"some people use terms like guy, dude, girlie, sis, queen, man, etc gender neutrally" and "terms like those can make trans and nonbinary people uncomfortable regardless of intent" are two statements that can exist at the same time
I use dude/man gender neutrally, it's just the way that I talk and those around me talk and has nothing to do with gender. my friend uses girl/girlypop/queen gender neutrally. but I also acknowledge that it makes some people uncomfortable and I try to stop if they say it makes them feel bad! my friend knows that using girl/queen makes me dysphoric and avoids using them for me! both things can be true at once and we are human beings with a wide emotional range and nuance for language
