To Dorian Storm @eirwyn - Tumblr Blog

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I'm sitting on my laptop during my weekend off doing something for work. They've essentially asked me to revamp some old journals for our children to work through and to create some new ones so we have something for them to move onto even after they technically age out of the programme (most end up coming back as volunteers).

I've finished the first one, have my plan in place for the second one, and as a break, started to look for some ideas for the third (and potential fourth) one. The idea is that as the children get older, we start to transition them away from doing and into leading. I started doing some research and suddenly I've burst into tears.

Because I'm a teacher. But I'm a teacher on my terms, developing my own programme, and not stifled by anything as awful as a school environment. I've been trusted to create this, by myself, and I can see exactly how it's all going to work, and I'm going to teach it. I'm going to do it. I've just suddenly realised that I've been given the chance to do exactly what I've always wanted to do, exactly how I've always wanted to do it.

What a heady thing. What a truly magnificent, terrifying thing, to be given a job that is everything you've ever dreamed of. I'm so truly lucky, to have this responsibility that I love so much.

#personal

I am going to talk about the streamers I'm obsessed with because I have THOUGHTS and no-one to share them with and also they're real people so I'm not putting it anywhere they can see or tagging it but I NEED to write this shit down so...

I spend way too much time thinking about Ethan and Andy istg. But I think about them as separate people so yay? Bonus points for being a decent human being?

What has triggered this particular tirade of thinky-thoughts is watching Andy play a fantasy land version of GeoGuessr, in contrast to Ethan having streamed the original game a couple of times.

Having a direct comparison to compare and contrast them is really fascinating because obviously I already know they stream in two completely different ways (weird, almost like they're two different people, I know!). I go to Ethan when I need to be amped up, or distracted, or I just want some noise, because he never fails to be loud about something. I go to Andy when I want quiet companionship, or I want to listen to something, or just to be gentle, because they've got a very calming impact on me.

But watching them both playing this particular competitive game has made me think about another difference I think I have perceived. Ethan plays these games to entertain, Andy plays them to win. Allow me to explain.

Ethan is obviously competitive. He likes to win. That is not in question. What I mean by saying that he chooses them to entertain is that I feel that Ethan is more comfortable in having his personality be part of the appeal of the streams. He doesn't need to win because he knows that at least 50% of the entertainment value is coming from us watching him rage and curse and get increasingly more frustrated. Which is true, and it's always hilarious.

Andy is less competitive. I think that it matters slightly less to them whether they win or not, but the way that they play these games puts the entertainment aspect firmly on the game. Andy, I feel, is less comfortable being on display in the same way, so the point of the streams become more about: look how good I am at this game, rather than: look at me playing this game. If that makes sense? I feel like I'm not putting this very well. Andy is an incredible streamer, and cosplayer and has a knack for making people love them, but they hold themselves back a little more, I feel.

Anyway, I love both of them and I find it fascinating how different personalities can build communities around them, largely overlapping communities, and still have very different streaming styles.

#eirwyn has opinions

freesiadotcom

having friends notably older than you is fantastic actually, cause you can drop in a little mention of how old you would have been at the time of a story they tell and watch the existential crisis set in

#shae I fucking hate you #thanks for making me snort my drink

haveyouever-polls

Have you ever listened to a song parody that permanently affected how you listen to the original?

Yes

Voting ended onOct 18, 2024

hadesisqueer

The Dragostea Din Tei Spanish parody. No one in Spain knows the original lyrics. It’s just Fiesta Fiesta Pluma Pluma Gay for us

gallusrostromegalus

Heard the “Literal Version” years before I ever heard the actual lyrics to “total eclipse of the heart” and I still expect to hear “twirl around, ninja!”

#minecraft parody songs #especially because i didn't know the originals #so my brain thinks the parody lyrics are the real ones

tired-fandom-ndn

Age gap discourse is surreal to me because social circles being limited by age is very much just something for when you're in school. Even in college, you can be in classes with people 20+ years older than you, especially in community colleges with people getting degrees "later" in life.

People in their late teens and early 20s are coworkers with people in their 40s and 50s. If you join community groups or clubs, you'll probably meet people decades older than you. Your neighbors probably won't be the same age you are. Neither will everyone at the bars or cafes you frequent. It's totally normal to meet someone much older or younger than you and hit it off as an adult because real life is not segregated by age.

#i love you shae #thank you for reblogging exactly what i needed to see

Sometimes I wonder whether how much I adore the children I work with is wrong. I'm not anything to them. At best I'm an instructor to them, at worst I'm just another adult in their lives, but I would genuinely die for every single one of them. Their victories are my victories, their problems are my problems, I would do anything for them to know and understand what absolutely wonderful, incredible, worthy human beings they are. I love every single one of them so, so much, and I want them to know that there is nothing they could do that would result in me not being 100% on their side.

#personal

I am so clearly my father's favourite child that I feel awful for even thinking this, but maybe I'm just an awful person underneath it all, so oh well I'm going to talk about it anyway

My brother came over for dinner tonight. He does it on a mostly biweekly basis and I hate it every single time. Not because I hate my brother, because I don't. I've never known my life without him because we're so close in age, and regardless of how much he irritates me sometimes, that's a bond that can never be broken. He was my first friend, my best friend for a lot of my childhood, and is entirely too clever for his own good.

We're buying a flat together. We needed to talk about a few things, so my mother calls me down when he gets there, and proceeds to sit in on the conversation. Again, I don't object to this, we're first-time buyers and fucking clueless. It's what happens after that I hate.

My brother is in a very similar career to the one my mother retired from less than a year ago. And he's just been promoted so he's a bit stressed and he talks to my mother about it. And objectively speaking that's it. That's fine. But it makes me feel like literal shit because not only do I not have a clue what they're on about and cannot participate in the conversation (but am expected to stay at the table otherwise I'm being 'anti-social'), but my mother has never shown that amount of interest or enthusiasm in my career choices ever.

I had one of the worst days I have ever had today, in which a little piglet died in my arms moments before a vet could put him to sleep, which meant he died suffering, and an event that I have been planning and looking forward to for months now can't go ahead and I'm the fucker who has to break 20 kids' hearts and I barely got two sentences out about my day before I was summarily dismissed.

I got told I was being 'very quiet' and the only reason I didn't snap back is that it's not my little brother's fault he's my mother's favourite child. And, as I said at the beginning, I feel awful for resenting him that because it's obvious to anyone with eyes that I'm my father's favourite child and I imagine that's probably quite hard on a son.

But I hate how these dinners make me feel and that coupled with the shittiest day means I'm a lot more thin-skinned than normal.

#personal

anonpolls

What do you eat most often for breakfast?

Nothing, or just coffee/tea/juice/etc.

Sugary cereal

Non-sugary cereal

Sweet pastries (muffin, donut, etc.)

Waffles or pancakes

Bread-related things (bagel, toast, croissant, etc.)

Granola or protein bar

Eggs

Sandwich (breakfast sandwich or not)

Soup/stew/stir-fry

Fruit

Something else

Voting ended onSep 7, 2024

Thanks, Anon!

-submit your poll!-

#i absolutely have to eat breakfast in the mornings #even if i really cannot stomach the idea of food #my job is very physical and i will regret it if i don't

thedupshadove

Inspired by some other polls that have been going around lately, I'm trying to see something:

If you had what you considered a slightly luxurious income guaranteed for life with no work needed, would you move?

I'd move out of my current home but stay in the same city/town

I'd move to a different city in the same state/province

I'd move to a different state/province in the same region

I'd move to a different region in the same country

I'd move to a different country

I'd invest in a camper-van/good-quality luggage and become a perpetual traveler

Voting ended onAug 30, 2024

#if i could afford it #i would never leave london #it's my home it's my city #i was born and bred here #and i love it #i love it so so much

apolladay

What assigned English class book did you viscerally HATE (the most)? I tried to make it general by some authors since curriculums vary.

Any Charles Dickens book

Any Shakespeare Play

Any Greek Epic

The Great Gatsby

1984

A Scarlet Letter

Lord of the Flies

Frankenstein

Other (if it's farenheit 451, I'll burn you)

I didn't viscerally hate any English class book

What assigned English class book did you viscerally HATE (the most)? I tried to make it general by some authors since curriculums vary.

Any Charles Dickens book

Any Shakespeare Play

Any Greek Epic

The Great Gatsby

1984

A Scarlet Letter

Lord of the Flies

Frankenstein

Other (if it's farenheit 451, I'll burn you)

I didn't viscerally hate any English class book

Voting ended onAug 25, 2024

#i HATED far from the madding crowd #thomas hardy can go do one #but unlike every single other british school child i didn't have to study of mice and men #and i thank god for it every single day

angstalottle

It must be super awkward if a Kelpie tries to drown a person wearing a weird coat then they get deep into the water and they have turned into a seal

#given who i reblogged this from #and who they reblogged this from #i'm pretty sure we're all thinking the same thing #and i also think it's hilarious to consider

doomed-romances

🧛🏽 Assad Zaman as the vampire Armand

Interview With The Vampire Part II Costume design by Carol Cutshall

#*pained sigh*#all i can hope for is that it was big enough to get invited to comic con #i will pay obscene amounts of money to meet this man #he can't possibly be prettier in person #iwtv

Core memory moment

Going into work just to play dnd only to find that two of your players have conspired behind your back to make you a birthday cake, and they actually put candles on it and sing you happy birthday, and another player came up with the same idea but they didn't communicate so now there's two birthday cakes and good natured fighting over which one gets to have candles put on it. One of my players roasts another so hard I give him inspiration. The rain starts hammering it down about half a hour before the end of the session and we all just run around in the courtyard in what was meant to be warm summer rain but is actually just standard british rain so it's fucking freezing, but none of us care because we're kicking a football around making jokes about the england football team and laughing so hard we keep missing the ball, getting soaked through to the skin hair and clothes dripping all over my paper maps and god I love them I love them I love them.

#personal