depressed, a mess, and very very stressed

Heyo I'm Conner! Im cool with pretty much all nicknames derived from that tho. He/Him. Some flavor of queer Umm I make picrews and they're all random and whoever comes across my page must meet them all (or not, I can't control you). you'll find the occasional rant about monsters, ok maybe more than occasional. and potentially some mega overshare-y rants abt my life bc my mental health is falling apartttt (keep in mind that is not an all inclusive list, this page simply follows my vibes and those vibes do as they so please)

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haven't been here in a while, have some pictures of my little perfect void

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376 days sober

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Ok I'm posting a lot today (tbh I forgot this account existed but I'm gonna use it a lot now that I remember.

I'm a trans man. u can probably guess this by the he/him pronouns in my bio and the trans flag on my pfp

As a trans man I personally enjoy not being misgendered in gas stations and whatnot. My voice (in my opinion) is the biggest fucking thing stopping this from happening. I've tried all the voice training shit but I have a condition that has fucked up my throat and I cannot physically change my voice like that.

So the question is, what the fuck do I do?? are there certain ways I can change how I talk that aren't related to pitch, volume, resonance, etc.?? Are there any massive other things I can do besides fucking painting a dick on my face that can help me pass??? please I'm dysphoric and desperate

also just fyi I already bind, I wear men's plain t-shirts (a mix of slightly loose fitting to baggy) or a hoodie, my hair is short although I'd be open to any recs on a more masc style (my hair is super fucking thick, mostly straight, and insanely volume-y), I'm 5'4", I wear glasses they're from the men's section of the store and they're kinda rounded square-ish semi-thick black rims (insurance won't cover a new pair until like January next year), also I can't do much walking-wise I had cancer and it fucked up the mobility in my leg so the way I currently walk is the only way I'm rlly able.

I think that covers everything, I'm open to any advice. if you need further clarification on anything just ask!

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shout out to my old pumpkin pecan waffles candle my grandma bought me from bath and body works. the electricity in my room is out and it's my only source of light

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Pretty pictures taken at my little neighborhood park, they may not all be *good* but they certainly all are vibes

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I collect monster cans. For the most part it's pretty fun I'd say it brings me a decent amount of joy. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I AM DOWN TO THE LAST FEW CANS WHICH ARE HIDING AWAY SOMEWHERE WITH MY WILL TO LIVE. Monster has the monster ultra collection and I have most of the cans for it except for 2, the monster ultra black and the monster ultra blue. these 2 flavors are impossible to find and it's driving me mad. If anyone knows of stores that sell them (I live in the US btw) pls pls pls tell me. At this point I'd be willing to walk 100 miles to get them /hj. that's all, monster is just enraging me

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I started and nearly finished this piece a while back, but I've never found the motivation to finish it in a way that'll actually be as good as the rest of it. So here is my artwork exiled into the chronically unfinished metaphoric pile of my artworks

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Here are my most recent artworks! the butterfly one is unfinished but still looks cool!