, which made him grimace in disgust.
"You're both as bad as each other."
Eddie opened his mouth, but no words came out.
Tina burst into the basement.
"Steve! What's taking you so long?"
She stopped dead in her tracks, staring at the strange sight before her.
"Damn it! What the hell is going on?!"
Steve blushed with shame, sighing and running a hand through his hair.
"Your stupid cousin thought I was really a girl and tried to sleep with me."
He couldn't believe he had to admit something like that. Especially to a girl. Luckily, she'd come downstairs on her own.
"Eddie was there and helped me. Even though I was in control of the situation."
"You were in control of the situation?" Eddie asked, surprised. "That's not the impression it gave."
"I didn't ask you for help, as far as I know."
Tina burst out laughing, completely drunk.
"What an idiot! With all the girls around, you wanted to sleep with the only one who has a penis!"
Nicky was seething with shame and stammered that he looked a lot like a girl.
"Not that much," Steve said.
Eddie made a face as if to say, "A little bit, actually."
"Come on, let him go," she said.
Eddie looked at Tina, then Nicky, before settling on Steve.
"Let him go," he said simply.
Eddie obeyed, instinctively putting the box cutter in his jacket, and Nicky fell to the ground.
Tina, doubled over with laughter, continued:
"What an idiot! Can you imagine if your parents found out you wanted to sleep with a boy? Can you imagine if your mother found out?"
"Shut up, Tina!"
"My silence has a price," she said suddenly, serious. "I'm sick of you coming to mess up my place every time you mess up yours. So if you want this to stay between us, you're going to shut your big mouth and leave me alone."
Nicky's eyes widened, and he stared at her as if he'd seen her for the first time. Whatever he saw in her eyes, he ran away with his tail between his legs.
Tina straightened up, got what she needed from the cellar, and went back upstairs, regaining her cheerful expression.
Eddie and Steve didn't move. Suddenly, the adrenaline wore off, making them almost sober. And they began to realize what had happened, what could have happened.
Eddie finally took out his pack of cigarettes and offered one to Steve, who accepted without a word. Then they sat down by the window.
Eddie noticed that Steve was trembling from head to toe now, his gaze unfocused. He was trying to think of something to say. But what are you supposed to say in these kinds of circumstances?
Eddie was still racking his brains for a brilliant idea when he was startled by Steve's voice:
"Have you ever kissed with your tongue?"
"Yes, I have."
Not that often, but still!
"It was my first time," Steve admitted, still lost in thought. "What's it supposed to be like?"
"I have fond memories of it. At worst, a little funny."
"It was... awful. Disgusting. I... you..."
Steve was struggling with his words again. Frowning, he avoided eye contact.
Eddie remained silent. He didn't understand what was happening, but he had a feeling it wasn't the right time for one of his big solicits. Even though a few ideas were coming to him.
Steve sighed dejectedly before turning, trembling, toward the cellar door.
"He messed me up, you think? The first time is important, isn't it?"
Eddie shrugged. Then he couldn't help but add:
"My first time was at a party like this. The girl mistook me for her boyfriend. You can imagine he gave me a good beating."
"Not great," Steve admitted. "But it's not the same."
"That's true."
They continued smoking in silence for a few seconds before Eddie couldn't help but add:
"You shouldn't stress about it now. You'll see next time you try French kissing."
"It's like the diving board," Steve grumbled.
"What?"
"The longer I wait, the harder it'll be to jump."
It wasn't that Eddie wasn't sympathetic, but again: what are you supposed to say in this situation?
"I'm sure anyone at this party would be happy to be your guinea pig," Eddie joked, only half-joking. "Even me, you're making me question myself."
He jumped when Steve's eyes locked onto his. Serious, deep, a lovely shade of brown, beautifully made up. Blue suited him well.
He stammered, "I mean, did you see the swing you did? In a skirt and everything?" Eddie mimicked the gesture. But since Steve didn't crack a smile, he continued talking:
"Like, I thought you were really beautiful and impressive. I was wondering if you were at my school, if we had classes together. Then all of a sudden, I realize you're Mr. Clean-Up Harrington, Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Care-About-Others-But-I-Can't-Laugh-Again Harrington. And I surprised myself by finding you handsome and impressive. That you might be different from the image I had of you. Contrary to the insults you like to throw at me, I... I'm not gay. I can't believe what you're doing to my sexuality. The questions you're making me ask myself. Anyway, don't worry, you'll easily find someone more than happy to kiss you." Eddie finally managed to fall silent. Faced with Steve's leaden silence, he began to fear he'd said too much. He might have crossed that imaginary line that would push Steve to stage his public lynching.
Steve stubbed out his cigarette under his foot and murmured to himself, never taking his eyes off Eddie:
"No one will believe you anyway."
Eddie didn't have time to question him before Steve Harrington kissed him.
Steve placed one hand on Eddie's shoulder and the other on the back of his neck. He pointedly avoided any contact below the belt but focused on the kiss.
Eddie, instinctively, placed one hand between Steve's shoulder blades and the other on the small of his back. He was rather used being used.
To prove he wasn't such a good girl.
To drive his family crazy.
To test a few things a respectable boy might have judged.
And as always, he felt a surge of pride at having been chosen. Because he was trustworthy enough.
Besides, it was Steve Harrington who had initiated the kiss. Steve Harrington, the male role model of their generation, the kind of child every parent would love to have.
He was the one who had put his tongue in Eddie's, of his own volition!
Steve Harrington, who hurled homophobic remarks at him because of his jewelry, his hair, his clothes, his hobbies, his aversion to team sports, the way he walked, the volume of his breathing.
That Steve Harrington!!!
Eddie was ecstatic!
Steve was right. No one would believe him. But they would know.
And Eddie didn't intend to let Steve forget his next hurtful comment.
Even though it was pleasant. Very pleasant.
Much more so than the media were saying.
He had expected to feel embarrassment, disgust. A sense of unease, that something was wrong. But none of that.
He never would have believed that Steve Harrington would be the one to show him that kissing a boy could be enjoyable. A Steve Harrington in a skirt!
He had a small, satisfied smile when Steve ended the kiss and stepped back.
"It's good."
"You're welcome."
Steve gave him a disdainful look. Eddie had a smug, idiotic look that Steve admitted was rather cute. But he was still a complete idiot.
In any case, he was relieved. Even if he hadn't managed to relax, the experience had been pleasant. He should be able to have normal relationships with girls without Nicky having ruined him.
He headed towards the stairs but couldn't manage the climb. All the blood rushed to his ears and he felt dizzy. He tugged at the hem of his skirt as if it could magically be longer.
He was trying to regain his composure when he let out a strangled cry.
Eddie was taking off his shoes and pulling down his pants.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
"We're swapping," he ordered, pants around his ankles and hands on his hips. "It'll fit me better anyway."
Steve couldn't believe his ears, but when Eddie insisted, he complied.
He took off the skirt, tossed it to Eddie, and received the pants with the same delicacy.
He had to admit he immediately felt more comfortable.
He chuckled at Eddie's squirming and intervened.
"Wait, put it on backwards."
He forced Eddie to turn his back and rearranged Eddie's skirt and top inside. He zipped up the side zipper. Then he turned Eddie back to face him to fasten the wide white belt.
Eddie was learning a lot tonight. Discovering that there was something rather sexy about getting dressed up.
He felt his cheeks flush and made a joke:
"Well, it suits me better than you."
"You couldn't look more like a girl," Steve retorted, tugging at a strand of Eddie's hair.
"What an asshole!" Eddie laughed.
Steve walked back upstairs but said with newfound confidence,
"That's how you love me."
And he left before knowing how Eddie would react.
Eddie, alone again in the cellar, with everything he thought he knew about him to turn upside down, rolled his eyes and muttered,
Attention : agression sexuelle oĂš toutes les parties impliquĂŠes (agresseur, victime, temoins) sont des mineurs saoul sans aucune supervision adulte. Ne pas s'attendre Ă ce que ce soit traitĂŠ "intelligemment" ou en tout cas avec beaucoup de maturitĂŠ
RĂŠsumĂŠ : Steve perd un pari et doit se travestir pour se rendre Ă une soirĂŠe
âââââââââ
Maneater - Hall & Oates
C'ĂŠtait l'annĂŠe 1982.
Durant un cours de sport, une classe de lycĂŠens devaient faire un match de basket amical.
Le hasard a voulu que Steve soit le capitaine de l'ĂŠquipe tee-shirt et Tommy celle des torses nus.
Les deux capitaines s'amusaient Ă rabaisser avec humour l'autre en disant que son ĂŠquipe allait ĂŞtre celle qui allait gagner. Une chose en entraĂŽnant une autre, ils finirent par faire un pari.
Le capitaine de l'ĂŠquipe perdante devrait aller ce soir Ă la fĂŞte de Tina habillĂŠ en fille et y rester pendant plus d'une heure.
Ni Tommy ni Steve ne voulaient subir une telle humiliation mais ils ne pouvaient pas non plus reculĂŠs.
à la grande joie de Tommy, son Êquipe avait gagnÊ à un point près.
"Alors Steve, tu sais dĂŠjĂ ce que tu vas mettre?
-Va te faire voir.
-Un pari c'est un pari. Si tu le respectes pas, pas la peine que tu te pointes.
-Je vais le faire." Affirma Steve en roulant des yeux
Il essayait de faire celui qui n'en avait rien Ă faire. Celui qui est trop cool pour s'en soucier.
Mais Ă la vĂŠritĂŠ, il ĂŠtait dĂŠjĂ rouge de honte.
Est-ce qu'il pouvait prĂŠtendre se sentir soudainement souffrant?
Est-ce que son père allait accepter qu'il sorte comme ça de chez lui?
Est-ce que sa mère accepterait qu'il utilise ses vêtements?
Il n'avait que quelques heures pour trouver quoi faire. Il ĂŠtait en panique totale.
Il ĂŠtait en train de reflechir Ă toute allure quand Carol lui prit un bras et Laurie un autre.
"Si tu nous amènes, on fera regretter Tommy d'avoir perdu." Lui promit Carol
Steve connaissait encore assez mal les deux jeunes filles car leur amitiĂŠ ĂŠtait assez rĂŠcente. Mais si quelqu'un pouvait faire regretter quoi que ce soit Ă Tommy, c'ĂŠtait bien Carol.
"Je passe chez toi Ă quelle heure?"
Elles eurent un grand sourire avant de lui rĂŠpondre.
âââââââââ
La fĂŞte avait commencĂŠ et une tension fĂŠbrile se rĂŠpandait Ă chaque minute qui passait.
Ă cause de ceux au courant du gage de Steve Harrington car ils voulaient tous voir le rĂŠsultat pour bien rire. Certains avaient mĂŞme retrouvĂŠ des appareils photo jetable pour immortaliser cet instant.
Plus il mettait de temps Ă arriver, plus l'imagination devenait cocasse et les remarques acĂŠrĂŠes.
"Je suis sĂťr qu'il s'est dĂŠfilĂŠ." Assura Reed
Il n'Êcouta pas ce qu'on lui rÊpondit car il repÊra trois belles filles de style très diffÊrents les mains vides. Il voulut assurer son coup et se dÊbrouilla pour leur apporter à boire.
Si elles Êtaient toutes aux cheveux châtains et yeux marrons, les morphologies et leur style de vêtement ne leur donnaient pas le même genre.
La première avait un faux air ingÊnue. Son jean Êtait un peu plus serrÊ que ce que la mode conseillÊ et sa blouse assez transparente pour faire croire que l'aperçu de son soutien gorge rose Êtait accidentel. D'ailleurs tout son maquillage Êtait dans ce registre.
La deuxième portait un pantalon large, un soutien gorge vert fluo par dessous un tee shirt en rÊsile et une veste en jean. Elle Êtait sÝre d'elle, s'imposait dans l'espace et dans l'esprit.
La troisième ne semblait pas tenir en place. Son regard ne cessait d'aller d'un coin à l'autre de la pièce. Elle portait une jupe en jean taille haute, un crop top bleu pastel à manche longue et col rond. Son fard à paupière Êtait bleu Êgalement et son gloss reflÊtait la lumière.
"Mesdemoiselle, leur dit Reed en leur donnant des verres, vous ĂŞtes en beautĂŠ ce soir."
Deux sur trois eurent un grand sourire. La troisième fronça les sourcils, mais pris le verre.
Reed eut un frisson d'envie. Elle sera peut ĂŞtre plus dur Ă avoir mais c'ĂŠtait ce qui lui procurĂŠ du plaisir.
Il observa leur visage pour se rappeler de leur nom. Il se retrouva embĂŞtĂŠ quand il ne parvint pas Ă placer le nom de sa proie.
"Reed, dÊcida-t-il de se prÊsenter en espèrant qu'elle le ferait à son tour
-Je sais."
Elle continuait de froncer les sourcils mais elle sembla plus curieuse que en colère.
Zut, est-ce qu'il s'agissait d'un laideron qui se l'ĂŠtait jouĂŠ Cendrillon?
Il eut un blanc oĂš Carole et Laurie se mirent Ă glousser.
Reed rougit à la fois d'embarras et de colère. Il se força à rester calme.
Laideron ou non. Si elle se croyait au-dessus de lui, il allait lui montrer.
"T'as un visage assez banal, mentit-il, j'arrive pas Ă te remettre. On a des cours ensemble?
-Reed, c'est moi." Dit-elle
Reed plissa des yeux avec un sourire mauvais. Puis ce fut la douche froide.
Elle Êtait aussi grande que lui sans talon, une voix plus grave que les deux autres. Laurie et Carole Êtaient partis bras dessus, bras dessous avec Steve après le cours de sport.
"Steve?! S'exclama-t-il outrĂŠ
-Ben oui."
Steve n'en revenait pas de ne pas avoir ĂŠtĂŠ reconnu plus tĂ´t. Quand personne n'avait hurlĂŠ de rire Ă son arrivĂŠe, il pensait qu'ils lui prĂŠparaient une mauvaise surprise.
Apparemment personne ne s'Êtait aperçu qu'il Êtait là tout simplement.
Reed devint tout pâle, balbutia puis partit l'air hagard.
Carole et Laurie explosèrent alors de rire après avoir passÊ quelques minutes à se retenir.
Steve se dĂŠtendit Ă son tour et ĂŠmit un petit rire. Peut ĂŞtre que cette soirĂŠe ne serait pas aussi humiliante finalement.
âââââââââ
Quelques instants plus tard, Tommy s'approcha du trio, mettant nonchalamment son bras autour de Carole.
Ils n'ĂŠtaient pas vraiment ensemble, mais ils s'en rapprochaient.
"T'as pas vu Steve? J'aurai pas cru qu'il se serait dĂŠgonflĂŠ.
-Je ne me suis pas dĂŠgonflĂŠ."
D'abord Tommy le regarda agacĂŠ. Il se demandait ce qu'elle lui voulait celle lĂ .
Il ĂŠcarquilla soudain les yeux en rougissant jusqu'au bout des oreilles.
"Oh putain ! T'es baisable !" Hurla-t-il
Ce fut au tour de Steve d'ĂŠcarquiller les yeux.
"Ăa va pas, toi !
-Non mais pas comme une tapette, essaya de se dÊfendre Tommy, comme une fille. Si t'en Êtais une. Allez viens ! Faut que les autres voient ça !"
Steve n'en avait aucune envie. Mais il se laissa tirÊ vers les autres garçons de son annÊe au courant du pari. Il ne pouvait pas être allÊ jusqu'au bout pour ensuite s'entendre dire qu'il s'Êtait dÊgonflÊ, parce qu'il se serait cachÊ toute la soirÊe.
Ăvidement ce fut humiliant. Il ĂŠtait rouge comme une pivoine et essuya plusieurs blagues et remarques de plus ou moins bons goĂťt. Mais bizarrement, rapidement, elles devinrent maladroitement rĂŠcĂŠrencieuses.
Le fait que Steve s'avère être une jolie fille gâcha un peu la blague mais ils avaient du respect qu'il avait jouÊ le jeu.
Après un moment, et l'alcool aidant, Steve finissait même par assumer. Il se laissait prendre en photo avec qui le voulait. Prenant certains garçons dans ses bras en disant que jamais plus jolie fille ne leur ferait ce plaisir.
Certaines personnes qui n'ĂŠtaient pas dans la confidence de la blague voulurent ĂŠgalement ĂŞtre pris en photo et discuter avec Steve. Pensant qu'il s'agissait d'une cĂŠlĂŠbritĂŠ locale.
L'une de ces personnes Êtaient Nicolas, dit Nicky. C'Êtait le cousin de deux ans plus âgÊ de Tina qui n'Êtait d'Hawkins et qui n'Êtait venu que pour y passer quelques jours. Autant dire qu'il ignorait tout de Steve Harrington et du microcosme que reprÊsentait le lycÊe de sa cousine.
Tout ce qu'il savait c'ĂŠtait qu'une jolie fille, de quinze ou seize ans, grande avec une poitrine plate mais un beau fessier, avait attirĂŠ son attention. Il ne serait pas contre se faire un beau souvenir Ă se vanter Ă son retour dans son lycĂŠe.
Il avait cru comprendre qu'elle s'appelait Stevie et elle n'ĂŠtait pas comme les autres filles parce qu'elle n'avait pas peur de boire seule avec des gars et riaient Ă leurs blagues aussi graveleuses qu'elles pouvaient l'ĂŞtre.
Il avait profitĂŠ d'ĂŞtre dans le groupe pour instaurer des contacts physiques faussement innocents en lui posant des questions dont il n'ĂŠcoutait pas les rĂŠponses.
La seule chose qui l'importait ĂŠtait de trouver un moyen de l'attirer loin de la foule.
Il songea utiliser qu'elle soit saoul pour prÊtexter d'aller la mettre dans une pièce pour qu'elle puisse "s'y reposer". Mais elle assurait qu'elle ne s'Êtait jamais sentit aussi bien et personne ne la lâchait.
Il commençait à s'imaginer à la lancer sur la table et la prendre devant tout le monde. Cela lui apprendrait à être une telle allumeuse.
L'occasion rĂŞvĂŠe vient de Tina.
"Je vais chercher la suite.
-Laisse j'y vais.
-Tu sais oĂš c'est?
-C'est pas ta première fête oÚ je viens." Rit-elle en se dirigeant vers la cave
Seule.
âââââââ
Steve avait ĂŠtĂŠ intĂŠressĂŠ quand il s'ĂŠtait proposĂŠ de remplacer Tina.
En vÊritÊ la seule règle que Tina faisait respecter chez elle Êtait n"e pas fumer dedans". Et Steve avait envie de fumer mais il faisait trop froid pour aller dehors.
Vu l'odeur de nicotine et d'herbe qui lui venait au nez malgrĂŠ un ĂŠvident courant d'air. Il n'avait pas dĂť ĂŞtre le seul Ă avoir eu l'idĂŠe.
Il tapota ses vĂŞtements puis soupira d'agacement en se rappelant que les poches de ses vĂŞtements ĂŠtaient trop petit pour y mettre un paquet de cigarette. Il regretta d'avoir refusĂŠ de prendre un sac Ă main.
Son plan avait ĂŠtĂŠ si parfait.
Il fallu un moment Ă son esprit embrumĂŠ de se rappeler ce que Tina voulait rĂŠcupĂŠrer pour ne pas ĂŞtre descendu pour rien.
Il ĂŠtait toujours en train d'essayer de rebrancher ses neurones quand il se trouva soudainement dans le noir.
Il eut Ă la peine le temps de se demander si les plombs avait sautĂŠs, qu'il se retrouva plaquĂŠ violemment contre un mur.
Il n'eut pas le temps de crier qu'une bouche s'ĂŠcrasa sur la sienne. Un baiser tout en langue et en dents qui manqua de le faire vomir.
La tĂŞte sonnĂŠe, il essaya de passer ses bras entre son corps et celui de son agresseur pour le dĂŠgager mais il n'y arriva pas.
Quand enfin il eut la bouche libre, il s'ĂŠcria :
"Stop ! Qu'est-ce qui se passe? Stop !
-Ne me dis pas que c'est ta première fois, roucoula une voix avant de violemment lui mordre la nuque, je ne te crois pas."
Steve hurla de douleur et ordonna Ă nouveau que cela cesse en vain.
Une main se plaqua sur sa gorge l'ĂŠtouffant, tandis qu'une autre remontait le long d'une de ses jambes.
Il s'efforça de les garder serrÊes en continuant de se dÊbattre.
"Je vais ĂŞtre gentil, si toi, tu es gentille."
Steve se mit Ă s'agiter encore plus.
"Par contre, si t'es une salope, je vais te donner une raison de pleurer."
La personne mit ses deux mains sur les ĂŠpaules de Steve et le ramena vers lui avant de le cogner de plus en plus violent contre le mur.
Steve n'arrivait pas à comprendre ce qu'il se passait. Il ne savait plus par oÚ se protÊger. Est-ce qu'il devait se protÊger ? Est-ce que ce ne serait pas plus simple d'attendre que ça passe? Il avait dÝ être confondu avec quelqu'un d'autres. Une fois la confusion passÊe, il pourrait partir.
Il essayait de retrouver son calme, mais avant qu'il n'y parvienne, son agresseur fut aspirÊ en arrière.
Il se laissa retomber sur le mur et glissa jusqu'au sol.
Le corps tremblant, les yeux ĂŠcarquillĂŠs, il chercha en vain Ă voir ce qu'il se passait.
Il entendait des bruits de coups, des cris, des râles et des insultes.
Il ne pouvait pas rester dans l'incertitude.
Doucement, il se força à se redresser et se dirigea à tâtons vers l'interrupteur.
Une ou deux fois, il sentit l'impact d'un corps ou d'un objet contre le mur près de lui. Il posa sa main sur sa bouche pour ne pas se faire repÊrer.
ArrivÊ à l'interrupteur, il sentit posÊ contre le mur un objet pouvant être une batte et l'attrapa avant d'allumer la lumière.
Il se retrouva nez Ă nez face au cousin de Tina, Nicky, et au dĂŠlinquant officiel d'Hawkins, Eddie Munson.
Ils ĂŠtaient tous les deux debraillĂŠs, le visage gonflĂŠ et en sang Ă cause des coups ĂŠchangĂŠs et le souffle court.
Steve leva ce qui ĂŠtait un bras de mannequin sans main fĂŞlĂŠ, et leur jeta un regard noir.
Il n'avait aucune idĂŠe de qui ĂŠtait son agresseur. Tout ĂŠtait allĂŠ trop vite et il avait encore du mal Ă reflechir.
"C'est lui ! Cria Nicky haletant en pointant du doigt Eddie. Va chercher les autres, on va lui faire sa peau !"
Eddie ĂŠcarquilla les yeux et le regarda sans un mot.
Non mais quel culot !
Mais il n'ĂŠtait pas rassurĂŠ. Ce coup de bluff pouvait marcher.
La fille lui adressa un regard si noir qu'il n'ĂŠtait pas sĂťr de la couleur de ses yeux, et les articulations de ses mains ĂŠtaient blanches tellement elle serrait son arme de fortune.
Quand Eddie comprit qu'elle allait porter un coup, il ne put que se crisper en fermant les yeux pour se prĂŠparer Ă l'impact.
Ă son grand soulagement, ce n'ĂŠtait pas lui qu'elle frappa.
Steve ressentit une satisfaction euphorique en voyant Nicky se roulait par terre en hurlant tout en se tenant la tĂŞte. Il vit qu'Eddie l'observa surpris et expliqua :
"Sa braguette est ouverte."
Eddie sous le choc ne put d'abord que hocher la tĂŞte. Mais, quand Nicky essaya de se redresser pour se jeter sur la fille en la traitant de salope, il rĂŠussit Ă nouveau Ă bouger.
Il lui attrapa les cheveux et le força à se mettre à genoux. Du coin de l'oeil, il avait vu un cutter avec du papier cadeau, et l'attrapa pour le plaquer contre sa nuque.
Cela eut l'effet escomptĂŠ. En infĂŠrioritĂŠ numĂŠrique, menacĂŠ par deux armes, dont une blanche, Nicky n'osa plus respirer.
"C'est toi ma salope, maintenant." Lâcha Eddie dont l'adrÊnaline lui faisait dire n'importe quoi
Steve plissa le nez, l'air dĂŠgoutĂŠ.
"T'es vraiment un grand malade.
-Oui, bon ... voilĂ ! Se dĂŠfendit Eddie. L'important c'est que maintenant ce gentleman va prĂŠsenter ses excuses. Et si, je dis bien si, elles sont acceptĂŠes, il pourra peut ĂŞtre partir entier."
Avant que Steve put dire quoi que ce soit, Nicky se justifia :
"Ăcoute, entre mecs on peut se comprendre. Regarde la. Elle m'a allumĂŠ toute la soirĂŠe. Si elle est Ă toi, je suis dĂŠsolĂŠ, mais c'est pas les signaux qu'elle m'a envoyĂŠ."
Steve qui n'en revenait pas de ces excuses, qu'il ne lui ĂŠtait mĂŞme pas adressĂŠ, ne put que dire :
"Tu rĂŠalises que je suis un mec ou t'es vraiment trop con?!"
L'air ĂŠtonnĂŠ similaire sur le visage d'Eddie et Nicky aurait pu ĂŞtre drĂ´le dans d'autres circonstances.
Nicky ne le crut pas.
"Mais non.
-Si.
-Mais non.
-T'es con en fait."
Soudain, une illumination ĂŠclaircie le visage d'Eddie.
"Harrington ! Tu portes bien le fard à paupière pour un mec qui m'a traitÊ de pÊdÊ à cause de mes bagues.
-J'ai perdu un pari. C'est quoi ton excuse?
-J'ai horreur d'ĂŞtre ennuyeux."
Nicky qui commençait à croire Steve, eut un sursaut dÊsespÊrÊ et chercha à se rapprocher de lui avant d'être arrêter à la dernière minute par Eddie.
"C'est pas possible ! Enlève ta jupe !
-Mais t'es pas bien, pauvre con !
-Pour avoir ĂŠtĂŠ au vestiaire, ajouta Eddie, je peux t'assurer que c'est bien un mec. Pas vrai, mon grand?"
Eddie fit un clin d'Ĺil Ă Steve ce qui lui provoqua une moue ĂŠcĹurĂŠe.
"Il n'y en a pas un pour rattraper l'autre."
Eddie ouvrit la bouche mais aucun mot eut le temps de sortir.
Tina dĂŠbarqua Ă la cave.
"Steve ! Qu'est-ce qui te met autant de temps?"
Elle s'arrĂŞta net face au drĂ´le de tableau qui lui faisait face.
"Bordel ! Qu'est-ce qui se passe?!'
Steve rougit de honte en soupirant et passant une main dans ses cheveux.
"Ton con de cousin a cru que j'ĂŠtais vraiment une fille et a voulu me baiser."
Il n'en revenait pas de devoir avouer une chose pareil. Surtout Ă une fille.
Heureusement qu'elle ĂŠtait descendu toute seule.
"Eddie ĂŠtait lĂ et m'a aidĂŠ. MĂŞme si je maĂŽtrisais la situation.
-Tu maitrisais la situation? S'Êtonna Eddie. C'est pas l'impression que ça donnait.
-Je ne t'ai pas demandĂŠ de l'aide Ă ce que je sache."
Tina se mit à hurler de rire, complètement saoul.
"Quel con ! Avec toutes les filles qu'il y a, tu as voulu te taper la seule qui a un penis !"
Nicky bouillonna de honte et begaya qu'il ressemblait ĂŠnormĂŠment Ă une fille.
"Pas tant que ça." Dit Steve
Eddie fit une moue l'air de dire "un peu quand mĂŞme".
"Allez, lâche-le." Dit-elle
Eddie observa Tina, puis Nicky avant de s'arrĂŞter sur Steve.
"Lâche le." Dit-il simplement
Eddie obĂŠit, mettant par rĂŠflexe le cutter dans sa veste, et Nicky tomba Ă terre.
Tina pliĂŠe en deux de rire, continua :
"Mais quel con ! T'imagine si tes parents apprennent que t'as voulu baiser un garçon? T'imagine si ta mère l'apprend?
-La ferme Tina !
-Mon silence a un prix. Dit-elle soudainement sÊrieusement. J'en ai marre que tu viennes foutre le bordel chez moi à chaque fois que tu fous le bordel chez toi. Alors si tu veux que ça reste entre nous, tu vas fermer ta grande gueule et me foutre la paix."
Nicky Êcarquilla les yeux et l'observa comme si c'Êtait la première fois qu'il la voyait. Quoiqu'il ait vu dans ses yeux, il s'enfuit la queue entre les jambes.
Tina se redressa, prit ce dont elle avait besoin Ă la cave et repartit en haut en reprenant son air jovial.
Eddie et Steve, eux ne bougèrent pas. Soudainement l'adrÊnaline redescendu brusquement, les rendant presque sobre. Et ils commencèrent à rÊaliser ce qu'il s'Êtait passÊ, ce qui aurait pu se passer.
Eddie finit par sortir son paquet de cigarette, en proposa une à Steve qui l'accepta sans un mot. Puis ils se placèrent à côtÊ de la fenêtre.
Eddie remarqua que Steve tremblait de la tĂŞte au pied maintenant, le regard dans le vague. Il essayait de trouver quelque chose Ă dire. Mais qu'est-ce qu'on est sensĂŠ dire dans ce genre de circonstances?
Eddie ĂŠtait toujours en train de rebrancher ses neurones pour trouver une idĂŠe de gĂŠnie quand il fut surpris par la voix de Steve :
"T'as dĂŠjĂ embrassĂŠ avec la langue?
-Oui ça m'est dÊjà arrivÊ."
Pas si souvent que ça, mais quand même !
"C'Êtait ma première fois. Avoua Steve l'air toujours dans ses pensÊes. C'est sensÊ être comment?
-J'en garde de bon souvenir. Au pire un peu drĂ´le.
-C'ĂŠtait ... ĂŠpouvantable. DĂŠgoĂťtant. Je ... tu ..."
Steve se battait à nouveau avec ses mots. Fronçant les sourcils, il Êvitait le contact visuel.
Eddie garda le silence. Il ne comprenait pas ce qu'il se passait, mais il avait l'impression que ce n'ĂŠtait pas le moment pour un de ses grands soliquĂŠs. MĂŞme si quelques idĂŠes lui venaient.
Steve soupira abattu avant de se tourner tremblant vers la porte de la cave.
"Il m'a bousillÊ, tu crois? C'est important la première fois, non?"
Eddie haussa les ĂŠpaules. Puis ne put s'empĂŞcher de rajouter :
"La première fois, c'Êtait à une soirÊe comme ça. La meuf m'a confondu avec son copain. Tu te doutes bien qu'il m'a gentiment cassÊ la gueule.
-Pas terrible. Admit Steve. Mais c'est pas la mĂŞme chose.
-C'est vrai."
Ils continuèrent quelques secondes à fumer en silence avant qu'Eddie ne put s'empêcher de rajouter :
"Tu devrais pas te prendre la tĂŞte maintenant. Tu verras bien la prochaine fois que t'embrassera avec la langue.
-C'est comme le plongeoir. MaugrĂŠa Steve
-Quoi?
-Plus j'attends, plus je vais avoir du mal Ă sauter."
Ce n'est pas qu'Eddie n'ĂŠtait pas compatissant mais encore une fois : qu'est-ce qu'on est sensĂŠ dire dans cette situation?
"Je suis sĂťr que n'importe qui Ă cette soirĂŠe serait d'accord d'ĂŞtre ton cobaye. Plaisanta Ă moitiĂŠ Eddie. MĂŞme moi, tu me fais me poser des questions sur moi-mĂŞme."
Il sursauta quand les yeux de Steve se fixèrent afin sur les siens.
SĂŠrieux, profond, d'une jolie teinte de marron, joliement maquillĂŠs. Le bleu lui allait bien.
Il bafouilla :
"Je veux dire, t'as vu le swingue que tu as fait? En jupe et tout?"
Eddie imita le geste. Mais comme Steve ne se dĂŠrida pas, il continua de parler :
"Genre je t'ai trouvÊ vraiment belle et impressionnante. Je me demandais si t'Êtais bien dans mon lycÊe, si on avait des cours en commun. Puis tout à coup, je rÊalise que tu es Monsieur-Propre-Sur-Lui Harrington, Monsieur-Je-Me-Fous-Des-Autres-Mais-J'ai-Pas-D'autodÊrision Harrington. Et je me suis surpris à te trouver beau et impressionnant. Que tu es peut être diffÊrent de l'image que j'avais de toi. Contrairement aux insultes que t'aime me balancer, je ... je ne suis pas pÊdÊ. J'en reviens pas de ce que tu fais à ma sexualitÊ. Des questions que tu me fais me poser. Enfin bref, t'inquiète, tu vas facilement trouver quelqu'un plus qu'heureux de t'embrasser."
Eddie rÊussi afin à se taire. Face au silence de plomb de Steve, il commença à avoir peur d'en avoir trop dit. Il avait peut être traverser cette ligne imaginaire qui pousserait Steve à organiser son lynchage public.
Steve Êcrasa sa cigarette sous son pied et murmura à lui-même, sans jamais lâcher Eddie du regard :
"Personne te croira de toute façon."
Eddie n'eut pas le temps de l'interroger qu'il se retrouva embrassĂŠ par Steve Harrington.
Steve posa une main sur l'ĂŠpaule d'Eddie et l'autre sur sa nuque. Il ĂŠvita ostensiblement tout point de contact sous la ceinture mais s'appliqua sur le baiser.
Eddie, par rĂŠflexe, posa une de ses entre les omoplates de Steve et l'autre dans le bas de son dos. Il avait plutĂ´t l'habitude qu'on l'utilise.
Pour prouver que l'on n'ĂŠtait pas une fille si sage.
Pour rendre dingue sa famille.
Pour tester quelques petites choses qu'un garçon de bonne rÊputation aurait pu juger.
Et comme Ă chaque fois, il ressentit une pointe de fiertĂŠ d'avoir ĂŠtĂŠ choisi. Car assez digne de confiance.
En plus c'est Steve Harrington qui avait initiÊ le baiser. Steve Harrington, modèle masculin de leur gÊnÊration que tous les parents aimeraient avoir comme enfant.
C'ĂŠtait lui qui avait mis sa langue dans celle d'Eddie, de son propre chef !
Steve Harrington qui lui balançait des remarques homophobe à cause de ses bijoux, cheveux, vêtements, hobbies, aversion pour le collectif sportif, sa façon de marcher, le volume de sa respiration.
Ce Steve Harrington !!!
Eddie jubilait !
Steve avait raison. Personne ne le croirait. Mais eux, ils sauraient.
Et Eddie ne comptait pas laisser Steve oublier Ă sa prochaine remarque blessante.
Quand bien même c'Êtait agrÊable. Très agrÊable.
Beaucoup plus que ce que les mĂŠdias en disaient.
Il s'ĂŠtait attendu Ă ressentir une gĂŞne, un dĂŠgoĂťt. Un sentiment de malaise, que quelque chose clochait. Mais rien de tout cela.
Il n'aurait jamais cru que Steve Harrington serait celui qui lui ferait dÊcouvrir qu'embrasser un garçon pouvait être plaisant. Un Steve Harrington en jupe !!
Il avait un petit sourire satisfait quand Steve mit fin au baiser et s'ĂŠcarta.
"C'est bon.
-Mais de rien."
Steve lui jeta un regard de dĂŠdain. Eddie avait un petit air d'imbĂŠcile heureux que Steve admit ĂŞtre plutĂ´t mignon. Mais il restait un sacrĂŠ imbĂŠcile.
En tout cas, il ĂŠtait rassurĂŠ. MĂŞme si il n'avait pas rĂŠussi Ă se dĂŠtendre, l'expĂŠrience avait ĂŠtĂŠ agrĂŠable. Il devrait pouvoir avoir des relations normales avec des filles sans que Nicky ne l'ait bousillĂŠ.
Il se dirigea vers l'escalier mais ne rĂŠussit pas Ă monter les marches. Tout son sang afflua Ă ses oreilles et il eut la tĂŞte qui tournait. Il tira sur le bord de sa jupe comme si elle pouvait magiquement ĂŞtre plus longue.
Il s'efforçait à retrouver son calme quand il poussa un cri ÊtranglÊ.
Eddie ĂŠtait en train d'enlever ses chaussures et de baisser son pantalon.
"Qu'est-ce que tu fous ?!
-On Êchange. Ordonna-t-il le pantalon aux chevilles et les mains sur les hanches. Elle m'ira mieux à moi de toute façon."
Steve n'en croyait pas ses oreilles, mais quand Eddie insista, il obtempĂŠra.
Il retira la jupe qu'il lui jeta et reçu avec la même dÊlicatesse le pantalon.
Il devait bien avouer qu'il se sentit immĂŠdiatement plus Ă l'aise.
Il pouffa en voyant Eddie se tortiller et intervint.
"Attends, tu la mets Ă l'envers."
Il le força à lui tourner le dos et rÊarrangea la jupe et le haut d'Eddie dedans. Il ferma la fermeture Êclair qui Êtait sur le côtÊ. Puis le mit de nouveau face à lui pour fermer la grosse ceinture blanche.
Eddie qui apprenait ĂŠnormĂŠment de chose ce soir. DĂŠcouvrir qu'il y avait quelque d'assez sexy Ă se faire habiller.
Il sentit ses joues rougir et fit une blague :
"Alors, elle me va quand mĂŞme mieux qu'Ă toi.
-Tu pouvais pas plus ressembler à une fille. Retorqua Steve en tirant une des mèches d'Eddie
-Quel enfoirĂŠ !" Rit Eddie
Steve s'ĂŠloigna pour retourner en haut mais dit avec un aplomb nouvellement retrouvĂŠ :
"C'est comme ça que tu m'aimes."
Et il partit avant de savoir comme Eddie allait rĂŠagir.
Eddie qui ĂŠtait Ă nouveau seul dans la cave, avec tout ce qu'il pensait savoir de chambouler, leva les yeux aux ciels et maugrĂŠa :
Inspired by @apomaro-mellow's work The Bright Side, specifically S01E07
Their works is much more lighthearted and sitcom-like than what I'm going to present. There should be four parts:
Note : I wrote this fic in french and I use Google traduction to translate it and I reread it. If you see mistake I am glad to know so I learn.
ENG Part 1 (this one's here), Part 2 (I search for the LightHouse), Part 3, Part 4
French Partie 01 (Ă la DĂŠrive), Partie 02 (Je cherche le Phare), Partie 03, Partie 04
Adrift
âI wanted to talk to you about something,â Hopper said.
âHere we go,â Steve said.
Jim Hopper, his legal guardian, had decided to take him fishing. One thing led to another, and they found themselves accompanied by their neighborâs two sons, Jonathan and Will Byers.
There was a moment of confusion when they thought Jim was going to announce that he was marrying their mother, Joyce born Maldonado. After all, Jim only took Steve fishing when he had something important to tell him.
Steveâs blood ran cold when Jim clumsily explained that he suspected they had feelings for each other.
He felt frozen inside. Jim knew why Steve had ended up in his care. He had been there.
How could he tell him something like that?!
And in front of witnesses.
In the middle of nowhere. On a rowboat in the middle of a lake with no witnesses.
âFeel free to say whatever you want,â Jim concluded, faced with their deafening silence.
Steve immediately denied what he had just said. Jonathan and Will were equally uneasy.
Finally, Jonathan calmed Steve by telling him that even though they weren't concerned, it was good to know that Jim could be trusted.
Steve understood that Jonathan was talking about his little brother, but he was thinking of his best friend, his platonic soulmate, and couldn't help but agree despite the inner turmoil.
He needed to understand what had led Jim to have this conversation with him.
âI don't understand what could have given you that idea. I've dated half the girls in town.â
âTwo words. Eddie. Munson.â
Steve was stung.
Eddie Munson was a boy just a year older than him. Against all odds, at least for Steve, they had become friends. They had become close because of his sister's friends, Jane Hopper.
In fact, Steve had noticed Eddie as soon as they arrived at their new house.
How could he not notice him?
He stood out with his metal-style clothing, his tattoos, his references to Dungeons & Dragons, known for being a satanic game. He also stood out because of his disdain for the hierarchy at their high school and for conventions in general. He was simply himself, without apology.
But never, ever, did he want anyone to imagine what Jim had imagined.
The rest of the day passed like a dream for Steve. He managed to respond to what was happening around him, but he felt as if he were above his body. He acted only on autopilot, unable to be present in the moment.
Regardless of Jim's intentions, he had propelled Steve far away.
In a painful place that smelled of blood and was steeped in terror.
âItâs okay,â Steve repeated to himself, âitâs okay. Come back now. Come back.â
Steve was trapped inside his own skin.
Try as he might to ignore what Jim had said, the words had sunk into his skull with the force of a kick, and he couldnât get them out.
He tried talking to Robin about it, but she didnât understand. She found Jimâs intention admirable and bristled when Steve vehemently denied what he considered an accusation.
âYou know,â she said, âthere wouldnât be anything wrong if you and EddieâŚâ
âStop! Never mind. Thereâs nothing between Eddie and me. I⌠Iâm not like that.â
âIâm just sayingâŚâ
âNever mind. I donât want to talk about it anymore.â
From that moment on, Steve unconsciously built a wall between them. He didnât want to hurt her, or make her feel bad for simply being herself. But clearly, she was so relieved to know she wasnât alone that she couldnât grasp how dangerous Jimâs behavior had been.
He no longer knew how to talk to her in a way that would make her understand without hurting her, so he didnât even try.
He also became very uncomfortable around the Byers family. Not only had the sons witnessed his humiliation, but their mother had also found out what Jim wanted to talk to Steve about. He no longer sought to spend time with Jonathan, not even just to smoke a joint, as they used to do. Besides, he didn't dare imagine what he might be accused of for spending time alone with the young man "for no reason."
When he chaperoned Jane and her friends, he was polite to Will but made sure they were never alone.
He tried to act normally around Jim so that Jim wouldn't have anything to reproach him for, but his anger towards him was such that he lost his temper at the slightest provocation. Jim wasn't a very patient man either; they argued frequently over the smallest things.
Jane found herself caught between the two of them.
Steve hated himself for that.
Jane deserved a healthy family where she could be happy, but he was ruining everything.
She'd found him sitting on the floor of his room, having a full-blown panic attack, on the verge of tears. And he hadn't been able to say anything to calm her down or help her understand what was happening to him.
Completely lost, Jim had confided in Joyce and shared Steve's past with her. Or at least what he knew of it.
He needed advice and respected Joyce's opinion. And besides, he felt so alone in what seemed like a constant battle against Steve.
Once he had finished explaining, he sighed.
âI shouldnât have brought it up with him.â
âYou just wanted him to know he was safe with you.â Joyce comforted him, still reeling from what she had learned.
âBut I did the exact opposite. He seemed to have finally blossomed here, and now heâs regressed in a way Iâve never seen before.â
âYou couldnât have known. I also thought this conversation would do them good. Thatâs why I wanted you to bring Jonathan and Will.â
She bit her lip. âIf I had known⌠You two should have stayed aloneâŚâ
âI donât think he would have taken it any better.â
They both sighed, unsure what to do.
âThis is going to be a long process,â Joyce said. âYouâll have to prove to him every day that heâs not in any danger. Heâll get better eventually.â
âYes. You must be right.â
But several weeks passed, and Steve didnât seem to be making any progress.
Worried about him, Joyce took advantage of running into him by chance to talk to him.
âSteve, Iâm so glad to see you.â
He just grumbled in response, but he did reply, so she decided to take it as a victory.
âYou know, we all love you. Jim loves you a lot.â
Steve looked at her with blank eyes, as if he were waiting for the most polite moment to extricate himself from the conversation.
âI know that with what happened to you, it must be difficult for you, butâŚâ
âWhat do you mean, âyou knowâ?â Steve cut him off coldly.
Joyce realized too late the mistake she had made. She had wanted Steve to know he had nothing to hide, that he had nothing to be ashamed of.
Instead, it was as if she had ripped his clothes off in public, forcing him to bare all.
âI mean, I thought I understoodâŚ
-What did Jim tell you?â
Faced with Joyceâs embarrassed silence, he continued, his voice trembling:
âHe told you everything, didnât he?"
"Steve, he was only thinking about you.â
Steve gave a forced laugh.
âI assure you! He just needed advice to help you out.â
"He just wanted to impress the woman he wants to sleep with.â Steve retorted angrily.
Joyce, who had never seen him be so rude, especially to an adult, was speechless.
âTake care of your sons and leave me alone,â Steve ordered before leaving.
Joyce warned Jim about his clumsiness, and while he initially criticized her for taking the initiative, he eventually thanked her for caring about his son and apologized for his bad behavior.
Regardless of the good intentions of the adults around him, Steve remained impervious to their words, withdrawing even further into himself.
And then there was Eddie.
Steve didn't know what to do about Eddie. Because he liked him and he was a good friend.
But now every of their interaction was tainted.
The slightest smile, the slightest joke, the slightest touch triggered indescribable terror in Steve.
He became vicious without being able to stop himself, despite the guilt that kept him awake at night.
âItâs been a while since Iâve seen you,â Eddie said to him one day.
âOh really? I hadnât noticed,â Steve lied.
Another time, Steve took one of his dates to the movies to see a film he was supposed to see with Eddie. When Eddie pointed this out, Steve retorted,
âWeâre not married, as far as I know. Of course I was going to go with her. I wasnât going to wait for you.â
Other times, when Eddie sought physical contact, like putting an arm around his shoulder, Steve brushed him off sharply, claiming Eddie smelled bad.
Other times, when Eddie persisted, just for fun, Steve would say,
âLeave me alone! Why do you have to be so clingy?â
Eddie had been on the verge of telling him to get lost, no longer able to tolerate Steveâs behavior.
But he liked watching him and noticed several things.
First, dark circles under his eyes. Those same eyes that filled with guilt every time he made a slightly too-mean remark.
His weight loss and neglect of his appearance also worried him.
Not to mention the way he constantly jumped, as if he expected to be hit.
Something was wrong, but he didn't know what.
But gradually, Steve isolated himself more and more, alone with his terror and the taste of blood in his mouth that made it hard to breathe.
Everyone was worried about him, but Steve kept building walls around himself, stronger and higher, and no one knew how to make him open up again.
Then came the point of no return.
Jim, encouraged by Jane, had decided to throw a barbecue at their house, inviting all their friends.
Steve was in his room. Jane had tried to convince him to come down, but he had fiercely refused, and Jim had told her :
âForget it. Insisting will only make things worse. Maybe when Robin gets hereâŚâ
Jane pouted and looked at him with a vengeful expression that startled Steve, who nevertheless remained steadfast in his position.
Lying on his bed in his room, Steve was flipping through a magazine. He had had to leave his window open because of the stifling heat and heard everyone gradually arriving.
When the gang of kids learned he refused to come down, they wanted to drag him out, but Steve, who had overheard their plan, quickly locked his door.
âCome on, Steve!â Dustin, the most determined of them all, called out. âOpen up!â
Steve couldn't help but smile, amused, and ignored them more out of amusement than a desire to be alone.
âWhat did I say?â Jim interrupted. âYou're not allowed upstairs. There's plenty of room in the garden without you messing up the bedrooms upstairs!â
âBut Steve didn't even say hello!â
âGood for him. Come down!â
The children grumbled and berated Jim under their breath, but they gave in.
A few moments later, a voice tickled Steve's ears.
âEddie!â
âHey! Are you okay?â
âHe'll listen to you!â
âWhat? Who?â
âSteve! He's in his room. He doesn't want to see us!â
âGet him downstairs! He'll listen to you!â
Red-faced with embarrassment, Steve jumped out of bed and closed the window so he couldn't hear them anymore.
âI think you've mistaken me for Dame BuckleyâŚâ
That was all he heard before closing the window. But his gaze met Eddie's without him seeking it.
He didn't want to understand the emotions that were coursing through Eddie and hid under the window.
His heart was racing in his chest, while his hands grew sweaty. He struggled to control his breathing; he felt like he was going to throw up.
He could feel the blood pumping in his skull, hard. Hard. Hard.
He just wanted to sleep and feel nothing.
He didn't know how long he stayed like that, sitting on the floor under his window, his eyes closed, but suddenly, knocks on his door made him jump.
âDingus!â Robin said. âWill you open it?â
Steve sighed deeply and got up. He felt immense relief when he saw that Robin was alone.
âI thought I'd see you with the others,â she said.
âHeadache,â he lied. âI didn't feel like being around so many people.â
âUgh! It's hot in your room. Open the window.â
Steve shook his head. It was already a lot for him to have opened his door; he didn't want to hear Eddie.
âAt least leave your door open,â Robin conceded, settling into bed and picking up the magazine he'd been flipping through.
âOkay.â Steve accepted, sitting down next to her.
Steve quickly relaxed and was able to laugh with Robin, who felt a great sense of relief. She felt like she was finally getting her Dingus back after several tense weeks.
Steve left his room for a few minutes to go to the bathroom, thinking that the day hadn't been so bad after all.
However, he was wrong.
When he returned, he heard Robin laughing and another, much deeper voice. He froze when he saw Eddie, all smiles, standing in his room.
âI have been entrusted with the very noble task of luring you out of your lair,â Eddie explained without a greeting.
âNo,â was all Steve could manage.
âCome on, Steve,â Robin exclaimed, getting up. âFive minutes. You must be hungry; you haven't eaten anything yet.â
âI'm not hungry.â
He barely had time to protest before Eddie grabbed his arms while Robin pushed him from behind.
âStop. Thatâs enough. I donât find this funny. Stop. Let go of me.â
Steve dragged his feet and used all his weight to slow them down, but Robin was determined and Eddie was strong.
They reached the top of the stairs despite himself. Steve considered letting them win to prevent them from falling and hurting themselves. Maybe if he went for a few minutes, they would let him go back to his room in peace.
Steve was weighing the pros and cons when he noticed Jim, with some other guests, downstairs watching them. Their eyes met, and Steve blushed with shame. But the worst part was when Jimâs gaze slid to Eddieâs hands holding his wrists which provoked amused laughter.
Suddenly, Eddie's touch burned his skin and made him feel nauseous.
"Don't touch me!" he yelled, losing his composure.
Robin and Eddie were so surprised by his reaction that they could only endure it. Robin fell heavily on his bottom and cried out, more in surprise than pain. Eddie nearly tumbled down the stairs; it was only thanks to his reflex to grab the handrail that he didn't tumble all the way down.
"Steve!" Jim yelled, running up.
"Eddie!" Dustin shouted at the same time, having seen everything.
Worried, Dustin bounded up the stairs, arriving before Jim to check on Eddie, who was trying to reassure him.
Realizing what he had done, what could have happened, Steve froze. He wanted to apologize, he had to apologize, but it was as if his body had frozen.
The fact that everyone had decided to come into the house to see what was going on after hearing loud noises didn't help at all.
âSteveâŚâ Jim began, but was interrupted by Dustin.
âWhatâs wrong with you?!â
âOh, Henderson!â Eddie exclaimed. âEverythingâs fineâŚâ
âYou could have broken your neck!â Dustin countered.
âI didnât ask you for anything!â Steve protested. âI was perfectly fine on my own. You guys came looking for me!â
âSteve⌠SonâŚâ
âIâm not your son!â
His statement sent a chill through the entire house. Many people had noticed that Steve always called Jim âJimâ and never âDad,â so everyone suspected something along those lines. But Steve's blunt confession surprised more than a few.
"Leave me alone," Steve whispered, staring at Jim before running to his room.
He ignored when they called after him and locked the door before collapsing to the floor.
He curled up into a ball, his head between his legs, forcing himself to breathe through his nose and fighting back the tears that burned in his eyes.
He ignored the knocking at his door.
"Leave me alone," he murmured.
He ignored apologies from Dustin, Robin and Eddie.
"Leave me alone."
He ignored Jim's pleas to open the door so they could talk.
"Leave me alone."
He ignored Joyce's diplomatic suggestion to end the little get-together.
"Leave me alone."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally, Steve had fallen asleep in that position after a massive, uncontrollable sobbing fit.
When he woke up, the house was unusually quiet. No TV, no radio. No footsteps. Nothing.
Night seemed to have fallen long ago. His entire room was bathed in darkness.
His whole body ached, and he groaned as he sat up. He pulled himself out of his clothes, trying to regain some semblance of normalcy by lying down in his bed.
He knew the situation couldn't continue like this.
He was going to end up hurting someone. Hurting himself.
He couldn't live like this. Gripped by anger and fear.
For the first time in a very long time, he allowed himself to delve back into his memories.
And only one conclusion came to him.
He had to leave. But he couldn't just leave like that; he had to prepare.
He made a checklist in his mind as sleep overtook him again.
The next day, Steve stayed locked in his room, packed his bag, studied the phone book, and reread the maps to figure out which route he needed to take.
He could have left that day, but Jim didn't leave the house for even a minute, and Steve didn't want him to see him go, hoping to buy himself a few hours before he looked for him.
If he looked for him.
Steve's heart sank in his chest, and he didn't know what would be worse.
Jim grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and punishing him like a child. Or perhaps he was relieved to see that Steve had left on his own.
When night fell again, Steve waited until he was sure Jim was asleep before going out.
He was about to open the front door, his bag on his back, his car keys in his hand, when he was called out to.
âAre you coming back?â
Steve jumped and turned to face Jane. She was in her pajamas and must have heard him slipping in.
âI⌠Iâm going to see some cousins.â
She frowned.
âIs that safe? With your parentsâŚâ
âThey wonât be here. They wonât even know Iâm here.â
Jane sighed as if Steve were crazy.
âWhat cousins?â
âThe ones I was staying with before I moved in with you.â
âBut youâre coming back?â
âI⌠I donât know, Jane,â Steve confessed.
Jane nodded and then walked towards him, determined. She grabbed his wrist and slipped his favorite hair tie inside.
âJane, I⌠I canât accept it.â
âOf course you can.â Her voice brooked no argument. âBe careful.â
âI promise.â
Without another word, they parted. Steve slid his car onto the road without starting the engine to avoid waking Jim; he didn't want to give him the opportunity to stop him from leaving.
Once it was impossible to block his car, he got in, started the engine, and drove off, forcing himself not to look in the rearview mirror.
InspirÊ par le travail de @apomaro-mellow The Bright Side plus particulièrement S01E07
Son travail est beaucoup plus joyeux et sitcom que ce que je vais vous proposer. Je dirais qu'il devrait y avoir 4 parties
French Partie 01 (c'est lĂ ), Partie 02 (Je cherche le Phare), Partie 03 (Ă Travers les Vagues), Partie 04 (Pour Rentrer au Port)
ENG Part 1 (Adrift), Part 2 (I search for the Lighthouse), Part 3 (Thougt the Waves), Part 4 (To Return to the Port)
Ă la DĂŠrive
âJe voulais vous parler de quelque chose. Dit Hopper
-Câest parti.â Dit Steve
Jim Hopper, son tuteur lĂŠgal, avait dĂŠcidĂŠ de lâamener Ă la pĂŞche. Une chose en entraĂŽnant une autre, ils se trouvaient accompagnĂŠs des deux fils de leur voisine, Jonathan et Will Byers.
Il eut une confusion oĂš ils crurent que Jim allait leur annoncer quâil ĂŠpousait leur mère, Joyce nĂŠe Maldonado. Après tout, Jim amenait Steve Ă la pĂŞche uniquement quand il avait quelque chose dâimportant Ă lui annoncer.
Steve eut le sang qui se glaça quand Jim expliqua maladroitement quâil se doutait quâils avaient des inclinaisons.
Il se sentit gelĂŠ de lâintĂŠrieur. Jim savait pourquoi Steve sâĂŠtait trouvĂŠ sous sa garde. Il avait ĂŠtĂŠ lĂ .
Comment pouvait-il lui dire une chose pareil?!
Et devant des tĂŠmoins.
Au beau milieu de nulle part. Sur une barque au milieu dâun lac sans tĂŠmoin.
âSentez-vous libre de dire nâimporte quoi.â Conclut Jim face Ă leur silence assourdissant
Steve nia immĂŠdiatement ce que venait dâavancer. Jonathan et Will nâen menaient pas large non plus.
Finalement Jonathan calma Steve en lui disant que mĂŞme si eux nâĂŠtaient pas concernĂŠ, il ĂŠtait bon de savoir que Jim pouvait ĂŞtre une personne de confiance.
Steve comprit que Jonathan parlait de son petit frère, mais lui, il pensa Ă sa meilleure amie, Ă son âme sĹur platonique, et ne put quâĂŞtre dâaccord malgrĂŠ le tiraillement dans ses entrailles.
Il avait besoin de comprendre ce qui avait amenĂŠ Jim Ă avoir cette conversation avec lui.
âJe ne comprends pas ce qui a pu te donner cette idĂŠe. Jâai dĂť sortir avec la moitiĂŠ des filles de la ville.
-Deux mots. Eddie. Munson.â
Steve fut piquĂŠ au vif.
Eddie Munson Êtait un garçon juste un an plus vieux que lui. Contre toute attente, en tout cas pour Steve, ils Êtaient devenus amis.
Ils sâĂŠtaient rapprochĂŠs Ă cause des amis de sa sĹur, Jane Hopper.
En rÊalitÊ, Steve avait remarquÊ Eddie dès leur arrivÊe dans leur nouvelle habitation.
Comment ne pas le remarquer?
Il sortait du lot avec son style vestimentaire style mĂŠtal, ses tatouages, ses rĂŠfĂŠrences Ă Donjon et Dragon, connu pour ĂŞtre un jeu satanique. Il sortait ĂŠgalement du lot par son dĂŠdain pour la hiĂŠrarchie Ă leur lycĂŠe et pour les conventions de manière gĂŠnĂŠrale. Il ĂŠtait simplement lui-mĂŞme sans sâen excuser.
Mais jamais, au grand jamais, il nâa jamais voulu que qui que ce soit puisse imaginer ce que Jim sâĂŠtait imaginĂŠ.
Le reste de la journĂŠe se passa comme un songe pour Steve. Il parvenait Ă rĂŠpondre Ă ce qui se passait autour de lui, mais il avait lâimpression de se sentir comme au-dessus de son corps. Il nâagissait que par automatisme incapable de sâancrer au moment prĂŠsent.
Peu importe les intentions de Jim, il avait propulsĂŠ Steve bien loin.
Dans un endroit douloureux qui sentait le sang et qui ĂŠtait baignĂŠ dans la terreur.
âTout va bien, se rĂŠpĂŠta Steve, tout va bien. Reviens maintenant. Reviens.â
Il avait beau tout faire pour passer outre ce que Jim lui avait dit, les mots sâĂŠtaient enfoncĂŠs dans son crâne avec la dĂŠlicatesse dâun coup de sabot, et il ne parvenait pas Ă les sortir.
Il essaya dâen parler avec Robin, mais elle ne comprenait pas. Elle trouva lâintention de Jim louable et se braqua quand Steve nia vigoureusement ce quâil considĂŠrait comme une accusation.
âTu sais, dit-elle, il nây aurait pas de mal si Eddie et toi âŚ
-Stop ! Laisse tomber. Il nây a rien entre Eddie et moi. Je ⌠Je ne suis pas comme ça.
-Je dis juste âŚ
-Laisse tomber. Je ne veux plus en parler.â
Ă partir de ce moment-lĂ , Steve construisit, inconsciemment, un mur entre eux deux. Il ne voulait pas la blesser, ni quâelle se sente mal pour ĂŞtre simplement elle-mĂŞme. Mais de toute ĂŠvidence, elle ĂŠtait tellement heureuse Ă lâidĂŠe de ne pas ĂŞtre la seule, quâelle ne pouvait plus comprendre Ă quel point le comportement de Jim avait ĂŠtĂŠ dangereux.
Il ne savait plus comment lui parler pour quâelle le comprenne sans la blesser alors il nâessaya mĂŞme pas.
Il devint ĂŠgalement très mal Ă lâaise en prĂŠsence de la famille Byers. Non seulement les fils avaient ĂŠtĂŠ prĂŠsents Ă son humiliation, mais en plus leur mère avait su de quoi Jim voulait parler avec Steve.
Il ne chercha plus Ă passer du temps avec Jonathan, mĂŞme juste pour fumer un joint, comme ils en avaient lâhabitude. De plus, il nâosait pas imaginer de quoi il pourrait ĂŞtre accusĂŠ en passant du temps seul Ă seul avec le jeune homme âsans raisonâ.
Lorsquâil servait de chaperon pour Jane et ses amis, il se montrait poli avec Will mais il sâassurait quâils ne soient jamais seuls.
Il chercha Ă se comporter normalement auprès de Jim pour quâil nâait aucun reproche Ă lui faire, mais sa colère Ă sâen encontre ĂŠtait tel quâil perdait son calme Ă la moindre contrariĂŠtĂŠ. Jim nâĂŠtait pas un homme très patient ĂŠgalement, ils se disputaient frĂŠquemment pour la moindre petite chose.
Jane se retrouvait coincÊ entre eux deux comme un Êtau. Steve se dÊtesta pour cela. Jane mÊritait une famille saine oÚ elle pourrait être heureuse, mais il gâchait tout.
Elle lâavait surpris assis par terre dans sa chambre en pleine crise de panique Ă deux doigts de pleurer. Et il nâavait rien pu lui dire pour quâelle cesse de s'inquiĂŠter ou pour quâelle comprenne ce quâil lui arrivait.
Complètement perdu, Jim sâĂŠtait confiĂŠ Ă Joyce et avait partagĂŠ avec elle le passĂŠ de Steve. Ce quâil en savait en tout cas.
Il avait besoin de conseils et avait du respect pour lâavis de Joyce. Et puis il se sentait tellement seul dans ce qui lui apparaissait comme un combat permanent contre Steve.
Une fois quâil eut fini de lui expliquer, il soupira :
âJâaurais pas dĂť aborder le sujet avec lui.
-Tu voulais juste quâil sache quâil ĂŠtait en sĂŠcuritĂŠ avec toi. Le consola Joyce qui se remettait de ce quâelle avait appris
-Mais jâai fait tout lâinverse. Il avait lâair dâĂŞtre enfin ĂŠpanoui ici et maintenant il a rĂŠgressĂŠ dâune manière que je nâavais jamais vu avant.
-Tu ne pouvais pas le deviner. Je pensais moi aussi que cette conversation leur ferait du bien. Câest pour ça que je voulais que tu amènes Jonathan et Will.â
Elle se mordit la lèvre.
âSi jâavais su ⌠Vous auriez dĂť rester que tous les deux âŚ
-Je ne pense pas quâil lâaurait mieux pris.â
Ils soupirent tous les deux incapable de savoir quoi faire.
âĂa va ĂŞtre du long terme. Dit Joyce. Il va falloir que chaque jour tu lui prouves quâil ne risque rien. Il finira par aller mieux.
-Oui. Tu dois avoir raison.â
Mais plusieurs semaines passèrent et Steve ne sembla pas montrer des progrès.
Inquiète pour lui, Joyce profita dâĂŞtre tombĂŠe sur lui par hasard pour discuter avec lui.
âSteve, je suis si contente de te voir.â
Il se contenta de grommeler pour lui rĂŠpondre mais il lui a rĂŠpondu alors elle dĂŠcida de prendre cela comme une victoire.
âTu sais, nous tâaimons tous. Jim tâaime beaucoup.â
Steve la regarda les yeux vides comme si il attendait le moment oĂš il serait le plus poli pour se dĂŠgager de cette conversation.
âJe sais quâavec ce qui tâai arrivĂŠ, ça ne doit pas ĂŞtre ĂŠvident pour toi, mais ..
-Comment ça âvous savezâ?â Le coupa froidement Steve
Joyce ne comprit que trop tard lâerreur quâelle avait commise. Elle avait voulu que Steve sache quâil nâavait rien Ă cacher, quâil ne devait avoir honte de rien.
Au lieu de cela, ce fut comme si elle lui arracha ses vĂŞtements en public, l'obligeant Ă se mettre Ă nu.
âJe veux dire, jâai cru comprendre âŚ
-Quâest-ce que Jim vous a dit?â
Face au silence gĂŞnĂŠ de Joyce, il poursuivit la voix tremblante :
âIl vous a tout dit, câest ça?
-Steve, il ne pensait quâĂ toi.â
Steve rit jaune.
âJe tâassure ! Il avait juste besoin de conseils pour tâaider au mieux.
-Il voulait juste se faire bien voir de la femme quâil veut sauter.â RĂŠtorqua hargneusement Steve
Joyce qui ne lâavait jamais vu ĂŞtre aussi mal poli, surtout envers un adulte, en perdit ses mots.
âOccupez-vous de vos fils et laissez moi tranquille.â Lui ordonna Steve avant de partir
Joyce prĂŠvenu Jim de sa maladresse et si il lui reprocha tout dâabord dâavoir pris les devants, il finit par la remercier de se soucier de son fils et sâexcusa pour son mauvais comportement.
Peu importe les bonnes intentions des adultes autour de lui, Steve ĂŠtait hermĂŠtique Ă leur discours, se repliant un peu plus sur lui-mĂŞme.
Et puis il y avait Eddie.
Steve ne savait pas quoi faire avec Eddie. Parce quâil lâapprĂŠciait et que câĂŠtait un bon ami.
Mais dĂŠsormais leurs moindres interactions ĂŠtaient salies. Le moindre sourire, la moindre blague, le moindre toucher provoquaient une terreur indescriptible chez Steve.
Il en devient mĂŠchant sans quâil ne puisse sâen empĂŞcher et malgrĂŠ la culpabilitĂŠ qui le maintenait ĂŠveillĂŠ la nuit.
âĂa fait un moment que je ne tâai pas vu. Lui dit un jour Eddie
-Ah bon? Je nâavais pas remarquĂŠ.â Mentit Steve
Une autre fois, Steve amena un de ses rendez-vous au cinĂŠma voir un film quâil ĂŠtait supposĂŠ voir avec Eddie. Quand celui-ci lui fit la remarque, il rĂŠtorqua :
âOn est pas mariĂŠ que je sache. Ăvidemment que jâallais y aller avec elle. Je nâallais pas tâattendre.â
Dâautres fois quand Eddie cherchait le contact, comme un bras par-dessus ses ĂŠpaules, Steve le repoussa sèchement prĂŠtextant quâEddie sentait mauvais. Dâautres fois quand Eddie insistait tout de mĂŞme par jeu, Steve disait :
âMais fous moi la paix ! Quâest-ce que tu as besoin dâautant me coller?â
Eddie avait ĂŠtĂŠ Ă deux doigts de lâenvoyer se faire voir, ne supportant plus le comportement de Steve. Mais il aimait Ă le regarder et il sâaperçut de plusieurs choses.
Tout dâabord des cernes sous ses yeux. Ces mĂŞmes yeux qui se remplissaient de culpabilitĂŠ Ă chaque fois quâil envoyait une pique un peu trop mĂŠchante.
Sa perte de poids et le manque de soin quâil apportait Ă sa personne, lâinquiĂŠta ĂŠgalement.
Sans parler de la manière dont il ne cessait de sursauter comme si il sâattendait Ă se faire frapper.
Quelque chose nâallait pas mais il ne savait pas quoi.
Mais progressivement Steve sâisola de plus en plus. Restant seul avec sa terreur et le goĂťt du sang dans sa bouche qui lâempĂŞchait de respirer.
Tous s'inquiĂŠtaient pour lui, mais Steve continuait de construire des murs autour de lui de plus en plus solide et de plus en plus haut sans que personne ne sache quoi faire pour quâil sâouvre Ă nouveau.
Puis vint le point de non retour.
Jim, encouragĂŠ par Jane, avait dĂŠcidĂŠ dâorganiser un barbecue chez eux oĂš tous leurs amis ĂŠtaient invitĂŠs.
Steve ĂŠtait dans sa chambre, Jane avait bien essayĂŠ de le convaincre de descendre mais il avait farouchement refusĂŠ et Jim lui avait dit :
âLaisse tomber. Insister ne fera qu'aggraver les choses. Peut-ĂŞtre que quand Robin va arriver âŚâ
Jane fit la moue et le regarda avec un air revanchard qui fit sursauter Steve, qui pourtant campa sur ses positions.
AllongĂŠ sur son lit dans sa chambre, Steve feuilletait un magazine. Il avait dĂť laisser sa fenĂŞtre ouverte Ă cause de la chaleur ĂŠtouffante et entendit tout le monde qui arrivait progressivement.
La bande de gamin en apprenant quâil refusait de descendre eut envie de le tirer par la force, mais Steve qui avait entendu leur plan alla rapidement fermĂŠ sa porte Ă clef.
âAllez Steve ! Tambourina Dustin qui ĂŠtait le plus dĂŠterminĂŠ. Ouvre !â
Steve ne put s'empĂŞcher dâavoir un sourire amusĂŠ, et les ignora plus par amusement que par dĂŠsir dâĂŞtre seul.
âQuâest-ce que jâai dit? Intervient Jim. Vous nâĂŞtes pas autorisĂŠs en haut. Il y a largement assez de place dans le jardin sans que vous alliez me mettre le bazar dans les chambres en haut !
-Mais Steve ne nous a mĂŞme pas dit bonjour !
-Grand bien lui fasse. Descendez !â
Les enfants râlent et incendient à voix très basse Jim mais abdiquèrent.
Quelques instants plus tard, une voix qui chatouilla les oreilles de Steve se fit entendre.
âEddie !
-Hey ! Ăa va?
-Toi il tâĂŠcoutera !
-Quoi? Qui?
-Steve ! Il est dans sa chambre. Il ne veut pas nous voir !
-Fais-le descendre ! Toi, il tâĂŠcoutera !â
Steve rouge d'embarras se leva dâun bond de son lit pour fermer la fenĂŞtre afin de ne plus les entendre.
âJe crois que vous mâavez confondu avec Dame Buckley âŚâ
Fut tout ce quâil entendit avant de fermer la fenĂŞtre. Mais son regard croisa celui dâEddie sans quâil ne le cherche. Il ne voulut pas comprendre les ĂŠmotions qui traversèrent Eddie et se cacha sous la fenĂŞtre.
Son cĹur s'emballait dans sa poitrine, tandis que ses mains devenaient moites. Il eut beaucoup de mal Ă maĂŽtriser sa respiration, il avait lâimpression quâil allait vomir.
Il pouvait sentir son sang pousser dans son crâne, fort. Fort. Fort.
Il avait envie de dormir et de ne plus rien ressentir.
Il ne sait pas pendant combien de temps il resta comme ça, assis par terre sous sa fenêtre, les yeux fermÊs, mais tout à coup, des coups contre sa porte le firent sursauter.
âDingus ! Dit Robin. Tu mâouvres?â
Steve poussa un profond soupir et se leva. Il ressentit un immense soulagement quand il vit que Robin ĂŠtait seule.
âJe pensais te voir avec les autres. Dit-elle
-Mal Ă la tĂŞte. Mentit-il. Je ne me sentais pas dâĂŞtre entourĂŠ par autant de monde.
-Pouah ! Il fait chaud dans ta chambre. Ouvre la fenĂŞtre.â
Steve secoua la tĂŞte. CâĂŠtait dĂŠjĂ beaucoup pour lui dâavoir ouvert sa porte, il ne voulait pas entendre Eddie.
âLaisse ta porte ouverte au moins. ConcĂŠda Robin en se posant dans son lit en prenant le magazine quâil feuilletait
-Ok.â Accepta Steve en sâasseyant Ă cĂ´tĂŠ dâelle
Rapidement, Steve parvint Ă se dĂŠtendre et put rire avec Robin qui en ĂŠprouva un grand soulagement. Elle avait lâimpression de retrouver enfin son Dingus après plusieurs semaines tendues.
Steve quitta sa chambre quelques minutes pour se rendre aux toilettes en pensant que finalement la journĂŠe nâĂŠtait pas si horrible que ça.
Pourtant il avait tort.
En revenant, il entendit Robin rire et une autre voix beaucoup plus grave. Il se figea en voyant Eddie tout sourire debout dans sa chambre.
âOn mâa confiĂŠ la très noble quĂŞte de te faire sortir de ton antre. Expliqua Eddie sans salutation
-Non. Fut tout ce que Steve put dire
-Allez Steve. Sâexclama Robin en se levant. Cinq minutes. Tu dois avoir faim, tu nâas encore rien mangĂŠ.
-Je nâai pas faim.â
Il eut Ă peine le temps de protester quâEddie le tira par les bras tandis que Robin le poussa dans le dos.
âStop. Ăa suffit. Je trouve pas ça drĂ´le. Stop. Lâchez-moi.â
Steve traina des pieds et utilisa tout son poids pour les ralentir, mais Robin ĂŠtait dĂŠterminĂŠe et Eddie avait de la force.
Ils arrivèrent bien malgrĂŠ lui en haut de lâescalier, Steve songea Ă les laisser gagner afin dâĂŠviter quâils ne tombent et se fassent mal. Peut ĂŞtre que si il sortait quelques minutes, alors ils le laisseraient retourner tranquillement Ă sa chambre.
Steve pesait le pour et le contre quand il sâaperçut que Jim, avec dâautres invitĂŠs, ĂŠtait au rez-de-chaussĂŠe et les regardait.
Leurs regards se croisèrent et Steve rougit de honte. Mais le pire fut quand le regard de Jim glissa sur les mains dâEddie qui lui maintenaient les poignĂŠes ce qui provoqua un rire amusĂŠ.
Soudainement le contact dâEddie lui brĂťla la peau et le rĂŠvulsa.
âNe me touche pas !â Hurla-t-il perdant son calme
Robin et Eddie furent tellement surpris par sa rĂŠaction quâils ne purent que subir. Robin tomba violemment sur ses fesses et poussa un cri plus de surprise que de douleur. Eddie, lui, manqua de chuter brutalement des escaliers, ce nâĂŠtait uniquement grâce Ă son rĂŠflexe de s'agripper Ă la rambarde quâil ne dĂŠgringola pas toutes les marches.
âSteve ! Hurla Jim en accourant
-Eddie !â Cria Dustin en mĂŞme temps ayant tout vu
Inquiet, Dustin grimpa les marches quatre Ă quatre arrivant avant Jim pour s'enquĂŠrir de lâĂŠtat dâEddie qui se voulait rassurant.
RĂŠalisant ce quâil avait fait, ce qui aurait pu se passer, Steve resta tĂŠtanisĂŠ. Il voulait sâexcuser, il devait sâexcuser, mais câĂŠtait comme si son corps ĂŠtait figĂŠ.
Le fait que tout le monde avait dĂŠcidĂŠ dâentrer dans la maison pour voir ce quâil se passait après avoir entendu de fort bruits, ne lâaidait en rien.
âSteve ⌠Commença Jim mais fut interrompu par Dustin
-Quâest-ce qui cloche chez toi?!
-Oh Henderson ! Sâexclama Eddie. Tout va bien âŚ
-Tu aurais pu te casser la nuque ! Le contredit Dustin
-Je vous ai rien demandĂŠ ! Se dĂŠfendit Steve. JâĂŠtais très bien tout seul. Câest vous qui ĂŞtes venu me chercher !
-Steve ⌠Fils âŚ
-Je ne suis pas ton fils !â
Sa dĂŠclaration jeta un froid dans toute la maison.
Beaucoup de personnes sâĂŠtaient aperçu que Steve appelait toujours Jim âJimâ et jamais papa, donc tous se doutaient de quelque chose dans le genre. Mais lâaveu aussi brutal de Steve en surpris pourtant plus dâun.
âFichez-moi la paix.â Chuchota Steve en fixant Jim avant de sâenfuir dans sa chambre
Il ignora quand on lâappella et ferma Ă clef avant de se laisser tomber sur le sol.
Il se prosta sur lui-mĂŞme, la tĂŞte entre ses jambes, se forçant Ă respirer par le nez et sâobligeant Ă retenir les larmes qui lui brĂťlaient les yeux.
Il ignora les coups contre sa porte.
âFichez-moi la paix.â Murmura-t-il
Il ignora les excuses de Dustin, celles de Robin, celles dâEddie.
âFichez-moi la paix.â
Il ignora les supplications de Jim dâouvrir la porte pour quâil discute.
âFichez-moi la paix.â
Il ignora la proposition diplomate de Joyce de mettre fin Ă la petite soirĂŠe.
Finalement Steve sâĂŠtait endormi dans cette position après avoir eu une ĂŠnorme crise de sanglots quâil nâĂŠtait pas parvenu Ă contrĂ´ler.
Quand il se rĂŠveilla, la maison ĂŠtait exceptionnellement silencieuse. Pas de bruit de tĂŠlĂŠ, de radio. Pas de bruit de pas. Rien.
La nuit semblait ĂŞtre tombĂŠe depuis longtemps. Toute sa chambre ĂŠtait baignĂŠe dans lâobscuritĂŠ.
Tout son corps ĂŠtait endoloris et il grogna en se redressant. Il sâextraira de ses vĂŞtements, essayant de retrouver un peu de normalitĂŠ en se couchant dans son lit.
Il avait conscience que la situation ne pouvait pas continuer comme ça.
Il allait finir par faire du mal Ă quelquâun. Ă se faire du mal.
Il ne pouvait pas vivre comme ça. Ătreint par la colère et la peur.
Pour la première fois depuis très longtemps, il accepta de se replonger dans ses souvenirs.
Et une seule conclusion lui vint.
Il devait partir. Mais il ne pouvait pas partir comme cela, il devait se prĂŠparer.
Il forma une check list dans son esprit alors que le sommeil le prit Ă nouveau.
Le lendemain Steve resta enfermĂŠ dans sa chambre, il prĂŠpara son sac, il ĂŠtudia lâannuaire et relut les cartes afin de connaĂŽtre le chemin quâil devait prendre.
Il aurait pu partir ce jour-lĂ , mais Jim ne quitta pas la maison ne serait-ce quâune minute et Steve ne voulait pas quâil le voit partir afin de gagner quelques heures avant quâil ne le cherche.
Si il le chercherait.
Le cĹur de Steve se serra dans sa poitrine et il ne savait pas ce qui serait le pire.
Jim qui vient le chercher par la peau du cou et qui le punit comme un enfant.
Ou bien quâil soit soulagĂŠ en voyant que Steve est parti de lui-mĂŞme.
Quand la nuit arriva Ă nouveau, Steve attendit dâĂŞtre sĂťr que Jim ĂŠtait endormi avant de sortir.
Il allait ouvrir la porte dâentrĂŠe, son sac sur son dos, ses clefs de voiture dans la main quand il fut interpellĂŠ.
âTu reviens?â
Steve sursauta et se retourna pour faire face Ă Jane. Elle ĂŠtait en pyjama et avait dĂť lâentendre se faufiler.
âJe ⌠je vais voir des cousins.â
Elle fronça les sourcils.
âCâest prudent ? Avec tes parents âŚ
-Ils ne seront pas lĂ . Ils ne sauront mĂŞme pas que je suis lĂ .â
Jane soupira comme si Steve ĂŠtait insensĂŠ.
âQuels cousins?
-Ceux chez qui jâĂŠtais avant dâhabiter avec vous.
-Mais tu reviens?
-Je ⌠Je sais pas Jane.â Avoua Steve
Jane acquiesça puis sâavança vers lui dĂŠterminĂŠ. Elle lui attrapa le poignet et lui glissa son chouchou fĂŠtiche.
âJane, je ⌠je peux pas lâaccepter.
-Bien sĂťr que si. Sa voix nâacceptait aucune contradiction. Fais attention Ă toi.
-Promis.â
Sans un mot de plus, ils se quittèrent.
Steve fit glisser sa voiture sur la route sans la dĂŠmarrer pour ĂŠviter de rĂŠveiller Jim, il ne voulait pas lui donner lâopportunitĂŠ de lâempĂŞcher de partir.
Une fois quâil ĂŠtait impossible de bloquer sa voiture, il sây installa, dĂŠmarra et partit en sâobligeant Ă ne pas regarder le rĂŠtroviseur.
Inspired by this post, I decide to write the saddest version possible
I first write in french and use google traduction for this version
âHave you ever been in love?â
Steve leans against the wall next to the bathroom. He lets Robinâs voice drift through his mind and closes his eyes.
The question plunges him into memories that have never left him.
#
Itâs 1983. Steve has no problems in his life, except for the typical high school troubles that seem like the end of the world to him.
His problem today: Nancy Wheeler.
He finds her different from other girls. While she may seem reserved at first, she reveals a strength and a concern for others that attracts him.
She doesnât care about others in the same way he does. Of course, the opinions of those around her can hurt her, but she cares most about their well-being.
She always has a kind thought for someone who seems to be struggling.
She seems attracted to him; she's given him a few signals, but she's not as direct as the other girls he's dated. He has to earn her attention and prove himself worthy.
And every time he succeeds, it gives his ego a somewhat addictive boost.
That day, he decides to push his luck by suggesting a date in the restroom. Hidden enough for him to kiss her however he pleases, but public enough for her to know he'll behave.
Perfect.
He's standing by the lockers, note in hand; he just has to slip it in and wait for her. Suddenly, a basketball hits him right in the face. âReflex!â Brian shouts, laughing.
âYouâre an idiot,â Steve snaps, throwing the ball right after putting the slip of paper in the slot.
âWhat are you doing?â
âMind your own business!â Brian continues to tease him for a moment, then finally leaves him alone. Steve curses him for messing up his hair when he was supposed to see Nancy. No one knew, but his hair requires a lot of maintenance to achieve that look.
He trembles with impatience as he heads to the bathroom; heâs sure Nancy must have seen his note and gone in. In a few moments, heâll be able to take her in his arms, kiss her, and ask her out! Itâs hard to describe his disappointment when he comes face to face with Eddie âThe Nuttyâ Munson.
âWhatâs he doing here?â Is he thinking?
He's about to ask him the question when Eddie says,
"So, are you going to make up your mind, Harrington? I don't have all day."
"What?"
"This note. Is it really from you?" he adds, showing him the note he'd scribbled that was supposed to be given to Nancy.
Did she decide to play a joke on him by giving the note to Eddie?
It would sound like something Tommy or Carole would do, but not Nancy.
What could have happened?
"What's your locker number again?" Steve asks, already preparing for the answer.
Eddie answers, frowning, clearly perplexed by the situation. Steve sighs, rubbing his hands over his face; Eddie's locker is right next to Nancy's. When Brian threw him the ball, he'd stepped aside and hadn't checked the locker again before putting the note in.
How embarrassing!
He couldn't believe he'd put "Crazy Guy" in his locker. Had Brian seen it? What on earth was he going to tell the others?
The situation was beyond awkward.
He'd accidentally asked Eddie Munson out in the bathroom for a quickie!
He'd never get over it!
And what was Munson even doing there? Did he want them to kiss? Steve had thought he wasn't his type.
Not because he was athleticâdespite all his talk, Eddie was always very nice to the cheerleaders. But because of his package.
There were a lot of rumors about Eddie, but Steve hadn't believed them.
After all, all it took was refusing to go out with a girl just because you found her ugly or boring to get called a faggot.
So it must be true.
Steve looked at it between his fingers with newfound interest.
Was he really Eddie's type, or was he just practicing while waiting to get a girlfriend, like Steve and Tommy had done before?
Should he go through with it?
For some reason he couldn't explain, Steve couldn't convince himself that he should just admit to Eddie that he'd received the note by mistake.
Eddie was known for his explosive temper. What if he got offended and wanted to fight, or spread awful rumors about Steve?
Or worse, if the rumors about Eddie's homosexuality were true, would the ones about his satanic practices be true as well? Not that Steve was particularly religious, but it still worried him a little.
Eddie's fierce expression softened after his long, too long, silence. Eddie slumped against the wall of one of the stalls, his arms hanging loosely at his sides.
"Listen, if you're still interested, it's not
"Serious," he said reassuringly. "You have the right to back out, you know?"
"I'm not a coward!" Steve protested, red with embarrassment and misplaced pride. One kiss was nothing. Steve had already kissed several people, including boys for practice or stupid bets. One more kiss wouldn't make much difference. He took a long step closer to Eddie, framed his face with both hands, and pushed him a little further into the closet so they were hidden. "Wh�" Eddie starts to kiss, but stops himself with a start when Steve kicks the door shut.
Quick and easy.
Especially easy. Steve has a reputation, and he doesn't want it ruined by a botched job.
He carefully places his lips on Eddie's. Even though his whole body resists, he takes it slow.
Contradiction has driven some girls a little crazy before.
He tenderly caresses Eddie's cheekbones as he continues the kiss. He realizes he really smells of cigarettes and sweat. He could have at least chewed some gum faster!
After a few seconds, Eddie is still motionless. His arms are still at his sides; he doesn't even move his lips or his head. Steve is almost certain he still has his eyes open.
What a weirdo!
"He must have wanted to practice," Steve muses, faced with Eddie's apparent lack of skill. Definitely not Tommy, but maybe someone from the swim team, maybe Harvey, had told Eddie he could help. How Harvey and Eddie even started talking about their kissing practice, I don't want to know.â Since Eddie remained as still as a statue, Steve began to back away, wanting to talk and offer advice. This jolted Eddie awake. His arms wrapped around Steve's waist, preventing him from pulling away. He slid one hand down Eddie's back until it rested on the nape of his neck, and they resumed kissing. âFinally!â
Finally, Eddie seemed to know what he was doing. He must have needed reassurance more than practice.
He discreetly opened one eye to glance at his watch, so as not to miss the alarm, but unexpectedly, he let himself be distracted when Eddie decided to deepen their kiss and intertwine their tongues.
Oh.
He really knew what he was doing.
Steve couldn't remember how long it had been since he'd been pleasantly surprised by a kiss.
His hands left Eddie's face.
Curious, he slid one of them toward one of Eddie's nipples, hidden beneath his clothes. He wanted to test the rumor that Eddie had pierced nipples.
He was a little disappointed not to feel anything.
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't have any breasts for you to grope," Eddie spat angrily.
"I don't mind." He was surprised it was true.
He put one hand in Eddie's hair and the other on his hip, resuming the kiss before Eddie could say anything.
In retaliation, Eddie placed one hand on Steve's buttocks and pinched them.
Taken aback, Steve let out a small cry, and Eddie glared at him, daring him to say anything.
In response, Steve bit Eddie's lip, pulling his hair, and from then on, they completely lost control of the situation and the passage of time.
They were practically about to rip off each other's shirts when the final bell rang.
They jumped and stared at each other, bewildered, unsure of what to do next.
"I have to⌠I have to go," Steve finally said after forcing himself to pull away. "My dad will rip my head off if I miss too many classes." âYes⌠Yes, of course⌠I have to go too.â
âYeah, so Iâm going toâŚâ
âYeah, IâŚâ Steve quickly picked up his bag, which he had dropped on the floor, before opening the door to leave. He was in the hallway when Eddie stopped him at the last moment and said, âIâm at the picnic table behind the school after class, if⌠if you wantâŚâ
âYeah⌠Okay⌠Yes, I⌠I have to go.â Steve stammered.
Eddie abruptly let go of him as if he'd been burned, raising his hands as if to prove to Steve that he wasn't armed.
Their awkward silence was broken by a supervisor who shouted at them to go to class.
#
From that day on, Steve and Eddie continued to see each other.
At first, Steve's interest, and surely Eddie's too, was purely physical, but by making excuses to see each other, they ended up getting to know one another.
They didn't have many common interests.
Eddie was proud of hating sports and not excelling at them, while Steve didn't know much about music; he just knew whether he liked it or not.
But they shared a similar mocking sense of humor, an ability to listen to topics that didn't interest them, and a sensitivity to the weight of judgment.
of others and expectations of them, even if they react in diametrically opposed ways.
Steve also likes to talk to him about his relationship problems. Eddie is just as romantic as Tommy, but unlike Tommy, his advice isn't limited to simply "sleep with her or move on to the next one." But he had a lot of imagination, and often his seduction plans were at least funny.
Sometimes Steve thinks Eddie deliberately gives him bad ideas so he'll embarrass himself in front of Nancy. But strangely, he doesn't find him petty like Tommy and very rarely holds it against him.
Steve is at his locker, chatting with Tommy and Carole. His parents are going on a trip, and they're thinking about having a party while they're gone. Carole remarks that this is a good opportunity to make things happen with Nancy.
He suddenly feels something pressing against his back.
"This is a robbery, stay calm, honey, and everything will be fine."
Steve chuckled and turned to face Eddie.
âHi Ed.â
âHey Stevie.â
âCrazy.â Tommy coughed, trying to get a laugh.
But even Carole preferred not to give him the satisfaction so as not to upset Steve.
âDonât be a jerk,â Steve said, then turned his attention back to Eddie. âIf I were you, Iâd be a little nicer.â
âYou got the goods?â Eddie smiled.
Steve opened his locker again to get a book. Eddie tried to grab it as soon as he saw it, but Steve pushed it out of his reach, saying,
âI managed to convince my cousin to lend it to me. My headâs on the chopping block, so youâd better be careful.â
âIâll be very careful,â Eddie promised. âWhat makes you doubt it?â
âIâve seen your room. More than once.â He reminds Steve.
Clearly embarrassed that his messy side was being brought up again, Eddie blushed and tucked a lock of hair in front of his face.
âYou can trust me with your life, Iâll take great care of it.â
Steve smiled and gave him the book âTitus Groan.â Tommy frowned and asked,
âWait, the cousin who gave you the book, is that Beth?â
âSo?â
âSheâs a bitch! Every time you ask her for a favor, she wants some stupid thing in return!â
âDonât call Beth a bitch.â
âAre you sure I can take it?â
âYes, yes. Donât listen to her. Itâs just that once he asked her for a glass of water and she only agreed to serve him if he did the can-can.â Steve explained, miming the dance.
Tommy was offended while Carole and Eddie laughed at Steveâs little dance. But the tone changed abruptly when Steve saw Nancy and rushed over to invite her to his place.
As she hesitated, glancing at Barb, Steve grabbed Eddie, who had stayed close by.
âEddie will be there too. That way weâll be an even number.â
Everyone looked at him as if he were crazy. At the same time, no one in their small group was likely to think that Barb and Eddie had any connection.
âIâll be there? Thatâs a new one.â
âDonât you have anything better to do than hang out with us on a Tuesday night?â
âMy dance card is overflowing, honey.â
âHeâs joking, heâll be there.â Steve insisted. Eddie raised his middle finger and then bowed to Nancy and Barb before leaving.
#
That evening, Tommy and Carole went to Steveâs place quite early to prepare for the party.
âDo you really think theyâre coming?â Tommy asked. âHonestly, they seem so uptight.â
âItâs true, youâd think we were inviting them to an orgy or something.â Carole rolled her eyes.
âTheyâll come,â Steve said, mostly to reassure himself, but honestly, he found himself more than once staring at the door, hoping to see Eddie.
âAnd Eddie, do you think heâs coming?â Steve shrugged.
âIt would be nice if he did.â Seeing Steve and Caroleâs surprised looks, he explained,
âI wouldnât mind a joint.â The doorbell rang. Steve trotted to the front door, forcing himself to look cool before opening it.
He felt a deep and surprising disappointment when he saw Nancy.
He didnât understand himself. It was Nancy he wanted to see. This party was mainly about spending time with her. Why was it Eddie he was hoping to see when he opened the door?
He quickly recovers and greets Nancy and Barb with a smile.
The evening was going well; Nancy had loosened up by downing a beer, and Barb had wanted to try it but had cut her hand when Eddie arrived.
âWhat did I miss?â he asks, seeing the commotion around her.
âItâs nothing!â exclaims Barb. âWhereâs the bathroom?â
Steve quickly points her in the right direction, then, seeing Eddieâs disapproving look, gets defensive.
âWhat?â
âJust because you want to sleep with his girlfriend doesnât mean you have to act like a jerk.â
âOh!â sing Tommy and Carole, who always had fun when there was trouble in paradise.
âThatâs irrelevant! You saw she wanted toâŚâ
"Just leave her alone!" Nancy, red with shame, didn't know what she was supposed to do and stared at the two boys, tears of embarrassment welling in her eyes.
Eddie didn't even try to answer Steve and went to Barb to help her and make sure the cut was superficial.
Tommy managed to lighten the mood by pushing Carole into the water and then jumping in himself. Steve quickly followed suit, pushing Nancy and swimming with them.
He didn't understand why Eddie had attacked him immediately after arriving late. Steve hadn't forced Barb to imitate them, nor did he want her to get hurt. Just because he didn't get along with her didn't mean he wanted to harm her.
If Eddie preferred to play the moralizing father figure rather than enjoy a nice evening with Steve, then that was his problem.
Nevertheless, he kept glancing back towards the house, hoping to see him again.
Finally, The four of them left the pool, soaked to the bone, without Barb or Eddie joining them.
Tommy and Carole joked that they must finally be getting along before deciding to take over Steve's mother's room.
This idea made him feel uneasy in a way he didn't understand.
He needed to find them and know why they hadn't joined them.
"I'll go see what they're doing. If you want, you can get some clothes from my room to change," he said, showing her how to get to his room. Nancy blushed again and started up the stairs when Barb and Eddie appeared.
"Nancy," she called. "What are you doing?"
"My clothes are soaked, I'm going to change in Steve's room."
Her answer made Eddie laugh, who was still looking at Steve disapprovingly.
"What?"
"You look awful." Your hair looks awful. That's your only good point, though.
"Fuck off! What's the big deal, you jerk?"
"I hit a nerve. Relax, Harrington. I was just kidding."
"Yeah, right. You're late, you're looking for trouble⌠What's wrong with you?"
"I can't believe I put myself through this." Eddie grumbled before turning on his heel and heading out into the garden to light a cigarette.
"I'll be right back," he told the girls before chasing after Eddie.
But they weren't listening, as they were also arguing.
Eddie was pacing back and forth on the patio, puffing on his cigarette, when Steve joined him.
"What's going on?"
"I'm being stupid." Eddie muttered, "EddieâŚ" He approached him and managed to stop him pacing by grabbing his arm at the elbow. He had to tell him something, anything. He couldn't stand the tension between them. When Eddie finally faced him and looked at him directly, Steve felt his heart pound and his knees buckle. Eddie's intense gaze held him captive; he had no choice but to succumb to his lips. Without thinking, driven by a reflex he didn't want to admit he possessed, Steve placed his hands on Eddie's cheeks and tried to kiss him. But he couldn't feel Eddie's lips on his because Eddie had firmly placed one hand on Steve's chest, keeping him at a distance. "Steve, what are you doing?" From that simple sentence, Steve felt all of Eddie's passion leave him, replaced by a weariness that was unlike him.
âWhat?
-That. Between you and me.
-Yeah, so what?
-So what? You want to kiss me right before going to sleep with Nancy. What are you doing, Steve? What do you want in the end?
-It's nothing. We're just kissing, it doesn't mean anything.
-It means something to me. I can't go on like this.â Steve doesn't like where the conversation is going and tries to change the subject, wanting to pull Eddie towards him. But Eddie keeps his feet firmly planted on the ground and his arm outstretched.
âSo now you have a choice. Either you kiss me and stay with me. Or you go back to Nancy, and that, between you and me, is over.â Steve felt his blood run cold at those words.
How would it end? Couldn't they be friends anymore?
No. He wanted to stay Eddie's friend.
But the other option⌠it wasn't possible, and for good reason.
âI'm not gay, Eddie. There's no way we're dating or anything.â
If there had been any hope in Eddie's heart, Steve had just extinguished it beyond repair. Eddie's beautiful dark eyes welled up with tears, filled with disappointment and resignation.
âIf you are. Spit it out, Eddie. You just don't have the guts to admit it to yourself.â Steve was about to say something, even though he didn't know what, when Barb joined them on the terrace.
âNancy wants you to know she's waiting in your room to find out which clothes she can borrow.â She spits out, her voice hoarse and her eyes red.
None of
Three were under no illusions about what was about to happen.
Nancy had made her choice. It was Steve's turn.
"I⌠I'm coming," she said before turning back to Eddie. "I'll be right back." Eddie pursed his lips and closed his eyes, letting tears stream down his cheeks. He shook his head. And when Steve took a step back, he gasped.
Steve couldn't bear to see him like this. He wanted to hug him, kiss him, make him smile. He longed to kneel at his feet, begging for forgiveness.
But he wasn't gay. Eddie must have known that.
Steve was attracted to girls, he was attracted to Nancy.
He had to save his friendship with Eddie, but he couldn't afford to ruin his reputation.
"Just stay here, I won't be long. I'll be back and we can talk about it some more." Eddie kept shaking his head but didn't move as Steve kept telling him to stay, even though he was the one leaving.
That was the last time he saw Eddie.
#
When he reached Nancy, he almost hoped nothing would happen. He offered her some clothes and turned around so she could change.
He tried to peek out his window, but he couldn't see outside because he was too far away.
"Steve." He looked at her, a little lost. Nancy was standing in front of him, her bra exposed, her gaze determined, though a little frightened.
This was the moment he'd been waiting for. She was finally giving in to his advances.
"I don't want to." The thought hit him with such force that he felt dizzy.
"No. I don't want to. I don't want to be here. I have to find Eddie."
He had to tell her no gently. Maybe use the fact that Barb had to wait for her.
âIf you are. You just donât have the guts to admit it to yourself.â
Eddieâs words froze him in place again. He was lying. It wasnât true.
And no one was supposed to believe it was even a possibility?
What if, by pushing Nancy away, she started to believe it. What if she told everyone?
Or Tommy and Carole, who were right next to him and had been giving him strange looks ever since he became friends with Eddie.
A decent guy has no reason to say no. It would be weird.
âSteve?â He swallowed and smiled nervously at her before adopting a more confident tone.
âWow. You look amazing.â
#
When they had finished what they needed to do, Nancy awkwardly excused herself, saying she had to leave. Steve, who was getting dressed to join Eddie, nodded.
âIâll walk you downstairs.â
They both thought they'd find Barb and Eddie. Barb was supposed to be bringing Nancy back, after all, and Eddie wouldn't have just left like that, would he?
But there was no one downstairs. Out of chivalry, and to have a good excuse for being in the car at that hour, Steve offered to drive Nancy home. Once he'd dropped her off a few meters from her house, he headed over to Eddie's.
But his van wasn't there.
He looked out his bedroom window anyway, but no one was there.
Steve spent the rest of the night going around to all the places Eddie frequented, but in vain.
He finally reassured himself by thinking that Eddie must have taken refuge at a friend's house and that he'd see him tomorrow at school.
But Eddie had disappeared.
Hawkins was cursed.
Monsters were coming out of the woods to kill.
#
After Will Byers' return, the government made it clear to everyone involved that they would have to They had to keep quiet if they didn't want anyone to take care of them.
The superheroine had said she'd seen Barb and Eddie's corpses in that otherworldly realm, but as far as the rest of the world was concerned, Barb and Eddie had simply run away one day and were continuing their lives far from Hawkins.
It was difficult for Nancy and Steve to process, as they felt responsible for what had happened to them.
Their shared guilt had brought them closer, but instead of finding support, they felt that after the price they'd paid, they owed it to themselves to be together.
They took turns visiting Barb's parents and Eddie's uncle to try to ease their pain, but it only fueled their rage. Nancy wanted to tell Barb's parents everything when they mentioned selling their house.
Steve was against it. The government hadn't cared about the people who died because of them the previous year; they wouldn't care about them now. kill them and their loved ones.
Eddie had shared with him the admiration and affection he felt for his uncle, and Steve refused to do anything that could put him in danger.
Their conflict erupted at the Halloween party.
Nancy was completely drunk and unleashed her fury on him.
Although Steve initially tried to calm her down, all his hatred imploded in turn.
âOf course itâs bullshit! What do you think? That I wanted to sleep with you? I only did it because I didnât want to be called a faggot!â
He wanted to grab her and shake her with all his might.
âI hate you. You have no idea how much I hate you. You should never have come. You should never have brought Barb. That idiot shouldn't have cut herself. I wish it had been you instead of him.â
Steve lost his composure at the end of his tirade and leaned against the wall. Nancy glared at him with fierce hatred, and although she stumbled over her words, she managed to make herself perfectly clear.
âI hate you too. I loathe you. I should have listened to Barb. If we hadn't gone to your place, you were the only one the creature could have taken!â
âWe can finally agree on one thing,â Steve said after a moment of silence, âit would have been better if it had been us instead of them.â With that, he left the bathroom and the party.
When Dustin later came to him to offer his help, Steve considered refusing. But Eddie always took care of outcasts and the destitute. He felt he had to act in his memory.
#
âOnce,â he finally replied.
âWho? Nancy Wheeler? Sheâs so uptight.â
âActually, no. We did go out, for about a year, but⌠We didnât like each other, we even ended up hating each other. It was⌠It was pretty awful, actuallyâŚâ
âSo who managed to charm Steve Harrington?â
âEddie Munson.â
âEddie Munson? But Eddie Munson is a boyâŚâ
âYep⌠And heâs the only person Iâve ever loved, and I messed everything up.â He wished he could go back to that night and have the courage to kiss Eddie.
But he had made his choices and now had to live with the consequences.
InspirĂŠ par ce post; j'ai dĂŠcidĂŠ d'ĂŠcrire la version la plus triste possible. Vous ĂŞtes prĂŠvenu
Aussi en anglais
âEst-ce que tu es dĂŠjĂ tombĂŠ amoureux?â
Steve sâappuie contre le mur Ă cĂ´tĂŠ des toilettes. Il laisse la voix de Robin rouler et ferme les yeux.
Cette question le plonge dans des souvenirs qui ne lâont jamais quittĂŠ.
# # #
Nous sommes en 1983. Steve nâa pas de problème dans sa vie si ce nâest les dĂŠboires de lycĂŠens de son âge qui apparaissent comme ĂŠtant la fin du monde.
Son problème du jour : Nancy Wheeler.
Il la trouve diffĂŠrente des autres filles. Dâun prime abord coincĂŠe, elle laisse entrevoir une force et un souci des autres qui lâattirent.
Elle ne se soucie pas des autres de la mĂŞme manière que lui. Ăvidemment que lâopinion des gens autour dâelle peut la blesser mais elle se soucie surtout de leur bien ĂŞtre.
Elle a toujours une pensĂŠe aimable pour une personne qui semble en difficultĂŠ.
Elle semble attirer par lui, elle lui a envoyĂŠ quelques signaux mais nâest pas aussi directe que les autres filles quâil a pu frĂŠquenter. Il faut quâil mĂŠrite son attention et quâil lui prouve quâil en est digne.
Et Ă chaque fois quâil y arrive cela booste son ĂŠgo dâune manière quelque peu addictive.
Ce jour-lĂ , il veut pousser sa chance en lui proposant un rendez-vous dans les toilettes. Assez cachĂŠ pour quâil puisse lâembrasser comme il lui plaira mais assez publique pour quâelle sache quâil allait bien se tenir.
Parfait.
Il est Ă cĂ´tĂŠ des casiers, le mot en main, il a juste Ă le glisser dans la fente et allait lâattendre. Soudainement, un ballon de basket lui arrive en plein visage.
âRĂŠflexe ! Crie en mĂŞme temps Brian en riant
-Tâes con. Le rabroue Steve en lui lançant le ballon juste après avoir mis le papier dans la fente
-Quâest-ce que tu fais?
-Occupes-toi de tes miches !â
Brian continue Ă le charrier un instant puis finit par le laisser tranquille.
Steve le maudit de lâavoir dĂŠcoiffĂŠ alors quâil devait voir Nancy. Personne nâĂŠtait au courant, mais ses cheveux nĂŠcessitent beaucoup dâentretien pour obtenir ce rĂŠsultat.
Il tremble dâimpatience en se rendant dans les toilettes, il est sĂťr que Nancy a dĂť voir son mot et sây rendre. Dans quelques instants il pourra la prendre dans ses bras, lâembrasser et lui proposer un rendez-vous !
Il est compliquĂŠ alors de dĂŠcrire sa dĂŠception quand il tombe nez Ă nez avec Eddie âLe TarĂŠâ Munson.
âQuâest-ce quâil fait lĂ ?â Pense-t-il
Il s'apprĂŞte Ă lui poser la question quand Eddie lui dit :
âBon tu te dĂŠcides Harrington? Je nâai pas toute la journĂŠe.
-Quoi?
-Ce mot. Il est bien de toi?â Ajoute-t-il en lui montrant la note quâil avait griffonnĂŠ et qui aurait dĂť ĂŞtre remis Ă Nancy
Est-ce quâelle a dĂŠcidĂŠ de lui faire une blague en donnant le mot Ă Eddie?
Cela ressemblerait bien Ă Tommy ou Carole, mais pas Ă Nancy.
Quâest-ce qui avait bien pu se passer?
âTon casier câest le numĂŠro combien dĂŠjĂ ?â Demande Steve en se prĂŠparant dĂŠjĂ Ă la rĂŠponse
Eddie lui rĂŠpondit, les sourcils froncĂŠs, visiblement perplexe de la situation. Steve soupira en se frottant les mains au visage, le casier dâEddie ĂŠtait juste Ă cĂ´tĂŠ de Nancy.
Quand Brian lui avait lancĂŠ le ballon, il sâĂŠtait dĂŠcalĂŠ et nâavait pas revĂŠrifier le casier avant de mettre le mot dedans.
Quelle honte !
Il nâen revenait pas dâavoir mis au mot dans le casier Du TarĂŠ. Est-ce que Brian lâavait vu? Quâest-ce quâil allait bien pouvoir dire aux autres?
La situation est plus que embarrassante.
Il avait par mĂŠgarde proposĂŠ Ă Eddie Munson un rendez-vous dans les toilettes pour se peloter !?
Il ne pourrait jamais sâen remettre !
Et que faisait Munson lĂ dâailleurs?
Il a envie quâils sâembrassent? Steve aurait pourtant cru ne pas ĂŞtre son genre.
Non pas parce quâil ĂŠtait sportif, malgrĂŠ tous ses discours, Eddie ĂŠtait toujours très agrĂŠable avec les pompom girls. Mais Ă cause de son service trois pièces.
Il y avait beaucoup de rumeurs sur Eddie, mais Steve nây avait pas cru.
Après tout, il suffisait de refuser de sortir avec une fille juste parce quâon la trouvait laide ou ennuyeuse pour se faire traiter de pĂŠdĂŠ.
Ce serait vrai alors.
Steve le regarde entre ses doigts avec un intĂŠrĂŞt nouveau.
Est-ce quâil ĂŠtait vraiment le type dâEddie ou est-ce quâil voulait s'entraĂŽner en attendant dâavoir une petite amie, comme Steve et Tommy lâavaient dĂŠjĂ fait?
Est-ce quâil devrait aller jusquâau bout?
Pour une raison quâil ne sâexplique pas, Steve ne parvient pas Ă se convaincre quâil devrait tout simplement admettre Ă Eddie quâil a reçu le mot par erreur.
Eddie ĂŠtait connu pour ĂŞtre explosif. Et si il se vexait et voulait en dĂŠcoudre ou bien faire courir des rumeurs affreuses sur Steve.
Ou pire encore, si les rumeurs sur lâhomosexualitĂŠ dâEddie ĂŠtait confirmĂŠ, est-ce que celle sur ses pratiques sataniques lâĂŠtaient aussi?
Non pas que Steve soit particulièrement croyant mais cela lâinquiĂŠte tout de mĂŞme un petit peu.
Lâexpression farouche dâEddie se fit plus douce suite Ă son long, trop long, silence. Eddie sâavachit contre le mur dâun des cabinets, les bras lâchĂŠs contre son corps dĂŠtendu.
âEcoute si ça te tente plus, ce nâest pas grave. Dit-il dâune voix rassurante. Tâas le droit de te dĂŠgonfler, tu sais?
-Je ne suis pas un lâche !â Sâoffusque Steve rouge de gĂŞne et de fiertĂŠ mal placĂŠe
Un baiser, ce n'Êtait rien. Steve avait dÊjà embrassÊ plusieurs personnes, dont des garçons pour s'entraÎner ou pour des paris stupides. Un baiser de plus ou de moins, cela ne changerait pas grand chose.
Il sâapproche dâun grand pas dâEddie, encadre son visage avec ses deux mains et le pousse un peu plus dans le cabinet pour quâils soient cachĂŠs.
âQuâŚ?â Commence Eddie mais se coupe en sursautant lorsque Steve ferme la porte avec un coup de pied
Vite fait, bien fait.
Surtout bien fait. Steve a une rĂŠputation et il ne veut pas quâelle en prenne un coup parce quâil avait bâclĂŠ le travail.
Il pose avec prĂŠcaution ses lèvres sur celles dâEddie. MĂŞme si tout son corps le bloque, il y va doucement pour le baiser.
La contradiction a dĂŠjĂ rendu certaines filles un peu folle.
Il caresse tendrement les pommettes dâEddie tout en continuant le baiser. Il rĂŠalise quâil a vraiment lâodeur de la cigarette et de la transpiration sur lui. Il aurait pu mâcher rapidement un chewing-gum comme lui quand mĂŞme !
Au bout de quelques secondes, Eddie est encore immobile. Ses bras sont toujours le long de son corps, il ne bouge mĂŞme pas les lèvres ou la tĂŞte. Steve est presque sĂťr quâil a mĂŞme encore les yeux ouverts.
Quel tarĂŠ !
âIl devait vouloir s'entraĂŽner. Songe Steve face au manque apparent de talent dâEddie. SĂťrement pas Tommy mais peut-ĂŞtre quelquâun du groupe de natation, peut-ĂŞtre Harvey, avait dit Ă Eddie quâil pourrait lâaider. Comment Harvey et Eddie en ĂŠtaient arrivĂŠs Ă parler de leur entraĂŽnement au baiser, je ne veux pas le savoir.â
Comme Eddie restait une statue de marbre, Steve commence Ă reculer, afin de parler et lui prodiguer des conseils.
Cela provoque un ĂŠlectrochoc Ă Eddie. Ses bras enserrèrent la taille de Steve l'empĂŞchant de prendre ses distances. Il fait glisser une de ses mains le long de son dos pour quâelle sâancre sur sa nuque et quâils reprennent le baiser.
âEnfin !â
Finalement Eddie semble savoir ce quâil fait. Il devait avoir plus besoin de se rassurer que de s'entraĂŽner Ă la technique.
Il ouvre discrètement un de ses yeux pour jeter un coup d'Ĺil Ă sa montre, pour ne pas rater la sonnerie, mais contre toute attente il se laisse distraire quand Eddie dĂŠcide dâapprofondir leur baiser et dây mĂŞler leur langue.
Oh.
Il sait vraiment ce quâil fait.
Steve ne sait plus depuis combien de temps il nâavait pas ĂŠtĂŠ agrĂŠablement surpris par un baiser.
Ses mains quittèrent le visage dâEddie.
Curieux, il fait glisser lâune dâelle vers un de ses tĂŠtons cachĂŠs sous ses vĂŞtements. Il veut vĂŠrifier la rumeur disant que Eddie est percĂŠ.
Il est un peu dÊçu de ne rien sentir.
âNavrĂŠ de te dĂŠcevoir, mais jâai pas de seins que tu peux tripoter. Crache Eddie hargneux
-Ăa ne me dĂŠrange pas.â
Cela lâĂŠtonne que ce soit vrai.
Il met une de ses mains dans les cheveux dâEddie et lâautre sur ses hanches et reprend le baiser avant que Eddie puisse avoir quoi que ce soit Ă ajouter.
En reprĂŠsailles, Eddie pose une de ses mains sur les fesses de Steve pour les pincer.
Surpris, il pousse un petit cris et Eddie lui lance un regard noir lui intimant dâoser lui dire quoi que ce soit.
En riposte, Steve lui mord les lèvres en lui tirant les cheveux et à partir de là , ils perdirent complètement le contrôle de la situation et du temps qui passe.
Câest tout juste si ils nâallaient pas sâarracher leur tee shirt quand la dernière sonnerie se fit entendre.
Ils sursautèrent et se regardèrent interdit, incapable de savoir ce quâils sont sensĂŠs faire maintenant.
âFaut ⌠Faut que jây aille. Finit par dire Steve après sâĂŞtre obligĂŠ Ă prendre ses distances. Mon père mâarrache la tĂŞte si je manque trop de cours.
-Oui ⌠Oui bien sĂťr ⌠Moi aussi faut que jây aille.
-Ouais donc je vais âŚ
-Ouais je âŚâ
Steve ramasse rapidement son sac quâil avait laissĂŠ tomber par terre avant dâouvrir la porte pour filer.
Il est dans le couloir quand Eddie le retint au dernier moment et lui dit :
âJe suis au table de pique nique derrière le lycĂŠe après les cours, si ⌠si tu veux âŚ
-Ouais ⌠Ok ⌠Oui je ⌠Faut que jây aille.â Balbutie Steve
Eddie le lâche brusquement comme si il avait ĂŠtĂŠ brĂťlĂŠ, levant ses mains comme pour prouver Ă Steve quâil nâĂŠtait pas armĂŠ.
Leur silence gĂŞnĂŠ fut interrompu par un surveillant qui leur crie de se rendre Ă leur cours.
# # #
à partir de ce jour, Steve et Eddie continuèrent de se voir.
Au dĂŠbut l'intĂŠrĂŞt de Steve, et sĂťrement dâEddie, ĂŠtait purement physique, mais en se cherchant des excuses pour se voir, ils finirent par apprendre Ă se connaĂŽtre.
Ils nâavaient pas beaucoup de centres d'intĂŠrĂŞt commun.
Eddie est fier de dĂŠtester le sport et de ne pas y exceller quant Ă Steve il ne se connait pas trop en musique, il sait juste si il aime ou non.
Mais ils avaient un peu le même humour moqueur, une capacitÊ à Êcouter des sujets qui ne les passionnent pas et ressentent le poids du regard des autres et des attentes à leur Êgard même si ils y rÊagissent de manière diamÊtralement opposÊe.
Steve aime ĂŠgalement parler avec lui de ses problèmes de cĹur. Eddie est aussi romantique que Tommy, mais contrairement Ă ce dernier, ses conseils ne se limitent pas Ă juste âla sauter ou passer Ă la prochaineâ. Mais il avait beaucoup dâimagination et souvent ses plans de sĂŠduction avaient au moins le mĂŠrite dâĂŞtre drĂ´les.
Parfois Steve pense que Eddie lui propose sciemment de mauvaises idĂŠes pour quâil se ridiculise devant Nancy. Mais bizarrement il ne le sent pas mesquin comme Tommy et ne lui en tient que très rarement rigueur.
Steve est Ă son casier et il discute avec Tommy et Carole. Ses parents allaient partir en voyage et ils rĂŠflĂŠchissent Ă faire une soirĂŠe en leur absence. Carole remarquait que câest lĂ une bonne occasion de faire avancer les choses avec Nancy.
Il sent dâun coup quelque chose se presser contre son dos.
âCeci est un braquage, reste calme trĂŠsor et tout ira bien.â
Steve pouffe de rire et se retourne pour faire face Ă Eddie.
âSalut Ed.
-HĂŠ Stevie.
-TarĂŠ.â Tousse Tommy en cherchant Ă provoquer un rire
Mais même Carole prÊfère ne pas lui faire plaisir afin de ne pas contrarier Steve.
âSois pas un connard. Dit Steve puis reporte son attention sur Eddie. Je serais toi, je serais un peu plus aimable.
-Tu as la marchandise?â Sourit Eddie
Steve ouvre Ă nouveau son casier pour y prendre un livre. Eddie tente de le prendre dès quâil le vit, mais Steve le mit hors de sa portĂŠe en lui disant :
âJâai rĂŠussi Ă convaincre ma cousine de me le prĂŞter. Ma tĂŞte est sur le billot alors tu as intĂŠrĂŞt Ă faire attention.
-Jây ferai très attention. Promit Eddie. Quâest-ce qui peut bien te faire douter?
-Jâai vu ta chambre. Plus dâune fois.â Lui rappelle Steve
De tout Êvidence, embarrassÊ que son côtÊ dÊsordonnÊ soit rappelÊ à tous, Eddie rougit et mit une mèche de cheveux devant son visage.
âTu peux me confier ta vie lâesprit tranquille, jâen prendrais grand soin.â
Steve sourit et lui donna le livre âTitus Groanâ. Tommy fronce les sourcils et lui demande :
âAttends la cousine qui tâa filĂŠ le livre, câest Beth?
-Et alors?
-Câest une connasse ! Ă chaque fois que tu lui demandes un service, elle veut un truc dĂŠbile en ĂŠchange !
-Traites pas Beth de connasse.
-Tâes sĂťr que je peux le prendre.
-Oui, oui. LâĂŠcoute pas. Câest juste quâune fois il lui a demandĂŠ un verre dâeau et elle a acceptĂŠ de le servir uniquement si il faisait un cancan.â Explique Steve en mimant la danse
Tommy sâoffusque tandis que Carole et Eddie rigolent de la petite danse de Steve.
Mais le ton change brusquement quand Steve voit Nancy et se prĂŠcipite pour aller la voir pour lâinviter chez lui.
Comme elle hÊsite, regardant Barb, Steve attrape Eddie qui Êtait restÊ près de lui.
âEddie sera lĂ aussi. Comme ça on sera un nombre pair.â
Tout le monde le regarda comme si il ĂŠtait cinglĂŠ. En mĂŞme temps, personne dans leur petit groupe ne devait penser que Barb et Eddie avaient des atomes crochus.
âJe serais lĂ ? Câest nouveau ça.
-Tu as quelque chose de mieux Ă faire que traĂŽner avec nous un mardi soir?
-Mon carnet de bal est plein Ă craquer, trĂŠsor.
-Il plaisante, il sera lĂ .â Insiste Steve
Eddie brandit son majeur puis sâincline devant Nancy et Barb avant de partir.
# # #
Le soir, Tommy et Carole se rendirent chez Steve assez tĂ´t pour prĂŠparer la soirĂŠe.
âTu crois vraiment quâelles vont venir? Demande Tommy. Franchement elles ont lâair trop coincĂŠ.
-Câest vrai quâon aurait cru quâon leur proposait une orgie ou je ne sais pas trop quoi. Carole roule des yeux
-Elles vont venir. Dit Steve surtout pour se rassurer mais honnĂŞtement il se surprit plus dâune fois Ă surveiller la porte espĂŠrant voir Eddie
-Et Eddie, tu penses quâil va venir?â
Steve hausse les ĂŠpaules.
âCe serait bien quâil vienne.â
Face au regard surpris de Steve et de Carole, il explique :
âJe serais pas contre un joint.â
La sonnerie dâentrĂŠe retentit, Steve trotta jusquâĂ la porte dâentrĂŠe avant de se forcer Ă prendre un air cool avant dâouvrir.
Il ressent une profonde et une surprenante dĂŠception en voyant Nancy.
Il ne se comprenait pas. CâĂŠtait Nancy quâil voulait voir. CâĂŠtait principalement pour passer du temps avec elle cette fĂŞte.
Pourquoi est-ce que câest Eddie quâil espĂŠrait voir en ouvrant ?
Il se rattrape très vite et accueille Nancy et Barb avec un sourire.
La soirĂŠe avançait bien, Nancy sâĂŠtait dĂŠcoincĂŠ en avalant une bière cul sec et Barb avait voulu essayĂŠ mais câĂŠtait coupĂŠ la main quand Eddie arriva.
âQuâest-ce que jâai loupĂŠ? Demande-t-il en voyant lâagitation autour dâelle
-Câest rien ! Sâexclame Barb. OĂš est la salle de bain?â
Steve lui indique rapidement le chemin, puis voyant le regard dĂŠsapprobateur dâEddie se met sur la dĂŠfensive.
âQuoi?
-Câest pas parce que tu veux sauter sa copine que tu dois te comporter comme un connard.
-Oh ! Chantèrent Tommy et Carole qui sâamusaient toujours quand il y avait de lâeau dans le gaz
-Ăa a rien Ă voir ! Tâas bien vu elle voulait quâon la laisse tranquille !â
Nancy rouge de honte ne sait plus ce quâelle est censĂŠe faire et regarde les deux garçons les larmes dâembarras lui montant aux yeux.
Eddie nâessaya mĂŞme pas de rĂŠpondre Ă Steve et rejoint Barb pour lâaider et sâassurer que la coupure est superficielle.
Tommy parvint Ă allĂŠger lâatmosphère en poussant Carole dans lâeau puis en sây jetant Ă son tour. Rapidement, Steve lâimite en poussant Nancy et en allant nager avec eux.
Il ne comprend pas pourquoi Eddie sâen est pris Ă lui directement Ă peine arrivĂŠ, en retard. Steve nâa pas forcĂŠ Barb Ă les imiter ni nâa envie quâelle se blesse. Ce nâest pas parce quâil nâa pas dâatome crochu avec elle qui lui veut du mal.
Si Eddie prĂŠfère jouer Monsieur Père La Morale plutĂ´t que de profiter dâune chouette soirĂŠe avec Steve, tant pis pour lui.
MalgrĂŠ tout, il ne cesse dâenvoyer des coups d'Ĺil vers la maison en espĂŠrant le revoir apparaĂŽtre.
Finalement, ils quittèrent tous les quatre la piscine, trempĂŠs jusquâaux os, sans ĂŞtre rejoints par Barb ni par Eddie.
Tommy et Carole firent une blague sur le fait quâils devaient finalement bien sâentendre avant de dĂŠcider de sâapproprier la chambre de la mère de Steve.
Cette idĂŠe lui provoqua un mal ĂŞtre quâil ne comprend pas.
Il avait besoin de les retrouver et de savoir pourquoi ils ne les avaient pas rejoint.
âJe vais voir ce quâils font. Si tu veux, tu peux prendre des vĂŞtements dans ma chambre pour te changer.â Dit-il en lui indiquant comment se rendre Ă sa chambre
Nancy rougit à nouveau et commença à monter les marches quand Barb et Eddie apparurent.
âNancy. Lâappelle-t-elle. Quâest-ce que tu fais?
-Mes vĂŞtements sont trempes, je vais me changer dans la chambre de Steve.â
Sa rĂŠponse fait rire Eddie qui regardait encore Steve avec dĂŠsapprobation.
âQuoi?
-Tâas vraiment une sale tronche. Tes cheveux ne ressemblent plus Ă rien. Câest pourtant ton seul avantage.
-Va te faire foutre ! Quâest-ce que tâa Ă faire ton connard?
-Jâai touchĂŠ la corde sensible. DĂŠtends toi Harrington. Je plaisantais.
-Mon cul, oui. Tâarrives Ă la bourre, tu cherches Ă ce quâon sâembrouille ⌠Quâest-ce qui cloche chez toi?
-Jâen reviens pas que je mâimpose ça. MaugrĂŠa Eddie avant de tourner les talons pour sortir dans le jardin pour sâallumer une cigarette
-Je reviens.â Dit-il aux filles avant de poursuivre Eddie
Mais elles ne lâĂŠcoutent pas, ĂŠtant elles aussi en train de se disputer.
Eddie faisait les cent pas sur la terrasse en tirant sa cigarette quand Steve le rejoint.
âQuâest-ce qui se passe?
-Je suis stupide. Marmonne Eddie
-Eddie âŚâ
Il sâapproche de lui et parvient Ă lui faire cesser sa marche incessante en lui empoignant le bras au niveau du coude.
Il doit lui dire quelque chose, nâimporte quoi. Il ne supporte pas cette tension entre eux.
Quand Eddie finit par lui faire face et par le regarder vraiment, Steve sentit son coeur battre la chamade et ses genoux faiblir.
Le regard intense dâEddie lâemprisonne, il nâa pas dâautre choix que de succomber Ă ses lèvres.
Sans y rĂŠflĂŠchir, mĂť par un rĂŠflexe quâil ne voulait pas admettre possĂŠder, Steve posa ses mains sur les joues dâEddie et voulut lâembrasser.
Mais il ne put pas sentir ses lèvres sur les siennes car Eddie avait fermement posÊ une de ses mains sur la poitrine de Steve et le maintenait à distance.
âSteve, quâest-ce que tu fais?â
De cette simple phrase, Steve ressentit toute la passion dâEddie le quitter pour ĂŞtre remplacĂŠ par une lassitude qui ne lui ressemble pas.
âQuoi?
-Ăa lĂ . Entre toi et moi.
-Oui et alors?
-Et alors? Tu veux mâembrasser juste avant dâaller coucher avec Nancy. Quâest-ce que tu fais, Steve? Quâest-ce que tu veux Ă la fin?
-Câest rien. On ne fait que sâembrasser, ça veut rien dire ça.
-Ăa veut dire quelque chose pour moi. Je ne peux pas continuer comme ça.â
Steve nâaime pas oĂš va la conversation et essaye de dĂŠtourner le sujet en voulant attirer Eddie Ă lui. Mais Eddie garde ses pieds fermement ancrĂŠs dans le sol et son bras tendu.
âAlors maintenant tu as le choix. Soit tu mâembrasses et tu restes avec moi. Soit tu vas retrouver Nancy, et ça lĂ , entre toi et moi, câest fini.â
Steve a lâimpression que tout son sang se glace soudainement Ă ces mots.
Comment ça fini? Ils ne pourraient plus être amis?
Non. Il voulait rester lâami dâEddie.
Mais lâautre option ⌠ce nâĂŠtait pas possible et pour une bonne raison.
âJe suis pas pĂŠdĂŠ, Eddie. Il est hors de question quâon sorte ensemble ou je sais pas quoi.â
Si il y avait eu de lâespoir dans le cĹur dâEddie, Steve venait dâĂŠteindre irrĂŠmĂŠdiablement les flammes.
Les beaux yeux foncĂŠs dâEddie s'embuèrent de larmes et sâemplirent de dĂŠception et de rĂŠsignation.
âSi tu lâes. Crache Eddie. Tâas juste pas le cran de te lâavouer.
Steve s'apprĂŞte Ă lui rĂŠpondre quelque chose mĂŞme si il ne savait pas quoi quand Barb les rejoint sur la terrasse.
âNancy veut que tu saches quâelle tâattend dans ta chambre pour savoir quels vĂŞtements elle peut tâemprunter.â Crache-t-elle la voix enrouĂŠe et les yeux rouges
Aucun des trois nâĂŠtait dupe sur ce qui allait se passer.
Nancy avait fait son choix. CâĂŠtait au tour de Steve.
âJe ⌠Jâarrive. Lui dit-elle avant de se retourner vers Eddie. Je reviens.â
Eddie pince les lèvres et ferme les yeux laissant couler des larmes sur ses joues. Il secoue la tête. Et quand Steve fit à pas en arrière, il eut le souffle coupÊ.
Steve ne supportait pas de le voir dans cet ĂŠtat. Il voulait lâenlacer, lâembrasser, le faire sourire. Il avait de se mettre Ă genoux Ă ses pieds, lui implorer son pardon.
Mais il nâĂŠtait pas pĂŠdĂŠ.
Eddie devait bien en avoir conscience.
Steve ĂŠtait attirĂŠ par les filles, il ĂŠtait attirĂŠ par Nancy.
Il devait sauver son amitiĂŠ avec Eddie, mais il ne pouvait pas se permettre de perdre sa rĂŠputation.
âJuste, restes lĂ , je nâen ai pas pour longtemps. Je reviens et on pourra continuer dâen discuter.â
Eddie continua de secouer la tĂŞte mais ne bougea pas tandis que Steve lui rĂŠpĂŠtait de rester alors que câĂŠtait lui qui sâen allait.
Câest la dernière fois quâil vit Eddie.
# # #
Quand il rejoignit Nancy, il espĂŠra presque que rien ne se passerait. Il lui propose des vĂŞtements et se retourne pour quâelle se change.
Il cherchait Ă jeter un coup d'Ĺil par sa fenĂŞtre, mais il nâarrivait pas Ă voir lâextĂŠrieur car il ĂŠtait trop loin.
âSteve.â
Il la regarde un peu perdu. Nancy ĂŠtait dĂŠbout face Ă lui, son soutien gorge Ă lâair et son regard dĂŠterminĂŠ bien quâun peu effrayĂŠ.
Câest le moment quâil attendait. Elle cĂŠdait enfin Ă ses avances.
âJe ne veux pas.â
Cette pensĂŠe sâimpose Ă lui avec une telle force quâil en eut le vertige.
âNon. Je ne veux pas. Je ne veux pas ĂŞtre ici. Je dois retrouver Eddie.â
Il doit lui dire gentiment non. Peut-être utiliser le fait que Barb doit attendre après elle.
âSi tu lâes. Tu nâas juste pas le cran de te lâavouer.â
Les paroles dâEddie le clouèrent Ă nouveau sur place. Il mentait. CâĂŠtait faux.
Et personne ne devait croire que câĂŠtait ne serait-ce quâune possibilitĂŠ?
Et si en repoussant Nancy, elle se mettait Ă y croire. Et si elle allait le raconter Ă tout le monde.
Ou bien Tommy et Carole qui sont juste Ă cĂ´tĂŠ et qui le regardent bizarrement depuis son amitiĂŠ avec Eddie.
Un garçon correctement constituĂŠ nâa aucune raison de refuser. Ce serait bizarre.
âSteve?â
Il dĂŠglutit et nerveusement lui sourit avant de prendre un ton plus confiant.
âWaouh. Tâes magnifique.â
# # #
Quand ils eurent fini de faire ce quâils avaient Ă faire, Nancy sâexcusa maladroitement, disant quâelle devait partir. Steve, qui ĂŠtait en train de se rhabiller pour rejoindre Eddie, acquiesce.
âJe tâaccompagne en bas.â
Tous les deux pensèrent trouver Barb et Eddie.
Barb devait après tout ramener Nancy et Eddie ne serait pas parti comme ça, si?
Mais il nây avait personne en bas.
Par soucis de galanterie et pour avoir une bonne excuse dâĂŞtre en voiture Ă cette heure, Steve proposa de raccompagner Nancy. Une fois quâil lâeut dĂŠposĂŠ Ă quelques mètres de chez elle, il se dirigea chez Eddie.
Mais il nây avait pas son van.
Il regarda tout de mĂŞme par la fenĂŞtre de sa chambre, mais personne.
Steve passa le reste de la nuit Ă faire le tour des endroits quâEddie frĂŠquentait en vain.
Il finit par se rassurer en se disant quâEddie avait dĂť trouver refuge chez un de ses amis et quâil le verrait demain au lycĂŠe.
Mais Eddie avait disparu.
Hawkins ĂŠtait maudite.
Des monstres sortaient des bois pour tuer.
# # #
Après le retour de Will Byers, le gouvernement fit comprendre Ă toutes les personnes impliquĂŠes quâils allaient devoir tenir leur langue si ils ne souhaitaient pas quâon sâoccupe dâeux.
La super hĂŠroĂŻne avait dit avoir vu le cadavre de Barb et dâEddie dans cette espèce dâautre monde, mais pour le reste du monde, Barb et Eddie avaient simplement fuguĂŠ un jour et continuaient leur vie loin dâHawkins.
Câest compliquĂŠ Ă gĂŠrer pour Nancy et Steve qui se sentent responsables de ce qui leur ĂŠtaient arrivĂŠs.
Leur culpabilitĂŠ respective les avait rapprochĂŠs, mais au lieu dây trouver du soutien, ils avaient lâimpression quâaprès le prix quâils avaient payĂŠ, ils se devaient dâĂŞtre ensemble.
Ils rendaient tour Ă tour visite aux parents de Barb et Ă lâoncle dâEddie pour essayer d'allĂŠger leur peine mais cela ne fit qu'allimenter leur rage.
Nancy voulait tout dire aux parents de Barb quand ses derniers parlèrent de vendre leur maison.
Steve ĂŠtait contre.
Le gouvernement ne sâĂŠtait pas souciĂŠ des personnes mortes par leur faute lâannĂŠe prĂŠcĂŠdente, il ne se soucierait pas de les tuer, eux et leurs proches.
Eddie avait partagĂŠ avec lui, lâadmiration et lâaffection quâil avait pour son oncle, et Steve refusa de faire quoi que ce soit qui aurait pu le mettre en danger.
Leur conflit explosa Ă la fĂŞte dâHalloween.
Nancy Êtait complètement saoul et se lâcha sur lui.
Si Steve avait dâabord essayĂŠ de la calmer, toute sa haine implosa Ă son tour.
âBien sĂťr que câest de la merde ! Tu crois quoi? Que jâavais envie de coucher avec toi? Je lâai fait juste parce que je voulais pas me faire traiter de pĂŠdĂŠ !â
Il avait envie de la prendre et de la secouer de toutes ses forces.
âJe te dĂŠteste. Tâas pas idĂŠe Ă quel point je te hais. Tâaurais jamais dĂť venir. Tâaurais jamais dĂť amener Barb. Cette idiote nâaurait pas dĂť se couper. Jâaurais prĂŠfĂŠrĂŠ que ce soit toi plutĂ´t que lui.â
Steve se dĂŠgonfle Ă la fin de sa tirade et sâappuie contre le mur.
Nancy le toisa avec une haine farouche et bien que butant sur ses mots elle parvint Ă se faire clairement comprendre.
âJe te dĂŠteste aussi. Je te hais. Jâaurais dĂť ĂŠcouter Barb. Si on ne serait pas aller chez toi, il a que toi que la crĂŠature aurait pu prendre !
-On peut enfin ĂŞtre dâaccord sur un point, dit Steve après un moment de silence, il aurait mieux valu que ce soit nous plutĂ´t quâeux.â
Sur ces mots il quitte la salle de bain et la soirĂŠe.
Quand plus tard Dustin vint le trouver pour lui proposer son aide, Steve pensa Ă refuser.
Mais Eddie prenait toujours soin des parias et des dĂŠmunis. Il se devait bien dâagir en sa mĂŠmoire.
# # #
âUne fois. Finit-il par lui rĂŠpondre
-Qui ça ? Nancy Wheeler? Elle est tellement coincÊe.
-En fait non. On est bien sorti ensemble, environ un an mais ⌠On ne sâaimait pas, on a mĂŞme fini par se dĂŠtester. CâĂŠtait ⌠CâĂŠtait plutĂ´t horrible en fait âŚ
-Alors qui a bien rĂŠussi Ă charmer Steve Harrington?
-Eddie Munson.
-Eddie Munson? Mais Eddie Munson est un garçon âŚ
-Yep ⌠Et câest la seule personne que je nâai jamais aimĂŠ et jâai tout gâchĂŠ.â
Il aimerait tellement remonter Ă cette nuit et avoir le courage dâembrasser Eddie.
Mais il a fait ses choix et doit maintenant vivre avec les consĂŠquences.
At first I write this story behind this post by @strangersteddierthings but the ending was pretty abrupt because then I didn't know what to write more.
I reread it and now I write more of it.
You don't need to write the post in the link because the begining is the same.
For the title I didn't have much idea and I suddenly have the scene in B99 where Charles say "Bye Rosa ... No ! Not bi. Bye like good evening" so tadam !
Steve won't say he doesn't love sex, because he loves it.
But he doesn't love to feel used.
The first time it happened was with Tommy. They were friends since forever and in middle school, they became curious about sexuality.
At first it was mostly innocent but the more they were doing more they were comfortable with each other.
Steve realized quickly that he was bi. It was terrifying but he thought that he wasn't alone, that Tommy was like him.
He was kind of ashamed of how fast he fell for Tommy then, how he accepted losing his V-card before high school because Tommy didn't want to be a virgin at the start of the new school year.
But the memory that always makes him cringe is the one where Carol and Tommy arrived together at school and kissed in front of him. He has given a blow job to Tommy the night just before.
"What the hell dude?! Steve yells at Tommy once they were alone
-What? Jealous I have a girlfriend first? Tommy show off
-We were together last night âŚ
-Yeah, thanks for that. It helped calm my nerves to ask Carol."
Steve heard the word but cannot comprehend what's happening.
"What? Tommy asks because Steve was silent for too long. You didn't believe we were ⌠you know ⌠it was just training before we had a girlfriend. I am not ⌠Are you?"
Steve's blood froze in his vein.
He is really alone.
"Of course not. He lied trying to act more relaxed. You didn't tell me you will ask Carol out. I thought I was your best friend. That's all.
-But you are my best friend!"
Tommy seems to accept Steve's explanation easily and tells him all about his new relationship with Carol.
After that, Steve deals with his broken heart and after a while only sees Tommy as some kind of friend despite not liking him very much.
If Steve accepted Carol easily, Tommy was restless with any girl Steve went out with. Many admit breaking up with him because of Tommy.
Steve was mad each time, but "bro before hoe" so he shut up.
But it was pretty obvious how possessive Tommy was with him, and despite being with Carol how he still desires Steve.
Everytime it was just the two of them and they were drunk, Tommy made a move.Â
Their relationship was hell and Steve never wanted anything like that.
Lesson learned. Never "date" a straight boy, especially one who is supposed to be his friend.
Nancy saves him in many ways and he can't be grateful enough.
He is also grateful for Robin. She must be the first friend with whom he feels one hundred percent free to talk about anything.
He didn't even try to hide his bisexuality to her, and they talk about their crush without filter.
Even his stupid crush on Eddie was known by her.
"Maybe you should take your chance with him." She tells him one day
Steve looks at her like a second head appears in her shoulder. Since Vicky reciprocates her feelings, Robin is becoming really optimistic.
"You really think that Eddie likes men? Steve laugh
-Why not?
-Please, didn't you see how he acts with girls, especially the cheerleader? This man loves only one type of jock and it's not a basketball player. Steve snort
-I don't know âŚ"Â
Robin can't deny that Eddie is flirting with a type of girl at school but their interaction during the last crisis makes her doubt.
"He was really flirting with you more "big boy"."
Steve blushes while laughing.
"Don't know ⌠You and Nancy aren't really his type. And he was probably trying to make me uncomfortable."
After all, even if Steve didn't hide who he was anymore, he never felt the right moment to do his coming out before their movie night the night prior.
Customers coming to the shop make them stop their discussion.
One of them was Eddie.
When you speak of the devil âŚ
And damn, was Eddie looking sinful today.
His cut jeans were tight right where that mattered. He wears a flannel shirt open where a nice white tee shirt for a change was visible.
He even puts his hair on a low bun and styles his bangs.
Steve knows that nothing will happen with Eddie, but he is only human and he loves looking at what can't be his.
Eddie says a quick "Hi" before leaving them working, he walks in the aisle looking at any movie, waiting for the rest of the customers to leave.
Once things were calmer, he put his elbow on the counter and put a big smile on them.
"Hello there. How do my favorite fake twins separate at birth doing?"
Robin rolls her eyes amused while Steve snorts.
"Did you lose a movie, again?
-It's happened just once ! No my good sir. Watch your grimoire and he will tell you I am as truthful as a cute elf.
-My grimoire told me you're pretty high.
-Only because your eyes put me in the seventh sky, big boy." Eddie jokes
Eddie is joking right?
Robin doesn't think that with the glance she gives him.
"Yeah no. Pretty sure at least Marie Jane is in it. Steve insist
-Seriously, I am not high."
There is a seriousness in the bottomless brown eyes that make Steve's knees weak.
"Ok Bambi, Robin says, we believe you, right Steve?
-Right.
-So what are you here for? Movie or company?
-Company. Eddie admits. I was thinking we could go to the cinema and have dinner after work."
Eddie mostly watches Steve but glances at Robin.
Did he want to go on a date with Robin and hope that Steve will find an excuse to not go?
He hopes it's not that. He remembers the terror on Robin's eyes when she tells him she is lesbian as an answer to Steve's advances. She was afraid he may be violent with her, be disgusted by her. He never ever wants her to feel that way, especially because of a friend.
"Do not have my car. Steve admits. It is in the garage but if you don't mind being the taxi then it's good for me.
-Wait, Eddie is driving? Hell no. I am out !"
Steve looks at Eddie expecting to see disappointment but he was hiding it well.
"Just the two of us then. I will see you tonight.
-That's a date." Robin laughs while Steve tries to understand at what he just said yes.
Robin refuses to take Eddie offers to drop her off and says that she hopes that Steve draws his last wish.
"Don't worry Robin, I give you everything I own."
Steve wasn't sure what to expect. Eddie must be mad at him after all. But no, like always the two boys laugh easily and talk about everything.
Eddie lets Steve choose the movie since Eddie refuses letting him change the radio. Steve kind of thinks of choosing the worst rom com available but he wants to have a good time too.
Finally he chose an action movie. Eddie didn't even mock his choice. He even admits that it was a good movie when they were eating at the dinner.
It is the middle of the night when Eddie takes Steve back to his house.
"Well it was nice. Steve says
-Yeah. I have fun."
Steve smiled and opened his door.
"Good night and don't sleep in class tomorrow.
-I will totally do that." Eddie laughs and quits his car too
Steve raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything when Eddie walks close to him until they are in front of Steve's home door.
"I was thinking ⌠Eddie start
-Dangerous thing.
-We could continue the night at yours."
Before Steve can tell him that his parents are at home and that they can't get high, he feels Eddie's hand caress his wrist.
Oh.
Well Steve is not that stupid. He can be in denial when someone isn't interested in him, but he knows when someone is interested in him.
Of course Eddie wasn't mad Robin didn't come. He didn't want her to.
Steve feels his heart lose control.
He should be happy, right? He has a crush on Eddie and Eddie wants to pursue the night in his room.
Steve wants to throw up. It started like that with Tommy. And Eddie timing is weird too.
Seriously? Mister I Drool In Front Of Cheerleader is interested in Steve not even twenty four hours after he learns that Steve is bi.
Steve knows that Eddie is not popular, even more after Vecna. He must not be able to find a girlfriend, he thought bitterly.
"Is that because I am bi? Steve asks
-Yeah. Eddie answers easily like it is the evidence even if he looked embarrassed
-I see. Let me guess."
Steve feels his blood boil. He forces himself to relax against his door and caress Eddie's chest.
"Heterosexuality is so conformism and you're curious."
He can see that Eddie is troubled. Not really understanding what Steve is saying with a smile so cute.
"And I suppose that girls are too scared of big bad Eddie, making you suffer from blue balls."
Eddie scoffs but before he can defend himself, Steve continues :
"Well guess what? Be there, done that. Not interested. So go fuck yourself."
Steve slapped the door in his face without letting him say anything.
Eddie was lost.
They had such a lovely night. Eddie takes the risk because once he knows that Steve is indeed attracted to men, then his blushes and shutter must mean that Steve is attracted to Eddie, right?
So why does Steve act like Eddie is such an asshole?
What did he miss?
He can't leave like that.
He starts knocking and buzzing.
He feels like he needs to tell Steve now that he loves him or he may lose him forever.
Donald Harrington is suddenly awake. When he realize that it comes from the front door he grumbles :
"Steve, I swear if you forgot your key âŚ
-I am here."
Donald jumps when he hears his son, awake in his pj brushing his teeth.
"What the hell is going on?"
Steve goes to his bathroom for spit and shrug.
"My ⌠friend is just being an asshole.
-Well tell him to get out.
-No."
And just like that Steve slapped his door and turned the key.
Waouh ⌠this shit is as insupportable as his mother when he wants to.
Donald opens the front door suddenly and almost makes this teenager fall on his floor.
"Look at me son, I don't give a fuck about what's going on between my son and you but if you don't leave right now, I am calling the cops. Do you understand?"
Eddie keeps trying to see behind him, if Steve is behind his father but he didn't see him.
"Do you understand?
-Yes sir. Sorry to bother you." Eddie grumbles and leaves his head hanging low
Robin is in her locker the next day and jumps when Eddie appears from nowhere.
"Jeez dude ! Put a bell or something.
-I have chains on my jeans. Eddie says but he can't laugh. I need to talk to you, now, in my spot.
-You want me to go in a secluded area with you. What are the percent that I will have to hide your body?
-Eighty ⌠Ninety percent âŚ
-What did you do?
-Please. Can you put me in my pillory anywhere else?"
Robin grumbles and starts following him. Once sitting on the picnic table near school, Eddie nervously said :
"I am bi.
-Yeah kind of hoping you were."
Eddie raises his eyebrow.
"It was a date with Steve last night, right?
-It was. Eddie says then starts playing with his rings
-So? What did you do?
-I am not sure âŚ"
Eddie jumps and paces nervously.
"Everything was so good and perfect and once at his home I asked him to come inside âŚ
-Gross.
-Lady Buckley, please. And suddenly he slaps the door on my face !"
Eddie keeps walking and Robin's silence doesn't help him at all.
"Well? Do you have anything to say?
-I think you are pretty bold to ask about having sex with Steve in his house where his parents are.
-I didn't propose sex. Eddie defended himself. I just ⌠I wanted to hug him, well okay, maybe kissing him too somewhere a mob wouldn't try to kill me again.
-Did you tell him that?
-Didn't have the time."
Eddie then falls on the table whispering pathetic.
Robin take pity on him, explaining that Steve is sure that Eddie is straight.
"It was a date.
-You invite me too, dingus.
-Because I was nervous and was sure you would say no.
-Doesn't change that it was hanging out with friends more than a date that you proposed."
Then, without giving name she explains that Steve has been used by "friends" who wanted gaining experience in sex without that counting.
Eddie was scandalized but not that surprised. He saw how other men, such as Tommy, looked at Steve. Someone desirable but without love.
"What should I do now? I am really, hundred percent, interested romantically by Steve.
-Let him some time, she says and Eddie hates her for that, I will try talking to him. And when you will talk to him, tell him he is not an experience and that you know what your sexuality is.
-What if he still doesn't give me my chance? What if I waste my only chance?"
Robin shrugs, unable to promise him that everything would be alright. But she hopes so.
The next time Robin and Steve were doing the closing in Family Video, Robin used this time to talk to Steve about what happened with Eddie.
âSo ⌠Eddie comes to find me in school.â
Steve tensed immediately and glared at her.
âHe seemed pretty distraught.
-No shit.
-I am sure you misjudged him.
-Robin, the guy wanted to fuck me less than twenty four hour after I admited I am bi. He is not subtil.
-Maybe he wasnât interested fucking you.â Robin said and she canât believe she said this exact word to Steve âthe Hairâ Harrington
What her old self would have thought about that.
âI know that a lesbian you may not know that, but boys are always horny, ok? Everything is sex with them.
-You say that like girls donât get horny. She scoffs wanting to defend her gender. What? Do you think we donât like sex or masturbate?â
That seems to catch Steveâs attention who looks at her with curiosity.
âWhat do you mean masturbate? How do you ⌠?Â
-No ! Nope ! No, no, no. My fault. I donât want to talk about that with you.
-I mean, I understand how we do it. Steve said imitate a handjob before doing a weird move with his hand. But how do you �
-Stop ! I will have to kill you if we keep talking about that !â
Steve kept looking at her with curiosity but finally shrugged. He could maybe make her talk another time or find a date less prude.
âAnyway Eddie ! Robin continues despite Steve's protest. It seems to him that your hanging out last time was a date.â
Steve gives her an unimpressed look.
âI know ! I told him ! Believe me I am on your side. Just so you know, for him it was a date. It changes things, right?
-Look, I already had âdatesâ like that with Tommy, who ended exactly how Eddie wanted it to end. Once he will find a girlfriend willing to sleep with him, he will forget about me.
-Is it what you will do? Robin asks. If you date a boy, will it be just until you find a girlfriend?â
Steve was really hurt by the question. He was an asshole in high school, no doubt. But he matured and never wants to play with anyoneâs feelings.
He kind of understood what Robin wanted to say but still, he couldnât let himself get hurt like that again.
âIt is not the same.
-Why that?â
Because no one ever loves him as much as he loves them.
âJust drop it Robin.â
She fixes him for a very long time without a word. Steve was sure they will argue about that, but finally she sights and simply said :
âOk.â
They finished their shift. With Steveâs car at the shop again, his mother, Grace, came to pick them up at midnight.
She was scared to leave them alone at night without transportation after three kids died and Max almost died.
Steve looked forward to having his car back to ease her mind.
Eddie was going crazy. He feels that Robin takes forever to talk with Steve and finally for what?
âYou should drop it.â
That's what she said !
How could he just drop it ?! Even if they just stay friends, shouldnât they talk about it?
Things were so weird between them and the rest of the kids noticed it too. It makes their group of friends weird.
When he learns by Dustin that Steve went for a run every morning and where, he decides to confront him somewhere they will be alone, so at least he can apologize and be friends again.
He almost destroyed his alarm when it rang, he cursed himself for coming with this plan but got up and dressed up warmly.
He decided to put some hot coffee in a thermos and bring two cups and wait for Steve.
He was almost feeling asleep again when he heard footsteps. He straightened up and looked at the silhouette coming in his direction, ready to make a sign with his hand, when he froze.
They were two people.
Steve, like expected, but also an older guy, Steveâs dad.
Eddie was looking around him to see in which direction he should flee but these jocks were quick and they reached him.
âHi ⌠Eddie finally said lamely while they stopped their run. What a pleasure seeing you here.
-Friend of your? Donald asks his son
-Yeah.â
It shouldnât make him this happy, but Eddie is glad that Steve didnât deny being his friend, especially in front of his dad.
âWhat are you doing here? Steve asks
-I enjoy the weather.â Eddie lied not knowing what he could say in front of Steveâs dad
But with the surprised look father and son send him, it was probably not the best thing to say.
âCoffee?â He proposed
Can a demobat come to put an end to his misery please?
Before Steve can answer anything his dad shrugged and accepted his proposition, thanking Eddie. Steve imitated his father and suddenly they were in the woods drinking coffee awkwardly.
âOh ! I know why your face tells me something !â Donald exclaimed
Eddie winced, even before Vecna his reputation, and his fatherâs reputation, werenât good, but now it was worse.
âYouâre the kid who thought it was funny to knock at our door in the middle of the night.â
Seriously !? Where are the demobat ?!
âEh ⌠Yeah ⌠Sorry about that. Eddie cleared his throat and continued. I came here for that. To apologies.â
He answered Donald but kept looking at Steve hoping he could see that his heart was sincere.
Steve sight and told to his dad :
âDo you mind continuing without me? I want to talk with Eddie.
-We were supposed to go to the garage, taking your car back. Donald said. You didnât even bring your keys or your wallet.
-It wonât be long.â
Donald didnât seem to believe his son.
âI can drive him. Eddie said. My van is not far away.
-Doesnât change that you donât have your key or wallet.
-It wonât be long. Steve repeated annoyed
-I am leaving in two hours, your mother is probably already on her way to work. If youâre not back before I leave the house will be closed. Donald warned him
-I will be back.â Steve promised
Donald nodded and left them.
Steve sighted again, annoyed and put his hand on his hair before looking at Eddie.
âSorry. Eddie said. I thought you would be alone.
-I have always run with my dad, since I was a kid. Steve explained
-I didnât know.â
Steve shrugs like to say âwhat can you doâ.
âDo you mind if we talk while going to your car? My dad wasnât kidding about me finding the house closed.
-No not at all. After you my liege.â Eddie said showing him the way
They walk a little while in silence before Eddie finally plucks up his courage.
âSo I fucked up.
-You mean, when you wanted to fuck me with my parents in the house or when you wanted to talk about it with my father there?
-Ok first, I didnât want to fuck you.â Eddie defend himself
Steve shoots him an unimpressed glare.
âI wouldnât have said no if it was an option. Eddie admits. But I really just wanted to spend more time with you. And honestly, with your âninjaâs skillâ you are a little hypocritical about the whole âmy parents were homeâ.â
Oh if looks could kill.
But Steve scoffs despite himself and seems to be a little more relaxed.
âYouâre an asshole.â Steve said without any poison in his voice
Eddie took that as a win and beamed with happiness.
âTake one to know one.
-Donât push your luck.
-So I fucked up, Eddie repeated, I was to scared to properly asking you on a date. But I really want to date you, Steve.â
Steve tensed up but Eddie keep going on :
âI am not âcuriousâ. I am bi too, I have known for a long time.â
Steve looked at him out of the corner of his eyes, with some surprise and hope. Eddieâs heart starts racing and he said :
âI'm not trying to brag but weirdly many girls are attracted to me, to many who are convinced I am a murderer. It's disturbing what they propose doing for me, convincing I killed people.
-Some people are really crazy.
-You have no idea. So ⌠I am not suffering with blue balls, where you are my only hope, Steve Harrington. I donât want to date you because I think youâre easy or a phase. I want to date you because you are you and itâs perfect for me.â
They arrived at Eddieâs van when he had finished talking. He was looking expectably Steve, hoping he would be swoon by him, professing his love and they would leave, living their love somewhere where it is always sunny.
But Steve was quiet while he got in the car, Eddie following him while keeping looking at him.
âSo?
-I donât know what to tell you Eddie.
-Well, I donât know ⌠What ⌠What do you think?
-I ⌠I think youâre lying.
-Why would I be lying?
-We both know why you would be lying.
-Well, I am not lying. I donât need you to have sex, I donât need you to gain experience, I donât need you to boost my ego. I just want you.â
Steve should be elevated. He always wanted to be desired. Eddieâs love is what he prayed for. But he just feels nauseous.
All he can think of are Tommyâs hands on his body, his mouth on his neck, his dick inside him.
âI want you, Stevie. Donât you want to please me? Please, Stevie. I can only trust you.â
At the moment, he thought it was right, but with hindsight it was too much, too fast. Curiosity and horniness make him ignore many times he feels uncomfortable.
He thought it was normal, especially the first time, especially with men.
He wasnât ready when they lost their virginity to each other. There was no tenderness, no intimacy. It just feels like a task to check on a to-do list. He is pretty sure that Tommy did everything to imagine it was anyone else but Steve and that is so demeaning still today.
âHey, are you alright? Eddie asks, putting his hand on his shoulder. You are pretty pale.
-I ⌠I am fine. Just drive me home, please.â
Eddie says nothing for a very long time. Honestly he is angry at Steve and his lack of reaction doesnât help him.
Eddie starts his van and drives. After a few minutes of silence where Steve refuses to look at him, Eddie get angry.
âI simply donât understand what I did to make you think so lowly of me. I wish you will be ⌠but then again you donât have to but ⌠I thought that we were friends. That you know me.
-Eddie. Steve said exasperated
-What? Itâs not like you tell you werenât interested, that you donât love, which âouchâ but I could deal with it. The problem is that you think I am some kind of creep only interested in putting my dick in you no matter what.
-Like you donât think about it.
-I mean yeah. But like ⌠Didnât you think about having sex with any of your crush or any girlfriend that you had? Why when you did it, itâs ok, but when it is me I am a creep?
-Look, I didnât call you a creep ⌠Steve try to defend himself but he doesnât know how to explain himself
-You may as well. I was honest with you and all I got is âYouâre lying to get in my pantsâ. I just âŚâ
Eddie passed a hand over his face to stop the tears before they could fall. Maybe Robin was right. He should have just dropped it. His feelings, their friendship. Their relationship.
âI thought you knew me better than that.â Eddie repeats
Because more than his unrequired feelings, this is what hurt him the most.
âI donât know what to tell you, Eddie.
-Yeah. Me neither.â
They spend the rest of the drive in an oppressive silent. Steve almost jump out of the car when they arrive at his home and Eddie almost leave without being sure that Steve could enter his home.
Almost.
Despite everything, Steve had to look at Eddie one last time before going, and Eddie needed to be sure that Steve would be safe in his home before leaving.
When Eddie saw Donald arrive from the woods and let Steve enter with him in their home, he left him being.
He laid his card on the table. Now it is Steveâs turn.
Steve is more than happy to have his car back but his happiness is diluted by his relationship with Eddie.
Itâs all he can think about. Eddie.
Because Eddie is right. Steve is hypocritical. Of course Steve pursued some girl that he thought about having sex with. Of course he put in some good words, dressed like they liked, and listened to things that didnât interest him that much to gain some points to woo them.
It was flirting is, isnât it?
You make yourself as appealing as possible to gain the favour of the one you want. Yes, sex is a part of the deal, but affection is too.
Didnât he pursue Nancy because he wanted to have sex with her. Yes he liked her, he even loved her, and sex was a big part for him to show her that. He didnât think of throwing her out once he got in her pants.
And he knows, despite his asshole, scary demeanor, Eddie was sweet and honest to default. He trusts him with his life.
Why couldnât he trust him with his body?
All he can think about is Tommy.
Tommy is the only boy with whom he had sex. Not that he never fantasized about anyone else and he is pretty sure that some other man in Hawkins showed him some interest.
But the fear was too overwhelming.
Robin always puts on a face when he says this but it is true : he is lucky enough to act normal and find happiness in it. Why should he risk everything for a guy ?
It was a mistake to do his coming out. He just didnât want to hide anything because they had so much secret with the Upside Down. And he knows what he is, always knew. He will always be attracted to boys as much as he is to girls, and he doesnât really care. He simply doesnât want to act on it.
Not again. Never again.
Itâs because he is too much in his head that Robin succeeds in trapping him in her basement.
Well, not like that. But it feels like it.
Her parents are some kind of hippie who donât care that she spends her Friday night alone with a boy in their basement to drink and she uses that to her advantage.
Once Steve is drunk enough that standing is a chore but he still can talk easily, she attacks.
âSo, what happened between you and Eddie?â
Steve groans and keep saying âBetray by my own blood and fleshâ
âSeriously, both of you seem miserable. What happen?
-Why when I want to talk about my love life, it is a chore to you to listen and gross, but when I donât want to, youâre ready to listen? Doesnât seem fair. Steve poutsÂ
-Come on Dingus ! Talk to me !
-You know what? I will talk about my love life if you explain to me female masturbation.
-What?! No ! Gross !
-Well I suppose we can always talk about this weird french film about monks being murdered.
-The Name of the Rose. You wonât distract me. Robin said. You know what ? If talking about masturbation will help you open up, then fine !â
Steve snorted pretty loudly.
âWhat can I tell you anyway? Did you brag about going down on girls and making them come on your fingers? What can I tell you?
-Well why do you masturbate?
-So gross. I am going to puke. Well I guess for the same reason that you do it.
-So you just feel like it and you do it.
-Yeah mostly.
-What is the weirdest thing you masturbate to?
-No. Nope. No comment.
-I will tell you mine if you tell me yours.
-I donât want to know yours. Robin laugh without being able to control herself, soon joined by Steve
-Ok, ok. Steve said. But now that you have experience with Vicky âŚ
-Dear Lord have mercy on my soul.
-How does that work? Lesbian sex? Like how do you decide which of you will be the man?
-Steve, Stevie, Harringtonetchou.
-What? Steve laugh
-The whole point of lesbian sex is that there is no man. Robin laughs too thinking the idea is too ridiculous. Like when you slept with Tommy, did one of you the âgirlâ?â
Robin kept laughing until she realized that Steve becoming dead silent.
âSteve?
-He refused to even kiss me if we didnât decide which one of us will be the girl. Steve admits. Like if it was me then he will call me âgood girlâ, âprincessâ sometime âbitchâ. And if it was him I was supposed to call him like that too.
-Fuck.
-Yeah.
-Fuck.
-Yeah.
-Did ⌠Did you like it? No judgement just ⌠Waouh.
-I didnât. Steve murmurs. I didnât understand then but now I realize that it was erasing who I was. I am a man, I donât want to be a girl. No offence.
-None taken. Donât want to be a man. Not sure how I will react if Vicky calls me pretty boy.
-Yeah.
-Fuck.
-Yeah.
-And did you like it? Called him that?
-Meh. I liked that he didnât like it since it was his stupid idea and I was happy I wasnât the only one miserable.
-What a sane relationship you had.
-Isn't that right? Steve laugh. But no, I didn't liked call him that. I ⌠I wanted to have sex with Tommy, not Tammy.â
They both stop talking before looking at each other dead in the eyes.
âYou asshole ! You asshole !
-I swear it was an incident ! That the first girl named looking alike Tommy that I thought of â
They both laugh again before Steve calms himself down.
âI want Eddie. I am just not sure that he wants me.
-I am sure that he wants you, so much it makes the guy crazy stupid. I also think that if you only want to have a platonic romantic relationship, he will agree because all he wants is to spend time with the people he loves because he knows that he can lose them anytime.
-Thatâs pretty beautiful, Robin.
-Think about it when you will need someone to make a toast at your marriage?
-You will be my first choice. He promises then continues. I am scared.
-I know. I will be by your side, no matter what. She swears
-I was an asshole to him.
-You can be like that. But you also happen to be someone you own his mistake and know how to repair then. I am sure you will find the word with Eddie.
Eddie was at Skull Rock, smoking and listening to his music, lying on the floor, watching without looking at the branches moving with the wind.
Since his discussion with Steve, Eddie feels himself like a stick on the water, unable to stop the tide, keeping being tossed about in all directions.
He should have dropped it.
He keeps feeling sorry for himself then suddenly a sound makes him jump. Some branches near him crack under the weight of someone.
It was stupid to isolate himself after everything that happened in Hawkins, but the simple fact of being with people when he was so blue itching him the worst way unimaginable.
âSteve. He said with relief when he saw who it was. What are you doing here?
-I was looking for you.
-Lucky me, I suppose.
-Lucky you.â
Steve turned down the sound of his radio and sat down in front of him. Close but not enough for Eddie.
It didnât realize just how much he missed him before now.
He can feel the part of his heart belonging to Steve gently put himself back in his chest.
âSo I was an asshole to you. Steve said. No. Let me speak. I donât, but I really donât want, talk about it more than necessary but I just have one experience with a boy. It wasnât good. And I take that on you. You were right. I know you. Or at least I think I know you and I just accuse you of something he was doing that has nothing to do with you. I am sorry.â
Gently, Eddie proposed his hand to Steve, he didnât want to touch him without his explicit authorisation but damn does he want to hug Steve and never let him go.
With a little hesitation, Steve put his hand in his and it feels like he can breathe again.
âI think I should really commit a murder. Eddie finally said making Steve snort. I mean since everyone think I am the leader of a cult satanic I should use it for the good.
-Please, donât.
-I donât really know what you lived but, me too, I didn't have a stellar relationship with men before. So I can understand being scared.
-I never said I was scared. Steve protested for the fun because there was no need to lie now about that
-Sure, but I can understand.
-I was hoping you would.â
They keep smiling at each other, tightening their hands.
âWhat about a real first date? Steve proposed. I have my car now. I can come and pick you up at your place tonight. I will let you choose the moving.
-Well if I get to choose the movie how can I refuse? I would love to.
-Nice. So at tonight?
-At tonight.â Eddie confirm
Steve seems hesitant to peck on his cheek but decides not to do it.
Thatâs ok. Dateâs purpose is to get to know each other better and get comfortable enough to steal a kiss or two.
Eddie isnât in a rush. He is more than happy to have a chance to properly woo Steve and he will take all the time that he deserves.
âBye Bi. He canât help but joke before Steve disappear between the threes
Ok so we got so many fic of Eddie rejecting Steve at first because Eddie's convinced Steve is straight and he refuses to be an "experiment" for straight boy Steve
But what if it goes the other way??
Eddie, having hidden himself in the closet SO WELL because he's already got enough reasons to be The Freak and doesn't need one that'll make people murder him for real, doesn't think before impulsively kissing Steve almost as soon as Steve comes out to him as bi.
And Steve gets to be the one like 'fuck you, you don't get to do this to me!'
Something something angst and misunderstandings.
Would LOVE if anyone could rec some fics with this premise or if anyone wants to write it I'd love you forever.
It's been a while since I write anything a.d first time I write about Stranger Thing.
It was getting longer that I wanted lol but kinda like it.
Hope you will like it too
***
Steve won't say he doesn't love sex, because he loves it.
But he doesn't love to feel used.
The first time it happened was with Tommy. They were friends since forever and in middle school, they became curious about sexuality.
At first it was mostly innocent but the more they were doing more they were comfortable with each other.
Steve realized quickly that he was bi. It was terrifying but he thought that he wasn't alone, that Tommy was like him.
He was kind of ashamed of how fast he fell for Tommy then, how he accepted losing his V-card before high school because Tommy didn't want to be a virgin at the start of the new school year.
But the memory that always makes him cringe is the one where Carol and Tommy arrived together at school and kissed in front of him. He has given a blow job to Tommy the night just before.
"What the hell dude?! Steve yells at Tommy once they were alone
-What? Jealous I have a girlfriend first? Tommy show off
-We were together last night âŚ
-Yeah, thank for that. It helped calm my nerve to ask Carol."
Steve heard the word but cannot comprehend what's happening.
"What? Tommy asks because Steve was silent for too long. You didn't believe we were ⌠you know ⌠it was just training before we have girlfriend. I am not ⌠Are you?"
Steve's blood froze in his vein.
He is really alone.
"Of course not. He lied trying to act more relaxed. You didn't tell me you will ask Carol out. I thought I was your best friend. That's all.
-But you are my best friend!"
Tommy seems to accept Steve's explanation easily and tells him all about his new relationship with Carol.
After that, Steve deals with his broken heart and after a while only sees Tommy as some kind of friend despite not liking him very much.
If Steve accepted Carol easily, Tommy was restless with any girl Steve went out with. Many admit breaking up with him because of Tommy.
Steve was mad each time, but "bro before hoe" so he shut up.
But it was pretty obvious how possessif Tommy was with him, and despite being with Carol how he still desires Steve.
Everytime it was just the two of them and they were drunk, Tommy made a move.
Their relationship was hell and Steve never wanted anything like that.
Lesson learned. Never "date" a straight boy, especially one who suppose to be his friend.
Nancy saves him in many ways and he can't be grateful enough.
***
He is also grateful for Robin. She must be the first friend with who he feels one hundred percent free to talk about anything.
He didn't even try to hide his bisexualty to her, and they talk about their crush without filter.
Even his stupid crush on Eddie was known by her.
"Maybe you should take your chance with him." She tells him one day
Steve looks at her like a second head appears in her shoulder. Since Vicky reciprocates her feelings, Robin is becoming really optimistic.
"You really think that Eddie likes men? Steve laugh
-Why not?
-Please, didn't you see how he acts with girls, especially the cheerleader? This man loves only one type of jock and it's not basketball player. Steve snort
-I don't know âŚ"
Robin can't deny that Eddie is flirting with a type of girl at school but their interaction during the last crisis makes her doubt.
"He was really flirting with you more "big boy"."
Steve blushes while laughing.
"Don't know ⌠You and Nancy aren't really his type. And he was probably trying to make me uncomfortable."
After all, even if Steve didn't hide who he was anymore, he never felt the right moment to do his coming out before their movie night the night prior.
Customers coming to the shop make them stop their discussion.
One of them was Eddie.
When you speak of the devil âŚ
And damn, was Eddie looking sinful today.
His cut jeans were tight right where that mattered. He wears a flannel shirt open where a nice white tee shirt for a change was visible.
He even puts his hair on a low bun and styles his bangs.
Steve knows that nothing will happen with Eddie, but he is only human and he loves looking at what can't be his.
Eddie says a quick "Hi" before leaving them working, he walks in the aisle looking at any movie, waiting for the rest of the customers to leave.
Once things were calmer, he put his elbow on the counter and put a big smile on them.
"Hello there. How my favorite fake twins separate at birth doing?"
Robin rolls her eyes amused while Steve snort.
"Did you lost a movie, again?
-It's happen just once ! No my good sir. Watch your grimoire and he will tell you I am as truthful as a cute elf.
-My grimoire told me you're pretty high.
-Only because your eyes put me in the seventh sky, big boy." Eddie jokes
Eddie is joking right?
Robin doesn't must think that the glance she gives him.
"Yeah no. Pretty sure at least Marie Jane is in it. Steve insist
-Seriously, I am not high."
There is a serioulness in the bottomless brown eyes that make Steve knees weak.
"Ok Bambi, Robin says, we believe you, right Steve?
-Right.
-So what are you here for? Movie or company?
-Company. Eddie admis. I was thinking we could go to the cinema and dinner after work."
Eddie mostly watches Steve but glance at Robin.
Did he want to go on a date with Robin and hope that Steve will find an excuse to not go?
He hopes it's not that. He remembers the terror on Robin's eyes when she tells him she is lesbian as an answer to Steve's advance. She was afraid he may be violent with her, be disgusted by her. He never ever want her to feel that way, especially because of a friend.
"Do not have my car. Steve admis. It is in the garage but if you don't mind being the taxi then it's good for me.
-Wait, Eddie is driving? Hell no. I am out !"
Steve looks at Eddie expecting to see disappointment but he was hiding him well.
"Just the two of us then. I will see you tonight.
-That's a date." Robin laughs while Steve tries to understand what he just said yes.
***
Eddie is not punctual, he is here early.
Robin refuses to take Eddie offers to drop her off and says that she hopes that Steve draws his last wish.
"Don't worry Robin, I give you everything I own."
Steve wasn't sure what to expect. Eddie must be mad at him after all. But no, like always the two boys laugh easily and talk about everything.
Eddie lets Steve choose the movie since Eddie refuses letting him change the radio. Steve kind of thinks of choosing the worst rom com available but he wants to have a good time too.
Finally he chose an action movie. Eddie didn't even mock his choice. He even admits that it was a good movie when they were eating at the dinner.
It is middle of the night when Eddie takes Steve back to his house.
"Well it was nice. Steve says
-Yeah. I have fun."
Steve smiled and opened his door.
"Good night and don't sleep in class tomorrow.
-I will totally do that." Eddie laughs and quits his car too
Steve raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything when Eddie walks closing to him until they are in front of Steve's home door.
"I was thinking ⌠Eddie start
-Dangerous thing.
-We could continue the night at yours."
Before Steve can tell him that his parent are at home and that they can't get high, he feels Eddie's hand caress his wrist.
Oh.
Well Steve is not that stupid. He can be in deny when someone isn't interested in him, but he knows when someone is interested in him.
Of course Eddie wasn't mad Robin didn't come. He didn't want her to.
Steve feels his heart lose control.
He should be happy, right? He has a crush on Eddie and Eddie wants to pursue the night in his room.
Steve wants to throw up. It started like that with Tommy. And Eddie timing is weird too.
Seriously? Mister I Drool In Front Of Cheerleader is interested in Steve not even twenty four hours after he learns that Steve is bi.
Steve knows that Eddie is not popular, even more after Vecna. He must not be able to find a girlfriend, he thought bitterly.
"Is that because I am bi? Steve asks
-Yeah. Eddie answers easily like it is the evidence even if he looked embarrassed
-I see. Let me guess."
Steve feels his blood boil. He forces himself to relax against his door and caress Eddie's chest.
"Heterosexuality is so conformism and you're curious."
He can see that Eddie is troubled. Not really understanding what Steve is saying with a smile so cute.
"And I suppose that girls are too scared of big bad Eddie, making you suffer from blue balls."
Eddie scoffs but before he can defend himself, Steve continu :
"Well guess what? Be there, done that. Not interested. So go fuck yourself."
Steve slapped the door in his face without letting him say anything.
Eddie was lost.
They had such a lovely night. Eddie takes the risk because once he knows that Steve is indeed attracted to men, then his blushes and shutter must mean that Steve is attracted to Eddie, right?
So why does Steve act like Eddie is such an asshole?
What did he miss?
He can't leave like that.
He starts knocking and buzzing.
He feels like he needs to tell Steve now that he loves him or he may lose him forever.
***
Donald Harrington is suddenly awake. When he realize that it comes from the front door he grumbles :
"Steve, I swear if you forgot your key âŚ
-I am here."
Donald jumps when he hears his son, awake in his pj brushing his teeth.
"What the hell is going on?"
Steve goes to his bathroom for spit and shrug.
"My ⌠friend is just being an asshole.
-Well tell him to get out.
-No."
And just like that Steve slap his door and turned the key.
Waouh ⌠this shit is as insupportable as his mother when he wants to.
Donald opens the front door suddenly and almost makes this teenager fall on his floor.
"Look at me son, I don't give a fuck about what's going on between my son and you but if you don't leave right, I am calling the cops. Do you understand?"
Eddie keeps trying to see behind him, if Steve is behind his father but he didn't see him.
"Do you understand?
-Yes sir. Sorry to bother you." Eddie grumbles and leave his head hanging low
***
Robin is in her locker the next day and jumps when Eddie appears from nowhere.
"Jeez dude ! Put a bell or something.
-I have chains on my jeans. Eddie says bit can't laugh. I need talk to you, now in my spot.
-You want me go in a secluded area with you. What are the percent that I will have to hide your body?
-Eighty ⌠Ninety percent âŚ
-What did you do?
-Please. Can you put me in my pillory anywhere else?"
Robin grumbles and starts following him. Once sitted on the picnic table near school, Eddie nervously asks :
"I am bi.
-Yeah kind of hoping you were."
Eddie raises his eyebrow.
"It was a date, with Steve last night, right?
-It was. Eddie says then starts playing with his rings
-So? What did you do?
-I am not sure âŚ"
Eddie jumps and paces nervously.
"Everything was so good and perfect and once at his home I ask him to come inside âŚ
-Gross.
-Lady Buckley, please. And suddenly he slaps the door on my face !"
Eddie keeps walking and Robin's silence doesn't help him at all.
"Well? Do you have anything to say?
-I think you are pretty bold to ask having sex with Steve in his house where his parents are.
-I didn't propose sex. Eddie defend himself. I just ⌠I wanted to hug him, well okay, maybe kissing him too somewhere a mob wouldn't try kill me again.
-Did you tell him that?
-Didn't have the time."
Eddie then fall on the table whispering pathetic.
Robin taky pity on him, explain that Steve is sure that Eddie is straight.
"It was a date.
-You invite me too, dingus.
-Because I was nervous and was sure you would say no.
-Doesn't change that it was hanging out with friends more than date that you proposed."
Then, without giving name she explains that Steve has been used by "friends" who wanted gaining experience in sex without that counting.
Eddie was scandalized but not that surprised. He saw how other men, such as Tommy, looked at Steve. Someone desirable but without love.
"What should I do now? I am really, hundred percent, interested romantically by Steve.
-Let him some time, she says and Eddie hates her for that, I will try talking to him. And when you will talk to him, tell him he is not an experience and that you know what your sexuality is.
-What if he still doesn't let me my chance? What if I waste my only chance?"
Robin shrugs, unable to promise him that everything would be alright. But she hopes so.
Trop de difficultĂŠ Ă ĂŠcrire depuis un moment, jâessaye de mây remettre mais le faire en anglais rend la tache plus compliquĂŠ. Alors je lâai ĂŠcrite en français.
Pour ceux qui seront le lire: Bonne lecture !
****
William sort de chez lui en quĂŞte de plaisir nocturne et tombe sur Peter, prostituĂŠ dans les Narrows.
Ou Roy et Jason joue un jeu pour l'anniversaire de Jason
***
William roulait au beau milieu de la nuit dans les rues de Gotham.
Il ĂŠtait sortie de son duplex dans Monolith Square. Il essayait de se convaincre quâil comptait juste faire un tour de voiture pour sâaider Ă dormir. Rien de plus.
Mais il descendait vers Narrows et plus il voyait les prostituĂŠs plus il savait quâil nâallait pas finir seul ce soir.
Il se mit Ă rouler doucement au pas, regardant toutes les travailleuses et tous les travailleurs de la nuit qui lui prĂŞtaient plus dâattention.
Il fini par remarquer un prostituĂŠ dans un angle.
CâĂŠtait un beau et un grand jeune homme. Il avait des cheveux brun bouclĂŠs plus long sur le dessus et rasĂŠ de près sur le cĂ´tĂŠ. Il portait un short en jean très court avec un crop top rouge et une veste en cuir.
Putain, il avait besoin dâavoir cet homme pour lui.
Quand il sâarrĂŞta, une femme sâapprocha de sa fenĂŞtre passager alors quâil lâouvrait.
 Salut trÊsor. Besoin de compagnie ?
-Je dirais pas non, mais je pensais plutôt au gars derrière toi.
-Tant pis pour toi mon cĹur. 
Au dĂŠbut le prostituĂŠ ne semblait pas sâintĂŠresser Ă William, il dĂť klaxonner après avoir fait plusieurs signes de main.
ÂŤÂ Je peux tâaider ? Lâhomme demanda en sâappuyant sur la fenĂŞtre
-Jâespère bien. Je peux tâemmener quelque part ? 
Lâhomme regarda William de haut en bas puis regarda la voiture.
ÂŤÂ Tâes flic ?
-Non.
-Tâes obligĂŠ de me le dire si tu lâes, mĂŞme si tâes pas en service.
-Promis je ne suis pas flic. 
Lâhomme haussa les ĂŠpaules avant de monter.
ÂŤÂ William. Il se prĂŠsenta
-Peter. 
William se mit Ă rouler doucement un peu au hasard alors quâun silence gĂŞnĂŠ commençait Ă ĂŠmerger.
ÂŤÂ Alors ⌠comment est-ce que âŚÂ ? 
William se racla la gorge.
ÂŤÂ 50 pour une fellation, 100 pour rapport anal dans la voiture. Je me permet de prendre des frais supplĂŠmentaires suivant tes demandes.
-Et si je te ramène chez moi ?
-200 minimum.
-Ăa marche. 
Peter monta en voiture avec nonchalance. Il mit sa ceinture sans plus regarder William.
William quant à lui ne pouvait dÊtourner le regard. Avec la lumière intÊrieur de la voiture, il remarqua enfin que Peter Êtait maquillÊ.
Il avait mis du mascara et de lâeyeliner qui faisait ressortir le vert de ses yeux. Il avait ĂŠgalement mis du fard Ă paupière pailletĂŠ.
Mais ce qui accrochait le plus le regard de William fut le gloss rouge sur les lèvres dÊjà pulpeuse de Peter. Bien malgrÊ lui, il imagina toutes les choses indÊcentes que ces lèvres allaient faire.
Est-ce quâil va arriver Ă tenir jusquâĂ la maison alors quâil veut prendre Peter lĂ maintenant.
ÂŤÂ Tu prĂŠfères faire ça dans la voiture finalement ?  Peter demanda dâun air coquin en sâapercevant de lâeffet quâil lui faisait
William sursauta et rougit, il assura que non en bredouillant et en redĂŠmarrant tant bien que mal la voiture.
Et ce foutu Peter qui cachait très mal son rire derrière sa main. Il nâavait quâune seule envie.
Lâembrasser comme un fou.
Depuis le moment oĂš ils sâĂŠtaient retrouvĂŠ quâĂ quelques centimètres lâun de lâautre, Roy sentit un courant ĂŠlectrique envahir tout son corps, hĂŠrissait les poils derrière sa nuque.
Ils nâarriveraient jamais assez vite chez lui.
***
Après une rencontre gĂŞnant avec sa voisine du troisième dans lâascenseur qui leur souhaita une bonne journĂŠe, ils arrivèrent chez William.
Ă peine la porte refermĂŠe, William plaqua Peter contre le mur et voulu lâembrasser. Peter le stoppa, posant ses doigts sur ses lèvres.
 Doucement Cassanova. Tu es sÝr que tu peux me payer ? 
Sans un mot de plus, William sourit en sâapprochant de la table dans son salon. Il sortit une grosse, vraiment très grosse liasse de billet de sa veste.
Peter ĂŠcarquilla les yeux avant de les battre frĂŠnĂŠtiquement.
 Ce sont des faux ?
-Nope.
-Tu avais autant dâargent sur toi en te rendant dans un endroit surnommĂŠ Crime Alley ?
-Alors ça fera assez ?
-CâĂŠtait extrĂŞmement dangereux.
-Tu tâinquiètes pour moi ? Câest chou.
-Tâes quâun abrutit. 
Sans perdre de son aplomb, William plaqua Peter contre la table, passant une de ses jambes entre les siennes. Ses lèvres frôlèrent celle de Peter.
Ils ĂŠtaient tellement près lâun de lâautre que William pouvait sentir la respiration de Peter sâarrĂŞtait brusquement avant quâil nâessaye de la contrĂ´ler Ă nouveau.
ÂŤÂ Alors on sâarrĂŞte lĂ Â ? 
Peter sâhumecta les lèvres en ĂŠvitant son regard.
Il se retourna lÊgèrement pour faire mine de compter les billets. William chercha à connaÎtre les pensÊes de Peter.
Est-ce quâil avait tout ratĂŠÂ ? Est-ce quâil lâavait fait trop peur Ă Peter ?
Peter posa sa main sur la clavicule de William en se retournant, le coupant la respiration.
Quand ils sâembrassèrent, William ne put sâempĂŞcher de gĂŠmir de soulagement.
ÂŤÂ Tant quâĂ ĂŞtre lĂ , je ne vais pas partir les mains vides. Peter susurra
-Putain, merci. 
William attrapa les hanches de Peter pour le retourner. Il mordit son cou tout en ouvrant le short de Peter.
ÂŤÂ Quelquâun est impatient.
-Tu nâas aucune idĂŠe Ă quel point. 
Leur rapport fut intense et rapide. La table avait tellement raclĂŠe le sol que William ĂŠtait persuadĂŠ que son voisin de dessous allait se plaindre le lendemain.
Et tous ses voisins allaient avoir de quoi se plaindre, car la nuit ne faisait que commencer.
William Êtait attachÊ au montant du lit, Peter, qui ne portait plus que sa veste en cuir, le chevauchait lentement alors que les rayons du soleil commençaient à dessiner leur corps quand ils eurent un autre des nombreux orgasmes de la nuit.
Finalement fatiguĂŠs, Peter sâĂŠcroula sur William.
ÂŤÂ Putain ⌠CâĂŠtait une nuit mĂŠmorable. William sâexclama tandis que Peter souriait. Et maintenant ?
-Maintenant ? 
Peter lâembrassa langoureusement avant de lui rĂŠpondre.
ÂŤÂ Maintenant, je vais te laisser attachĂŠ pendant que je regarde si tâas dâautres liasses de billets qui traĂŽnent ou des objets que je pourrais revendre.
-Quoi ? 
Peter souri malicieusement en se redressant et quitta la chambre.
William perdit son sourire et tira sur les menottes.
 Peter. Peter ! Jason, je te jure que si tu fais quoi que ce soit à mes Roybot ! 
Jason revint sâappuyant sur la rambarde de la porte. Il ĂŠtait complètement nu maintenant et ĂŠtait en train de se dĂŠmaquiller.
ÂŤÂ SĂŠrieusement Roytoy ? Câest ce quâil te faut pour dire nos mots de sĂŠcuritĂŠ. Rigola-t-il en sâavançant vers leur lit. Et je croyais que le garçon dont sâĂŠtait lâanniversaire avait le droit de faire ce quâil veut. 
Ils continuèrent à se chamailler pendant que Jason dÊtachait Roy. Ils finirent par bailler entre chaque mot et dÊcidèrent de reprendre après une bonne douche et une bonne sieste.
Une fois installĂŠ dans un lit avec des draps propres, enlacĂŠs dans les bras lâun de lâautre Roy dit :
ÂŤÂ Bon anniversaire Jaybird. CâĂŠtait un bon anniversaire ?
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Roy Harper/Jason Todd
Characters: Jason Todd, Roy Harper, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson
Summary:
For the JayRoy week 2022.
Day 01 : Cauth in Act and the Family find out.
For the JayRoy week 2022.
Day 01 : Cauth in Act and the Family find out.
***
âOh come on Jay! Please, just come with us.
-Yeah but no.â
Jason looks at his brothers with a smirk. They all were changing for the Gala of the Watson and none of them wanted to go.
Victoire Watson, once sightly drunk, love to grope men and pinch boys cheek and the Wayne seem to be her favorite target. Something about them looking like her old flame, which look nothing like her husband.
The invitation was for all the family, but Jason broke his ankle, so he has the perfect excuse for not going. And knowing that Jason and his curly hair were always her favorite target, so there is no way he will come.
âI think that it is pretty suspicious that Todd âbrokeâ his ankle right before this atrocity that some imbecile call a gala. Damian says while trying to knot his tie
-It is not âbrokeâ, Jason defend himself, it is broke.
-And how does it happen already? Because you werenât very forward about what happen to you. Tim argues
-I fell on stair.
-Pretty suspicious.
-And pretty lame too. How the hell did you fail on stair?
-An unicorn pushed me.
-Donât joke about unicorn, Todd. There are vicious creature.
-You believe in unicorn, Damian. Tim laugh
-Santa is real, dragon are real, but not unicorn? Yeah, Drake, your logic is irrefutable.
-Gotta ya.â
The boys keep arguing when Alfred enter in the room to tell them it is time to leave. After some argument, they all finish in the hall. Jason keep smiling sit in the stair, while his brothers all try to stay.
âPlease Bruce I am sure Littlewing will be bored all alone, here without anyone.
-Not at all.
-Believe me, chum. I already try.â Bruce answers looking at Alfred
All the boys snort at that.
âHappy to know you want to spend time with me only when itâs profitable for you.
-Jaylad, I didnât mean it like that. To prove to you I will stay here with you.
-Not a chance, Master Bruce. Everybody in the car right now. Donât make me take the gun.
-I am not comfortable with that idea.â Bruce say
They all finish to say goodbye and suddenly the Manor is deadly calm.
âFuck, finally.â Jason says
He canât wait to get back to his book.
***
Jason isnât sure what time it is, after a while. All he knows for sure is that he is hungry and for a moment now.
It is still weird for him to be able to chosen not to eat at each opportunity, knowing that there will be always food waiting for him.
Using his crutch, he go to the kitchen.
He prepare some carbonara when suddenly a silent alarm go on.
Someone enter by the garage door.
Armed with his crutch Jason goes in this direction. Probably some person thinking that all the rich are out of the house. Jason doesnât blame them, he though doing it many time when he lived in the street. But all his family have so many item with emotional connection. It will be annoying dealing with the aftermath if he doesnât even try to defend their things.
Hiding behind a wall, Jason saw a shadow arrives. Without a hesitation, Jason punch the intruder.
The man fall with a cry of pain. Jason raise the crutch for an another punch.
âStop! Please Jaybird! Stop!
-Roy? Roy! Fuck! Sorry! I am so sorry! Are you alright?
-Always a pleasure to fall for you.â
Roy had an another cry of pain while he is trying to raise up.
âI am so sorry.
-Thatâs okay. I feel better already.
-Why didnât you call me?
-Surprise!
-Idiot.â
Jason smile and kiss him.
With some difficulties, they both succeed put themselves on their feet.
âSo how are the injured?
-Hungry, honestly. I was cooking, would you want some?
-Yes, of course.
-Wait! I need to turn off the alarm before all my family come here.
-Yeah, it would be awkward. What did you tell them to explain your injury?
-Fell from a stair.â
Roy laughs.
âWell it is better than the true.
-Asshole.â
***
Jason doesnât know what he is doing here. A frat party is probably the last place in Earth where he would want to go.
Some friends discuss about bringing him in front of Bruce, that found this was a great idea.
âYou should enjoy your young Jaylad. You know at your age âŚ
-Please Master Bruce, I do not want to relive that.â
After a few minutes, Jason found somewhere quiet. He watches the time, but since he was there for only twenty minutes, Bruce doesnât expect him home this soon.
And he loves Bruce and his family, but he prefers not have another lecture about ânot everything is learn in your books Jason.â
Jason doesnât really know what he is supposed to learn by being wasted.
When things couldnât be worst âŚ
Someone push him to go who knows where. He almost fell and is only stopped by some strong arms.
âHey there. Seems like you have enough sweetie.â
The stranger take his soda, probably thinking that Jason put something else in there. Jason almost yell at him, mad about the assumption, but when he sees who it is, he forgot how to talk.
Roy doesnât recognize him immediately, but when he does he seems really happy to see him.
They start talking about Dick and what they are doing in their life now.
One thing leading to another, they finish on the lawn in front the house. They were still discussing when the sun rises.
They realize how early -or late â it is when the sprinklers are start off.
âShit!
-Fuck!â
They run away laughing.
âWell, seems like the night is over.
-Seems like it.â
They stand awkwardly in front of each other. None of them wanted the night to end.
âDo you ⌠Oh sorry. No you, go ahead. Please.â They said as the same time.
They giggle awkwardly.
âPlease. Jason say
-Yeah ⌠I was just propose you to go at my home. To change. Since weâre wet.
-Isnât too late to trick me go home for a night stand. Jason jokes
-Probably. Good thing I want to see you again after today.â
Jason is embarrassed to realize he is blushing. And his cheeks become redder with each inch Roy take to approach their face.
Finally Jason catch Royâs neck so they can kiss.
***
After they decide not to tell their family about their new relationship. They wanted to take their time without feeling pressure in any direction. Especially since they didnât know where they were going too.
One morning after passing the night together in Royâs apartment, Dick came without notices.
Panicking, Jason jump from the window and fly away. Itâs just some block away that he realize that the pain in the ankle didnât seem to go away.
Roy feel bad for Jason and wanted to go see him as soon as Jason tell him, but he refuse.
âIf my brother, if Dick learn how I get hurt they will never let that down.
-So Iâm just be your secret for all our life.
-You say that like you expect spend all your life with me.
-Maybe I hope so.â
Jason was taken by surprise, I didnât know how to answer. It seems like the kind of conversation they should have in person and not by phone.
âYou know what? Next time we are in this situation, I wonât choose to jump.
-And let your family see everything?
-Maybe they will learn how to knot before enter.â
***
âI still do not understand how you knew I will be alone here? Jason says
-Dick tell me all about Watsonâs soirĂŠe. And all unfair it was that you donât have to go.
-Have brother they say, it would be fun they say. Seriously, they would literally throw me under the bus if they could.
-Like you wonât do that to them.
-True.â
They laugh.
Roy and Jason is sitting in the couch, a movie they donât watch on the TV. Jason lie his broken ankle on Royâs thigh. Roy caress Jasonâs calf absent-mindedly, but after a while, his hand caress his tight, going closer to his crotch with each caress.
âRoy.
-Hm, Jaybird.â
It is a bad idea. They are in the living room, in Bruceâs home. Even in Jasonâs room, they shouldnât do it. Each time they were intimate was in Royâs house.
But they will come back in late night, early morning and the evening just started.
âTake off your clothes now.â
Roy grins before take off his shirt and kiss Jason that start taking off his short, carefully because of his cast.
Roy kiss Jasonâs stomach while lifting his shirt, then slowly going up, kissing his chest. He licks and bite one of his nipples while pinches the other.
Jason whimpers and his nails scratch Royâs back. He puts one of his hands on Royâs ass to put their groin on each other, needed the friction.
âGod, why the hell have you still your pant?â
Roy snorts.
âYou can call me Roy, you know?
-Asshole. Take it off.â
Royâs pant and underwear fall in the floor next to Jasonâs rest of clothes.
Roy has his breath takes away when he sees Jason like that.
Lying on the couch, blushing but with a mischievous smile and hungry eyes.
âYouâre beautiful.
-Shut up.
-I am serious, Jason. I am so happy to have see you this night.
-Itâs not like we will never have met. You know my brother, remember?
-It wouldnât have been the same.â
Jason smile kind of embarrassed.
The memory of the pain in the ass he gain by being sit too long on the grass, of the way their fingers brush each other all night, the way of the sun illuminate Royâs hair and how shinny his smile was, make Jason warm.
âI love you.â He tells without he canât stop himself
He fears he said the wrong thing with how much Royâs eyes widen.
He wants telling him he was joking. He wants admit out loud his feeling.
He doesnât know what he want.
It must be the worst way possible to say âI love youâ for the first time. They talk without really talking about their relationship.
Not that Jason doesnât want more, but he is too afraid that Roy still see him as some kind of booty call that happen to be the little brother of his best friend.
He should tell Roy not taking him seriously. Maybe a blowjob would be a good distraction.
Before he could take a decision, Roy look at him fondly.
âI love you too, Jaybird. I love you so much.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
-Well good thing I love you then.
-Really good.â
Tenderly, they kiss. It feels so new and so familiar at the same time. Like seeing again after a long time in the darkness.
Even this time of making love feel extremely intense despite being vanilla because of Jasonâs injury.
Their orgasm built slowly but couldnât seem to come, teasing them cruelly.
âFuck!â
Roy and Jason stop abruptly what they are doing.
On the doorstep on the living room, all Jasonâs family is here.
Bonus :
âPlease tell me you use a condom.
-Dad please! Can you let us dress before question us?
-I canât believe that your sexy student was my brother! Roy, I ask you things that I never want to know about my brother!
-I am your sexy student?
-His dick is deep downâŚ
-Damian shut up!â
I was thinking of interaction between Tim and Damian and I was thinking :
Ra in the fandom is see as having a weird twisted interest for Tim. What if he decide to purse Tim (in aboverse or something else)
Obviously Tim is like "Nope. Not interested" and his family is protective.
But ! But, one day Damian and Tim argue about silly things and someone (probably Jason) say :
"Hey, be nicer with your grandma"
Everything become chaos and the worst is now everyone call Tim Damian's grandmother. Even Tim sometimes (when he want distract Damian or just upset him for example)
Not sure ut is true, but in the post, during leap years womrn could court men.
I imagine an universe Jane Austen style, maybe even omegaverse or at least genderbender for Jason.
Like for years it's obvious for everyone that someting is going on between Jason and Roy. But Roy never propose, never speak about that with neither Jason, Bruce or Dick.
Roy doesn't think he has a chance because he is divorced with child and no "real position in society".
Well, leap year arrives and Jason decide to court Roy himself, making his intention clear.
I think of something mostly funny and fluff with an happy ending.
Work was so slow I keep thinking about this story.
Of course, itâs a fanfiction so it doesnât have to be historically accurate but I was curious about how was life in Regency Era.
I found two book about etiquette and politeness for Lady and Gentlemen, I canât wait to read it :D
There are also many information on the internet.
I didnât know that they used their fan to write how to do a dance. I like the idea of Jason and Roy share note via fan.
So idea en vrac about this fic :
Harper family:
Like divorcee can be given only because of adultery or lethal cruelty. So finally I donât want Roy to be divorced, but his mariage with Jade be annulment because of fraud (like a fake name use), which will cause another problem as Lian become illigitimate !
I though of Jade be âsimplyâ dead but I like the idea of Jade that can one day simply come back in Lianâs life and so ... more problem ! lol
I hesitate between Roy being Oliver pupil or biological son. Probably more pupill but I am not sure
Wayne family:
At first I wanted the kids have the same relationship with Bruce as the comic. But then Jason is just a pupill and doesnât âdeserveâ marry someone of high class even if Bruce give him a enormous dowry. And it also decrease potential chaperonne for Jason (since his brothers and sisters wouldnât be by blood)
So I was thinking :
Bruce is biological all their father. But which choose as their mother?
Because of Damian (I think of add Athanasia Al Ghul as his twin) I though of Talia, but I kinda like the relationship between Dick and Talia like in this fic (jayroy). For people that donât know this fic, they arenât close at all.
So I was thinking they donât have to have the same mother (like this fic (jay/slade)).
Then who do choose and how to explain that they are still all legitimate, without kill all Bruceâs spouse (lol)
So I was thinking :
Bruce had an affair with Mary before she was married. She realize she was pregnant with his child but say nothing to him. Just to Jon who doesnât think less of her and still want to marry her and raise this child like it is his. But! They die and they prepare document for Bruce in this case. When he learn the true, he take Dick without hesitate and legitimate him. But at first their relationship isnât good.
Iâm thinking of Dick as an alpha but I donât know who he will marry
When Dick was 6yo (not in Bruce life yet), Bruce had an affair with Lady Shiva. She fall pregnant (twin : Cassandra and Jason) and since she has also sex with David Cain, she canât be sure who the father is. Bruce is like :Â âDavid is a monster, I will take the childrenâ
But! At the same time he was supposed to marry Natalia Knight.
Bruce tells her the true.
Natalia, accepting the mariage for having money and more liberty as wife, and knowing she canât have kid (for x reason) accept to marry Bruce sooner, âhidâ for nine month and claim that she is the biological mother of the twin.
The true is well know in their family (even by Jason and Cassandra when they will be older)
But! Natalia die.
Before or after her death, Tim Drake lose his parent and become Bruceâs pupill
After a while, Bruce and Talia marry each other and have their twin Damian and Athanasia.
Now I donât know if I make their mariage happy in the long terme or if they decide to separate after a while so Selina and Bruce has a child Helena.
Did I lost someone yet? lol
There is so much possibility !
I donât even know for sure the second gender of everyone and who they will marry.
If I have time, I hope I can write about all of that and not just JayRoy
Ok I just realize something in this universe, it is umprobable that Alfred become the legal guardian of Bruce (with the right to managa Bruceâs affair aka his heritage of the Wayne family and part of the Kane). So I was curious to see if Thomas Wayne has any sibling or if he would have Marthaâs brother as his legal guardian.
Well I found this !
Not sure if it is canon with the comics but damn!
There will be some legal battle between all his uncles/aunt to know who can manage Bruceâs heritage until he is an adult.
But Alfred will stay in Alfredâs life (as nurse, majordom or something)
Jeez, I had a simply idea and it become out of control lol
If I want to talk about everything I should do a story about:
Ok sorry I will use this post to note all my idea with this story because for now it would be easier for me to have everything here.
Sorry for the incovenience x/
I was thinking what secondary gender I want for Tim, keep hesitating.
At first I was like Kon will be the opposite so I can make them together. But then I realize that in my idea, Tim is still Drake only child and heir so money isn't a problem and he has a good position in society already.
So what about same gender Tim and Kon being the iconic "best friends" as historian will call them when reading their letter to each other lol
Then I though of the Superfamily.
I kinda like that Kon is Lex and Clark's child, but I still want Clark and Lois together so they can have Jon and Lara.
And I didn't want Kon to be illigitemate like Lian (changing a little so not all characters has the same background)
Well divorce could be given for adultery and lethal cruelty. Don't feel like adultery is something both of them will do, but Lex maybe-kinda- almost kill Clark (maybe and Kon) maybe more than once? Oh yah I like that.
Then automatically I though Clark = victim of marital abuse = omega (wrong thing to believe but like I say it was my first though) BUT never an omega would have been granted the custody 100% of their children since they are see as propriety to their father. And I wanted something like young justice where Kon was first raised "only" by Lex then gain perspective from the Kent family
So Lex = omega and Clark = alpha
Do you feel how out of control this idea become? Lol
Batman and Tim are gone to a mission in space.<br />
Alfred take his first vacation since forever.<br />
So Damian is let alone with the last pup, Jason Todd, that his father adopt a few month ago.<br />
Not a big deal, right?<br />
Well until the pup start his heat ...âAre you sure everything will be alright?â
Note :Â
Damian Wayne Al Ghul  Alpha 20 years old
Tim Drake: Unpresented 14 years old
Jason Todd: Omega (presented in this fic) 12 years old
Cassandra Cain: 9 years old not in this fic
Dick Grayson: 6 years old not in this fic
***
Damian sights and rolls his eyes. His father can really be exasperating, especially since he decides to add some pups to their pack.
âTt- Itâs not the first time who leave Gotham to me for one of your Justice League mission.
-This time Alfred wonât be with you either.â
Bruce could only blame himself, he is the one that force his father figure to go on vacation somewhere without cellphone so he can really relax. But he didnât have expected having a mission on space with the Justice League.
âMaybe I should cancel his trip. He will understand âŚ
-Father, donât you trust me?â
Now Damian start to be really upset. With the years, they had many problem of communication and trust. Now, they both know that they love each other deeply and would do anything for the other, but they still have difficulty to talk to each other.
âThis isnât the problem. Bruce says wanting to avoid a confrontation. I am not comfortable to let you without back up.
-I will have back up. Damian roll his eyes. Colin leaves in Gotham, in case you forget, and Jon will stay in Metropolis like Iris will be in Central City. And âŚâ
Damian looks at where Jason watches Tim prepare his bag.
âTt- with your obsession to add unnecessary pups to the pack, we will even have a Cambion each. Oh yeah thatâs true my name isnât good enough for Drake and he change it. By what already?
-By RedBird. And we already talk about that, no pup has to be necessary.â
Bruce sights. True is Bruce is the one who convince Tim to change the name.
He never liked that Damian chosen this name and now that he got by Batson, Bruce just want this name fallen in oblivion.
RedBird is the name Tim chose and Bruce is happy with that.
But Damian never accept that. And he is particularly spiteful with Tim, refusing to accept him as part of his pack.
âIs leaving you Jason going to be a problem for you?â
Jason arrived in the Manor only a few months ago and if the little pup doesnât seem to have found his place yet in their pack, Damian doesnât show him the same animosity that he shows to Tim.
âTt- as long as he doesnât stole the silverware, there shouldnât be a problem.â
Bruce sights and want to add something but Superman call him to know when they will arrive. He calls Tim so they leave by the ZetaTub.
âI know the âCambion remarkâ was to be mean, but just in case: Jason isnât authorized to go on the field.
Tt- I know.
-Take care of yourself, sons. Tim and I should be back soon.
-See ya.â Jason says
***
True to be told, Damian as less aversion for Jason that he has for Tim.
Todd didnât found his fatherâs secret identity, didnât come to his house after Damianâs departure because Batman âneedâ a sidekick.
Todd was unlucky enough to be an orphan from the Narrow and bold enough to steal Batmanâs tire the day of his parents death.
Damian can respect that.
Plus, Jason mostly like to be alone, or doesnât mind spend hours in the same room of someone without talking. Damian appreciate this quality.
âYou donât need a babysitter, do you?
-I am twelve.
-Good. You just need my permission for leaving the Manor, otherwise do whatever a kid like to do.â
Jason raises an eyebrow watching Damian who goes to the Batcomputer.
âThatâs it? Arenât you afraid that I could steal the silverware?
-I already hide it.
-Seriously?â
Damian doesnât answer, he simply start to caress Alfred the Cat who has taken place in his leg.
Jason doesnât insist and decide to go to his room.
***
The following days were good. Damian was doing a good job at being Batman in Gotham, he didnât even need back up. Jason was mostly in school or in his room. They spend time together only to eat.
At first, Damian join Jason because he was sure the pup was like his father and Drake, unable to cook and survive without Alfred.
But when he enters in the kitchen, Jason was already cooking something that smell marvelous.
âNot sure I am supposed let you behind the stove. Damian says
-Like you will cook?
-I am not incompetent like my Father. Mother teach me everything I need to survive, included cooking.
-Well, my mother wasnât in good state to teach me anything but I am sure I am better than you.
-Tt â What about we check your little hypothesis?â
And just like that, they take the habit to cook together.
Unfortunately, it is not a family habit to have so many good days without any problem coming.
When Damian goes to the kitchen, he is surprised to not see Jason already there. He waits some minutes trying to decide if he should start without him, but it doesnât seems right for him.
He suddenly realize that he doesnât hear about Jason for hours now.
He is not worried about his father new pup, absolutely not. After all, he accepted coming in the Manor only to replace his father as Batman. Not to form a bond about this pup that wonât be part of his pack.
He is just curious thatâs all.
And if it happen that today, Todd doesnât want to cook with him, then it would be fine. There is no need to be disappointed about this prospect at all.
He doesnât find the pup at the library so he goes to his room.
Weirdly, Todd isnât in there either but Damian hears the shower running.
âTodd, will you eat tonight?â Damian asks knocking at the door
No answer.
Damian knock again calling after the pup, but just the sound of the water answer him.
âTodd, Iâm coming in.â
As soon as Damian opens the door he has to pinch his nose.
âThatâs stink!
-Fuck you. âm still smell better than you.â
Suddenly, Damian recognizes the smell. An omega in heat.
Except Colinâs, Damian never liked the strong smell of an omega in heat or an alpha in rut. Not even his own smell.
Jason is sitting on the shower, cold water that keep fall on him.
âHow long are you in there? Damian asks stopping the water
-No! I am too hot! Jason moans
-Tt. How long are you in there?â
Damian take a towel and put it around Jason so he can make him leave the bathroom. Jason is right, he is really warm. Nothing unusual for an omega in heat, but always unpleasant sensation.
âI donât know. It was still dark outside.
-Tt! Itâs noon already! Why didnât you come find me?â
Jason shrugs.
âDidnât think you would have help.â
Damian frowns.
He knows that he isnât a member of a pack of Jason, but he though that the pup knew that he could found him if he was in trouble.
âYouâre a pup, of course I would have help you.â
Once Jason was dry, Damian put him so random PJ and put him in the bed.
âStay in bed, you should be better here. I bring food and water. I donât want to move, understand?â
Jason keep moaning and rolling in the bed, scratching his clothes. Damian rolls his eyes and leaves him.
***
Damn, this day gets wrong with every minutes.
When Jason hears Damianâs voice, he was relieved. He wants someone to help him, telling him that everything will be fine. But no one in his life was like that to him.
Even his mother ⌠She tried but despite how much she loved Jason, she was part of the reason Jason needed help.
Itâs been a few month since he was living in the Manor. The pack is really weird.
Damian, Tim, Alfred and himself are part of Bruceâs pack.
But Damian never try to bond with them, so he isnât really part of Tim and Jasonâs pack.
And Tim and Jason donât see each other much. Tim come to the Manor only for patrol and Jason canât participate for now. So they donât consider each other as part of the same pack.
Alfred tries to change Tim and Jason relationship but there isnât much that could be do with Damian.
âWhat a mess.â Jason thinks
Never less, Jason though that when he will finally have his heat, it would be safe and not so lonely.
Jason couldnât help himself but cries.
He wants the pain to stop. He wishes his mother was alive and hugs him. He wishes Bruce was there, calling him champ. He wishes to have more comfortable PJ and more blanket.
He would have prefer not have an alpha that isnât pack near him. Logically, Jason knows that Damian is an asshole but he can be nice like when they cook together. But he canât help but fear of being abused.
Damn, would he feels this miserable every time he will have his heat? That sucks.
âAre you crying? He hears Damian but refuse to react. Tt- there is medicament with your food. Take it.â
Jason shake his head and cowers.
âTt! Donât act like a child.â
Damian forces him to sit down and give him some soup and medicament.
âTake it. It would be better after.â
Finally, Jason decide takes a sip, hoping that Damian will leave him after. But the demon forces him to drink all the soup.
âMore. Your stomach is empty. You will feel better.â
Damian keeps telling him that but honestly, Jason is just feeling worse.
He canât wait for his heat to pass.
***
Damian paces in the corridor.
The pup not only stink because of his heat but also because of distress.
Damian doesnât understand what else he could do. The pup is safely in his den, with food and an alpha to protect him. What else could he want?
Of course he tries to contact Bruce or Alfred but neither answer. And Damian doesnât consider the situation as an emergency.
True is he is too proud to admit he is overtake by the situation.
Seriously why did that happen now?
Did Jason too young for that? Damian doesnât think that Drake as presented yet. Himself didnât present until he was thirteen.
How could he fail? He helps Colin frequently, so he knows what an omega need.
Colin always seems happy in his bed after some food and medicament.
Another sobs is heard from Jasonâs room.
Damian sighs.
He needs backup. Quickly.
***
âHey Dami.
-Hey Beloved.
-Still no improvement? Colin asks him after they kiss
-It gets worse. Damian admits. I appreciate that you comes.
-Thatâs ok. But he may not want someone that is not part of his pack to come near him.
-Well one of us, will have to come in his room, no matter what.â
Colin shrug an eyebrown.
âDidnât you guys get close this day?
-Still not pack.â
Colin didnât try to debate with Damian. His lover could be as stubborn as possessive sometimes.
They were arrived to the corridor, when Colin had to take a break before he was going to throw up.
âYou didnât lie, it stinks. He must have been in distress for hours now.
-He says it was dark when he wake up.
-Damn Dami, you should have call me sooner.
-Tt âŚâ
When they arrives in front of the door, Colin knocks and just stick his head in the room.
âHey pup, can I come in?
-Who are you?
-I am Damiâs friend, he though I could help you.â
Jason took a moment to smell the air.
âOmega?
-Yes, I am.
-And a rapist?
-Of course he is not! Damian takes offense. Why should I bring some degenerate here?
-Why should I know that? You are not pack, right?â Jason yells
Damian looks really hurt and guilty by the accusation, Colin gently caress his cheeks.
He isnât really good to show it to people but Damian really care, so much that he may hurts him sometimes.
âI am not here to have sex with you, neither is Damian.â
Jason simply looks at him, judges him.
âCan I come in?â
Finally Jason shrugs.
âWhy not?â He whispers
Colin enters and carefully sit down next to Jason. Tenderly, he caress Jasonâs hair. He moans so pitifully with just this little touch and love himself against Colin so quickly.
âWhat? Arenât Damiâs hugs good enough?
-Damian doesnât hug.â Jason scoff
Damian doesnât hear clearly what the two omega say, but by the glare Colin sent him, he knows he is in trouble.
âAre you in pain?
-Not really, donât feel the cramps since Damian gives me medicament.
-But you donât feel good?
-Feel like shit.â Jason admit now putting his arm around Colin
Damn, Colin thinks this pup is so cute. He can understand why Bruce decide to adopt him.
After being sure that nothing was physically wrong with the pup. Colin look around the room and see many weird things.
âDonât you have more blanket? Maybe some more soft.
-Probably. Bruceâs mother was an omega, they must have thousand blankets here.
-True. And are you the one who took away the curtain of your canopy bed?â
Jason shakes his head.
âThere werenât when I took this room.
-May be nice if I put some. Would you like it?â
Jason hums.
âCan I change PJ too?
-Of course sweetie, why couldnât you?
-Donât know. Jason shrugs. Damian gives it to me.
-Iâm sure he wouldnât mind if you change.â
Jason nods, happy with this information.
âOk, kiddo. I am going to bring all of that now.â
Colin tries to stand up but Jason yells and tightens his embraces.
âNo, please no.
-Hey, everything will be alright. I have only for a minute or two. Just the time for you to change, ok?â
Jason starts crying again but let Colin go.
âI know that heat suck, but that would be ok now.â
Jason snorts. Damian keeps telling him that before and he was wrong.
He really hope that Colin is right because if his heat are all like that, without possibility of getting better, then he really want to found a permanent way to stop them.
Recalcitrant, Jason leaves the bed to change while Colin goes talk to Damian.
âSo?
-So it was bad, Damian.â
Shit Damian and not Dami.
âYou didnât even hug the pup. Seriously, take a book or pick a movie and simply hug him.
-What? This is things I do only with you!
-There nothing sexual in that. And heat is not share only with mate, you know?
-I only do it with you.â
Colin frowns then realizes.
âWait, you really never share a heat with anyone than me?
-Both of my parent are alpha, and it is not costume in the League. Damian blushes. Expect with the one.â
Itâs Colinâs turn to blush.
âIs that for that you were so shy the first you share my heat? Even if it was platonic? Dami, you were only fourteen âŚ
-And I already know then that you were my mate, Beloved.â
Colin could not help himself but to kiss him. His mate always find way to make in fall in love all over again, even if it wasnât on purpose.
âLook, I understand now that it may be uncomfortable for you, but I truly think that you should give this pup some hugs âŚ
-Beloved âŚ
-You see how he reacts with me, and he doesnât even know me. He is badly touch starved. And you get to know each other this last days, to appreciate each other, right?
-Tt âŚ
-Look, if you really canât I will, but for the long term, it would be better if itâs you.â
Damian looks at the pale figure of Jason, he stills seem miserable and shaking. Damian want to help him, he truly do.
âYou will come back?
-Oh I just have to go buy some cigarette.
-You donât smoke. Damian frowns
-No ⌠I mean ⌠Thatâs a joke.
-Are you sure? Itâs not funny.
-Go help your packâs pup, asshole.â Colin laugh pushing Damian in the room while he goes take what Jason need
Damian doesnât have the time to tell âNot my packâ before Colin was gone.
Jason is back sulking in his bed and seems disappointed that Colin is not there anymore.
âTt. Do you mind if I sit down with you?â
Jason shrugs.
âTt.â
Damian sit down at the edge of the bed. The smell is still too strong and it still feel wrong to share the pupâs heat.
At least Jason stop crying and seems to find his discomfort funny and he is in the expecting of what Damian will do.
When his father will be back home, Damian will kill him for putting him in this position.
âThere, there.â Damian says taping the pupâs head
And to his horror, Jason dare laugh at him.
âYouâre really bad at that.
-Tt ⌠Colin should be back soon.â
Jason see the alpha differently now. He truly though that he has abandon him, but he is here and with back up, for Jason.
Suddenly, this dark brooding distant alpha looks like a clumsy caring bear.
âCan I hug you?
-If it can truly help you.â
Damian sit a little closer to Jason and the pup throw himself into his arm, purring like a crazy once he was well installed.
Damn, Colin was right, the pup is touch starved. How could Damian miss that? He put one of his hands on the back of the pup and the other on his head playing with his hair. Damian wasnât sure it was a good idea to repeat same gesture he do with Colin but Jason now is smiling.
The day may not be too bad finally.
***
When Colin return with blankets and curtains, he is relieved to see Jason and Damian much more relaxed.
He gives Jason the blankets and quickly he fix his nest so he can feel more comfortable in it while Damian and he put the curtains.
Once that Jason was sleeping between Colin and Damian, Damian could really consider that they success taking care of the pup.
And finally, sharing the heat of a member of ânot his packâ that isnât his lover is not so bad after all.
