Terrible In Bed

Insomniac asexual

[shortace]

I am fully aware that nobody is asking me this in good faith. Everybody saying this has the intention of belittling me, dehumanising me, or pointing out to their friends how ridiculous they think I am.

But. In case anybody comes here with genuine curiosity and respect. I may as well answer.

"How can I be non-binary, asexual, and also a mother, and have been married?"

For starters, I'm in my 40s. Identities like non-binary and asexual weren't commonly talked about in my younger, developmental years. I simply did not know that they existed. I didn't know that they were things I could be. I never felt right, I never quite understood a lot of things, but I went along with it because... you just do, don't you? When you don't know there's an alternative. And you know what, I was genuinely in love with my husband. I reckon I'm demiromantic - so maybe romance isn't super important to me, maybe I'm not going to fall in love a lot of times, or very easily, but I did, at least once. And whilst I don't experience sexual attraction, whilst I'm definitely completely asexual, there are lots of reasons to have sex. Love is one of them. Wanting intimacy, bonding, to please your partner. And neither asexuality nor demiromanticism excludes someone from wanting kids, and from loving their kids. Continuing to use the identifier "mother" after figuring out my non-binary identity is mostly laziness and apathy: it works, I don't care enough to make my kids call me anything else. "Mum" is fine. It's a social and emotional role more than it has anything to do with my gender.

If you have any questions, and feel able to approach me with respect and are open to learning, I'm happy to engage with you. I don't want anybody to remain ignorant and confused for as long as I did.

[thebibliosphere]

Why must I be awake.

[thebibliosphere]

#another victim of the woke agenda

@natalieironside what's it like being one of the funniest mother fuckers on the planet?

[natalieironside]

I wish it paid more

[shortace]

Today, depression and insomnia and my period have collided heavily together. It is a Bad Day.

[marzipanandminutiae]

"man, museum work pays peanuts, has an incredibly low supply of full-time jobs for current demand, sometimes involves getting yelled at by the public, causes Imposter Syndrome, and is often undervalued by people who assume it's easy"

"but is it unsp-"

"unspeakably cool? YES"

[wiisagi-maiingan]

hi trans indigenous people I love you

[wiisagi-maiingan]

hi indigenous people who don't identify with the label trans because you exist outside of the Western gender binary I love you

[linguistwho]

Gallifreyan of the Day - Day 2401: Pride

[heedra]

In elementary school, my best friend and I had this game we would play where we were school supplies living inside a child's desk and going on slice-of-life adventures inside it. And I remember that a key component of our school supply society was a sort of religious schism that existed around the purpose and nature of the giant hand that occasionally reached in to grab different citizens, use them, and then return them, because most school supplies considered this an auspicious and enviable moment of being selected for a greater purpose and allowed a glimpse of a vast truth, but pencils considered it a horrible portent of doom because they always got sharpened during it and came back smaller and closer to death. We were third graders btw.

[shortace]

So sick of hearing things like "They were limping until they thought I wasn't watching, they were able to walk perfectly well later. Fake disability."

That is exactly how my herniated disc and sciatic nerve pain often present. Whilst I am almost never completely free of pain, a lot of the time I walk without any visible sign, without limping or wincing. But then a sudden sharp pain occurs, which might last for seconds or minutes or even hours. It might effect just my lower back, or it might shoot down my right leg and make my knee collapse. The fact that I only swear and wince and limp for a few seconds doesn't lessen my pain or the inconvenience, and doesn't make me a faker. If anything, I'm faking feeling fine most of the time.

[shortace]

Woke up this morning warm and toasty in bed. Checked the weather forecast: cold, rainy, damaging winds. Weighed up my priorities, called in sick, stayed in bed toasty warm.

[animentality]

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[baraphalloplastyclinic]

I actually do think we should discourage women from becoming housewives. Do not become financially dependent on a man. That's how a lot of women ended up dead over the years. A man gets violent suddenly and you have to choose between homelessness or potentially dying at his hand because you have an enormous gap in your resume and no degrees or certifications or anything that will help you pursue a career that will allow you to be financially independent. He owns your bank account. His name is probably the one on the car. Try and leave and he can report it stolen. Where will you go then?

Don't become a housewife.

[ladyfoxfire]

And if you do become a housewife, take steps to protect yourself. Make sure you’re legally married, for starters; stay-at-home girlfriends have very little legal recourse to claim their partner’s assets in a breakup. Make sure your name is on the house deed/rental agreement, and have your car in your name, even if your spouse is paying for it. Have your spouse transfer money every month into an account solely in your name, so you can buy yourself things without needing permission, but also so you can save up to leave if needed.

If your spouse fights you on any of this, then don’t quit your job. The tradwife to poverty pipeline is real, and so is financial abuse.

[dressedupliketheking]

also, many women/people experience controlling behaviour and domestic violence from their partner for the first time during pregnancy. don’t risk thinking “he’s just stressed, it’ll get better when the baby comes” because it won’t. neither you and your child will ever be safe with that man. get out as early and safely as you can

[shortace]

My parents had a pretty healthy and happy marriage (I say "had" because my mother died, not because they divorced), and I'm sure that my mother told me many things, but for some reason the one piece of advice from her that has always stuck in my memory is "Always have your OWN bank account with money that is exclusively yours." It's good advice.

[shortace]

Just got my 50th subscriber on YouTube, and I think that's a bit exciting 🙂

[shinesurge]

Guys if you want queer shit written by queers on our own terms you're going to have to start seeking out weird independent media. I'm sorry that's the only place you can regularly find it idk what to tell you, we can't keep acting like there's nothing if we're not getting blockbusters and triple A titles or whatever it is we're waiting around for. The thing you keep saying you want is already being offered for free by one person making a passion project on the internet and you would both benefit enormously if you interacted with it instead of lamenting that the only options we have for representation are pandering afterthoughts from corporate shit

[fandomsandfeminism]

I say this with so, so much care: Real queer shit written by real queers can and will sometimes make you uncomfortable. That's one of the defining features of weird, independent queer media. And weird independent media more broadly. Art that comes from true individual passion and authenticity has edges and bite to it that mass market corporate products intentionally do not. Has a rawness that can offend.

You are allowed to feel uncomfortable about it. But don't ask for queers to self censor for your comfort.

[peachblossom-odyssey]

[byjove]

“Ebola poses 0 risk to the west, I am tired of people fear mongering about it” that is so fucking stupid I cannot reply to that in a way that is respectful and kind. it is a highly deadly infectious disease that causes you to hemorrhage internally and die painfully. it does not matter if it is killing people in the DRC or in America, it is an incredibly scary virus and a terrible way to die. you SHOULD be worried about it. there are thousands of people displaced by war without access to healthcare and sanitation and there is a virus with a 30-50% fatality rate spreading in the region. I’m not saying get in your bunker but again, I think giving a fuck about the Ebola epidemic even if it is occurring on a different continent is basic concern for humanity

[shortace]

This term there have been a rotating selection of "motivational" posters on the back of the toilet doors at work. Last week one said,

"Work hard in silence. Let your success be the noise."

Work hard in silence?! Does that not sound dystopian to anyone else? 😛