bongwizard was taken already

[eldritchbong]

she accidentally bruised my cervix last night 🤩🥰🤤

[eldritchbong]

she did it again and now we’re watching the minecraft hamilton musical 😍😍😍

[eldritchbong]

she accidentally bruised my cervix last night 🤩🥰🤤

[eldritchbong]

found these three magnificent strawberries today. please enjoy

[eldritchbong]

went to eat some buldak noodles so i have something on my belly before the adderall spell manifests an effect. a tick summoned itself upon the cup rim and into the carbohydrate sea. i had to dispose of the dish in full. seething

[eldritchbong]

i really dislike when i have to go work at the job i applied for during the days and times i’ve requested

[eldritchbong]

it’s even worse when i am then obligated to complete the tasks for which i am being paid

[eldritchbong]

i really dislike when i have to go work at the job i applied for during the days and times i’ve requested

[eldritchbong]

the popcorn minion at my work is so snatched i’m sick

[eldritchbong]

while i’m on the subject, here’s an epcot pro-tip for all my witches, warlocks, and wizards out there:

take an edible (strength of choice) in the connections eatery bathroom right before you get in line for cosmic rewind. if you wear a bra, this is a fantastic hiding place. the average wait is around 60-75 minutes, though this typically does not include the pre-show and post-show wait (preshow itself is around 10-15 minutes, post-show is 10-20 minutes depending on the day and time. you will start to feel something right before or exactly during the pre-show. i’d recommend waiting away from the crowd and over to the far left, because people will push and shove in a stampede to get on the ride faster. just remember you’re all going to the same place and enjoy the special effects in the teleportation room).

when you get on the ride you will feel the full effect and it is magnificent. many people request row 9 specifically, and if that’s your prerogative i would highly recommend it, but really anything in the back half of the train is great and you’ll get the smoothest ride with the most G forces. happy riding! eldritchbong OUT

[eldritchbong]

when people ask me if i want to go back to my previous job (disney) i say yes, which is true, but in reality i mostly just miss riding journey into imagination immediately after taking 3 massive hits of my wizard cart in the bathroom

[eldritchbong]

i’m sorry you expect me to ride journey into imagination sober? while figment himself is sitting there so high he can taste sound and hear colors? that’s simply not fair

[eldritchbong]

when people ask me if i want to go back to my previous job (disney) i say yes, which is true, but in reality i mostly just miss riding journey into imagination immediately after taking 3 massive hits of my wizard cart in the bathroom

[eldritchbong]

i wish to brew my mead and drink it from a large flagon as was once done in taverns of old

[eldritchbong]

got a job working for the big mouse and the gender categorization on workday is genuinely hilarious

breaking news! only americans are non-binary. sorry canada

[eldritchbong]

my therapist told me to stop smoking weed so i did and things got worse??? what’s up with that

[eldritchbong]

i smoked again for the first time in a while and it’s still bad i’m just high, which is fun. i may never be happy

[eldritchbong]

my therapist told me to stop smoking weed so i did and things got worse??? what’s up with that

[eldritchbong]

i frew up :(

[eldritchbong]

one must imagine sisyphus in the shower on his period

[eldritchbong]

the love of my life has found the love of their life and it is not me. surely i have been cursed by my enemies