fuck you eat bread

hi im xander and if you need anything it's probably in my drag bag 27 year old bi trans guy he/him pronouns snapchat: sendcaffeine ig:sendcaffeineplz drag insta @plutovonstrapp icon by @coutureicons

[valtsv]

me about to tell the waiter i'd like some dubious consent with my order when i realise that they've already added it without asking me first

[garaks-padded-cell]

Apparently when i was a kid as soon as i could dictate what i wanted for christmas i asked for nothing but a 'glamorous chair' in my letters to santa over and over until my mum got tired of my relentless faggotry and staplegunned a purple feather boa to a stool for me

[tragediegh]

stay vigilant. there are still people out there who will try to convince you that eating fruit is somehow bad for your body

[victusinveritas]

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

@wooftphr

[mr-puff]

it continues

[mr-puff]

[animusbell]

having read some Martha Wells interviews it does really tickle me to imagine that when Murderbot asks for a ride, ART is basically doing that thing where you decide to entertain an obvious scam artist for a bit. Like, "Well, this is most likely a corporate spy, but I guess I am spying back on corporates right now so sure LOL let's see what the humans told it to do to trick me"

And then said 'corporate spy' spends 8 straight hours curled up on a chair watching TV and ART is like, "Oh shit you're like, a real person with no agenda. Let's hang out actually"

[traumatizedbyeggsandwich]

Every photo of Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan together looks like a a respectable mafia boss father named Giovanni and his weird son who bites sometimes

[overateddumbass]

Yeahhhh, you're right

[awful-little-goblin]

As a kid, I religiously played the Nancy Drew point and click adventure games. I'm also on the subreddit, which sometimes reminds me of the weirder aspects of the game series.

There's one game that takes place in Venice, and the singular way to consistently make money in the game is to dance at a nightclub in an apparently latex cat outfit. I'm not kidding at all.

The single thing keeping this game rated E is the fact that Nancy has the most awkward, sexless boogie on the planet. It's fucking fascinating. Imagine going to a nightclub in Venice and the entertainment is a singular fetish model on stage doing fortnite dances.

[otrebot]

She-Hulk

[punkitt-is-here]

Hey punkitt. Writing in again, and this time I have a weird but urgent request. If you don’t want to post this that’s totally ok I just am trying to get as many Puget Sound eyes on this as possible in the hopes someone is able to help.

Do you know anyone IRL who is able to foster cats? The Tacoma/Pierce County Humane Society just received (no joke) 60 cats from a boat anchored in commencement bay this week, and then another 20 from an abandoned car.

They are, predictably, in DESPERATE need of foster homes, because they don’t have room for them all. If you know anyone who can help, please ask them to reach out to the Tacoma & Pierce County Humane Society! Thank you so much.

PS: Also, fun fact, the Lushootseed name for the puget sound is whulge/whulj (x̌ʷəlč) (wanted to end on a high note here)

I'll put this out here! :> Anyone who wants to help?

[thefoxesraven]

Hey y'all and I DO live in the Tacoma area. The THS is AT CAPACITY and are entirely VOLUNTEER run. If there is ANY ONE who can help foster these babies it would help.

I unfortunately do not have the ability to foster any of these babies but urge anyone who can to foster them! This is the only way we can get our stray population down.

[opiates]

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

[tonysaintborgi]

Quiznos Coyote is a mood that you can feel. next time you feel it say "I feel Quiznos Coyote about this."

[tonysaintborgi]

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

you need to find out what you are a goblin for, it will give your life purpose

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

…now that I’ve turned you into a goblin

[enki2]

[squeakitties]

[necromosss]

As the person who got their R keyboard broken and the world mocked me for being forced to use the uwu language as replacement

My condolences

[commodore-64]

put that back

[the-davest-of-uncles]

National Lampoon, October 1985

[lifeattomsdiner]

First you procrastinate on the task because it is not a big enough deal to get done urgently. Then you procrastinate on the task because it has become such a big deal that doing it is overwhelming. You would think that this implies a middle point where it is just big enough of a deal to get done easily, however the inherent perversity of the universe's causal geometry prevents this

[rush-the-stars]

am always obsessed when someone says to a character “call off your dog” about another character.

[bxsementbunny]

i love bread and soup and pasta and cheese and pastries and jam and potatoes, i refuse to force myself not to partake in the delicious treasures the earth provides us!! i love being fat and happy!!