She stares, eyes never wavering as she meets mine. If anything the more I look the more she seems to strive to appear confident, unphased by my aura. Having rearranged our seating the night before, she sat beside me now.
“You didn’t have to move everyone around for your sick fancy” she mumbles, tearing her eyes from mine to rest them on her dinner, the dinner I had prepared.
“I hope everyone is enjoying the meal, I took quite a bit of time to prepare it” smiles, polite, pleasant smiles that mean nothing, that's all I get from her. My eyes flash with annoyance at the others chorus their thanks, their adoration of my food as all she does is nibble and deny she is hungry. Tension grows thick, even the ever oblivious Charlie takes note of Salem's refusal to acknowledge my sacrifice.
“Ah toots?” Angel's interruption only furthers my annoyance, can he not see that I am trying to get you to see me? She grins at him and I can feel my anger bubbling. How dare she?
“Yes Angel? I just ate a big lunch not too long ago that’s all” she reassures him without waiting for an answer as his eyes dart back and forth between me and her, warning her, or trying to. Yet she stays purposefully obtuse, refusing to even meet my eyes again. I crave to dig my claws into the back of her skull and force her to look, to stare me in my eyes again and thank me for the effort I keep putting in. The work I do for this hotel, for her!
“Alastor?” A chorus of voices say my name in fear, realizing that I’ve lost a bit of control. My shadow has smashed Salem's plate upon the floor, and her eyes never straying from the now empty table seem to only further anger him. Her tongue presses to her cheek, pushing it out as she sighs.
“This is why I don’t want to fucking talk to you” she shoves away from the table and stomps off, my heart faltering, banging at my chest to follow her. I scold my shadow, forcing it to behave once more as it throws its hands in exasperation.
“Apologies, it seems my shadow has developed a bad habit” I attempt to soothe the others before me but they just look between each other, Vaggie even looks mildly triumphant at my outburst. No one spoke, afraid to invoke my rage I am sure. I had done nothing but prove what Salem seemed to believe, what Vaggie believed, Hell maybe what they all believed. Even Charlie deep down must see me as a monster too involved with myself.
“Alastor…you’ve never” Charlie pauses, as if thinking her words over, something I did not see our princess do often “your shadow has never had an issue like that before. Is something wrong?” Vaggie tries to silence her, whispering about how it isn’t their business and to let me dig my own, second grave.
“No dear, just have a lot with the hotel. I am sure you understand that?” She nodded but didn’t seem convinced and looked as if she wanted to press. A hand on her shoulder from Vaggie and a tap from Husk had her falling silent, casting her eyes away from me.
Clenching my jaw I stand, tapping my cane in a silent goodbye as I walk out. My mind is clustered with her; her scent, her movements, her ever watching eyes, and her words ‘this is why I don’t want to fucking talk to you’. It had stung, deeper than it should have, it shouldn’t have touched me at all. Salem isn’t the first to not want to talk to me.
I press my back against the wall outside my room, not wanting to be in the woods or around the dying flowers or unmade bed that I had discarded when I couldn’t settle the night before. Perhaps my radio tower would be a better space for me right now, untouched by these frivolous feelings.
Making my way to the tower I keep pushing my thoughts away, refusing to even give them a smidge of attention. How ridiculous they were, insisting my heart grows warm for her. No, no I simply need her for the growth, for my own freedom. Her rejections meant my inability to win even a simple doe over, was I losing my touch? Was being at this forsaken hotel toying with my powers?
The door of the radio tower falls shut behind me, slamming against its frame with a loud thwump. Everything is so perfect, pristine here that I settle quickly. The scent of the muddy waters fill the room, a soft breeze trickling in, it’s almost like I have my own person bayou beneath my feet without the actual mud.
Honeysuckle trickles in again, my hands curling into fists and slamming onto the audio board. Why is this following me? Taunting me? She isn’t even near me! She’s never been here! How can her scent overwhelm me so much in a space that is supposed to be mine?
Knobs get turned, the radio on the desk jolting to life. It’s an early broadcast, and likely a late one as well. Working through the jazz, the blues, and even tossing in some newer music the night ticks on. I have pages of notes scattered before me yet they say nothing of importance. I have failed to focus on my duties, neglected my promises, and wrote her name over and over. Like a mantra, a prayer, I even speak her name into the air of my radio station. Was I always this desperate?
The broadcast ended right before breakfast, a delightful squealing of a pig signing me off. I hadn’t planned to get dirty but Salem had stayed on my mind and I needed a release. The poor unfortunate soul walking beneath my safety proved a perfect target.
He had begged like I might change my mind even as I tore into his chest, ripping his beating heart from beneath cracking bones. Every intestine was twirled around my long claws and dropped into my mouth, every bone cracked and licked clean, his skin hung like a flag from my window as I devoured the rest of his insides. The perfect ending to a Hellish broadcast.
The looks of some of the residents once I came down the stairs suggested they may have been awoken by my delightful morning murder. Salem never even lifts their head, keeping their nose in a book, hand twisting a pen around as they try to ignore me. How long could they last?
Sitting in the chair beside them, crossing a leg over my knee and resting my cane on their chair, I too pulled forth a book to read. The occasional uncomfortable rustling coming from her, she may cover her feelings well but I know people, sinners, better than any can hide. Eventually I hear a sigh, my eyes flick to her as she shoves the book into her now vacant chair and leaves me sitting alone. Yet again she seems to think she can just walk away. Her hair bobs up and down as she holds her head high to leave me.
Lunch and dinner go the same way, she is forced to sit beside me every time, and every time she barely picks at her before walking off to shut herself away. What must I do to get her to follow me, pledge herself to me.
I corner Angel after dinner, desperation that I hate leaking into my words as I all but beg him for some way to get to Salem.
“Quit bein’ creepy” he said rolling his eyes “she ain’t some pet to collar- you know nothing about who you are chasin’ and you might not like findin’ out who she is” his arms crossed over his chest and belly area, nonchalance coats his posture and once again I wonder if I am losing my touch by staying here. He pushes past me before giving one last glance back “Salem is a wild animal Alastor, she might even top that scary aura you got goin’ on” then he’s around the corner of the hall and out of sight. What on earth did he mean? Salem was barely waist height on me, scary? Something to outdo even me? What a funny thought.
Roaming through the hotel I find myself once again at the observatory, watching her from behind glass. Taking in every side step and swirl, the notes that fall from her pretty lips, did she have to wear that? Her mid thigh skirt hikes up as she spins making my throat go dry. It’s quite unpleasant for a woman like her to be dressed in such a manner.
I once again find myself sliding through the shadows into the room she occupies, grabbing her hand and waist and spinning with her. The songs drift in and out as her eyes stay on mine, the want to flee evident but she doesn’t, she clings to me as we dance. Hours tick by and as the night turns to dawn I pull back with a great reluctance. Would she avoid me again tomorrow.
“Please…” I swallow hard “please stop avoiding me” she fidgets with her thin tank top and sighs.
“You’re such a menace, I despise you, hate you. Then you do this, you step in like a proper gentleman instead of the narcissistic twit you are and go making me think your any sort of good” she starts to pace, the sun glinting in her eyes, making them look almost golden, her beauty draws me in and I almost miss what she says next. “You cannot demand my attention, you cannot force me to do anything” static bounces around, fear glistening in her eyes but I simply leave.
Narcissistic twit, a name I had often called my father in my head was now being spat at me. Had I fallen so low? There’s nowhere for me to go; my room is a mess of nightmares, my radio station covered in her scent even after my kill, and if I sit anywhere in the hotel someone will find me, question me.
The shadows drag me down into the dark where I stay, for how long I’ve no idea. I couldn’t bring myself to come out and once I did no one seemed to care that I had been gone. Maybe only a few minutes had passed and that’s why no one knew?
“Alastor!” Charlie bounds up to me as I step into the kitchen, laughter trickles in from the dining room “will you be joining for dinner?” I was gone at least the full day then.
“Why of course darling, why would I not?” She gives me a puzzled glance.
“Well…it’s been a week since you have” a record scratch cuts through the air, silencing everyone. A week?
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