Some thoughts. I was going to wait until they were more in order but nope, just going to splat them on here. Hereafter follow spoilers, spoilers galore, here there be dragons, etc etc, though I'm going to babble about myself first (it'll be relevant) (at least to my mind it is) so no harm done if you look at the first few paragraphs. Still, Good Omens spoilers, here some be. Though honestly a lot more personal stuff than spoilers.
Right. Here we go.
I did a Master's degree in English Literature. The title of my dissertation was Free Will and the Transference of Power, and it was about the tendency in fantasy novels for, at the end of all things, 'magic' in whatever form (actual magic, elves, dragons, gods, Old Ones, etc) to leave the world and for the responsibility of taking care of the world to pass into the hands of humankind. Among a lot of other things I mused on whether this was 'good' or 'bad' or 'necessary'. On the whole I'm very, very, very pro free will and enjoyed writing it all a lot, aside from the stress of "oh shit I have to get this gigantic thing finished or I'll FAIL MY DEGREE AAAAHHH". It's all still stuff I love discussing. (for those who will inevitably ask I used Tolkien, LeGuin, and Susan Cooper as my primary examples of the trope, though I kick myself for not having included Lloyd Alexander and Phillip Pullman and a good many others, but that's a book for another lifetime where I became the academic I really thought I'd become).
When asked about my religious beliefs, the answer is "vaugely Deist," AKA the Clockwork God theory, that some sort of Creator once upon a time set everything in motion and then stepped back to let it run without further interference. I didn't have the terminology for it as a kid but that's been my belief pretty much since I was ten (when I first realized my family was Episcopalean on one side, Jewish on the other, my parents had each abandoned these to become Zen Buddhists {in one case later fervent atheist, the other is now a roshi at her temple}, I went to Presbyterian schools because all the other schools in the area were dreadful, and that while I sort of felt that on the whole there was more likely an overall creative force than not the idea of choosing a particular religious path as True or Fact, just didn't work for me, to say nothing of the idea of an interventionist God, but that is all yet another story albeit one for this lifetime).
Given all that, you'd think I'd be okay with the ending of season three. And in some ways I am. Intellectually I am. It was very Terry Pratchett (himself very much an atheist), had a lot of echoes of the end of Small Gods. And given how much of a struggle it was to wrest the story away from [not named] and back into the hands of Terry's estate, that feels appropriate.
But.
When you get right down to it...in the end, everyone died. Not just died, but ceased to exist. Everyone. Including the angel and demon I've been so invested in for years, whose happy ending I have wanted so, so, so badly. And not just them but their whole world, the one that's been my sandbox during Huge Life Changes, the pandemic, becoming extremely disabled, having to give up my vocation, a host of other things.
So yeah. Mixed feelings, to say the least.
Do I like that in the end Crowley, constantly true to himself, chose to let humans have the power to choose and do things and live without the constant threat of Someday God Will Just End Everything Arbitrarily looming over them? That feels right, yes. Do I like that Aziraphale in the end left the choice to Crowley? Also yes. Am I happy that essentially all fanfic is now canon? Sure. Was it cute to watch a human au of Crowley and Aziraphale become smitten? Always is, that's why I read so much of it. Is there stuff to work with and think about? Absolutely.
But I needed *their* happy ending too. The demon who once Fell from Heaven and is still angry about it and wanting to know why, the angel who loved humanity's foods and music and literature so much he surrounded himself with them constantly, both of the outsiders who found each other against all odds. And instead they and their entire world are just...undone. Replaced by a new version that looks like them and no doubt have their own stories to tell that are worth hearing. But I needed *their* ending, and I really, really wanted it to be something other than self-sacrifice for the sake of humanity.
I suppose, given that Good Omens has always been a story about what it means to be human, I wanted to be about the humans choosing to make their own choices. I wanted the things the humans do to have meaning. So, Adam, again. Jesus/Yeshua/Josh couldn't have been exactly the same (though what would I give for th original six episodes which included Jesus and Adam meeting up and running around), we needed higher stakes, but...that much does feel wrong. Which is part of the point Crowley was making, that the human's choices *didn't* matter God's rigged game, I know.
So again, it's appropriate that I'm frustrated. Life is frustrating. Existence is frustrating. It's all questions without answers but at least in their story now no one is mucking them about (except from a meta standpoint because the writers were and we will and actually it's ALL MUCKING ABOUT ALWAYS). I don't doubt Terry would approve of things not being all neat and tidy at the end. He was never one to shy away from a mess.
But I didn't just want appropriate. I wanted to see them happy. Aziraphale and Crowley, happy and together. I'm grieving right now because I just watched my comfort couple and all their world, all the little details we as a fandom have taken so much joy in celebrating, get erased. And even if it's rebuilt a thousand times and a thousand times more, infinite Anthonys and Asa/Ezra/Alistair/InsertNameHeres, that hurts. It really, really hurts.
I don't blame anyone for having a different reaction; anyone who's happy with the ending absolutely should enjoy it. I think I'm still glad to have watched it, there was a whole lot to inspire and delight me too, especially in the first half (where several things I predicted happened and one thing I'd feared didn't, so that's nice). I am glad for all the cast and crew who put their heart into it and saved it from not having any ending at all. I still wish we could've had the full six episodes even if it'd had the same ending.
But I'm going to be grieving for a while.
Chu wanning is THE character ever. He's powerful, talented, and righteous. He seems perfect and put together. He's a hot mess. An absolute wreck. His room looks like a hurricane touched down in it. He regularly falls off his bed. He makes robots. He's a hazard in the kitchen aside from exactly one (1) dish. He has a resting bitch face but honestly is just socially anxious. His only friends are his students, his boss, and a little gremlin dragon he made (which can grow in size. And he can ride it. He rides a fucking dragon). He's gay. His taste in women is "female. alive." He has a terrible sugar addiction. He can drink you under the table several times over. He has sexy dreams about getting absolutely railed into next week by his beloved. He wants to be held gently and be called beautiful. He knows next to nothing abt sex. He stuck a candlestick up his ass. He once tried to remove his spiritual core by carving it out of his chest with a sword. He dragged his beloved up 3799 stairs while on the verge of death. He was carved from a block of magic wood. He traveled through time and space, creating an entirely new timeline to change both his own and his beloved's fates. He split apart his soul and shoved half of it into his beloved. He ran away when his beloved confessed to him. He's afraid of heights. He cannot handle anything even remotely spicy. He dies. He comes back to life after 5 years. He gambles. He's a man of the people. He won't hesitate to cut a bitch. Children are terrified of him. What else.
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