An Elder Emo's Smatterings

The random thoughts of an Emo kid who never was.

[elderemorune]

What the Fuck is Up with... Well, you know.

Good timezone, friends, followers, and others who find their way here. Originally this idea was supposed to be for fun things like conspiracy theories about Avril Lavigne, but today I think we need to talk about what happened last night.

We were betrayed by a system that claimed to speak for us and to protect us.

It would be easy to say that it was the people who voted third party, or the people who didn't vote who caused this, but it's not the truth. The fact of the matter is that we the people haven't had any level of real representation in gods know how long.

Since at least the 90's the so-called left-leaning Democrat party abandoned the working class in favor of their uber rich megadonors, and we all know that the RNC's been deep in shady money since its inception. Functionally, this means that we are not represented at all in the 'hallowed' halls of Justice. Not at a Federal level.

Didn't you wonder why the Harris campaign didn't talk about minimum wage? Or healthcare? Sure, there were some policies about helping working class people get houses, and some pledge to decriminalize marijuana, and there was a huge focus on abortion rights, which of course they weren't going to enshrine anyway, even if Harris did win. None of that was for you. The things that we were promised were smoke and mirrors meant to shade her support of Israel, her immigration stance, the fact that she worked with a complicit racist, the fact that she dropped out in the 2020 race.

She was a fucking stooge, a face to make goddamn sure Trump won. This is what people mean when they say both parties are as bad as each other. Not that this election was some carefully crafted scam. No, that would be narratively interesting, and we live in the darkest fucking universe, so the only force at play here is good old fashioned greed. Greedy Democrats suckling at the teats of Bill Gates and maybe pushing forward candidates he and his ilk think would be better for them. Greedy Republicans openly fellating Elon Musk while he absolutely pours from his practically infinite resources directly into their pockets, just to make sure that his guy has a real chance, you know? It's definitely not some form of bribery or corruption, no not at all!

And it's bullshit.

All of it's just. Bullshit.

We cannot wait for this establishment to speak for us. It never will, not voluntarily. This raises the question; what the fuck is up with... Well, everything?

How can we combat this seemingly impossible issue?

If there are no alternatives, we must become the alternative. It starts today. Right now. It starts with rest. With grace, and with care. We are all feeling something massive and painful right now. We are all unsafe, uncertain, and it's fucking oppressive. Right now you need to rest and recover. A good warrior never goes into battle tired.

Once we've recovered, we can come together. If we form community now, with our neighbors, with our friends, with everyone we love, we can start to organize and plan. This isn't easy, especially not now when reaching out is painful, but there is absolutely no way we can resist alone. The establishment is well entrenched, well armed, well funded, and corrupt beyond what you'd dare consider. When they come for us, the only people we'll have with us are those we form community with.

I want you to know that this is not a small task. I recognize this. While I personally feel the need to fight, there is absolutely no shame in running. This is a fight that was chosen for you, and if your survival response is to flee, listen to it. You know your own limits better than anyone else. Make sure your passport is up to date, and start researching now. Draw up an exit strategy. Fuck, do this even if you intend to stay. Your life, the lives of your loved ones are important, and if you can't help everyone, help who you can.

This is how it starts, friends. Family. We need each other so goddamn badly right now that it isn't funny. The world is suddenly much smaller, much scarier, and much more dangerous. I have many friends who are so scared that they're having incredibly dark thoughts. I'm having these thoughts too. It's okay to have them! For me, it's that they have taken everything else. I will not let them dictate how I die. You're having these feelings for a reason, so if you're struggling, please reach out to a trusted person. You don't deserve this hell, but it's where we are.

I'm not going back. I won't go back into the closet to appease some delicate sensibilities. I won't shut up just because the Regime doesn't like what I have to say.

My name is August Jones. This was What the Fuck is Up. Rest well, friends, and goodnight.

[elderemorune]

What the f@&k is up with WWWY '24?

Alright, it's been awhile since I've posted, but here we go! A bit of preamble before we dig in; I'm starting a new project I'm calling "What the f@&k is up with..." where I talk about an event I attended (which I've done before) or something weird I learned recently and go a bit into it.

So let's get started, yeah?

This year, I took the very first vacation I've ever been on in my adult life. And what a first vacation to take! Las Vegas, shining jewel of the Mojave, played host to a massive emo music festival by the name of When We Were Young, featuring all of the biggest bands from when I was a child. My Chemical Romance was the headliner this year, but the act list was absolutely stacked with heavy hitters like Fall Out Boy, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, 3OH!3, Jimmy Eat World, etc.

Some short sad boy hours before we dive in. I was never allowed to be a part of this community when I was a kid. I wanted to dress like my friends and listen to the same music they did. I mean, shit, my friggin mom listens to My Chem, but when I'd ask for CDs and clothes, my parents always said no. This means that many of the big acts were groups I ended up missing out on, like LS Dunes, an emo supergroup not unlike CRX. (Wholeheartedly recommend them, by the way.) For me, this festival was a reclamation of the ties I wasn't allowed to forge in my youth, a reclamation of the little boy who wanted to be seen by everyone around him.

With that surprisingly lengthy preamble out of the way, let's do what I love doing most and talk about the music.

The first act we saw was Daisy Grenade. While most of the bands performing were doing full albums, Daisy Grenade wasn't able to do that because they haven't released a full length yet. Instead, we got a new release, How to Hide a Body, which I'm currently listening to on repeat because I am absolutely in love with them.

They performed several other songs, like Riot and Are You Scared of Me Yet, and their energy on stage was so infectious that I practically began crying with how overjoyed I was. They were so incredibly happy just to be there, at this massive festival, playing for all of us.

I don't want to spend forever talking about them, but I absolutely could. I've become so obsessed with them that I've been listening to their entire discography on repeat since we returned from the show! Top notch show from them, 10/10.

Following Daisy Grenade was LS Dunes, the aforementioned emo supergroup, comprised of Anthony Green, Frank Iero, Travis Stever, Tim Payne and Tucker Rule. Their show was, again, fantastic. I'm probably going to say this about every show we saw, but this one sticks out for a particular reason: LS Dunes actually inspired "What the F@&k is Up" when Anthony said "Being in a band is the very best thing" and an audience member shouted "Yeah, that's why you're in 12 of them!"

Here's where we finally get to the "What the fuck is up" part. After he said that, I took it upon myself to track this man down and talk to him. I asked about the band and about the festival. He asked if I was a reporter, so I told him what I was doing. "I'm gonna write about this on my fuckin tumblr when I get home, my man. You mind sharing some thoughts to go on a sadboy tumblr page?"

"Tumblr still exists? Fuck yeah dude!"

I didn't get his name, but I did get a quote from him! "LS Dunes is the group of misfits that brings all us lost souls together. Every member comes from a band we hold dear, and combines to form a Voltron of a supergroup!"

Frankly (hehe), I couldn't agree more! This show was my first exposure to them, but Frank Iero and The ... is a project that means a lot to me. Joyriding is a personal favorite song, and the music really saved me from a dark place, and if I've got a story like that, imagine how many others at this event did too!

So, since this was a big festival, there were cameras everywhere, and with crowd sizes being what they were, massive screens were erected on the stages to allow the people in the back to actually see the acts onstage. I'm bringing this up because partway through the set for LS Dunes, the camera ended up focused on Anthony's can of Liquid Death, which to me is both the MOST Vegas AND the MOST capitalist thing. Personally I find it amusing. The water brand meant to make weak men feel decent about being the DD sponsoring a big emo event? It sends me!

Let's talk about the community of WWWY. My wife has a minor sun allergy, so I'd gotten a parasol for her to help battle the Mojave. At first we were worried about bothering other attendees, but instead we shaded a small group around us and they offered to start taking turns holding the parasol when arms started getting tired! Once we whipped the shade out, this girl in the crowd handed us a beaded bracelet that read "2022", and this other guy near us, Jared, thanked us for the shade when it was his turn to hold the parasol.

I can't think of any other event that I've attended where this kind of behavior is even possible, let alone the norm! So big shoutout to Jared and Bead Girl! (BG, if you use Tumblr and come across this post, please message me with your name and I'll replace it! First name is fine!)

After LS Dunes, we decided to take a break. The next act that I wanted to see but she had no interest in was Red Jumpsuit, but their set wasn't for a little bit, so I fucked off to get some lunch. Got myself a gyro and some nachos for my wife. I thought the food was alright, but according to her it was much better than the food at Warped Tour. I also felt basic (sue me), so I got myself a Pumpkin Spice Latte. You wanna know what made this experience worth mentioning? They put the coffee in a fucking can for me. Just in case I didn't want it now, and was instead saving it for later.

Obviously I ripped right into it, but isn't this one of the most privileged things you've seen? I had to share.

After lunch had been consumed, I decided to make the trek to the Verizon stage where RJA was playing. Unfortunately for me, I get lost very easily and I could not find the stage for the life of me! I ended up missing most of their set, but I managed to catch their last song, Face Down, which is easily one of their more iconic hits. A bit dejected, I floated over to the nearby bar and ordered my fourth cocktail for the day when I encountered someone wearing a shirt I found strange.

This gal's shirt read "Avril Lavigne was replaced in 2003 by Melissa Vandella". Obviously I had to ask about this. Apparently there are folks that believe that in 2003, Avril Lavigne committed suicide in the wake of her grandfather's death, and Melissa Vandella had been trained to take over has her replacement. That was about all I got out of her before she fucked off to another show, so I went back to my table to get lost in thought for a moment and jot down some notes. Not long after, however, another couple walked by. The husband was wearing an Avril Lavigne shirt, so I grabbed them and asked if they'd heard of this insane theory.

I'll go ahead and use the names they gave me here, K-Dawg and D-Money. D explained that while he was familiar with the concept, K was really the person to talk to, and she broke down the entire theory for me. In 2003, Avril's behavior and looks changed a little bit, and instead of, you know, acknowledging that she was grieving, some fans decided that this was not Avril Lavigne and that she had to have been replaced by a body double, which is clearly the only possible explanation.

Speaking of, if it's not abundantly clear, neither party here believes this theory. Having done some further research into it since we got back, I can say with certainty that it's bullshit. Not that truth stops conspiracy minded folks!

After our talk, I asked if they'd mind sharing some of their thoughts about the festival, and here's what they had to say:

"My supportive husband brought me to the show to have me experience all of my favorite bands. The environment is amazing and the music is EVERYTHING! :) - K-Dawg + D-Money"

Around here is when we marched off to go see 3OH!3, another show I was quite excited for, but alas! Right before 3OH!3, tragedy struck. My wife got injured, and we had to leave the festival as quick as we could to get some help and some rest. Two gals, Noelle and someone whose name I didn't get, guided us to the exit and helped us get a ride back to our hotel, all without ever asking for anything in return.

Isn't this absolutely amazing? So many different people, from so many different walks of life, all here to experience this incredible form of connection? Total strangers, outcasts now grown, coming together to heal from the myriad traumas visited upon us by the real world! It's incredible, isn't it?

Speaking of different people, there were some other folks I spoke with around this time. One guy didn't want to give his name, but was happy to explain his shirt to me. It read "What the FUCK is up at Denny's?" so I asked. He explained to me that once upon a time, Blink-182 played a show at a Denny's, and that was all it was referencing. Below is that video he was talking about.

We also met several Las Vegas locals who were happy to shoot the shit about their home for a little bit, but one guy in particular really stuck out. He was wearing these awesome pink Converse and was just decked out head to toe in this very well put together outfit. Of course, I asked him what he was thinking about the festival, if he was having fun, and here's what he wrote in my little notebook; "Today is my 32nd birthday and my 30's are more fun than my 20's. Be gay, do crime! - Sean Paul, Las Vegas Local"

Of course, I didn't just talk to festival attendees, but I also spoke with servers and staff around the space. Since they were working, I didn't want to bother them much, but the general consensus that I heard from the people I spoke with was that the festival was doing way better than last year, that things were much more organized, and that working for this event was the most fun they'd had in a long time.

I even got to speak with the ASL coordinator, Allie for a little while! I asked what she felt about the show, what her favorite act was, you know, the questions I'd been asking everyone else around, and she said "My favorite act was def ADTR, I LOVE Jeremy! He was my Tumblr password in middle school, hehe. This is the life I prayed for!"

And it wasn't just her, but I also spoke with a member of the security team, Bryan. Dude was eating it up when Fall Out Boy was playing, just rocking harder than half of the attendees were. Dude was a one-man mosh pit! We danced together for a bit, and then I hit him with the questions too. "My favorite part of WWWY '24 is being able to experience the music that kept me alive through hard times and now getting to experience beautiful moments like this with new friends!"

The last person I talked to about the event was, of course, my wife. "WWWY isn't my first music festival - but it is, without a doubt, one of the most incredible musical experiences I've ever had. Even after making an emergency trip back to the hotel after getting injured, once we returned I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with excitement. So many of these bands helped raise me, you know? Not only dominating my mix CDs and playlists, but seeing me through my worst days. It's remarkable to see so many thousands of people gathered to celebrate this piece of music culture. It's a stunning reminder that we are never truly alone - we all belong somewhere."

And gods if she isn't right.

This festival was absolutely incredible, and I don't know if any future events will ever manage to be comparable to me. I mean, look at what everyone I spoke to had to say! And how willing the were to share those thoughts with me, of all people! All I did was tell them I'm putting this on my Tumblr, and suddenly we're having a full blown conversation about the most insane shit, and before I even realized it, it was time for us to leave.

I think coming into this community as an adult has been so amazing. This kindness, this togetherness, it reminds me that things were hard and that I couldn't do anything about it because I was Just a Kid. That while life was a nightmare, it doesn't have to be, and it reminds me of the good times that happened When We Were Young.

[elderemorune]

My Name is August

Before anyone worries, I'm not technically doxxing myself. It's a chosen name, and I wanted to examine it. For awhile, really, but I've been going through it and it took me awhile to figure out what I needed to say about it.

My given name is Christian. My mother, who had me at too young with a man who beat her for daring to carry me (who is not my father, that dubiously given title belongs to the bastard child of American royalty), named be after a terrible Robin Hood movie featuring Kevin Costner whose only redeeming feature is Alan Rickman threatening to cut hearts out with spoons. This name was chosen because she thought it was so cool how Morgan Freeman's character (whose name I cannot recall) referred to Robin as Christian.

Yeah.

I'm sure other people have naming stories that are just as stupid, but this is my blog and we're here to talk about me. Anyway, the choosing of my name rings as thoughtless to me. Just "That sounds cool". Being blunt, this is simply how my entire life has felt.

Proving that point, I was recently diagnosed with CPTSD. No, I have not told my folks, no matter how much I want to, because I know they'll make it all about them. Mom will wail about how it's her fault she was such a bad mom, and dad will stare angrily at me for a moment before recognizing that I'm right and then doing nothing to accept responsibility, let alone prevent future behaviour like it.

I was constantly abandoned. Left to my own devices because to quote my father directly "You were always fantastically independent."

I had to be. In so many goddamn ways, I raised myself. On TV, on video games, on movies and comics and of course, the Internet. As long as I wasn't causing trouble, you said. Unless of course my sister caused trouble but blamed me, and you grounded me despite my protestations of innocence. Often willfully, you later admitted to me. It was just fucking easier to ground me, rather than be a fucking parent and discipline your daughter. And you wonder why I hate her.

And mom, she isn't innocent in this either. See, I was raised on infidelity and harem anime, though both of them deny their charges. Dad saying "Well, that's an unfair characterization" of mom waking us up at 4:00 AM to pack our shit and leave because you were fucking a woman in Seattle? What else would you call that, father? And mom denying that she watched all that much only to buckle as I refer to several (Ai Yori Aoshi, Fruits Basket, Tenchi, etc.).

Beyond the harem anime, which is mostly a joke, she just didn't fucking leave him. She never once put my needs above hers. Desired the financial safety net. "Well, he could have buried me in legal fees" she said, "But I know he never would have done it." she says after some pressing.

My father was verbally abusive to everyone in the house. Physically abusive with only me, though my sister will insist he beat her despite even he himself admitting to only ever hitting me. When I didn't know a math problem's solution, it was a swift smack up the backside of my head. When I 'misbehaved' (didn't do what he wanted when he wanted) it was a smack. This kept on until I got big enough to hit him back. All it took was one punch to the gut to remind this obelisk of a person that he was indeed human, and so was I.

Mom knew about this, of course. She turned a blind eye to it until I hit him back. Then I was in trouble for not toeing the goddamn line. Grounded again for an amount of time that by then no longer mattered.

And let's not forget my fucking sister Amy! Oh boy, what a trainwreck! First off, I fucking hate my sister. My entire life, anything I had to work for, she was simply given because it was otherwise 'unfair' and my folks didn't want to listen to her bitch. She's even gone so far as to co-opt my trauma! We did a exactly one family therapy session, wherein she said, in front of the therapist, that she was scared of dad because he used to hit her. It was silent for a moment, then father coughed. "Um. No. I never hit you. I only ever hit your brother, because I was taught you don't hit girls."

The counselor then chimed in. "Amy, I mean this with kindness, but you and I have been working together for a long time. You've told me before that your dad never hit you. What are you trying to say here?"

Amy, incredible performer that she is, rose up, said "FUCK YOU" at the top of her lungs, and stormed out. A classic tactic from her teenage years, where she would do this, storm out of the house, often barefoot, screaming about how she hoped she starved to death in the woods and maybe then they'd understand how fucking awfully they treated her.

Frankly, I hate all of these people. The worst part is how they know about the ways in which their behaviour impacts me. They are all moving to Florida this month, with my folks moving Amy into their new home for "at most 30 days" (yeah right) and buying her a car.

Amy says the car's a gift, mom says the car has payments on it. I don't know who to believe, and at this point I don't care. I had to work for my fucking car. She didn't. It's the same shit on a brand new day.

Like with my goddamn house.

See, my wife and I got married on October 31st of 2020. It wasn't the wedding we wanted, but it was the one we needed. We got back from the honeymoon, and mom and dad are talking about helping us get a mortgage on a house. Well, Amy hears this, and of course, like the 27 year old woman she is, she pitches a fucking tantrum about how unfair it is that "They get a house and I'm stuck here".

Well, mom and dad can't go about being unfair to their kid, now can they? After all, it would be so unfair to give a married couple a normal married couple gift and not give that same gift to their seemingly single daughter.

So father had a bright idea. Start an LLC, buy a house, and rent it to us.

My wedding gift, reduced to an apartment, turned into a living nightmare, because anything else would have been unfair.

Let's expand on the living nightmare, shall we? Over the course of sharing a roof with my sister, she:

Told us if we got pregnant she'd kill herself. Mom asked us to stop trying while we live with her because of how triggering it would be for her.

2: Threatened to kill herself if we got another dog. Mom and dad asked us to consider how unfair it would be to her and her 'emotional support' dog that she hadn't trained.

3: Called my wife a fat bitch on multiple occasions, including in front of my mom, and then claimed amnesia. "I don't remember calling her that, I never said that. You're taking what I said out of context." She still won't apologize, even when confronted with a recording of her doing it.

4: When she moved her boyfriend in (without asking us, mind, she lied and told us he'd only be staying a few days), he asked for a space in their area. When we were asked to mediate, she said "Why should I have to give up space in my house?" and when reminded it wasn't her house, she stormed out after shouting fuck you at the top of her lungs, barefoot, marching down a very dangerous street in the middle of the night.

5: Did the same stunt again when we got back from apartment hunting in Seattle because my wife dared to tell her to shut up because we'd just got back in the door.

There's just so goddamn much. All of it awful.

So I'm fucking reclaiming me from this.

My name is motherfucking August Jones, and even though they couldn't do it, I fucking love me. I love who I could be, and even who I was, trapped in their cycle of abuse though I may have been. Shit, I still am, but we're working on that.

Mom, dad, if you find this blog entry somehow, and I hope you don't, don't fucking come to me about how this shit's exaggerated or I'm not remembering it right, I am. The axe forgets, you fucking morons, but the tree remembers.

Amy, if you find this, I hope your husband fucking leaves you, takes his kids, and abandons you in Florida. He may be a doormat, but he deserves better than a slathering narcissist maggot like you.

[elderemorune]

A Realization

I want to be a parent. This isn't news to anyone who knows me, I've wanted to raise kids for a long time now. My wife and I have tried for years, but fate says it's not quite time for us.

And that's okay, folks can safely become parents naturally for a while longer, and adoption is always an option. We'd already decided that when we're older and more stable that we're going to foster, because we both want deeply to be better parents than ours were.

The realization came just now. A fey mood came over me, and I decided to annoy my wife and husband by singing Voltaire loudly in the living room. The song I'd chosen however, was Crusade.

For those who don't know, Crusade is a song, written by Aurellio Voltaire, released on the album Then and Again which came out in 2004. The golden age of RuneScape, Emo music, The Internet really.

I was a little boy, sat at the desktop my dad had set up for my sister and I, listening to music on Slacker Radio while grinding my way through every quest in Runescape at the time. All I knew then was that I liked how it sounded, but I didn't know that it had planted this seed in me, this little feeling of doubt about how my father treated me.

I promise, this is all relevant, I'm not doing the usual ADHD thing and bouncing from topic to topic.

You see, the song was written by Voltaire after the birth of his son. He was so overwhelmed with so many feelings, but the biggest desire he had was to keep his baby safe (Though the wee lad took a spill in a few of his stories). The song is about going off to war, to stand against "evil", and sharing the wisdom of fathers before.

"I heard my father's words, deep in my heart. Son, know your enemy as I know my son."

A reminder that every single human is a person first, and your enemy second. Despite this, the singer kills a dragon who'd only been fighting to protect his young from the evils of man. Before he knows it, the singer's own son is grown, and off to fight in the Crusades, spouting the same propaganda that he once did when fighting the dragon.

"He swears, their eyes are red as flames, and heard it told from Hell they came, their breath is vile, their tongues are forked, thus are the men of other faiths"

Resulting in the singer sharing his father's wisdom with his son. "Son, love your enemy, as I would have them love my son".

I listen to the song now, and I find myself pontificating on the wisdom my own father shared with me, but alas I'm unable to point to anything specific. It feels as though the wisdom I've gained as I've gotten older has been in spite of him, rather than thanks to. Don't get me wrong, I love the man, but even he admits he has never been a very good father.

So the song made me realize. I'd like it if I could have a son. It's selfish, and maybe a little vain, but I want to show him a world that is nothing like the one I was raised in. I want to show him a world that loves him, where his only enemies are fictional and where he knows peace. I want to show him a world where masculinity isn't your body count or your monetary worth. I want to show my son a world where he can be who he is without fear of judgement.

There's no small part of me that wants to prove that I wasn't a problem when I was the child. My folks always warned that someday I'd have a kid just like me, and I can't help but see that as an absolute win, you know? All I ever needed was for my parents to be a little more hands-on. I was a little boy with impulse control issues, you can't just lock him in his room when he's not doing what you want. They expected me to teach myself what I did wrong by sitting me in solitude. Sure, they never took away my toys or books, but as an extrovert who needs to be around people, groundings SUCKED.

Anyway I've digressed. I don't actually care what gender my child is, or even who they are, as long as they're happy. I will support them no matter what, even if it means I have to go on a Crusade.

[elderemorune]

El Corazon

I wish I was writing about the show I saw tonight featuring Voltaire and Vision Video, but instead here we are.

Let's be clear here, no shade to the staff or anyone onsite, y'all were doing your jobs and I will never come after the boots on the ground. You were quick, professional, and frankly I'd never want more.

However, whoever is in charge of your ticket sales needs a talking to, as this show was massively oversold. There was no room for us to enter and see the show, it was that packed. There was no room to move, and it quickly became too hot and too claustrophobic to stand for more than a few minutes without needing to step out for air.

My wife and roommate (husband, let's be real) both had to leave within 20 minutes of our arrival, pretty much as soon as Vision Video took the stage, because of the heat and crowding.

Additionally, the venue is odd in that it's two clubs in the same building, separated by a large sliding door that was, for the duration of our presence, open, allowing the bands in that other club to bleed into the space and making it harder to hear than it already was due to the crowding.

Voltaire I know was a 10/10, but that's because I saw him in Denver back in 2022, just before the release of Black Labyrinth. Hell, I even got to sing in the Pandemonic Choir for Brains! which remains one of my favorite moments I've ever experienced.

As for the rest of the performers, I'm certain they were amazing, full 10/10 across the board for them.

This time, as for El Corazon, you're probably a decent venue when you're not oversold, but this time, I can't even really rate you fairly. Sorry friends.

[easyvirgin-deactivated20160413]

happy Thursday the 20th

[askjennaflorida]

I’d have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?

[mx-mythical-deactivated20260319]

next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th

August 2015

October 2016

April 2017

July 2017

September 2018

December 2018

June 2019

February 2020

August 2020

You know, just in case you wanted to set your queue for the next 6 years

[itsquietinsantafe2]

TODAY

[spotty-bee]

Heritage post

[maryellencarter]

Is anyone else mildly unsettled by the implication that this is going to be the last Thursday the 20th

[gallusrostromegalus]

Don’t worry, here’s the next 5 Years of Thursday the 20ths!

May 2021

January 2022 October 2022

April 2023 July 2023

June 2024

and THREE thurday the 20ths in 2025 with:

February 2025

March 2025

November 2025

[theoneandonlyredrobin]

This is the only Thursday the 20th? This year?

[krystal-prisms]

Happy Thursday the 20th

[elderemorune]

To the Otaku who prevented a stabbing,

Good job. Much like your inspiration, you are a ray of light.

For context, in Taiwan a man with a knife decided that he was going to attack people on the metro. As soon as he was noticed, people leapt into action, including one Hsu Jui-hsien. When asked why he jumped into such a dangerous situation, he replied "If Himmel was there, he would’ve done the same thing"

It's a good reminder, isn't it? That any of us can be a hero? Hell, it's all I've ever wanted to be. My wife even got me a sword, engraved with the title Hero of Heart.

I was raised on the mythology of anime and comic books, presented with characters who have such strong moral compasses that mine own cannot be swayed. Many of us grew up with characters like this.

Spider-Man, Himmel, it doesn't matter who your inspiration is. All that matters is that when the chips are down, you stand up like they did. You stand up, just because nobody else can.

Hsu Jui-hsien and the sixteen other passengers who helped in subduing the attacker serve as a reminder that we are not alone. That heroes are all around us, ready to leap when it's time.

Though we may never meet, we are all compatriots, we are all capable of protecting others. And with a reminder like that, it's hard to see just how dark things have become. Because when we have each other, no amount of darkness can stop us, not really.

All it takes is a single spark to light a fire. All it takes to keep it lit is to work together.

We can do it.

I know we can.

With love and hope,

Elder Emo Rune

[daily-spooky]

[kolapon-art]

Kiki's delivery service but it's Lumity 💜 (drew it based on that one kiki and tombo promo art)

[iheartvelma]

instagram: smacmccreanor

[elderemorune]

Beautiful IF.

This evening, my wife and I went to see a movie. This isn't anything unusual, we love the theater, and will take any excuse we can to go when she has time. Last we were able to get out just the two of us, it was to see Lisa Frankenstein, which I wholly recommend by the way. It was great, feminist as fuck, and frankly (see what I did) fun as hell.

But that's not why I'm here tonight.

Tonight, we're here for John Krasinski's IF.

IF is a movie that's part of a rare genre. The Family Film. You know, the kind that came out when millennials were children, like The Addams Family, or Hocus Pocus. A movie made for everyone to enjoy.

Now this is probably confirmation bias, since most of the fandoms I'm in are serious business, or at least they think they are, and such most of what I watch is grim, dark, or otherwise edgy. I won't deny being an edge marquis, I've been one since middle school and I'm not stopping now!

This movie, simply put, is beautiful. As we start to see more and more art about fighting (or subliminally supporting) fascism, it's like we shy away from beauty and instead want to focus wholly on how dark things are for us. And with a constant barrage of messaging like that, it's hard to stay hopeful, easy to stay mad.

Then we get a movie like IF. It takes a look at life through the most hopeful lens it can, a kid's. I don't want to get too into the story because my roommate reads this and I want them to see this as blindly as they can, but I'll tell you this: IF wants you to know that it's okay to be a kid.

But what does that mean? To be a kid? Is it to engage in wild flights of fancy where you imagine great, impossible things like an elephant made of cotton candy? Is it using play to cope with hard times? To be innocent? What is innocence anyway?

IF isn't trying to answer those questions at all. All IF cares about is that you know that it's okay to be a kid, no matter what.

For a super spoiler-free quick rundown, IF follows the adventures of Bea as she tries to help place imaginary friends (IFs) with new kids and find a new sense of purpose. Imagine (heh) Foster's Home for Imaginary (heh) Friends, but age Mac up a year and have her partner be a big furry purple guy (Hey! Like Eduardo!) named... Blue? Is this possibly an... GASP! AN EASTER EGG RIGHT THERE?! The big difference is that imaginary friends can't really be seen by anyone, except Bea and this other guy, Calvin. We'll talk about him later.

So let's talk about the rest of the movie, because there's not much more I can say without spoilers.

Just look at this man. He's distinct. You know EXACTLY what he's about, who he is, everything you need, just from looking at him.

And the same holds true of every other IF that you see (and don't) on screen. The team that worked on them did an immaculate job, perfectly capturing a child's imagination and how they see the world around them in these funny lil guys. Like how Blue is purple because his kid was colorblind, so he looked blue TO HIS KID, and how the robot IF was the kind of thing that a kid fond of taking things apart might imagine as their friend. Their personalities are all so clear, and when they're on screen they really steal the show.

Speaking of theft, let's talk the casting. Cailey Fleming plays Bea and gosh is her performance just the tops. Her first onscreen part was as young Rey in Star Wars: The Force Awakens (which I didn't watch because I just don't care much for Star Wars). This is the first place I've seen her work, and I one hundred percent believed she was actually John Krasinski's daughter.

Who, by the way, plays her dad. A lovable goofball who tries to find the fun in everything, he's sick (though we're never told with what) and is in New York for surgery. It's a big one, apparently, and there's a chance he won't wake up from the anesthesia, but he's determined to make it through. Really, what can I say about Krasinski's acting that fans of The Office haven't already said? This guy is the kind of dad I want to be when I eventually have kids.

Steve Carell voices Blue, the big purple IF on the poster. Sure, I guess if I had A critique of this movie, it's that it's another Steve Carell Funny Voice(TM) but fuck off, I had fun and it was clear he loved the project. I loved Blue, I thought he was funny and so sweet, and he was just so goddamned lovable that I genuinely had no notes.

Last, and he'd probably say least, Ryan Reynolds plays Calvin, a very handsome gentleman who can also see the IFs like Bea can. He started the effort to rehome IFs with new kids, but hasn't had much success at the time the movie starts. He's a bit of a curmudgeon, pessimistic that anything they do will work, and refers to his ability to see them as a curse, but he still does everything he can to help Bea place IFs in new homes. While still your typical wise-cracking Ryan Reynolds character, it was interesting to see him playing a character who's not about diving into things headfirst, instead giving us a more timid person who would really rather be asleep.

The cast all worked exceptionally well together. As I said, I came out of this movie truly believing that Fleming was Krasinski's daughter, and the chemistry between her and Reynolds was amazing. They really felt like friends, and I never once felt like their relationship was weird in any way. Carell and Fleming were also delightful together, with Blue serving as wonderful comedy relief.

Lastly, I guess is the score, right? I'm new to caring about this, so forgive me if I forget an important part.

Music was done by Michael Giacchino, who's score was frankly perfect. He captured the vibe perfectly, and I can honestly think of no higher praise for a film score. In particular, there was a scene that really hit me, and if the Adagio of Spartacus and Phrygia hadn't been the song used, I'm not sure I'd have cried near as hard.

So that's it. IF. A beautiful movie, a poignant message, and something that I think everyone could benefit from seeing.

Because what IF it's right? And it IS okay to be a kid?

That means anything is possible, doesn't it? What IF you COULD have a cotton candy elephant? Or a small army of Bionicle robots who are fiercely loyal to you as you lead them across Mata Nui to expunge the darkness? (Don't tell me you didn't do this. If you had Bionicle, you did this.)

What IF?

[elderemorune]

Been a second, been busy I think.

What's up Tumblr? It's been awhile since I've updated my blog. I don't think I've posted since I experienced what may have been gender euphoria, though the jury's still out on that.

Anyway, so much has happened. I quit my job with my dad, and I started livestreaming again. (twitch.tv/runephantom, I'll shave my beard off when I hit 100 followers). We've been playing FF14 on a new character, Ruhn Elviane. I paid to skip ARR, because I love the story but gods is it a slog. Thinking about doing post ARR just made me dread continuing, so fuck it, we skip and I just grind to level 50. Not like I wasn't already 10 levels ahead of the story, so it won't take long!

Anyway, there's been a lot of emotional labor on my part. Adjusting to having time to do the creative things I want to do is interesting. I started designing an outfit for a heroic version of myself, because why not?

My roommate and I finished Deep Space Nine. I'm honestly so sad for the Sisko family. Imagine being Fated from birth, sacrificing yourself to save a God from the Devil, and missing out on everything and nothing at the same time? And Dax, holy shit. Jadzia did NOT get enough time with Worf. Kira didn't get enough time with Odo, either. I wanted to see them get their happily ever afters, you know? Like O'Brien going and starting an engineering revolution when he goes back to Earth to teach at Starfleet Academy. Julian loses his best friend, Kira loses her love, Quark loses his rival, and they all lost their Emissary.

But Deep Space Nine is like Jazz. Jazz doesn't have happy endings. That's the thing with noir, it's melancholic. There are bright moments, but those are mere rays of sunshine amidst the horrors of war.

I mean shit, Aaron Bushnell immolated himself as a statement against the horrors of war, and what we're doing to the Palestinian people by supporting Israel. Deep Space Nine, in 1997, had Vedek Yassim hang herself with this final statement - "Evil must be opposed."

The image of her hanging, especially against the context of Aaron Bushnell, had me bawling. How is it that an episode written nearly 30 years ago still carries so much weight behind it?

10/10 show, will 1000000000000% watch it again.

In other news, I made friends with my neighbor across the way. We smoke and shoot the shit sometimes now.

I think that's about it for now.

[elderemorune]

Is this euphoria?

Holy fucking shit.

Holy fucking shit.

How does it feel like everything's changed?

Okay, so collecting myself a little (or a lot), I've been through a huge amount of change in the last week or so. I came out as nonbinary, and I quit my job.

So not only have I cast aside my gender, but I've escaped the stress of my daily relationship with my father.

Don't get me wrong, I love the man, but we wouldn't be friends in another life.

Anyway, I've been trying more femme clothes lately and right now I'm standing in the kitchen, wearing a fishnet top a crop top and my wife's crop hoodie and I feel weird! Very happy, but also super anxious for some reason.

Is that how this normally works?

[charliejaneanders]

I made a meme, I'm so sorry

[elderemorune]

Guess who's nonbinary!

It's me.

I'm the enby.

All of my fucking friends were some form of "Called it!" or "Knew it!" and that was a trip.

My wife was pretty chill with it though, so that's cool.

[yr-tiktok-mom]

[elderemorune]

PLUR BAYBEEE

So it should come as no surprise that I love ridiculous things. Star Trek, dogs, my cat, people in general, EDM.

Speaking of EDM, for those unfamiliar, PLUR stands for Peace, Unity, Love, and Respect. The defining traits of the Rave scene, or at least it was explained to me this way. Until Friday, I'd never seen an EDM show live, much less been to a rave (and no I'm not counting those dances back in middle school where the DJ would play the censored version of American Idiot for a bunch of small, Ritalin loaded assholes). For my first, whew, I picked a hell of a show.

Let's start at the beginning. A few weeks ago, I found this artist, Hyper Potions. I'd never heard of him before, and I'll admit, my first look into him was... Less than appealing. There was some controversy with one of the two founders, but my initial doubts were quickly disabused, as one of the duo very firmly told the controversial member to fuck off, no ifs, ands or butts.

This in mind, I looked to see if he was on tour, and to my shock, heck to my awe, it just so happened that he was doing a show at The Crocodile in Seattle on the 5th.

Just in time for my birthday! (It's around the time I posted this, I'll leave you guessing the exact date, because that's funnier to me.)

The tickets were reasonable, so I grabbed my wife and @thisbirdhasceasedtobe, we got dressed, and away we went! There was a dinner plan, but the place I wanted to go to was too full so we bounced and hit the venue.

The opening act was this guy I'd never heard of before, Knob Ross. If I'm totally honest, I liked his vibe, but this man was not really good at playing the crowd. I imagine it's hard to be the opening act at a show like this, since you're who's playing while people filter in. The way the stage was set up also had me misreading his name as Knob Boss all evening too, which isn't a knock against him, but more of a statement. Hell, because of that I didn't get the joke with his name.

Normally this is where I'd share one of his songs, but he's proving difficult to track down. If someone has any of his work, I'd be happy to put an example here!

Anticipation started mounting when Hyper took the stage though. Between his crowd work and his cool visuals, the house was jumping within minutes of his appearance. The energy he brought was so bright and so happy I couldn't help but smile myself.

Hey look at that, he actually did music for a Sonic game! That explains why his visuals were all really cool voxel animations of various Sonic characters!

Funny enough though, despite having gone to the show for Hyper Potions, I'd like to introduce you to the headliner.

Have you ever wanted to see a man in a Sasquatch costume play the saxophone over the Jellyfish House Party from Spongebob?

Saxsquatch🎷 on Instagram: "Had to hit em with the Spongebob"

3,951 likes, 17 comments - saxsquatchOctober 30, 2022 on : "Had to hit em with the Spongebob"

Now you have!

Allow me to introduce Saxsquatch!

I wasn't looking for this man. Hell, I didn't even look at the other people playing this show, I was satisfied going to see Hyper Potions. I kept my expectations low for the others, but gods alive, was I blown away.

First off, three saxophones. One alto (which I personally play), and two tenors. One of them is peculiar though. A clear plastic affair with LEDs inside, it's easily the coolest form I've seen the instrument take, and real talk? This glowing beacon of cool made his cover of Never Gonna Give You Up even better after he joined the crowd.

Please forgive the shakiness, I was absolutely blitzed on Fernet and beer at this point, and I was swaying with the crowd as well.

Shitty cinematography aside, just look at this guy! He's having fun, we're having fun, I've never seen anything quite like it!

Obviously his crowd work is good, but what about his music? Personally I love it, even his cover of September, though my buddy vehemently disagrees with me. They said that his cover lacks soul, but I dunno, I felt a lot of soul in that crowd as we jumped to it!

I couldn't tell you a damn thing about his visuals though. Were they good? No clue! I was busy staring at him! I didn't even notice when the lasers came on because I was too busy watching a man fulfill a childhood dream of mine: being an EDM artist who plays saxophone. Yeah it was all covers, but he was there, and again, LOOK AT HIM!

Lastly, I think we should talk about the venue. It's attached to Madame Lou's, where I went to see Bear Ghost and Damn the Weather. Unlike ML's, The Crocodile is a much larger performance space, with some of the trappings of that. I wish there had been more ADL seating, as my wife is disabled and short, so finding a comfortable place for her to enjoy the show was a bit troublesome. Still, like a champion, she sat in the uncomfortable, tall stool just so that I could jump around like a fool.

The drinks? Well, they did what all venues do. Smaller drinks at about $15 each. We had five drinks between us this evening, though it's six if you count the signature drink, The Bite Back, as two. It's a beer and a shot of Fernet, which I really like. You down the shot, then chug the beer, and wait for it to bite. We also had a G&T, a Fuzzy Navel, and a Whiskey Sour, and their signature lager. I had the sour and the beer, in addition to the Bite Back. Sure, we spent a bit much on alcohol, but it was my birthday party dammit, and I was going to get drunk.

After the show, we stumbled back to the car, and had our friend (who was sober) drive us home. We stopped for some good old fashioned 1:00 AM Jack in the Box, where the poor asshole behind the window was being harassed over the phone by some fucking jerk. Would it really be a Jack in the Box if shit wasn't fucked?

Okay, I've gotten off track. The show was incredible, and I'd 100000000% go see Saxsquatch and Hyper Potions again. Knob Ross, all the love to you my man, no shade, but uh, I don't think I'll be going out of my way to find you again.

Show was a 10/10, I can't even begin to tell you how satisfying that sourdough jack was though.