[eggofchaos]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* likes/follows from this blog *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

she/they, femme dyke clown

other blogs: @soulmilks (side that realistically should be my main) & the other you might be able to see if you ask nicely (nsfw- must have age in bio <3)

** pls DNI ur a cishet man or terf i simply do not want to see/hear it

otherwise pls interact <33

[sergal]

everyone shut da fuck up this is the only thing that matters

[probuccalfat]

every time a young gay person quits smoking or makes the decision that they want to quit, the sun shines on us all with the promise of happiness and beauty.

[probuccalfat]

i appreciate everybody that’s sharing the sentiment that it’s good for anyone to quit smoking (it is) but i very specifically wanted to highlight and encourage LGBTQ youth because lesbian, gay, and bisexual people are about 1.5 to 2.5 times more likely to smoke cigarettes than heterosexual people, and the statistics for transgender people are even higher than cisgender people. this is due to tobacco companies marketing heavily and aggressively to LGBTQ communities and exploiting the higher rates of mental health struggles prevalent in our communities.

i want and hope to see all my LGTBQ people live long, healthy, fulfilled lives despite how predatory and punishing this world can be. you should stay around as long as you can to make it a little better in your own way.

[this-is-trans-joy]

I wanna specifically shoutout trans men here because back in the day (I don’t know if it’s still prevalent) there was quite a common rumour going around that smoking could make your voice deeper, which meant a huge upstick in young trans men taking up smoking.

So, if any trans men are being told about this, it’s not true!! Smoking will not change your voice, at least not until you’re about forty years down the line and you’ve already irreparably destroyed your lungs and throat and mouth and pretty much every other organ in your body. When you hear heavy smokers with deeper, scratchier voices it is literally because their vocal cords have been ruined. This is not a passive effect of smoking, it is a very very damaging one!

It’s simply not worth it! There will be no meaningful changes except terrible ones. Voice training will do a lot more for you than cigarettes will, I promise that the people urging you to start smoking as a voice training method do not have your best interests at heart!

(And you know what, this also goes for not eating due to the idea that starving yourself will decrease your chest size. Like with smoking, there will be no meaningful changes except terrible ones. Your body is worth so much more than that and there will always be healthier alternatives!)

I wanna see trans people thrive, and one day when things get better and you’re able to start your transition, you’ll want a body that will last as long as possible so you can enjoy every little moment of your life. Please take care of yourself!!

[ob-2-kenobi]

As for trans women and other trans people taking estrogen HRT, smoking has been proven to reduce or even cancel out the effects of estrogen on the body. If you quit smoking, your transition will be faster, fuller, and smoother. I know that it's hard, but your boobs will thank you!

(Btw, afaik smoking only has this effect on estrogen from HRT. Estrogen that AFAB bodies produce naturally is not affected, so smoking is still bad for trans men)

In addition (and this applies to all trans people), smoking increases risks of complications during surgery, so doctors might refuse to let you get whatever surgeries you want if you smoke. They'll at least tell you to quit for a while beforehand, which will be easier to do if you'd already quit to begin with.

[imjunebitch]

when we "lose" a cis butch woman because he becomes a trans man or masc you should actually say such things as yay, yippee, or hooray.

[imjunebitch]

i identified as a butch for a bit! I changed my mind because in my case it was me trying to avoid wanting to be something I wasn't sure I COULD be! did you "lose" something when I, a trans woman, decided to present more femme?

[imjunebitch]

if every cis butch woman in the world became a trans man right now, that would be an unambiguously, inarguably good and positive thing, because that would be people choosing to live the lives they wanted as the kinds of people they wanted to be, end of statement. personal autonomy isn't something to bitch over!

[lakevida]

press the teleport button to come over to my house and eat a bagel on the porch with me rightnow and you will earn 5 gems

[ceruleanheaven]

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

[ceruleanheaven]

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

[ceruleanheaven]

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

[becrueltome-causeimafoolforyou]

When the sad song you put on makes you feel worse

[bbcsherlock]

i dont understand people who never reread a book or rewatch a movie or series. the best art will always improve upon being revisited. girl. let it reveal more of itself to you.

[mollyjames]

The knight is doing her best to fend off the bandit ambush, so if the princess could please stop flashing her tits because it's "funny to distract her", that would be greatly appreciated

[eggofchaos]

apparently i need to reshape my erotic energy into curiosity for the universe, or whatever 🙄

[calware]

[luguuuu]

[lizlemondyke]

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around

[speedlimit15]

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

[speedlimit15]

Of all the tags on this post this is the one that worries me most

[kiefbowl]

the most important virtues for the young woman are as follows: time theft, selfishness, orgasms, irreverence to authority, sacrilegious behavior, a questioning mind, and eating regular meals.

[ooppo]

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

[northstareclipse]

Springing off of my addiction post once more, I am also skeptical at best of 12-step programs, because their framework has just never remotely aligned with my actual experience.

The substance I was addicted to was heroin. While I was actively addicted, it absolutely came before everything else. My life shrank around it. I kept using despite very real, very obvious negative consequences. If you’re looking for something that fits the “compulsion + harm + loss of control” model, that was it.

But what’s always sat strangely with me is what happened when that context changed.

Once my abusive relationship ended and I was no longer in an environment where it was readily available, it was shockingly easy to stop. I’m not saying it was physically comfortable. My body was pretty pissed off for a while. But psychologically, it just didn’t have the same hold anymore. I wasn’t spending my days white-knuckling cravings or constantly thinking about it. It dropped out of my life in a way that, according to the 12-step model, is not really supposed to happen.

And that’s where my issue with that framework starts.

Because 12-step ideology tends to assume that if you have ever had that kind of relationship with one substance, it reveals something fundamental and permanent about you. That you now have a generalized “addictive nature” that will attach itself to other substances or behaviors if you’re not constantly managing it. That you are, in some essential way, always on the verge of transferring that pattern onto something else.

And that just hasn’t been true for me.

I was a near-daily cannabis user for years. When it started consistently making me feel physically uncomfortable instead of good, I stopped. No drawn-out battle, no existential crisis, just “this isn’t giving me what I liked about it anymore” and I moved on.

I drink occasionally, in social or celebratory contexts, and I genuinely find alcohol kind of boring outside of that. It doesn’t have much pull for me.

I tried gambling once, got annoyed at how tedious and overstimulating it felt, and left the casino in under an hour. I have not felt remotely compelled to revisit that experience.

I use the internet a lot, and I play a handful of video games, but I can also go on a camping trip with no signal and be completely fine, unless you want to try and find something pathological about nature photography, in which case you can blow it out your ass. If anything, I generally enjoy the change of pace. There’s no sense of panic or withdrawal or “I need to get back to my computer/consoles immediately.”

So when I hear the idea that addiction is this broad, transferable trait that will latch onto anything with quick reward or low friction, I just don’t see it reflected in my own life.

What does make sense, looking back, is context.

When I was using heroin, I was in an abusive relationship. My environment was unstable, stressful, and honestly pretty bleak. The substance didn’t just exist in a vacuum. It fit into a specific set of conditions where it functioned as relief, escape, and regulation.

When those conditions changed, the behavior changed with them.

That doesn’t mean there was no dependency. There obviously was. It doesn’t mean there were no consequences. There very much were. My grades suffered. I dropped out of college. I lost my apartment because staying out of withdrawal and numbing out from the abuse felt more important than paying rent.

But it does suggest that what we call “addiction” might not always be this permanent, identity-level trait that needs to be managed forever. Sometimes it looks a lot more like a relationship between a person, a substance, and a specific environment.

When that’s the case, then a framework that assumes universality - “if this happened once, it will always be waiting to happen again, with anything” - is going to miss a lot of variation.

I’m not saying 12-step programs can’t help people. Clearly they can, or they likely wouldn’t exist in the way they do. But I do think they’re often treated as the model of addiction rather than a model that fits some people and not others, and when your experience doesn’t match that model, many people who swear by them will assume that you are misunderstanding yourself, in denial, or “not taking it seriously enough.” This paternalistic attitude only serves to make me even more skeptical of the framework.

For me, what mattered wasn’t declaring myself permanently “addictive” or treating every pleasurable behavior as a potential threat.

What mattered was getting out of the environment where that pattern made sense in the first place.

Rat Park, people. Stop forgetting about Rat Park.

[hug-your-face]

“addiction” might not always be this permanent, identity-level trait... Sometimes it looks a lot more like a relationship between a person, a substance, and a specific environment.

I have helped change more individual behavior by changing the environment around them than I have by working on their behavior.

[nerdlordvidal]

From my own experience with addiction, trauma, coping, and identity, the scarier underlying pattern isn't "situation equals x so solution equals y", its "feelings equal subset a [too intense for me to cope with], so solution equals subset b [behavior that removes me from feelings]

I was medicated outside of my ability to consent as a child, so my brain began to associate "drug" [set containing pill, Adderall, stimulant] with "coping" [set containing managing behaviors and emotions, feeling less bad]

As an adult, weed and alcohol became readily available, and mitigated the stress of being horribly maladapted to adulthood very easily. Drug equals coping.

I graduated to much more dangerous drugs (psychedelics, ecstasy, cocaine, meth), and the base framework didn't change. Drug equaled coping, and because more drugs brought more problems, coping became paradoxically noncomputational.

Post prison, I've developed (wholly by necessity) a better sense of how to cope with life. Is it perfect? Fuck no. During the week, I drink after work, because work is exhausting and super stressful. However, because I'm better at managing the things that cause me to drink, better at coping, the drinking is enough. I understand how much it costs me, and I mitigate it based on how good it feels against how good not being in prison and having control of my life feels.

If I stopped, I'd miss it. My brain would Do The Thing where everything sucks for a while. I'd need to find a new shortcut for coping. But for me at least, it's not one of those addictions that's tearing my life apart.

I think addiction is a highly nuanced concept, and should only be the umbrella under which we begin to have conversations about individual experiences and needs. There is no one solution. Sometimes there's not even a problem.