why do i even care anymore? i bend over backwards & tie myself in knots to make sure my friends are happy and they canât even take my feelings into account.
Claire Keane
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@egotistical-emotions
why do i even care anymore? i bend over backwards & tie myself in knots to make sure my friends are happy and they canât even take my feelings into account.
i think that i do the opposite. i wish that i could let it all roll off my of back and let it drip down like sweat to become the earth, but no, every moment i crystallize in time. i analyze it from every angle. i am too much a master of my own time line that the ink of my story bleeds into others. i change situations, i decide the better way i could have done things. i am unforgiving. your words cut deep, but my own, they carve out each letter into my skin, a reminder of how i can never be. just be. and that is all i want
i need somewhere to scream into the void that i almost relapsed today but its been over 5 years and i didnt
Positive parts of 2016
- the rise of old friends senior dog sanctuary - Hamilton - pokemon go - female ghostbusters - i donât give a fuck im outta here Obama - captain america civil war - girl, black guy and latino guy leads in new star wars - deadpool - lemonade - literally???! Nothing??? Else????
WELL ACTUALLY SINCE YOU ASKED:
- Starbucks actually did the hard work of figuring out how to donate perishable food in a foodsafe way.
- 500 elephants were relocated to a better, safer and bigger home.
- âUnadoptableâ cats (who are usually killed) may have a really important place in the world in their traditional area of work, given weâre thinking maybe poisoning stuff all over the place is a bad plan.
- We made massive strides in Alzheimersâ prevention.
- We found out that the ozone layer is repairing itself and that all the work we did to get rid of those aerosol chemicals was actually worth it.
- This therapy could cure radiation sickness.
- The Anglican church resolved to solemnize same-sex unions the same as opposite-sex unions, which required a super-majority of all three orders of the church (lay, clergy, bishop) and got MORE than that from both lay and bishop.
- The Rabbinical Assembly issued a resolution affirming the rights of transgender and non-conforming individuals.
- The Liberal govât changed the Canada Child Benefit so that itâs actually helping people who NEED THE FUCKING HELP. (I am sorry if you are a six figure income you do not actually fucking need this make some fucking lifestyle adjustments for fuckâs sake.)
- Highway of Tears is finally getting some regular fucking bus service.
- Eastwood donated a bunch more land to the Carmel River restoration project.
- We have developed gene-therapy for autoimmune disorders.
- Precision treatments for cancer are hitting clinical trials and WORKING.
- Dentists are once again providing free care to veterans who need it.
- The Anglican bishop on the Islands made an Eastern pilgrimage walking from Alert Bay to Victoria to stop at every First Nations community and personally, unequivocally apologize for his churchâs involvement in fucking them up.
- Canada is actively attempting to increase and improve refugee resettlement.
- It has been determined that the manatee population has bounced back so much (500%) that it can be moved from âendangeredâ to âthreatenedâ.
- This guy got to see his kids again.
- The Orlando Shakespeare Festival showed up with angel wings to block funeral-goerâs view of hate group so they wouldnât be disrupted.
- Net Neutrality has been upheld by the appeals court. (No that fight isnât over BUT THIS IS STILL A FUCK OF A GOOD THING.)
- We may have cured MS. (LET ME REPEAT: WE MAY HAVE CURED MS.)
- New short-treatment-period cure for HepC is huge success.
- Rise Womenâs Legal Centre opened.
⊠. and this is just what I came up with in a pretty lazy google search in an hour, including distractions where I went down the research rabbit-hole for a bit because holy crap some of that stuffâs NEAT, guys!
And I know Iâm missing stuff, because I wanted a citation for every single thing I put on there.
Yes, there have been some really bad things that have happened in 2016. There have also been a number of huge fucking miracles, and SIMILAR bad things have always happened, just about every damn year - maybe not to you, or maybe they didnât make the news, and maybe you just donât remember any of the good because of that whole massive Negative Bias problem that human brains have, but?
A lot of good shit happened. A lot.
And like I do actually get the sudden overwhelmed feeling of EVERYTHING SUCKS? but that mindset is, at this point, literally our worst enemy. âEverything is terrible somebody do somethingâ helplessness is what will in fact consign us to everything BEING terrible.Â
Everything is not terrible. In fact there are new ways, every single month, wherein new opportunities and miracles are happening and no that does not balance out the bad shit but it gives every reason to FIGHT the bad shit, and to get past the bad shit, and to make sure the bad shit ISNâT the overwhelming stain.Â
So.Â
I want EVERY single one of my followers to read this. PLEASE I know a lot of bad things happened this year and itâs ok to be upset but all of this pessimism is only making things worse
This made me feel good about the world again. There is always love, there is always good.
Itâs currently 3:40 a.m and all I can think about you. I know I shouldnât but I canât help it. I loved you so much. You were the first person I truly believed loved and cared for me. Things didnât work out for us but donât you wonder what we couldâve been? Because I do⊠but you obviously donât. You gave up on us the moment things got hard. You said that we would, and I quote, âWe WILL be together. I donât care what it takes.â But you lied. Just like everyone else who said they wouldnât leave but did. You left the first chance you got. I know I should forget about you, but I just canât seem to let you go. I still love you. I think a part of me always will.
hoping that you miss me as much as I miss you⊠(via @dpressedâteen)
THROUGH A RAPISTâS EYESâ (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)
An Article from Neena Susan Thomas
âThrough a rapistâs eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewâŠed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whoâs clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they donât have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isnât worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys youâre not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: canât believe it is so cold out here, weâre in for a bad winter. Now that youâve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said theyâd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you canât beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh â HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guyâs parts it is extremely painful. You might think that youâll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and heâs out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, donât dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but youâd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL âŠ.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from youâŠ. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver wonât see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DONâT DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driverâs side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked âfor helpâ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and itâs better safe than sorry.
If u have compassion reblog this post. âHelping hands are better than Praying Lipsâ â give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog thisâŠ.Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.â
EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this
EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS!
oh my god this is disgusting that we need this but so important @riarkleraspberries @callmecottoncandyface @i-believe-in-riarkle @llamabeansforllamas @sixbhanannb @hxneyandpeaches @riarklesparkle @mayahxrtt
Holy fuck never skip this
I hate the fact that we need this
ive been gone for a week. first i was in california and then in the last 12 hours things have gone to shit in a epic way. i dont know if ill post as often as i did before the trip but ill try to keep posting... still, feel free to message me if you need me. that isnt gonna change, loves
The moment you stepped into my world, itâs colours became infinitely richer, brighter and more loving.
thelittleletters (via wnq-writers)
I hope whenever you hear someone say my name you canât breath. I hope that when your mother asks why I havenât come round in a long while you have to fight back the urge to tell her that you fucked up our relationship, and that you fucked me up as well. I hope that when your little brother tells you he misses seeing me you have to stop yourself before you reply with âme tooâ. But baby, itâs far to late now to admit that you want me, Iâve moved on, youâve lost me.
(via poisoned-words)
â Never underestimate the power of good morning texts, apologies, and random compliments. â
https://twitter.com/goodquoteco (via words-of-emotion)
Somewhere in his bodyâperhaps in the marrow of his bonesâhe would continue to feel her absence.
Haruki Murakami, Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman: 24 Stories (via wordsnquotes)
I wish I had the lips that youâve always wanted to kiss To taste the bitter sweet flavour of the falling rain I wish I had the hands that youâve always wanted to hold When you let go all of your fears you hold for the longest of time I wish I had the arms that youâve always wanted to wrapth around your body To feel a home youâre longing for when the season changes I wish I had the ears that youâve always wanted to listen to your ramblings When you cant function properly because its too loud in your head I wish I had the eyes that youâve always wanted to stare To see something that is beyond the beauty of the stars and moon in the galaxy You see.. these are the things that i wish i had I want to be the one you need The one whoâll make you happy consistently But I know these things are impossible And here i am Sitting in the bathroom floor Wondering if it is worth the risk Hell no, i dont want to take risk, no Simply because.. I am afraid to lose you
VADV (via wnq-writers)