7.6 Unrequited Love
About a year and a half ago I wrote a blog about the people I fell inlove with, that time I never thought I will continue the count. I met this guy at work, he's not the "hot" guy in crowd if you may ask. He's tall,white and brainy, that is his identifier. The first time I saw him I already knew he can be something in my life but not straight away because Im still inlove with someone else. He knew that but he didn't give up, he pursue his intention with me regarding the fact that Im crazy inlove with my past. I even cry over his shoulder multiple times. He always makes me feel I'm important and special and funny and pretty and just amazing. He adores me so much that makes me feel I'm the best person not just in his life but in general. Surprise me with his little presents. I wouldn't forget the first gift he gave me without any occasion, a CD of my favourite filipino band. Im so happy and just hug him sooo tight. His effort is superb. After months of being nice to me, like picking me up anywhere I end up drunk and high and cant stand on my feet, I gave him a chance and gave my self a chance as well to be happy. He loved me on my weakest and when my life is a mess. He hold my hand and told me "its all gonna be alright", that he will never leave my side. He gave me the "promises". It was a great love adventure. He is the total opposite of me, he likes the things that bores me, he enjoy the things I hate and hate the things I enjoy but we work out our differences. I can say opposite do attract is applicable in our story. I tried to broke up with him one time and he came rushing from his house to my room and take me back. He always makes me feel that I got nothing to worry about as long as we're together, that I'm not gonna go through the same shit as what I've been through. Whenever I'm in pain he will make me squeeze his hands because he wants me to share the pain with him, whenever I'm sick he will take care of me like a baby, whenever I wake up in the middle of the night with tears he will hug me till I fall back to sleep, he full fill every dream I had. Spoiled me in a lot of different ways. One blog would never be enough for all the things he did for me. But LIFE happen. Everything slowly changed. I cannot even remember what started this..... Distance. Everything is falling apart. He started to do things I cannot even imagine he would, started to say things that powdered every part of me (because crushed cant define what I felt). He become a total different person. I hated how he can go on days without talking to me, I hated how he put everything first over me, I hated how he can plan things with other people and just do whatever left with his time with me, I hated how he treat me so differently, And most of all I hate my self for not hating him, not even a bit, not even his finger tip. I know it was me who called it over but I still hope that he'd fought for me till his dying day. Sometimes I wish I could hurt him the way he hurt me. But I know if I had the chance to, I wouldn't. The lines I never wanted to hear nor wanted to say is here to be heard. Maybe I cannot really stop whats meant to happen no matter how desperately I try. Its time to say goodbye.
