Summary: your relationship with Ashton gets significantly closer
Pairing: Ashton Irwin x fem! reader
Warnings: none
Wordcount: 3.4k
Note: sorry for taking so long to update again! Something personal came up that took up a lot of my time. I should be back to my regular update schedule.
Living with Fiona over the weekend was fun. You spent most of your time together, watching trashy TV, running errands, and both of you even had a little cookout. However, like most good things, it had to come to an end.
You stood there on a Sunday morning, both you and Fiona standing over your phone. It was nice being with Fiona, but you knew you needed to grab your things. Plus, work needed you. You had spent 3 blissful days without your work laptop. You huffed, looking over the phone in uncertainty.
“What do I even say?” you looked next to you at Fiona. She also looked a little stumped, thinking.
“Just something simple like, ‘I need to get my stuff’,” Fiona suggested. You shook your head disapprovingly.
“No, it needs to be more…commanding? ‘I’m coming over to grab my stuff now’,” you suggested. You watched Fiona's face, trying to see if she agreed or not. She nodded slightly, indicating that you should text Zack.
You picked your phone off the table, quickly unblocking Zack’s contact and typing out the command. For a moment, you hesitated, thumb hovering over the send button.
Fiona lightly nudged your elbow, encouraging you to send it. With your eyes closed, you quickly pressed it, hearing a loud swoosh sound as it sent. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, plopping your back on the table and walking away.
“God, I hate this,” you said under your breath, walking to the kitchen, a physical manifestation of your eagerness to ignore your phone. You opened a cabinet before grabbing water from the sink.
“Hey, we got your back, remember?” Fiona reminded you as we followed you into the kitchen.
“Look on the bright side, you get an apartment to yourself again, decorate it however you want, and you’re single now!” Fiona said excitedly, nudging your shoulder. You lightly rolled your eyes as you took a sip of water.
“I’m not looking for anything right now,” you told her, staring at the plastic cup in your hand. You could see Fiona’s shoulders sink at your response.
“Well, you always have me…and Calum,” Fiona said, trying to make you feel better. You smiled at her before taking another sip of water.
Your phone dinged from across the room, making you and Fiona look at your phone in nervousness. You started to sweat a little, anticipation building. Fiona looked at you, indicating with her eyes that you should go check the text message.
You walked over, hand tight on the cup as you peered over the black screen. You quickly double-tapped it, trying to wake it up to see the notification. Ashton’s notification appeared on the screen, making your heart skip a beat a little and causing relief. You set the cup down to look at the notification.
Ash: Hey can we talk?
Fiona, nosey as ever, peered over your shoulder, eyes widening once reading the text message.
“Dude already?” Fiona asked, once again slapping your shoulder. You looked at her, shocked by her insinuation.
“No, nothing’s happening, ok? He’s just having some personal issues,” you tried to explain to her as vaguely as possible. You turned your attention back to your phone, texting him a quick message before setting it down.
Fiona rolled her eyes at your response, walking over to another part of the house and disappearing. You looked at your phone again, watching the little grey bubble pop up.
Ash: let's meet at the bar later
A small smile crept up on your face upon reading the message. You quickly liked it before setting your cup in the sink. You enjoyed Ashton’s company, a lot more than you would like to admit. You were glad that the both of you reconciled, bringing your friendship with him to the next level.
Zack hadn’t responded to you all day. It was starting to frustrate you a little. But as the day passed, you sat with Fiona in the living room, quietly anticipating meeting Ashton again.
“What’s wrong with you?” Fiona asked, staring you down. You looked at her, your knee slightly shaking in excitement.
“Nothing, just have some plans later today,” you told her, trying to bring your shoulders down to relax.
“Ohh, plans? Perhaps with someone whose name starts with an A?” Fiona asked, intrigued. Her eyebrow rose, a small smirk on her lips as she leaned next to you.
You were a little embarrassed at how easily Fiona was able to read you. In fact, you felt a little guilty at how ecstatic you were to talk to Ashton. However, a small part of you tried to ignore it.
“Maybe?” you tried to respond, cheeks flushing and voice increasing in pitch. You looked down at your hands, fidgeting out of nervousness.
“Well, be safe and don’t do anything stupid,” Fiona told you. Your head snapped at her in shock.
“He has a girlfriend, y’know?” your voice slightly raised at her.
“Like that’s stopped you before,” Fiona sassily quipped. You shook your head in response.
“Look, it's not like that. We’re just friends,” you adamantly tried to persuade her. Fiona didn’t respond, instead throwing you a knowing look before looking at her phone.
“Well, I need to head out,” you said, trying to diffuse the conversation. Fiona responded with a quick goodbye as you left.
You met Ashton at the bar, sitting in a tall stool. He wore a simple tank top with some jeans. He looked lost in thought. Something was definitely plaguing him.
“Hey,” you greeted as you sat down next to him. He was immediately pulled out of his trance, giving you a small smile back. He had a large beer in his hand, nearly half empty.
“Can I please have a rum and Coke?” you asked the bartender before turning your attention to Ashton.
“I asked to break up,” Ashton told you, barely giving you a chance to ask him what was wrong. His eyes looked a little lost, a small pout on his lips.
“What? What did she say?” you said, trying to get your bearings. The bartender slid your drink towards you. You nonchalantly grasped it before bringing it to your mouth to drink. The taste was a little bitter, the Coke doing very little to mask the taste.
“She just like flipped out and started crying. I don’t know, it scared me,” Ashton said, looking down at his drink. You sensed real emotion and fear coming from him. Your eyes softened as you looked at him.
“I felt trapped,” he whispered to you. You put your hand on his shoulder, trying to make him feel better.
“Hey, you did it. That’s all that matters,” you tried to reassure him. His eyes snapped back to you, slightly teary.
“It feels like climbing a mountain,” he told you truthfully. Your eyes flickered to the side, trying to find a way to respond.
“Hey, it's gonna feel hard now, but she’s gonna get over it, and you can heal,” you tried to explain to him.
“See, I needed to text Zack, and it was so hard for me, but I still did it,” you tried to encourage him. He went from looking at his drink to turning his body completely to meet your face.
“You texted Zack?” Ashton asked, looking into your eyes.
“Yeah, I needed to get my stuff back,” you told him truthfully,
“Wait, this guy still hasn’t given your stuff back to you yet? It’s been days,” Ashton said, his voice becoming louder. You didn’t respond, unsure of how to react to the sudden mood change. You lifted your hand off his shoulder, more out of confusion than fear.
“Yeah, he hasn’t responded to me yet; he’s probably busy,” you tried to reason with Ashton. You took another sip of your drink, a sweet buzzing starting to take over your head.
“Huh, what a creep,” Ashton said, anger flooding his voice even more. He hastily stood up before taking a big swig of his drink and walking out of the bar. You hurriedly looked through your bag, handing the bartender some cash to pay for both of your drinks.
His gait was slightly awkward, his upper body swinging left to right as he struggled to walk. You chased after him, trying to keep an eye on him without causing a scene.
“Hey, where are you going?” you asked hurriedly. You would think it would be easier to catch up to a drunk man. However, the busy streets and various other drunk people made it hard for you to navigate your surroundings, plus keep an eye on Ashton. Honestly, it was hard for you to keep track of the movement of your own feet, the drink’s effects amplifying with each step.
Once the street cleared, you were able to catch up to him, placing your small hands against his broad shoulders. You had a tight grip on Ashton, stopping him from being able to move any further.
“Please stop,” you said a little breathlessly. Ashton turned around, his cheeks flushed, either from being drunk or the anger that suddenly washed over him.
Ashton’s narrow eyes immediately softened once looking at yours. He moved closer to you, leaving inches, maybe even centimeters between both of your bodies. You never noticed the way his eyes sparkled slightly in the dark night, car lights and lamp rays highlighting the green in his eyes.
“I can’t bear the fact that you let him walk all over you,” Ashton said, his voice gruff and low. You held your breath, still trying to read his face.
“I don’t,” you squeaked out. Ashton broke eye contact with you, looking down at the sidewalk before walking up against a brick wall. He rested his fist on the hard surface, trying to take a deep breath. You walked towards him, slightly cornering him against the wall.
“I don’t think you know what it's like to be loved,” Ashton said, still facing the wall. He suddenly turned to face you, not realizing how much you closed the space between the two of you. He halted his movement, looking down at your small figure. You noticed the way his Adam's apple bobbed when swallowing, subconsciously making you gulp.
“Show me,” you blurted out. Ashton, without a moment's hesitation, caressed your jaw before smashing his lips into yours. You melted into the kiss immediately, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.
You were the first to break the kiss, eyes widening in shock at what the both of you just did. You let your arms rest on his shoulders again, looking up at Ashton’s face. He looked down, grabbing your wrists to bring your hands down.
“We can’t go through this again,” Ashton said. You softly used your hand to lift Ashton’s chin upwards to look at you.
“For the first time, it all makes sense,” you started. Ashton brought his eyebrows together in slight confusion before you continued.
“You helping me, me helping you. Don’t you see it? ” you admitted. Ashton perked slightly at your confession. His large hand went to your hand that was holding his face, gently bringing it down to engulf it with his hands. He felt warm and safe in that moment.
“The moment I saw you at that party months ago, I was reminded of everything. I couldn’t get you out of my head, and you kept popping up everywhere,” Ashton also admitted.
“I want to give this a try. For real. No lying,” Ashton adamantly said, staring deep into your eyes. You felt a little flustered at his dominance, a slight smile creeping up into your face as you nodded at him.
“Ok,” you said before nodding in agreement again. Your heart was beating fast, your drunk mind attempting to catch up to the events that just occurred. Ashton smiled at your response, walking towards you before engulfing you in another kiss.
It didn’t matter what was happening around you; the only thing on your mind was the way Ashton gently held your face while you kissed or the way his brown curls brushed against the top of your forehead. You smiled into the kiss.
Ashton broke away, slightly out of breath from how long the kiss was. You looked at him, hopeful. Your face flushed looking at him, slightly giddy from kissing Ashton again. Your head was buzzing tremendously, thoughts barely coursing through your head.
“Here, I wanna take you somewhere,” Ashton told you happily. He confidently took your hand in his before leading you down the street. You followed him, blissfully replaying the kiss that went through your mind.
The streets were dark, with few people on the sidewalk. The street lamps barely lit up the place, a dull warm light. The dark night didn’t help; stars were covered with dark grey clouds, blocking the white moonlight.
As you observed your surroundings, you noticed Ashton was walking into a building with large glass windows and beige concrete columns. He pulled out a key, unlocking the glass doors. The interior was white, with a small countertop, tables, and chairs thrown haphazardly along the cold tile floor.
“Where are we?” you asked, taking in your surroundings. The place was dark; only the dim streetlights reflecting into the building served as a small light source. Ashton broke away from your hand, walking aimlessly amongst the trash.
“I bought this building a few months back. I have a vision to make it into a coffee shop,” Ashton told you, slightly proud of himself. Your mind was still buzzing slightly, looking around at the building.
“You want to open a coffee shop?” you reiterated, looking at him. He nodded at you. You walked over to the walls, noticing damage, holes, and scratches. You subconsciously brought your hand, your skin immediately feeling cold once you touched it.
“Now I don’t have a name or anything really planned yet; it’s still a work in progress,” Ashton said, walking over to where you were. You looked back at him, seeing his smile. You grinned at him too before removing your hand, bringing your arms to his arms.
“I didn’t really take you for a cafe type of guy,” you said jokingly. Ashton let out a little giggle.
“Well, I wanted to expand my horizons,” he admitted to you. You nodded in acknowledgement.
“But this isn’t what I wanted to show you,” Ashton continued. You looked at him, a little confused. He took your hand again, guiding you back outside through the same double doors. He took you to the side of the building, a short flight of concrete stairs leading to a small black door. He typed in a code before placing his hand on the large metal handle and throwing it open.
Once he opened the door, you could barely see inside, darkness engulfing the narrow hallway. You hesitated for a moment, watching Ashton climb the stairs in front of you.
“Come on, I promise you’ll like it,” Ashton said excitedly, motioning for you to walk with him. You followed, attempting to watch where your feet were stepping in the darkness. You placed your hand on Ashton’s lower back, using him as a guide.
Ashton suddenly stopped, pausing to find the handle. After gripping it firmly, he threw the heavy hatch open, the moonlight illuminating him in front of you. He climbed out first before extending his hand to help you up.
“Wait, don’t move! And close your eyes!” Ashton said suddenly. You stood frozen, eyes closing shut. You heard Ashton make his way to the left of you, small clinking coming from the corner.
“Are your eyes closed?” Ashton shouted as he continued to rustle. You could hear him make his way in front of you, stopping to face you.
“Ok you can open them,” Ashton told you softly. The night sky was illuminated by warm fairy lights, a soft breeze making the lights bounce in the air lightly. A small dark green couch sat in front of you, various blankets and pillows thrown all over it. A small checkered red and white rug rested on the concrete rooftop.
“What is all this?” you asked in awe as you walked towards the couch. Ashton followed right next to you, proud of himself. You threw yourself on the couch, the plush cushions relaxing your aching back.
“Check this out!” Ashton said before running in front of you. A small white fridge sat where the fairy lights were plugged in underneath a canopy. He opened the door, revealing a couple of drinks and snacks. You leaned forward, shocked once again.
“This is cool!” you said excitedly. Ashton walked over to you, plopping himself on the couch next to you.
“I worked on this a while back when I was feeling down. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t even get a moment alone. So, I kinda built this place and made it all cozy,” Ashton told you truthfully. You looked at him, a hint of sadness in his eyes.
“This place is beautiful,” you told him, voice softened. The soft crickets and low light suddenly made you sleepy. You rested your head on his shoulder, eyes closed.
“I wanted to share it with you because you really mean a lot to me, friend or girlfriend. I thought you deserved a sanctuary like this, especially since you’re living with Fiona for now,” Ashton admitted. Your head felt heavy, yet you managed to lift it to look at Ashton. He was laser-focused on you.
“I don’t even know what to say,” you admitted. You were at a loss for words at his incredible kindness and vulnerability.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Ashton whispered to you, placing a small peck on your cheek. You smiled at him before placing your head on his lap.
“Here, wait a second,” Ashton told you as he lifted himself from the couch. You were momentarily frustrated at losing him as a pillow. He grabbed a soft blanket that was folded next to you, unraveling it before throwing it on you. You let out a hmm in satisfaction, warming up next to him. You rested your head back onto him, bringing the blanket closer to you. The night drew to a close with Ashton’s arm wrapped around your back. He also threw his head back on the top of the couch, eyes closed.
You woke up to the sun rising and the chirping of birds. You found yourself on the couch, on top of Ashton. He lay underneath you, lightly snoring. You lifted yourself, stretching your arms out. You looked at Ashton, smiling to yourself at the way he was sleeping. His eyes were closed, head turned to the side, face almost buried in the cushion of the couch. You gently placed a kiss on his cheek, his eyes fluttering open at the contact.
“Hey,” Ashton said sleepily in a deep husky voice, looking at you. Your hair was a long, knotted mess, makeup slightly smeared around your eyes and mouth.
“Good morning,” you responded before letting out a yawn. You were straddling him at the waist before you tried to swing your leg to the other side of his body.
“No, don’t leave yet,” Ashton whined a little, placing his large hand on your thigh to prevent you from moving. You looked down on him, a smirk on your lips.
“Here,” you said before throwing the upper half of your body onto his. You gave him a little hug, your face nuzzling the crook of his neck. He smelled like warmth with a hint of his musky cologne. He wrapped his arms around your back, holding you tighter against him.
“We gotta go,” you muffled into his skin, trying to lift yourself off of him.
“Fine,” Ashton relented, throwing his arms off of your back. You sat up again, finally swinging your legs around to the end of the couch before standing up. Ashton slowly sat up on the couch.
“Oh crap, I was supposed to grab my work laptop from Zack’s house,” you facepalmed. Ashton, still waking up, brought his attention to you.
“He still hasn’t texted you?” he asked, bringing his hands to pull his messy curls back. You scanned the carpet for your phone. After finding it, you picked it up, only to see no notifications from Zack.
You shook your head in response. Ashton let out a sigh of annoyance before standing up.
“Come on, let's go,” Ashton demanded.
“Where are we going?” you asked him as he was already making his way to the hatch.
“To get your stuff,” he responded before opening the heavy black hatch.
You woke up on Ashton’s couch, the once bright living room now a dark purple from the sunset. It was a little eerie waking up in the dark by yourself, especially in a house you’ve never been in before. Your eyes were well rested, but your head was pounding. Sweat clung to your body, making the shower you took earlier void.
Your eyes felt heavy and swollen from how much crying you did earlier. The fight kept replaying in your head, your heart immediately panging with hurt. You let out a little sigh. A part of you felt emotionally distant from Zack. With the way he treated you, and the way his true colors came out, you couldn’t care less about him.
But another part of you made you doubt your sanity. How could you have spent the last 2 years hoping things would get better? And why were you willing to lose those 2 years, constantly lying to yourself?
You slowly sat up, mouth a little dry. After swinging your legs off the couch, you stood up and made your way to your phone. The time was 9:12 PM, the bright light causing your eyes to strain a little. Ashton should be back by now, you thought. You set your phone on a nearby table and made your way to the kitchen.
You randomly flipped a switch, a small warm light illuminating part of the kitchen island. You started searching aimlessly for some sort of cup, opening cupboards haphazardly. After finding a cup and filling it, you took a sip, desperate to quench your thirst.
“Glad you’re awake,” a voice emerged from behind you. Ashton stood in the doorway leading into the kitchen. A slight smile was on his face and his arms were crossed over his chest. His loud voice interrupted the ambient noise surrounding his house, making you bring your hand to your chest in fear, nearly dropping your cup.
“You scared me,” you said breathlessly, staring at his figure. He let out a little chuckle, looking down before looking back up at you. He leaned his body against the doorframe, taking in your slightly disheveled appearance. He took notice of how the sides of your hair had dried in an awkward angle, presumably from the way you slept. Additionally, he saw how his shorts had slightly ridden up your legs, the bottom of his shirt slightly wrinkled on your significantly smaller frame.
“How was Valerie?” you asked, walking up to the kitchen counter to place your cup down. Ashton’s initial happy expression turned serious upon hearing the name. His smile dropped, causing you to second guess your decision to bring her up.
“Y’know I’ve been thinking,” Ashton started, looking at your face. The sudden tone shift made you feel slightly awkward, realizing you opened a can of worms. He took a seat in a barstool across from the kitchen island.
“With all the stuff that happened with you and Zack recently…it made me realize something,” Ashton continued. You felt it right to sit down in a nearby bar stool too, internally panicking at where the conversation was going,
“And I’m not happy, kinda like in the same way you weren’t. It was obvious at first, but when we spoke that night, it made me realize that I don’t think I love her,” Ashton said with sincerity in his voice. You were slightly taken aback by his sudden seriousness.
“She’s so demeaning…” Ashton trailed off. You looked down at your hands, trying to find the right words to respond with.
“Are you going to break up with her?” you asked him, fidgeting with your fingers. Upon hearing your question, Ashton scratched the back of head in thought.
“I don’t really know,” he responded. You nodded in acknowledgement. The room fell silent for a moment, yet it was comfortable.
“Do you think I should?” Ashton broke the silence once again. You looked back at his face, eyes round with sadness.
“I don’t know…” you started. You truly didn’t. Sure, Ashton helped you in your realization that Zack hadn’t loved you in the way that he should. But you didn’t know anything about Valerie…other than she was mean. But you were always someone who tried to find the good in people, which is why it took you so long to realize what kind of person Zack was.
“Do you feel loved?” You asked, trying to find more from Ashton. He looked up at the white ceiling in thought.
“I mean no? But also yes? She does nice things for me all the time, but she looks and talks to me like she hates me,” Ashton began speaking from his heart. Your stomach dropped at his truthful answer, feeling bad for the way he was being treated.
“That’s not enough,” you told him bluntly. He looked back at your face, shock slightly written on his face.
“What d’ya mean?” Ashton asked.
“I mean…why are you trying to hold on to something that’s not there? How can someone treat you with so much hate but say they love you?” you said, fully expressing yourself. Ashton nodded, understanding what you were saying.
“That sounds a little familiar,” Ashton said, staring you down.
“Yeah, well I have someone to thank for that,” you looked down shyly.
“Would you like a beer?” Ashton asked before standing up and heading to the large sage green fridge.
“Sure,” you said, watching him grab a dark brown beer bottle. He smacked the top of the bottle on the edge of the table, the cap breaking off with a loud pop. He handed you the drink before opening his own and taking a sip. The taste was bitter, making you smack your lips.
“I’m glad we found each other again,” Ashton said after taking a second sip of his beer. You looked at him as he sat down.
“Why?” you asked. You tried hard to forget about the taste, focusing on the conversation.
“Because I think we go well together. You pick up where I slack and vice versa.” Ashton smiled at you before taking another sip. You smiled too.
“Yeah I agree. I guess if it wasn’t for you…I would be with Zack still,” you responded. You took another sip of the beer. You pretended to shiver, as if being with Zack gave you the creeps. Ashton chuckled at your playfulness before setting the beer down on the table.
“I really missed us. We were like partners in crime…Batman and Robin," Ashton said, looking off to the side.
“Yeah I guess we were pretty close,” you agreed. You were nearly half way through the bottle at this point.
“Yeah, we were wild,” Ashton said, looking at the bottle. Wild. That word brought you back. The way you would kiss Ashton on his lap. The way he would wrap his large arms over your small frame. The way he would make you moan out his name. It all came flooding back unexpectedly.
You let out a little cough, trying to clear away the memories that replayed in your head. You looked up at Ashton. He was slightly flustered in the face too.
“I think I should go,” you said, trying to escape from Ashton. He looked at you, an expression you couldn’t quite make out. You started to stand up from your chair, nearly falling over from how tipsy you were.
“Hey, be careful,” Ashton said, watching you catch yourself. He stood up and walked over to you, grabbing your hand to help you balance.
“Thanks,” you said. He let go of your hand once you found stable footing.
“Just a little tipsy,” you tried explaining to him.
“I know I said you couldn’t stay the night, but you can crash here,” Ashton told you. You looked up at him, slightly confused.
“Why?” you asked.
“Ehh it’s too late to find someone to crash with, plus you’re tipsy,” Ashton explained.
“Here you can take the bed, I’ll take the couch,” Ashton said before making his way to the bedroom. You were a little perplexed at Ashton’s caring attitude, his need to make you stay, even though earlier he said otherwise.
You, however, didn’t want to fight him on the matter. You followed him, watching him take a white pillow from the bed and shove it under his armpit. He untucked one of the corners of the white comforter, inviting you to lie down in the plush bed.
“I’ll just be in the living room if you need me,” Ashton informed you before walking to the door frame. He stopped to watch as you settle yourself in the bed.
“Goodnight, it was nice talking to you,” Ashton said softly, a little smile on his face. He flipped the switch on the wall before gently closing the door. The room was dark. Your body was engulfed with Ashton’s scent, a sudden calmness washing over you. Or was that the alcohol?
You let out a little sigh of content. You were slightly shocked at Ashton’s bluntness about Valerie. Sure, you knew that he wasn’t in the greatest relationship. But something happened between the two of you that hadn’t happened in a long time—he asked for advice. This was a big step.
After getting completely screwed over by Ashton years ago, you found yourself in the same position before it all went to shit. However, this time, it felt different. Ashton seemed like a more genuine person. Sure, he was a nice friend all those years ago, but he acted as if he actually valued you…everything about you.
Ashton from two years ago wouldn’t offer to let you stay the night. He didn’t care for your well-being in the same way he did at this moment. This was a new and refreshing behavior from him.
The orange sunrise woke you from your slumber, the bedroom lightly illuminated. You found yourself slightly sore from yesterday’s hike. You lifted yourself out of the bed, warmth slipping away from you. The house was peacefully quiet.
You opened the door to find Ashton still sleeping on the couch, snoring softly. You grabbed a napkin from his kitchen, and a random pen from the countertop. With black ink, you wrote:
“Thank you so much for letting me stay the night. I’m off to Fiona’s for now. I’ll see you later.”
You folded the paper nicely and left it on the countertop. You grabbed your shoes and walked up to the front door, taking one last look at Ashton’s sleeping figure before softly closing the door behind you.
Luckily, the walk to Fiona’s house wasn’t too far, considering that Calum and the rest of the members wanted to live near each other. You looked a little silly at 7 in the morning. Wrinkled men’s clothes, messy hair, and hiking boots were not very fashionable nor practical.
You knocked on their front door, hoping it was loud enough to wake Fiona or Calum. Fiona opened the door after a few loud knocks. Her hair was messy, eyes squinted, and she wore wrinkled silk pajamas. Once realizing it was you, her eyes widened in shock.
“Oh my god, where were you?” Fiona raised her voice. You were still slightly sleepy yourself, her booming voice waking you up more.
“Shhh, I was just at Ashton’s house,” you tried to calm her down, both of your palms facing towards her. Her eyes widened once again at your statement.
“Ashton Irwin’s house? Are you out of your mind?” She squeaked, trying to force herself to stop yelling. You shook your head at her vigorously.
“Get your mind out of the gutter! Not like that. Trust me, I slept alone in that bed,” you explained, emphasising the last words. Fiona grabbed your hand, pulling you into the house. The floor was made of white tile, white walls, and bronze decorating the house.
“So you’re telling me that you stayed the night at Ash’s place and you didn’t hook up?” Fiona asked once again, trying to clarify everything.
“Yes, I swear we didn’t hook up!” you slightly raised your voice at her. You could hear footsteps making their way down the stairs. A sleepy Calum emerged from upstairs, shirtless with gym shorts on.
“Anyway, why did you stay the night?” Fiona asked once seeing Calum walk downstairs. Fiona was starting to sound like your mother.
“I was planning on coming over here, but we had some beer, and he told me to stay the night,” you lied to Fiona.
“Wait…you drank with him, he told you to stay the night, and you didn’t sleep with him?” Fiona asked once again. You rolled your eyes at the question.
“Yes, now will you please let it go?” you said, childishly stomping your foot on the tile.
“Ok fine.” she conceded. You crossed your arms in front of your chest.
“Well, we have bigger fish to fry anyway. What happened with Zack yesterday?” Fiona asked, once again grabbing your arm and pulling you into the kitchen, your muscles straining slightly. She sat you at their light grey dining table before sitting herself in front of you. Calum sleepily followed behind the two of you, barely waking up.
“I-we broke up. I told him I couldn’t marry him, and he freaked out and kicked me out of the house,” you explained, still trying to make sense of yesterday.
“Wait, where’s all your stuff?” Calum interjected between the both of you.
“At my- Zack’s apartment still,” you explained, watching Calum and Fiona’s reaction.
“Wait, he kicked you out and didn’t even give you the courtesy to grab your stuff?” Calum asked again. Fiona threw a hand up in his face, motioning him to be quiet. Calum immediately quieted down, letting his fiancée speak.
“Wait, so he just expects you to grab your stuff by yourself later?” Fiona asked.
“Yeah, I guess…” you trailed off.
“I honestly don’t know how I’m going to grab everything,” you thought aloud.
“It’s ok, Calum and I can help you,” Fiona reassured, caressing the top of your hand. You were grateful that Fiona had your back.
“For now, let’s get some food. You got a change of clothes?” Fiona asked, pointing at the messy outfit Ashton had given you.
Calum happily made breakfast while you and Fiona were in her closet, graciously lending you some clothes. She found it fitting to have you wear plain jeans and a loose-fitting graphic t-shirt. You threw your hair up in a ponytail, trying to mask its unkempt nature.
“You’re gonna have to text Zack again,” Fiona informed you. The three of you sat at the dining table eating breakfast together. You put your fork down while staring at her.
“How am I supposed to text him back, after all that happened?” you asked her, anxiety overtaking your body.
“Babe, this isn’t about getting back together. You’re there for a mission, to get your things back,” Fiona responded to you. A part of you knew that Fiona was right, but the idea of texting Zack back sent chills all over your body.
“Can’t you just text him for me?” you childishly begged Fiona.
“No, we’re going to keep this civil and grown. Text him, make it short and simple, and get your shit,” Fiona said, determined. You let out a little sigh in frustration, throwing some food into your mouth.
“Y’know I bet Ash and I could help you out,” Calum suggested, pointing his silver fork at you. You lit up at the statement, happily nodding.
“That would actually be a lifesaver. The less time I spend alone with him, the better,” you responded before putting some more food in your mouth.
“Once you’re moved out, we gotta find you a new place to live,” Fiona told you before sipping her coffee.
“Yeah, I know, don’t want to get in the way of all the wedding planning,” you said playfully. Fiona’s face got red, smacking your shoulder with your arm. Both of you let out giggles, and you continued to breakfast.
Summary: you find yourself with Ashton after your big breakup
Pairing: Ashton Irwin x fem! reader
Warnings: none
Wordcount: 1.8k
Note: Hey guys! Sorry for taking a while with an update! Ik this one is short but I promise to come out with a longer chapter soon! Again, thank you so much for the support on this series!
You waited for Ashton’s answer expectantly, nervously bouncing your leg, ignoring the slight soreness that radiated through your thigh. He let out an awkward cough at your question.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Y/N,” Ashton responded. Tears welled up in your eyes upon hearing his answer. You stopped shaking your knee. Tears silently spilled from your eyes, feeling absolutely overridden with stress and sadness.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” you responded, failing to hide the pain in your voice. Ashton let out a huff once hearing your voice.
“Look, you can at least come over for now,” Ashton reasoned with you. A small blanket of relief overcame you, slightly smiling.
“Thanks,” was all that you responded. After hanging up, you struggled to bring yourself up to your feet, heavy cardboard slightly covering your view as you began to walk.
Your body struggled a bit on the long walk there, but you continued to carry on because walking to Ashton’s house was better than sitting in the street all day.
You reached Ashton’s house, a beautiful wooden 1 story house. The street was peaceful, with only the bright sky and light wind decorating the neighborhood. You finally put the cardboard down, arms a little heavy from carrying it for god knows how long.
The doorbell had a black rim, contrasting against the stark white button. You pressed it, looking off to the side while you waited for the door to open.
Ashton opened the door. He was wearing his thick black round eyeglasses, a white loose T-shirt, a large open striped sweater, and baggy light-wash jeans.
“Hey,” Ashton said softly. He noticed your tired appearance, your muddied shoes, and the sweat that made your hair cling to your forehead. Your face showed utter exhaustion. You didn’t have to explain yourself, he knew just from looking at you.
He swiftly guided his arm in, telling you to enter his house. You immediately stepped into the living room, cold air immediately cooling your sweaty body. You were slightly short of breath from the second hike of the day.
His living room was massive, a large brown leather couch sat in the back of it against the wall. A large blue carpet took up most of the flooring, covering the shiny pine wooden flooring.
“You can sit here,” Ashton said, pointing to his couch. You didn’t hesitate, immediately throwing yourself on the couch. Your body ached, and the airy cushions immediately soothed your joints.
“What happened?” Ashton finally piped up once you had taken a moment to catch your breath on the couch. Your once closed eyes opened at his inquiry.
“He asked me to marry him, I told him no,” you said, remembering the earlier events.
“No, I know that. I mean, why do you need a place to crash?” Ashton said, pushing further. Your tears immediately started to well with tears, remembering the fight that transpired earlier.
“He kicked me out,” you said, your voice wavering. Sobs were threatening to escape from your throat. Ashton’s initial calm facial expression immediately widened in shock once hearing your answer.
“You mean he kicked you out, like this?” Ashton’s voice started to raise slightly. He used his entire hand to point towards you, immediately making you feel small.
“Please, there’s no use,” you said defeatedly, tears streaming down your face. You leaned your head on the back of the couch, trying to close your eyes once again.
Ashton let out an annoyed huff before walking out of the living room into the kitchen. You lifted your head once hearing some shuffling in the kitchen, curious about what Ashton’s next plans were. He walked out with his phone, a determined look on his face.
“What are you doing?” You tiredly asked out, silent tears still pooling at the ends of your eyes. He was furiously typing on his phone, lips turned downwards in anger.
“Giving him a piece of my mind,” Ashton managed to say, furry filling his voice. Your eyes widened at the implication.
“Please don’t text him,” you weakly begged him, head lifting up in anxiety.
“No, I’m not going to talk to him,” Ashton told you, pacing around the room as he continued to type furiously.
“Then who are you talking to?” You asked, your body now perked up.
“Fiona,” Ashton answered once hitting send on his phone.
“What did you tell her?” Exhaustion filled your voice. You had purposefully avoided talking to Fiona. Not because you didn’t want to tell her, but because you were scared of her reaction. She loved Zack, and knowing that you “threw it away” would definitely stir a reaction from her.
You let out a defeated sigh, dropping your head into your slightly dirty hands. More sobs escaped your mouth, your body shaking with every gasp you made. Ashton looked at you as you continued crying, his angry expression softening to worry.
“I’m sorry, was I not supposed to do that?” Ashton asked softly, his hand dropping to his waist as he watched you continue to cry. He immediately felt bad, walking to your side before sitting down. He didn’t know how to ease the pain you were experiencing, his large hand caringly dropping to your lower back. A few gentle pats grabbed your attention, immediately stopping you from crying. You lifted your head to look at him. The air felt tense as you looked back at him. In that moment, you felt safe. He noticed the way your face got rosy from crying, and the way your eyes glistened slightly from the tears in your eyes.
“Do you mind if I take a shower?” you asked, watching him. He stopped patting your lower back before nodding.
“Yeah, you can.” He said before standing up. Your wet cheeks dried as you followed him into the bathroom. The floor was made of pristine white tile, the walls a warm yellow color. Small stones made up the floor and walls of the shower.
“Everything should be in here,” Ashton said while pointing vaguely at the shower. You nodded in acknowledgement before Ashton left the bathroom, closing the large white door behind him.
After stepping into the shower, you basked in the warm water. Every oil and mud stain washed away with ease. More importantly, the warm water eased your sore muscles, releasing tension deliciously. A little happy sigh escaped your mouth, a physical manifestation of stress leaving your body.
You reluctantly turned off the water, your wet body immediately turning cold from the air conditioner. You walked out and wrapped yourself with a towel, careful not to get too much water on the tile. You looked around expectantly, realizing that you were left without a change of clothes. Mentally wincing, you walked to the bathroom door, poking your head out. You could see Ashton from the door, cooking something in the kitchen.
“Hey!” you lightly yelled out across from the bathroom. Ashton looked over to you, abandoning the pan on the stove.
“It seems that I forgot some clothes,” you said, trying to read Ashton’s facial expression.
“Yeah, I guess you’re going to have to wear some of mine,” Ashton thought out loud before walking to his bedroom. He pulled out the top drawer, taking out a black T shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants.
Once getting dressed, you looked at yourself in the mirror. Ashton’s black shirt covered you, the edge of the shirt going past your waist. His shorts ended below your knees. You were literally swimming in his clothes.
You walked out into the dining room. Ashton sat with a plate of food, his phone in his left hand as he was reading it. You sat down next to him, your wet hair pressing against your back as you leaned into the chair.
“Has Fiona responded to you?” You asked Ashton as he took a bite of his food.
“Yeah, she’s pissed as hell. I am, too,” Ashton said, mouth full of food. You looked down at the table. It was a dark cherry color. Some of the paint was chipped off in different parts, revealing white underneath.
“I’m sorry,” was all that you could manage out, guilt overcoming your body.
“What are you sorry for?” Ashton said, confused by your response.
“I’m sorry for throwing all of this on both of you,” you continued to look down at the damaged table. Ashton reached out an arm towards you, gently holding the shoulder closest to you. His hand immediately warmed your somewhat cold body from the shower, comforting you.
“You’re not burdening me. Hey, I’m glad you came here,” Ashton responded, a small smile on his lips. You looked up at him, smiling too.
A knock grabbed your attention. It was loud and irritating, one that made you wince in pain at the sheer volume. Ashton stood up from his chair to open the door. You didn’t look behind you, but you heard an exasperated, muffled female voice. You knew who that was.
“And who are you?” footsteps emerged from behind you. You turn your back to face Val. She wore tight jeans and a crop top. Her hair was up in a bun, and she had bright red lipstick that contrasted her pale skin.
“Nice to meet you, Val,” you began, trying to reach out to shake her hand. She looked at your hand before ignoring it, shifting her feet in annoyance.
“First of all, it's Valerie to you. Second, you didn’t answer my question,” Valerie responded. You drop your hand to your lap. You nervously picked at your finger nails, trying to find the words to respond to her.
“Hey, this is Y/N,” Ashton interjected, stepping between the two of you as if to serve as a barrier. Valerie rolled her eyes at Ashton.
“Well, what is she doing here?” Valerie asked Ashton. They spoke about you like you weren’t there, her voice a grating pitch.
“She’s just stopping by,” Ashton said defeatedly. He looked at you, his hazel eyes apologizing to you. You knew Ashton wasn’t at fault.
“Ok, well, you promised me that you would take me out today,” Valerie said. However, it sounded more like a command than a gentle reminder. Ashton took another glimpse at you before heading to another room in the house. Now you were stuck with Valerie, who stared you down as if you were the devil himself.
Ashton walked out with a plush white blanket in his arms, big enough that it nearly blocked his view. He gently placed it on the couch.
“Here, you can rest on the couch,” Ashton said next to the blanket. You walked over to the living room before taking a seat on the couch.
“Val and I have to run out for a minute,” Ashton informed you before walking towards the front door. Valerie stood next to him, a devilish grin on her face, as if saying He’s mine.
“Thank you,” you meekly responded before unraveling the blanket to cover your lower half. Ashton nodded in acknowledgement before softly closing the door.
You were absolutely exhausted from the events that occurred earlier today. The blanket smelled like Ashton, offering you another comfort. You closed your eyes, a soft sleep taking over.
Hello! I am a long-time lurker, recent poster, so I thought I would start by introducing myself and hopefully make some online friends!
ꕀ My name is Cait, but you can also call me Eggy
ꕀ 22 years old!
ꕀ Gemini!
ꕀ I go by she/her pronouns
ꕀ I have been a fan of 5SOS since 2015 (I learned about them through 1D)
ꕀ I am an Ashton and Calum girl
ꕀ My top 10 favorite 5SOS songs are:
ꕤCaramel
ꕤWaste the Night
ꕤBabylon
ꕤWildflower
ꕤGotta Get Out (specifically the unplugged version)
ꕤYou Don't Go to Parties
ꕤNo Shame
ꕤistillfeelthesame
ꕤGhost
ꕤOuter Space/Carry On
『 Can I just add that picking these 10 was literally so hard 』
ꕀ My favorite album is: 5SOS5 (though Everyone's A Star is a close second)
ꕀ My favorite solo work is: Order Chaos Order
ꕀ Music: 5SOS (obviously), Wallows, Beabadoobee, TV Girl, Laufey, Late Night Drive Home, Clairo
ꕀ TV Shows/Movies: The Good Place, Juno, Dinner in America, 13 Going on 30, She's The Man, Full House, Skins, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, The Summer I Turned Pretty
ꕀ Hobbies: I love writing, painting, sewing (I want to get into knitting), honestly, I'm just happy doing anything as long as I have my headphones and jamming out
Summary: a surprise has you questioning your life decisions
Pairing: Ashton Irwin x fem! Reader
Warnings: none
Word count: 2.7k
Note: hey so remember when I said in pt 4 that I was only going to add like at most 2 more parts? Yeah, I fear that will not be the case. Today’s chapter is a little shorter, have fun and see you in chapter 6!
Mentions: @ocexnhurricxne @ems-loves-5sos-11
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
Your tiny sobs filled the quiet apartment, echoing against the cream colored walls. Your makeup was absolutely ruined, mascara and blush melted down your cheeks. A soft knock captured your attention, making you raise your head to face the door.
Your legs and arms felt heavy, taking a momentous amount of energy to lift yourself off the couch. Goosebumps covered your shoulders as you managed to make your way to the front door. You twisted the golden knob to see Ashton standing at the door.
He wore a black leather jacket, a loose white T-shirt underneath, and a pair of black jeans. Ashton was slightly taken aback by your clashing aesthetics, your long beautiful dress contrasting with your smeared makeup. Loose strands of hair escaped your clip, standing out and poorly framing your face. All you could manage was a sniffle at his presence.
“Hey dude,” Ashton said softly. You looked down at his buff arms to see him holding a small white grocery bag. He awkwardly extended it to you to grab. The bag made a soft crinkle once you grasped it and opened it to see what was inside. You saw various small boxes of candy, packaged popcorn, and pop.
“They’re for our movie night tonight,” Ashton explained softly. You were slightly confused at his offer.
“You really don’t have to,” you reasoned to him, voice slightly cracking from crying earlier.
“I know I don’t have to do anything, but I also know that “13 Going on 30” makes you smile like an idiot,” Ashton explained, the side of his mouth turning upwards into a smile. He invited himself in, slightly turning his body to fit himself through the door frame. You passively let him in, watching him as he walked over to the kitchen.
“Hey, where are the glasses?” Ashton asked nonchalantly, opening and closing random cabinets and drawers.
You slowly shut the front door behind you before following him into the kitchen. Your two cats sat cautiously on their cat tree, watching him with intent and a little fear.
You knew he wasn’t going to let up, so you helped him, opening up the one cabinet he somehow hadn’t managed to sift through yet. You grabbed glasses for the both of you before grabbing ice and preparing the soda.
You helped Ashton set up the movie on your TV, hot popcorn sitting on your lap and opened candy boxes scattered around the coffee table, surrounding the vase Ashton bought you. Your shoulder was touching Ashton’s, his warmth radiating towards your body.
You felt an extreme comfort with Ashton next to you. Sure when you were upset, Zack knew what to say, but Ashton always knew what to do. When it came to your past friendship, he always carried through, never leaving you hanging.
Once the movie ended, you looked over at Ashton, who happened to be petting one of your cats. You absent mindedly smiled at the action, seeing how nurturing Ashton was.
You stood up to walk to the bathroom, catching a glimpse of the way your makeup dried. You had to do a double take in shock, not realizing that's how you had looked all night.
“You never told me my makeup looked like this,” you questioned while walking out of the bathroom towards Ashton. He looked up at you unknowingly before responding.
“It doesn’t matter. It's just me,” Ashton reasoned as he continued to pet the cat next to him.
“I looked terrible the entire night!” you slightly frowned, still looking towards Ashton.
“Well I thought you looked beautiful,” Ashton said absent mindedly, looking at you. Your face flushed a little bit at his comment, looking down at your feet. You didn’t know how to respond, caught up in the moment with your heart racing quickly.
Ashton, probably realizing what he said, nervously coughed as he stood up from the couch. He grabbed his leather coat that he had managed to discard a while back and made his way to the door.
“I think I should head out,” Ashton said as he made his way to the door. You nodded in response as you followed him to the door too.
“I had a lot of fun. Thank you,” you said to him, looking into his hazel eyes.
“No problem, really. This was a lot better than whatever was going on earlier,” Ashton informed you, letting out a little chuckle towards the end of his sentence.
“What was happening?” you asked, your head tilting slightly to the right in confusion.
“Val was doing some bullshit, taking shots off some guy’s abs,” Ashton said, shaking his head in disapproval.
“Why do you stay with her if she’s so bad?” You asked. You watched the way Ashton looked off into the distance, as if he were truly pondering the question you posed him.
“I don’t know,” was all that he was able to muster up, before looking back into your eyes.
“Why stay with him?” Ashton asked, trying to read your face as you tried to come up with an answer.
“He’s practical,” is all you could say to him.
“Well there you go,” Ashton answered back before turning around to open the front door.
“Bye, Y/N, I had a lot of fun tonight,” Ashton said softly before closing the door behind him. You walked up to the peep hole, watching as he walked off into the distance. You let out a sigh as you watched him leave.
Ashton served as a constant reminder of your discontent in your relationship. You never really realized how unhappy you were until Ashton pointed it out. In a way, it was worse to have Ashton with you. He served as slight reminders of how things should be. You didn’t necessarily want to date Ashton, but it sometimes made you wonder what it would be like if you weren’t in a relationship with Zack.
You slowly got yourself ready for the night, finally taking off your smudged makeup and putting on a pair of warm pajamas. Ashton’s question stuck in your mind. Why did you stay with Zack if he constantly hurt you? Why did you stay with him if he never made you feel loved?
You sat in your bed alone, Zack’s side empty as he stayed preoccupied with his nightly endeavors. Just like many nights before, you were so cold in the dark room. There was no life, no love, at least not in the way you perceived it. It made you question if Zack truly loved you.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
“We’re going hiking tomorrow,” Zack informed you nonchalantly. Your mind had been a little numb. Ashton’s question was still pulsing through your mind as the next couple of days passed. You felt like your whole world turned upside down. Was this really the way you wanted to live the rest of your life?
You nodded in agreement as you continued to fold your laundry. Your mind was somewhere else. Zack made his way towards your backside, gently wrapping his arms around you into a backhug.
“I love you so much,” Zack said, resting his head on your upper back.
“I love you, too,” you managed to choke out in response. Zack didn’t pick up the dullness in your voice, the first time you were glad he didn’t.
You continued to finish up your laundry before sitting on the couch to try to get some work done. However, you felt as if you were stuck, not able to move your fingers to get yourself to type. Everything was once again moving in slow motion.
A part of you was worried that you were leading Zack on. Your heart wasn’t in the relationship the same way it was a couple of weeks ago. But at the same time, you were too comfortable with Zack. Did you really need to leave him when everything else around you was so perfect?
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
You woke up early in the morning for Zack’s planned hiking trip. You wore a pair of athletic shorts, tight zip-up, and large hiking boots. Your hair was in a neat pony tail, nearly causing a headache. You were absolutely exhausted, partly because you had to wake up early, but also because your constantly racing mind prevented you from sleeping.
You sat in the passenger side of the car while Zack drove. He was always a morning person, in a chipper mood while you sat in the chair slouched, barely staying awake.
The hike itself wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Thick trees, small creeks, and the beautiful chirps of the nearby birds actually put you in a good mood. But the steep inclines that arrived every once in a while wore your thighs and lower back out. You were absolutely going to be sore the next morning.
Zack happily wandered ahead the entire hike, loudly talking some nonsense about the weather or the wind or whatever. You could barely hear him over your own breath as you struggled to keep up with his athletic body.
Your mind was too focused on surviving this dreaded hike that you barely noticed Zack had stopped off to the edge of the cliff. You stopped walking next to him, face slightly red and out of breath. There was a large waterfall in the distance, mist lightly spraying over the both of you, cooling down your sweltering body. Zack was slightly smiling, barely out of breath as he soaked in the beautiful view.
Zack turned to face you, right hand reaching in the back of his pocket as looked at you expectantly. You took ragged breaths as you stared at him, wondering what he was up to.
“Y/N, I think that these last two years have quite possibly been the best two years of my life.,” Zack started, a large smile on his face as he began to fully face you. Your large breaths turned into light wheezing, eyes immediately widening in realization at what Zack was doing. Zack kneeled on one knee, briskly taking out a black box from his back pocket.
“Will you marry me?” Zack asked expectantly. You stood frozen as you looked down at Zack. Your mind was racing. Suddenly, at 7 in the morning, you were forced to confront your problems in the middle of the woods. Nothing would come out of your mouth, no matter how hard you tried to answer.
You could see Zack’s excited expression start to falter a little bit at your hesitancy. He unconsciously lowered the box, still waiting for your answer. Everything, yet nothing was racing in your mind. At this moment, you were forced to lose everything you spent the last 2 years building. But, you knew that at the end of the day, you would never be happy with Zack. You began to shake your head, not brave enough to use your words.
“What?” Zack managed to whisper, his arms falling near the ground defeatedly. Your mouth began to open, forcing out a strangled “no.”
“Why?” Was all that Zack could say as he picked himself up.
“I’m sorry,” you responded, looking at the muddy ground, trying to avoid eye contact. You look back up at Zack, taking a deep breath before continuing.
“I don’t think I can marry you,” you said, slowly backing away from Zack. He stood paralyzed, watching you. He moved his head to look downwards, staring at his muddied shoes.
“Let me drive you home,” Zack whispered to you, quickly picking up his head towards you. You were slightly taken aback by his suggestion, yet you weren’t opposed much to the idea, the way your legs ached and the fact that you were about 50 miles from your apartment.
The car ride was excruciatingly awkward. *How do you sit in a car with someone you just said no to marrying? *You looked outside the window, leaning on the inside of your right arm as if you were shielding yourself from Zack. He didn’t seem overtly angry or disappointed, just sad. That hurt you a little bit, but you couldn’t force yourself to live with him for the rest of your life. Ashton had really opened your eyes
“You can move your stuff out within the next few days,” Zack broke the silence, staring outside the front window, focused on driving. You stayed with him because he was practical, now you’re reaping the consequences of it too.
The apartment was dark when the two of you walked in. You didn’t really know what to do or say, staring at your once comforting apartment. Zack immediately started rustling through a closet near the front door.
“Here, this should help,” Zack said coldly, handing various broken down cardboard boxes. You took it from him, frozen in slight confusion at his persistent coldness.
“Don’t make yourself the victim,” you blurted at him. He was on his way towards your once shared bedroom before he stopped in his tracks to look at you.
“I am the victim,” Zack stated. You shook your head in denial, letting out a slight chuckle.
“You really think you’re the victim? Jeez, for a doctor you’re not so smart are you?” you began, throwing the cardboard on the floor in anger. Zack had nothing to say, watching as the cardboard hit the wooden floor.
“You keep leaving me, letting me down, throwing me away like some doll,” you said through gritted teeth, slowly walking towards him.
“And I tried talking to you, you say everything is fine, but what happened a few days ago?” You threw your arms open widely. Zack watched your theatrics, face completely blank, as if saving face kept him superior. He stuffed his hands in his pocket.
“Oh, I see. God forbid I have other matters to tend to,” Zack finally managed to raise his voice at you.
“You still don’t get it do you?” You said bitterly, voice slightly more calmed as you slowly shook your head.
“Please enlighten me,” Zack sarcastically spat.
“You lied to me, constantly. You have no understanding of priorities, because no matter what happens, you throw away any sort of plans we have. I feel abandoned, Zack…all the time. How can I be your wife if I’m always on the back burner?” You finally released all your built up resentment. You slightly lost your breath, breathing heavily as you stared at him expectantly. Zack shook his head at your answer before strolling back into the room.
“Hey, don’t ignore me!” you quickly chased after him. He stopped at the foot of the bed before turning around once again.
“Please just leave,” Zack said as he pointed towards the front door.
“Wow, you really have nothing to say?” you mocked him. You turned around, grabbing your cardboard boxes before angrily opening the door.
“I’ll be back later,” you said before slamming the door behind you.
You had no idea where to go after your big fight with Zack. Adrenaline finally left your system as you were walking aimlessly around the city. You looked like an utter idiot the way you were walking around with large thin deconstructed cardboard in your hands. Luckily, no one really paid any attention to what you were doing.
Your legs still ached from the hike, filling every step you took with pain. You winced slightly, however you persevered, trying to find a nice place to rest your feet. You spotted a black bench in the middle of a sidewalk, taking a seat awkwardly with your cardboard, immediately feeling relief in your feet.
You didn’t want to call Fiona in that moment, not wanting to hear the end of how much of a good guy you lost by rejecting him. You pulled out your phone from your pocket, reaching for Ashton’s contact again. The line buzzed lightly before Ashton answered on the other line.
“What’s up?” Ashton said, a little too happy for your taste right now.
“He asked me to marry him,” you started, staring off at the people walking in front of you. Ashton didn’t immediately reply, waiting a moment.
“And what did you say?” he asked, unsure of what you were going to answer.
“I said no,” you said a little bluntly.
“Oh…” Ashton was a little taken aback by your answer, not knowing how to respond.
You were in total survival mode. You were thinking practically now, not caught up in the emotion of fully breaking up with Zack just yet. You let out a little huff, still thinking about all your possible options.
“I think I need a place to crash,” you finally said, hoping Ashton would agree.
Summary: Your relationship with Ashton suddenly gets a lot more personal
Parking: Ashton Irwin x fem! Reader
Wordcount: 3.4k
Warnings: slight mentions of past sexual relationships
Note: Again, thank you so much for the love on this series! I’m thinking about another part or two after this one, which means it's almost drawing to a close. Honestly, my second part wasn’t getting a lot of reception and I felt a little dissuaded from continuing this series, ending it after their big fight. Glad I didn’t and I’m glad you guys are enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it! I’d love to improve my writing, so please let me know if there are things that I can do better as a writer. Enjoy!
Mentions: @ocexnhurricxne
@ems-loves-5sos-11
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
You lay in bed, memories of the earlier conversation replaying in your head. Zack lay next to you, peacefully sleeping. You weren’t sure why you couldn’t sleep. This was one bad encounter; it wasn’t like you were going to see him again. Yet, the way he smirked at you, the way his curls bounced as he talked, and the way his body shielded you earlier that night kept you awake.
However, Ashton’s ambivalent attitude towards you also had your mind racing. I don’t care, replayed in your mind. You guys hadn’t spoken in years, and he’s taken, yet those words still stung in your chest.
You turned your head to look at Zach. He was facing you, pale skin standing out in the dark. His eyes were closed, lips barely turning upwards at the ends. There was nothing to be ashamed of, yet your heart hurt a little bit every time you looked at Zach. You didn’t cheat on him. Actually, the way you and Ashton fought that night was anything but. Yet, you felt guilty that there was still a little part of you that missed Ashton, even after years had passed.
You turned over to face away from Zack, staring at the white wall. It was nearing 5 AM, and you still couldn’t sleep. You let out a light sigh, frustrated that not one ounce of sleepiness had taken over your body. You quietly pulled the covers off and tiptoed to the kitchen. You felt a moment of relief once you were finally alone.
You walked over to one of the large windows in the living room. The night sky was this greyish, almost navy color. Milky white clouds decorated the sky, making up various shapes. You stared off into the distance, no thoughts clouding your mind anymore. Instead, you just felt a heavy weight on your chest. Even though you had only spoken to Ashton once, the feelings, scents, and memories came flooding back in an instant. He was a parasite.
The next morning moved on slower than usual. One reason was that you barely slept at all. Another explanation was because Ashton kept racing through your mind. It’s not like you wanted to see him, you couldn’t stand him at the moment. But another part of you needed a glimpse back into your old life. The way you both used to talk for hours, partying like no one cared. For the first time, you missed having Ashton next to you.
Maybe you were deluding yourself, but you tried to reason through your feelings. It’s not just Ashton you missed, you thought. Calum, Michael, and Luke were all missing puzzle pieces in your life. You missed all of them, you continued to reason. So why does your heart hurt every time you think of Ashton?
It was a Saturday afternoon. Zack was standing at the kitchen counter, various fruits and vegetables displayed as he attempted to cook. You sat on the couch, back facing him. The next few days were going by in a daze. Too slow, yet somehow everyone around you was moving too fast. The book resting in your arms was barely getting read, the way you aimlessly stared at the words.
“Is something bothering you?” Zack asked, quickly grabbing your attention. You closed the book in your hands before turning over on the couch, completely facing him.
“No, why?” You responded. Zack had a slightly worried expression on his face. Not buying your answer, he put his knife down before placing both hands on the counter, putting his full attention onto you.
“Don’t lie, I’ve noticed something’s up,” You shook your head, feigning innocence.
“I know what it is,” Zack said, wiping his hands on a nearby towel before making his way over to you. Your blood ran cold, fearing Zack had somehow found out your secret (yet not so sexy) encounter with Ashton.
“What?” you asked, trying to play cool. Zack sat next to you on the couch before enveloping your hands into his. His hands momentarily made you feel warm, but not safe.
“You’re still upset about what happened a few days ago. I promise I have it all sorted out. I didn’t forget!” Zack exclaimed excitedly before kissing your hands that rested in his. You were slightly choked up, completely forgetting about your plans that were meant to occur earlier in the week. That night only revolved around Ashton in your head. You let out a little sigh of relief before faking a smile at Zack.
As the sun was setting, you found it an apt time to make your way down the nearby park for a walk. Cold drink in hand and wired earbuds resting in your ears, you found yourself once again thinking about Ashton.
It was getting ridiculous at this point. Even you noticed the way you’d been acting. You felt like a lost puppy; you were physically there, yet your mind was preoccupied with someone else.
You looked both ways before crossing the street, noticing how busy the street was with large groups of people and bumper to bumper traffic. You glanced at a nearby cafe, seeing Ashton and Val sitting outside. At first, you thought your eyes were deceiving you. You have never seen Ashton out in public like this. Being a rockstar, he was always cautious of where he went and when. You immediately stopped in your tracks before changing direction, slowly making your way towards the two.
You weren’t going to interrupt them. That wouldn’t make any sense. You needed to stay hidden. You stood behind a tall bush, barely a few feet away from the couple. You couldn’t hear much between the two, it was almost as if they were posing rather than conversing. Ashton sat closer to you, his back facing the bush. He wore a vibrant orange button up shirt and random jeans. Val sat across from Ashton, her body nearly completely facing you.
She looked at her phone, scorn written on her face. Ashton sat drinking his coffee, staring off into the distance. For a couple, it seemed like they hated talking to each other.
After a few moments, Ashton began to slowly turn around, nearly seeing your face among the leaves in the bush. Acting quickly, you attempted to duck, nearly breaking your weak knees. Ashton turned back around to face Val before looking at his phone.
This is so stupid, you thought to yourself. You were spending your Saturday night stalking your ex-fling. How pathetic. Beginning to realize your insanity, you attempted to turn around and walk away while still squatting, hoping to avoid being seen. Once you turned the block, you straightened your back, joints slightly sore.
You made your way around the block again from the other side, trying to figure out where you were. It would be shameful to admit you got a little lost in your poor attempt to stalk Ashton.
You found yourself on the other side of the cafe, Ashton and Val now gone from their previous seats. You stood a little dumfounded before feeling a tap on your shoulder. You quickly turn around to see Ashton towering over you.
“Why are you stalking me?” Ashton asked, eyebrows lifted in confusion. You shook your head before answering.
“I wasn’t. I didn’t even know you were here,” you admitted, awkwardly shuffling your feet on the concrete.
“Yeah, you were, dumbass, I could hear your music blasting behind the bush,” Ashton said, a slight smirk playing on his lips as he lightly jostled your wired earphones still in your ears. Your face flushed in embarrassment. Guess you weren’t all that sneaky. You slowly tugged on the wires, the ear portion popping out of your ears before you wrapped them up.
“You’re lucky Val didn’t see you.” Ashton added as he watched you fold the wires together. You quickly glanced at Ashton at the comment before continuing to mess with your wires.
“And why would that be?” you asked once meeting his face again.
“Because she’s crazy,” Ashton explained, lowering his tone so no one would hear, yet passion still emphasised his words. You silently acknowledged his comment. Fiona had warned you the other night. Plus, the last thing you needed was another person knowing about your communication with Ashton.
“Here, let’s go over there.” Ashton pointed to a store behind you before slipping passed you. You followed behind him closely into the store. The air smelled stale, and the wood flooring was chipped. Various shelves displayed different colored glass and porcelain vases.
Ashton began browsing at the vases closest to his left. “I wanted to talk to you about the other night,” Ashton said nonchalantly as he continued to make his way throughout the store. You stood next to him, following his steps every time he moved.
“I was being a busybody, and I apologise for that,” Ashton informed you, letting out a light huff. You were slightly taken aback by his sincere apology, your mind rewiring upon hearing it.
“I accept.” you let out a sigh, unsure of how to respond.
Ashton glared at you knowingly, expecting something substantial in return. You let out a nervous cough before continuing.
“And I’m sorry for being rude, too,” you admitted. Ashton stopped walking to pick up a vase. It was a light pink color, translucent and slightly bumpy in texture. He inspected it thoroughly before setting it back on the shelf.
“I don’t know what came over me,” you said, laying your feelings out. Ashton stopped in his tracks once again to look at you.
“I guess I just like to bring out the worst in people,” Ashton half-joked as he continued to shop.
“No, it’s not like that,” you explained, eyebrows tightening in concern.
“Wait, do you really think that?” You placed your hand on Ashton’s shoulder. He jumped slightly at the touch before turning back to look at you. He never answered, but you saw the look of pain that glimmered in his eyes for a moment as you tried to read his face.
“I don’t know,” Ashton broke eye contact with you before looking at some other vases.
“Well it’s not, and I hope you know that,” you continued, a step behind him as he began walking away to another corner of the store.
“I appreciate it,” Ashton responded, though his voice sounded a little hollow. You placed your hands on his shoulders, his height nearly making them out of reach from you. You gently guided him to fully turn around and face you.
“Hey, I’m being serious. You don’t. Honestly, I think our fight the other night was just unresolved feelings from years ago. It was almost inevitable,” your voice softened as you spoke logically to him. You looked into his hazel eyes, trying to find some sort of acknowledgement of your sincerness.
“Thanks,” Ashton responded, this time more genuine. For the first time in a while, you felt content around Ashton. You didn’t harbour any bad feelings against him. It was different, like he was actually making a change.
Ashton was the first to break eye contact, swiftly turning around to look at the shelf next to him. He picked up a small royal blue vase. Little white and green tiles decorated the sides, almost like a mosaic. He inspected it thoroughly before wrapping it safely into his arms.
“I’m ready!” Ashton said with a toothy smile decorating his lips. Ashton went to the check-out counter, paying for the vase while the cashier wrapped it tightly in bubble wrap and placed it in a luxury shopping bag.
You made your way outside, needing a moment of fresh air. For once, you weren’t caught up in the semantics of your relationship with Ashton. Everything seemed crystal clear. Everything was going back to the way it used to be. All before you slept with Ashton years ago.
A small smile danced on your face as you looked out into the groups of various people walking along the street and sidewalk.
“Here you go,” Ashton said from behind you, handing you a burgundy red bag.
“What’s this?” you asked, grabbing it from his hands. You tilt your head downwards to peek into the bag.
“Oh, it's the vase…for you,” Ashton responded. You were slightly taken aback by his generosity.
“...it’s my apology, for what happened a few years back,” Ashton nervously explained. You lifted your head to look back at Ashton.
“Thanks!” you responded, holding the bag securely.
“Oh, and uh, about that guy who bails on you, I wouldn’t trust it. I really mean it,” Ashton said matter-of-factly, a genuine tone edging his last sentence. You believed him. You felt a sincerity from Ashton you didn’t even know about, not even when you partied with him all the time. Something in him clicked.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said, a small smile on your lips as you looked back at Ashton.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
“How was your walk?” Zack asked as you opened the front door to your apartment. You wore a huge grin on your face, the bulky red bag immediately grabbing Zack’s attention.
“Oh, I just bought a cute vase!” you said happily, placing the bag on the counter before grabbing the vase and unwrapping it. Zack walked over next to you, his hand supporting your lower back as you delicately handled the vase.
“Oh how beautiful,” Zack commented on the vase upon seeing it.
“I think it would fit wonderfully on the coffee table,” you added before turning around to gently place it on the wooden table. Zack let out a sound of agreement after seeing its place in the living room.
The vase now served as a reminder of your reconciliation with Ashton. Viewing it every now and again throughout the following days reminded you of how close you and Ashton used to be together. How inseparable you were. Everything was falling into its place.
Reaching closure with Ashton had finally put you in a good mood. The once slow moving world increased its speed. You felt a resurgence in yourself. Zack also noticed how energized and happy you were. He was not one to complain.
Zack sat in the living room, texting on his phone while you happened to fall asleep with your kitten, Mossy, on the couch. He sat texting Fiona. He stared lovingly into your peaceful face, excited for the plans that were soon about to unfold.
Zack spent a lot of time thinking about all the things you loved in life. Cats, daisies, the way sunlight diffracted into a rainbow…all the little things he deemed simple, you loved. He liked that you were able to find whimsy and love in the simplest things; that is what made you who you are.
The plan was simple: take you on a hike on a nearby mountain in a few days time. That's how he would propose to you. It would be something simple, nothing requiring extraordinary effort or time. He imagined the way the wind would blow in your hair, and your shocked expression as you would throw your hands up to your mouth while gasping loudly. He was confident in his plan because he knew that you both loved each other.
Though you were happy about your reconciliation with Ashton, his last few words to you stood out. Not in the way that would make your heart hurt, or draw stress upon you. No, it was almost peaceful, because you knew a part of him was right. Don’t trust a guy who bails on you.
Zack wasn’t a bad man. Far from it. But the way he meaninglessly threw away plans to his advantage was always something that left a sour taste in your mouth. Sure, once or twice in your nearly 2 years of dating made sense. But it wasn’t like that. You could easily count over 20 times he’d either forgotten or switched up plans within the last 3 months.
Though it always bothered you, it never made sense for you to break up with him over that. He seemed perfect in all other departments. Maybe I could just make an exception, you always reasoned to yourself. For Christ's sake, he was a doctor and a caring boyfriend. Was it really that bad at the end of the day?
So for 2 years, you stood there overlooking Zack’s major flaw. It had even stopped bothering you until Ashton pointed it out. And suddenly, your perspective shifted; every abandoned plan and lonely night became apparent in your eyes. He pretended to reason, promised new plans to make up for the old ones, only to abandon them later on as well. It was a constant cycle, a battle you had been ignoring.
You weren’t planning on breaking up with Zack. That would be too severe. No, you were going to handle this like adults. Talk to him, person to person. You stood in your shared bedroom, bed messily made as Zack was preoccupied organizing his personal belongings.
“Hey, we need to talk,” you informed, standing ominously behind him. Zack turned around to see you, your face serious.
“Sure,” he agreed, before taking a seat at the end of the bed. You quickly sat next to him, trying to think quickly about what to say.
“We need to make some changes in our relationship,” you blurted. Zack’s face grew serious at your point.
“I’m all ears,” Zack responded, fully facing his body towards yours to listen to what you’re going to say.
“I’m tired of being ignored. You can’t keep changing plans at the last minute. It makes me feel discarded,” you replied matter of factly. Zack nodded, understanding what you were explaining.
“Y’know, I’ve been thinking about this lately too, and I 100% agree with you,” he responded. A small weight was lifted off your shoulders hearing his acknowledgement. A small smile grew on your face as you hugged him happily. See, it was so simple, you thought, melting into his warmth.
Until it wasn’t so simple. You stared at Zack in bewilderment a few days later. The fancy steak dinner that had been sitting on your calendar for the past few days became an event of the past. Your eyes teared at the news, you found out 20 minutes before the both of you were supposed to leave. According to Zack, his friend was having relationship problems. You sat in your long sundress, hair tied up nicely in a claw clip, makeup nearly done before it was ruined by your tears.
You were cold in your apartment, the strapless dress not providing much coverage to your arms and upper back. You sat in the living room in darkness, open-toed heels sat next to your feet. At this moment, you felt so betrayed. You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, overlooked his flaws, and asked for changes. It was all ignored in the end. Ashton was right after all.
Not knowing what to do, you grabbed your phone to text Fiona. You typed furiously, sending out as many text messages as possible to get her attention. It all led to silence from her end. You shook your head in disappointment before opening your contacts list and clicking unblock. You immediately called the number, hearing it ring a couple of times before someone on the other end answered.
“Hello?” Ashton answered. There was some music playing in the background, some low voices chattering.
“Are you busy?” you sniffled. You tried your best not to bawl immediately again, your voice wavering a bit.
“No, not at all. What’s wrong?” Ashton’s voice was laced with worry.
“He did it again,” was all you mustered to say. However, Ashton knew immediately who you were talking about.
“You were right,” you admitted to him. Ashton’s voice immediately responded with a few shushing noises, trying to calm you down.
“Where are you?” Ashton asked, trying to get some information out of you.
“Just at home,” you sniffled in response, mascara starting to pool around your eyes.
“I’ll be right over,” Ashton informed before hanging up. You sniffled a little once he hung up. How is it that a man you refused to speak to a few weeks ago is suddenly coming to your aid?
Summary: after taking some time to improve yourself, you find yourself at the mercy of Ashton Irwin once again
Pairing: Ashton Irwin x fem! Reader
Warnings: none
Word count: 2.9k
Note: Y’all, this is a slow burnnnn! I’ll see you in part 4. Also, I wanted to say thank you so much for all the support in this series! It means a lot!
mentions: @ocexnhurricxne
Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
“How’s the wonderful almost fiancée?” Fiona asked joyfully, sitting next to you in a cafe. It had been almost 2 years since you spoke to Ashton Irwin. 2 years since you vowed never to look at or speak to that man again. It was a hot August day; the white linen set clung to your body, keeping you cool in the hot air. Your hair was tied up into a messy bun, brown sunglasses protecting your eyes from the bright sun.
“Stop it please. I’ve told you a million times, Zack is not going to propose.” You smiled at Fiona before taking a sip of your coffee. She looked back at you lovingly before taking a sip of your own. The both of you sat on a sage green couch, computer on your lap as you attempted to get some work done.
“Well that’s not what he told me last night!” Fiona teased, nudging you excitedly on the couch. The force was almost too much, nearly spilling your overpriced drink.
“Hey, watch it!” you said, trying to balance the drink in your hand.
“Anyway speaking of relationships, you and Calum, huh? Took him long enough.” you stated, looking back at a now flustered Fiona.
“Hey well look at this, my friend works at the jewelry shop…she said that this thing is no joke. Huh, I love my rich fiance.” FIona responded back, pondering on the joys of being a fiance to a rockstar. The diamond on her finger was massive, a shiny clear oval which nearly blinded half of the people in the restaurant.
Calum and Fiona got together soon after your major fight with Ashton. Which at that point was hard to handle, considering you vowed to never see Ashton again. But Fiona was good at becoming a barrier between the both of you, never leaving your side nor inviting Ashton to any parties or get-togethers.
Sure, that hurt the rest of the boys. However, Fiona knew how to talk to them, negotiating. From what Fiona said, Ash didn’t even want to join anyway. You didn’t really know how to read that, nor did you care anyway. It didn’t matter, because at that point you wanted to erase any trace of him. Everything reminded you of him, bars, string lights, and leather jackets. You were quick to let go of those memories and everything that triggered them.
You met Zack at a wine tasting event that Fiona dragged you to. An accidental bump into your dark red wine started it all. Zack was a doctor, a safe option. Your days were filled with romantic walks in the park, sensible dinners, and movie nights. He was a comfort that you didn’t know you needed.
“Anyway I have to wrap this thing up soon, Calum’s got some fun plans for us later tonight. If you want, you should come.” Fiona said before packing up her back. You looked back at her after typing furiously on your laptop.
“Probably not, I got plans with Zack too.” You informed Fiona.
“He better be proposing.” Fiona deadpanned before waving goodbye to you. You sit in the coffee shop for a couple more hours before finally heading back to your shared apartment.
It was a nice 2 bedroom, more than enough space for the both of you, plus 2 cats of course. Most of the furniture was a soft cream color, with splashes of blues and greens to complement it. Large windows made up most of the wall space, especially in the living room. Everything was bright and organized, just how you expected your lives to be together.
“Hey sweetheart.” Zack called to you as you walked through the front door. He sat at his computer desk, grey shirt and khaki pants on.
“Hello!” you greeted, setting your bags down on the counter. Your grey cat, Pebble, happily walked over to you, rubbing his head against your ankles. You smiled down at him before making your way towards Zack.
“How’s the lovely Princess Fiona?” Zack asked, looking at you as you sat on his lap. You gave him a quick peck on the cheek before answering.
“Fiona’s fine, apparently she and Calum are having a little get together tonight. I told her we couldn’t go because of our plans tonight.” you happily responded, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.
“Oh shoot babe. I completely forgot but there’s been a change of plans. I have a last minute shift at the hospital. “ Zack regretfully informed you. You sunk your head low in slight disappointment.
“Ugh but this is the first time we’ve actually had time together in a while. I was really looking forward to tonight.” you explained sadly to him, pouting while looking into his face.
“I know sweetie. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Zack said, looking into your sad eyes. Zack somehow always found an opportunity to let you down. Even though Zack was safe, he always had something else to do. Whether it be work or family, somehow you were always the last option. Trying to hide your disappointment, you lifted yourself off Zack’s lap and made your way towards your shared bedroom.
Once Zack left to go to work that night, the apartment felt dark and lonesome. Usually, you wasted time by watching whatever was on the TV or playing with the cats. Tonight however, you were hung up on the plans that could have been.
You sit in your shared bed, a darkness engulfing the room. Your phone served as the only light source illuminating your face as looked on Instagram. Fiona’s text message suddenly caught your attention. You sit up from the bed before opening it.
Fiona: Hey Lovelyy
Fiona: Ik you said you had plans tonite but i just wanted to extend the invitation out one more time
Suddenly, you knew what you were doing for the rest of the night. You sent a quick text back to Fiona, confirming your presence at the party. Quickly getting dressed, you put on a simple black backless sundress and low-heeled sandals.
“Hey Cutie!” Fiona greeted you, drink in hand. She had a small blue dress on with Calum walking behind her.
“Hey, long time no see.” you jokingly said to Fiona before waving at Calum. He shook his head before coming in for a hug, his broad body up against your small frame.
“Hey congrats on the engagement.” You told Calum once breaking away from the hug.
“Yeah thanks.” Calum said nonchalantly. You and Fiona walked together side by side, taking in the party. White paper lanterns hung low, illuminating their backyard. The party was filled with various random people, dark green bushes, tall grass, and flowers decorated their backyard beautifully.
“So don’t freak out…but I totally forgot that I invited Ashton.” Fiona suddenly turns to you, a slight fear written all over her face. You immediately felt anxious, and a bit annoyed at Fiona.
“Dude, you know-!” you frustratedly reminded Fiona.
“I know, I know.” Fiona cautiously said, putting her hands out to calm you down.
“Look, all you have to do is avoid him. He probably has his own girl with him anyway.” Fiona reasoned, grabbing your hands as you tried to avoid eye contact with her.
“Ok fine.” You conceded before cracking a small smile at her.
“Thanks.” Fiona replied before dragging you to some other friend group at the party. Low rock music played in the background as you made small talk to the other people in the group. For the first half hour, you actually forgot about Ashton’s existence, until you heard a bunch of people calling his name in the distance.
You couldn’t help but look over to the side. He stood in a black suit, red tie standing out in contrast. He looked different. Buffer body, a slight beard, and his typical short curly hair. He carried himself with a different type of confidence. Next to him was a tall woman, bleached platinum blonde hair. She wore a small black dress, bright red lipstick contrasting her pale face.
“Wow, looks like his type hasn’t changed at all.” you leaned towards Fiona, not breaking eye contact with Ashton’s girl. Fiona quickly followed your gaze before responding.
“Oh yeah, she's a peach!” Fiona responded sarcastically before looking at the ground.
“I never really got a chance to talk to her, but let's just say she has some issues.” Fiona said, before sipping her drink.
“Oh so she’s staying?” you clarified, pointing at Fiona.
“Unfortunately, they’ve been together for almost a year.” You nodded your head in acknowledgement. You were slightly surprised that Ashton could attempt a long term relationship. Maybe you weren’t the only one who had changed in these two years.
You quickly glanced back at Ashton, realizing he was making his way towards your group. Silently freaking out, you tried to quickly fix your hair that lay on the sides of your shoulders, struggling slightly because of the drink in your hand.
“Hey guys what’s up?” Ashton suddenly loudly exclaimed, scaring you slightly. A bunch of people surrounding you greeted Ashton with various high-fives and hellos . You awkwardly stood to the side, trying to hide behind Fiona as much as possible. His girlfriend stood behind him, his tall height nearly shielding her from his friends. It didn’t seem to bother her though, the way she impatiently picked at her red manicure as if Fiona’s party crashed her plans.
“Maybe I should slip out.” You suggest to Fiona. She nodded in agreement, before following you as you tried to escape Ashton. The both of you landed at the snack table, quickly replenishing your drinks while the both of you awkwardly waited.
“Not to like not be a girl’s girl, but I think you walking away mid-conversation in the most conspicuous way possible is probably the worst thing to do,” Fiona informed. You nervously picked at some random chips and fruit on the table, not exactly sure how to respond.
“I just didn’t want to talk to him. I don’t think I’m ready.” You hesitantly responded.
“Ready for what? You’re a hot rich girlboss who is basically engaged…to a doctor might I add. I think out of any of us you’re the one who has it the best.” Fiona hyped you up. You smiled at her response before shoving a grape in your mouth.
“Yeah, I guess I am kinda cool.” you jokingly responded, now showing a complete toothy smile at Fiona. You and Fiona were caught up in a conversation, completely forgetting about Ashton.
The night was drawing to a close, people slowly leaving. You sat next to Fiona in random lawn chairs in the backyard, slightly drunk from your 5th drink. Mostly everyone had left except for Calum, Luke, and Michael who were all conversing together. Ashton stood in the corner of the backyard fence, getting into a small screaming match with his girlfriend.
“Hey, I think I’m going to call it.” You tell Fiona, a strong drowsiness starting to envelop your body. Fiona sleepily nodded before you attempted to stand up, quickly losing balance. As you tried to catch yourself, Ashton’s girlfriend speed walked beside you, nearly knocking you over back into your chair. Ashton, still standing in the corner, seemed to take notice.
After regaining your balance, you slowly stumbled your way towards Fiona’s backyard fence. Ashton watched as you struggled to open the latch.
“Here, I got it.” A deep voice emerged behind you. You slowly turned to see Ashton behind you, his broad chest nearly up against your back as his long arms wrapped in front of you, briskly unlocking the latch. You stared at Ashton, bewildered by his close presence. Your face flushed, not entirely sure if it was from the alcohol or Ashton himself.
You were too dumbfounded to respond, letting out a slightly slurred “Thanks” before quickly turning around and opening the gate. You tried to walk away as quickly as your tipsy legs allowed.
“Guess you were always a light weight.” You heard Ashton call from behind you as you made your way down the sidewalk. You stop in your tracks, before turning around to meet Ashton’s face for the third time that night. Though he was older and buffer, something in his face changed. It wasn’t the same arrogance that he had years ago.
“I guess some things never change.” you respond. His eyebrows suddenly connected in confusion as he tried to read you.
“Speaking of change, I heard you’re engaged,” Ashton said, trying to change the subject. He dug his hands into his pockets uncomfortably.
“Well, not entirely…” You awkwardly responded, avoiding eye contact. Ashton’s face slightly lit up at the news.
“Oh?” was all he could muster out, completely surprised. There was another long awkward pause before you responded.
“And your girlfriend…” you began to trail off, realizing mid sentence you didn’t know his girlfriend’s name.
“Val.” Ashton filled in the blank. You let out a small agreement before continuing.
“Oh Val, she seems cool. That fight a moment ago was something,” you started to awkwardly respond again. Your face flustered again, this time you were certain it was out of embarrassment. Where was the girlboss Fiona told you about earlier?
“Yeah she’s definitely something.” you could tell you struck a nerve with Ashton. Now it was his turn to avoid eye contact with you.
“Well, I’m gonna walk home now.” you finally said, pointing behind yourself into the dark neighborhood. You slowly pivoted on your heel, making your way down the sidewalk once more.
“Wait! At least let me drive you.” Ashton called from a slight distance, once again stopping you from your tracks. You regrettably turned around, looking at Ashton once more. Even though you didn’t want to ride in Ashton’s car, you didn’t really want to walk alone and tipsy in a dark neighborhood either.
“What about your girlfriend?’ you asked.
“Oh um she left already because of the fight,” Ashton said, uncomfortably scratching the back of his head.
“Ok fine.” you reluctantly agreed before walking towards Ashton.
“Oh um actually my car is over there.” Ashton said, pointing in the direction you were initially walking in.
“Oh yeah right.” you turned around once again before walking towards his car. Ashton trailed behind you, attempting to hide a small smirk that grew on his lips.
Riding in Ashton’s car reminded you of In N Out runs and late-night talks. For the most part, the car stayed dark except for the small touchscreen that slightly illuminated the side of Ashton’s face. The car sat in silence, something you would not have expected from Ashton.
“So how’s life?” Ashton broke the silence. He quickly glanced at you, your attention on the passenger window.
“Umm good, just kinda laying low.” was all that you managed in a response, keeping it intentionally vague. You looked to your left to see Ashton’s clear focus on driving.
“How ‘bout you?” you asked back. Ashton squinted his eyes in thought before responding, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.
“Different.” You were slightly shocked at Ashton’s serious response. This was not the happy-go-lucky candle-bringing guy. You finally shifted your position in your seat, now almost facing him completely.
“Guess some things do change,” you tried to jokingly respond. Ashton didn’t crack a smile; instead, he continued to look deep in thought. Your small smile immediately disappeared from your face. You nervously cleared your throat to break the silence.
“I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.” Ashton said, ignoring your comment.
“Yeah, well plans changed tonight. I promise this is not going to be a regular thing.” you admitted blatantly, pushing your strands of hair behind your ears.
“What plans?” Ashton asked without skipping a beat. You didn’t respond to him. Clearly, your plans weren’t his business to begin with.
“Oh don’t tell me Mr. Almost Fiance backed out on plans!” Ashton began to slightly raise his voice. You rolled your eyes at Ashton.
“Why are you getting into my business?” You defended yourself quickly.
“I’m not…I’m just saying I find it crazy how you’re thinking of marrying someone who bails on you.” Ashton kept his gaze on the cars in front of him.
“Well this time it was important, he had work.” You tried to reason with Ashton.
“Oh this time he had work. Ok, I see how it is.” Ashton rudely commented, almost in a mocking way.
“And why do you seem to care so much?” you sassily responded at Ashton, fed up with his probing. For the first time this night, Ashton found himself in a position where he couldn’t respond.
“I don’t care.” Ashton choked out, almost as if it hurt him to say it. Though you knew it, finally hearing it from Ashton broke your heart a little bit. The rest of the car ride was silent. He pulled up to the side of the road where your apartment was. You looked out to see your apartment illuminated.
“Oh look! Looks like my fiance is home. Goodnight Ashton Irwin.” You deadpanned, hastily opening the door and walking out.
“Almost fiancée.” Ashton deadpanned back, hurting your heart at the realization. By the time you slammed his car door shut, he sped away, leaving you alone in the dark streets.
You let out a huff in frustration as you made your way to the front doors of your apartment building. Ashton was infuriating, and that definitely still hadn't changed. You didn’t understand why he was getting into your personal business so much. The one night you thought you could relax, Ashton came and fucked it up all over again.
Summary: On a cold winter night, you and calum find solace in each other
Pairing: Calum Hood x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Smut, drunk/messy sex, yearning calum, oral sex (both receiving), unprotected sex, storyline is a little depressing MDNI 18+
Wordcount: 2.3k
Note: the storyline and events that occur are fictional. They do not represent real-life people, such as Calum Hood or 5 Seconds of Summer.
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“Do you believe in true love?” you looked at your friend, calum. The both of you sat on your rooftop, lit cigarettes in hand. It was 10:49 PM on a December night, your nose a rosey color. Your hands felt cold, and your fuzzy slippers that sat on your feet weren’t doing you many favors. You stared off into the night sky, stars illuminating the vast darkness.
“No, not really.” calum responded before taking a puff of his cigarette. His knees sat right up against his chest, cargo pants and hoodie loosely fitting his body. You looked right at him as he answered, black hair disappearing into the night sky behind him.
“Why?” you asked, trying to figure him out. You took another puff before smashing the butt into one of the shingles of the rooftop, adding another to the group of marks made before. calum continued to look out before answering, a white breath escaping from his mouth.
“Because I’ve spent 30 years on this planet searching for it.” calum responded calmly, still refusing to look into your eyes. You and calum became friends in high school, the outcasts of the grade. You spent your formative years drinking and smoking every substance you could together. However, years pass and the both of you still sit in the same town you both once called home.
Now, it didn’t really seem like home anymore. Your family left town without you. Not that you really wanted to leave anyway. This place was safe, too safe. calum stayed because he was stuck in life. Now 30 years old, he still worked the same job he had 11 years ago as a cashier at a random fast food restaurant.
Once the cigarette was out, you lay down on the uneven tiles behind you, the pointy part slightly digging into your head uncomfortably. Still, it was better to feel pain than nothing at all.
“I like to think there’s true love.” you responded a moment later. That caught calum off guard, looking at your reclining figure. He noticed the way your waist slightly curved inwards and the way your shirt slightly bunched up, revealing your stomach and shiny naval piercing.
“Why?” calum asked, exhaling another cloud of smoke from his mouth.
“Because then life wouldn’t have meaning” you responded, eyes closed. You let out a sigh of relaxation before throwing your arms above your head to stretch.
“Your life has meaning…I mean other than finding love.” calum was quick to respond before smashing his cigarette on the shingles as well. He lay beside you, the smell of smoke enveloping the two of you.
“You have an amazing friend, and we get to hang out every day.” calum reasoned, playfully nudging your shoulder closest to him. You slightly smiled at his response. You turn your head to face calum, soft pink lips catching your eyes.
“If my life is so great, how come I feel so alone?” you asked calum, your true insecurities coming out. His eyes also drifted towards your light pink lips, unconsciously licking his own. calum wasn’t really sure how to respond to your question.
“Do you really feel alone?” calum managed to let out. The thought of you in so much despair made him question everything…everything with you.
“Do you think I’m holding you back?” calum asked again.
“No, it's not like that.” you were quick to defend yourself, now completely turning your body towards his. The both of you drifted into an awkward silence.
“How about this, it’s only like 11:00 PM, we can hit the bar, go out, do whatever you want. Right now.” calum suddenly sat up.
“calum, I have work tomorrow.” you responded sadly, looking up at him.
“Who cares about work? You hate that place anyway. Your co-worker is a literal pervert.” calum reasoned, throwing his arms up. He extended his arm out, palm facing you to grab. You reluctantly grabbed it, pulling yourself up to sit next to him.
“Come on, let's go do something.” calum said standing up. The both of you cautiously walked against the slope of your rooftop, throwing your legs into the window of your bedroom. Your bedroom lamp was still softly illuminated. You could see your red unmade plaid comforter, barely sticking posters that attempted to hang on the wall, and various piles of clothes on the floor. calum followed behind you, his tall height making it hard for him to fit through the window.
“Well plan boy, where do we go now?” you looked at calum expectantly. He looked around awkwardly, trying to think about what to do.
“Well…I think our first task is to get plastered.” calum answered before making his way down the stairs. You followed after him, wondering where he was going.
“We need to pregame first and then we should hit the bar down the street.” calum explained, throwing various bottles of alcohol from the cabinets onto your kitchen island. He then suddenly picked up a random bottle of tequila, haphazardly pouring it in a random cup before handing it to you.
“Shouldn’t I have some sort of mixer in this?” you asked, looking at the clear liquid.
“Well, do you have some?” calum responded. You shook your head before taking a sip from the cup. The taste was extremely bitter and dried up your throat, making you cough. A few moments after, calum also took a sip from his drink, making a sour face at its taste.
“Now the second task, let’s put on some cool vibes.” calum responded excitedly before running to turn off any overhead lights. He turned on the old stereo sitting on your fireplace mantle, plugging his phone in before playing some music. The two of you continued to sip from your mugs which honestly contained way too much tequila.
The strong alcohol started to make you tipsy only after a few sips, head hanging low as you started to move to the beat. Calum loudly started singing the lyrics, dancing alongside you as well.
After a few songs played, you really started to feel drunk, getting more wild, both of you screaming nonsense together. You placed your empty cup on the kitchen island before making your way towards calum. Either the alcohol was making you see things, or you suddenly just noticed how cute he looked. His face was slightly flushed from dancing and drinking. For a drunk person his vocals were pretty good.
Whatever part of your brain was used for good decisions must have been completely obliterated by the alcohol. You made your way towards calum who happened to be caught in the moment dancing. You grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you before you kissed him on the lips.
calum, slow from the alcohol in his system, grabbed your face without hesitation, steadying himself as he reciprocated the kiss. His tall stature over your body lead the both of you to lean backwards. Not wanting to separate from calum, you managed to steady your footing before slowly walking backwards into the kitchen. Your butt hit the edge of the granite island, causing you to let out a little moan in pain.
Once hearing your moan, calum’s hands momentarily left your cheeks, grabbing the back of your thighs to lift your body on the surface of the counter. Now having more space, he nuzzled his body in between your now open legs. Your breathing became more heavy, hard to keep up with how fast the both of you were sloppily kissing, spit and drool mixing together on each other’s faces. You suddenly pushed your body back, causing calum to look at you in worry.
“What’s wrong?” calum asked, eyes big with worry. You took a moment to catch your breath while looking at him.
“Nothing…this is just perfect” you responded when you had enough air, forcing your lips back onto his. The both of you smiled into your kisses together. Your arms moved from his face to his neck and then towards his broad back. You felt his strong muscles flex once he started moving his arms around your body too, grabbing and lightly fondling your clothed breasts. You let out another small moan as he continued.
“Do you want to continue?” calum asked, softly breaking from your face.
“Yes, I would like that.” you responded back, lightly biting your bottom lip before going back to kiss him. calum hurriedly reattached his lips to yours while attempting to take your shirt off. Throwing it somewhere in the kitchen, calum immediately placed his hands on your breasts, lightly pinching your hard nipples. Muffled moans kept spilling from your mouth. You attempted the same, trying to get his sweatshirt off as well.
While kissing him, you managed to unbutton his pants, and they fell to the floor around his feet. You guided calum back, immediately dropping to your knees in front of his crotch. You saw how hard he was, his dick struggling to break free from his underwear.
“Please” calum begged. You gently grabbed the waistband, pulling it down into the floor. His dick sprang free in front of your face.
You grabbed the base of his dick, gently guiding into his watering mouth. He immediately let out a little groan at how soft and warm your mouth was. You started quickening your pace, bobbing back and forth on his dick. calum’s hands were aimlessly grabbing at your long locks of hair, easily tangling between his finger tips.
“Please, I want more” calum softly begged, slightly tugging at the roots of your hair. You started picking up your pace, hands wrapping around his waist to steady your movements. You knees are aching and red from the hardness of the wooden floor below you.
“Hmmmm, I'm going to cum.” calum said gently, hips stuttering at the pleasure he was experiencing. You slowed down, teasing him a bit. He responded in a soft whine, still taking whatever little pleasure you gave him.
“Please, I just want to fuck you.” calum suddenly said, looking down into your wide eyes. You kissed his dick, then struggled to rise to your feet, knees quivering. You took calum’s forearm to guide him to your wrinkled dark brown leather couch in the dark living room.
calum sat down, long legs spread wide. He guided your hips towards his crotch, strandling his waist. You looked down to see his dick sitting at the entrance of your vagina. After spitting on his fingers, he gently rubbed your clit, preparing you to take him in. Once a few soft moans had left your mouth, he grabbed his member before you slid yourself down it. You immediately threw your head back in pleasure before slowly lifting yourself up and down on him.
calum’s hands never left your waist, helping you set the pace. The house was filled with a ballad of low indie music and your soft moans. The two of you moved in sync together, focusing on nothing but the pleasure coursing through your veins. This was a moment of pure ecstasy between friends, nothing short of unconditional love.
calum’s hands unconsciously guided your hips faster, increasing the pleasure for both of you. “I’m gonna cum.” calum whispered into your neck, resting there due to the amount of pleasure he was experiencing. You continued your pace, feeling too good to continue teasing him. Suddenly, his white semen spilled into you, warmth overtaking every aspect of your body. He continued to gasp and moan into your neck, his hot breath slightly overwhelming you.
“It’s my turn now,” calum gruffly said, picking you up before laying you down on your back on the couch. Your legs stayed spread, his semen starting to leak from you. His mouth was drawn to your clit like a magnet, hungrily licking at it.
The pleasure overwhelmed you, as you immediately arched your back. Now, slightly louder moans were spilling from you while your fingers tangled into his thick black hair. He reached his hand towards your chest, lightly massaging your boobs without relenting on your clit.
“Just like that.” you urged him on, so close to orgasm. Your overstimulation made it all the better, sharp pleasure coursing through your body. Your legs shook vigorously as you came, his white cum bubbling out of you. calum continued to lap up the mixture of your releases before straightening his back.
The both of you were tired and hot, skin sticking painfully to the leather couch. Calum rushed to your kitchen, grabbing the first rag he could find before making his way towards you. After attempting to gently separate your legs from the couch, he caringly wiped up his leftover cum that had gotten on your thighs. After throwing the rag somewhere behind him, he picked up your arms, guiding you up the stairs into your bedroom.
“Please go take a shower” calum told you, turning on the water in the tub before making his way downstairs. Shakily, you waited for the hot water to fill the tub. As you were soaking your body, calum stayed downstairs, slowly throwing away empty alcohol bottles and other random trash on the floor.
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You lay in your bed naked, calum wrapping his large muscular arms around you.
“I think I change my mind,” calum said, breaking the silence. Your eyes opened, turning to look at him. He was looking directly at you, a small smile sitting on his lips.
“What?” you responded, confused due to his interruption. He moved his hand to your face, organizing the random strands of hair.
“I think I do believe in love.” he clarified, still looking deeply into you. You inadvertently avoided eye contact with him, slightly flustered at his frankness. calum's heart was beating rapidly, you could feel it against your body.
“I think I found my life’s meaning too” you admitted, finally meeting calum’s face. He slightly smiled at you before bringing you in for a tighter cuddle. He lightly pecked your forehead before drifting off to sleep.
