An apple a day keeps the demons a bae

I'm kidding. Nothing will ever keep them as bae, only fam

[howlpendraig]

The assassin you sent after me is part of my found family now

[eye-co]

[frog-whisperer]

[toastbutteregg]

head and heart empty for a reason

[iwashilove]

[animalcrossingmemes]

[thcgummy-deactivated20211107]

[toastbutteregg]

[auujehjrgnmuuoingjoskjcnjsjshdo]

[angry-eevee]

when people defend the “Cis white guy is default” thing like “He’s meant to be an everyman we can all relate to and project on!” kindly remind them the largest ethnic group in the WORLD is Han Chinese and the highest gender percentage fluctuates so if you want an ACTUAL  “default” you want a 40 year old chinese person whose gender changes from year to year.  

[galren]

#give us the middle-aged gender fluid Chinese protagonist that we can all relate to and project on (via @mr-and-mr-pavus)

[official-kircheis]

guy who after 30 minutes of a 45 minute talk is on slide 19/66

[transhumanoid-deactivated202106]

pretty shitty guy in objective terms but I can’t help but find them endearing in a way

[official-kircheis]

one time I was at a talk where after ~40 minutes of the allotted 30 minutes, the chair had to step in and remind the speaker

his response “oh. I’m sorry. I’ll get through the second half faster”

[lexosaurus]

In high school for my French class we had to research an environmental topic and give a 10min presentation on it. I chose to research rare earth metals and I was super pumped, made a fucking sick power point.

Day it’s due I come to find out that in a class of 10 people, I was the only person who remembered to do a presentation. I think because my proff forgot to mention it that week, everyone else just like forgot.

My classmates panicked and instead of just telling the proff that only 1 person actually remembered it was due, they begged me to take up the entirety of class that day on my presentation. I was good friends with them, I was hype about my presentation anyways, so I was like “sure man let’s do this.”

So I got up there and for a half hour talked about every detail of the rare earth metal mining industry, how it’s used in modern technology, and the environmental issues surrounding it. My teacher tried to cut me off a few times, but whenever she’d try a classmate would cut in and ask a question. A question that I’d be delighted to spent the next 5min meticulously explaining.

The class concluded with me sitting down a half hour later and my teacher going, “Well, we don’t have time for another presentation today, so we’ll pick it up next time…”

[salamencerobot]

You are a fucking hero.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

one time i was in a pub in london and saw lemonade on the menu and i was like mmmm lemonade!!! but i’ve been to australia and been tricked before so i was like hey is this actual lemonade lemonade or is it just sprite and she was like it’s actual lemonade so i ordered some and she brought it back and it was sprite. i hate england

[dingdongyouarewrong]

[aprilslady]

They just meant it didn’t have lime in it

[dingdongyouarewrong]

sprite has lime in it wym

[thoughtsofadame]

honestly only americans who have been to england or australia or new zealand understand the frustration.  Also you literally can’t even explain to them what real lemonade is. they simply don’t get it

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i’m actually not american i just have functioning taste buds. but GOD HONESTLY like “sprite is a type of lemonade because it has lemon flavouring in it!” no. go to jail. lemonade does not have lime and corn syrup in it, and it’s not carbonated. that’s not a sweet refreshing summer beverage, it’s canned sadness. 

[pseudinymous]

These guys are honestly right. In Australia there is nothing that even closely resembles American “lemonade”. You’d have to make it yourself. I only vaguely know how to make it from American cartoons and it’s never sounded even slightly appetising. I guess it’s like Vegemite. You have to grow up with it.

[themunofprovidence]

If you’re insinuating that lemonade is like vegemite than you’re an idiot that has never tried lemonade. 

[truffledmadness]

GUYS. 

I don’t know about Australia, but I live in England, and there’s a CODE. There is a CODE you can use to make them understand you want ACTUAL LEMONADE and not SPRITE OR ITS COUSIN FROM ASDA.

You ready?

The code is: “Is it like Fentimans?”

Fentimans is literally the only UK-available company I know to produce actual lemonade. The Actual Lemonade is called Victorian Lemonade, and it’s delicious, and they make an also-delicious Rose and Lemon variation. And most UK pub landlords and such will at least be aware of Fentimans (they provide a lot of mixers to pubs, and ginger beer), so when you ask if the lemonade is “like Fentimans”, they’ll know what you mean.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

god bless you

[shortace]

Is nobody capable of saying “Is it lemon juice and sugar, or is it carbonation and sugar?”

[dharmagun]

“Is it fizzy lemonade or is it still lemonade?” 

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[cypric-rat-hyperfixation]

[femmegimli]

the fact that pippin can pass as a human child is so funny to me. imagine you’re in a battle and you just see this fucking toddler running around with a knife. you’re a big scary troll and you’re like “im not gonna fight this tiny baby, where are his parents?” and then the baby kills you and fortnite dances on your body

[ruinedchildhood]

[glumshoe]

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

[glumshoe]

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

[countesspetofi]

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

[glumshoe]

there are only two genders: frog and pig

[forestdwellingrat]

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

[glumshoe]

oh god

[sailor-lady]

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

[glumshoe]

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

[wumblr]

crop circles

[thebootydiaries]

everybody: aliens

nobody: corn is sentient

[goslinggf]

THIS IS MAKING ME WHEEZE

[syro-malabar-baby-deactivated20]

WHAT JUST HAPPENED

[the-gotheltic-rowan]

it’s past midnight and im hysterically laughing and then thIS-