fuck you eat bread

@kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd

hi im xander and if you need anything it's probably in my drag bag 27 year old bi trans guy he/him pronouns snapchat: sendcaffeine ig:sendcaffeineplz drag insta @plutovonstrapp icon by @coutureicons

343K posts

being an adult is a weird combination of wanting to sleep all the time but also reacting to it being your bedtime a little like a toddler who doesn’t want to take a nap

fliesinthescreen

mom called me a fag yesterday by accident

fliesinthescreen

she was going to call me a bitch (playful) and i saw her gears turning like no but he's trans i need to call him the male equivalent. and then say fag and look so so surprised at the word that came out of her own mouth. it was like watching someone fail a disco elysium skill check irl

fliesinthescreen

AUTHORITY - One of your sons is being annoying to the other. Make it clear that you think this is unfair.

YOU - "Stop being a b--"

REACTION SPEED [Challenging: Success] - Wait a minute.

DRAMA - Sire, the word you're about to use is historically feminine! Applying it to your transgender child is tantamount to misgendering him.

1. [Suggestion - Legendary 14] Think of a masculine equivalent to "bitch."

me in a heist movie scenario: [right about to execute the big plan] i hope you guys kbow if this plan goes south i'm killing myself

driver: what

me: alright team. we kbow our roles. lets get to it

demolitions expert: wait can we go back to that thing earlier

grifter: yeah what was that about

me: charlie, i want you to take point. you're the most important for the early phase so you gotta make sure to nail this. remember we only have a limited time to pull this off, so the sooner the better

safecracker: youre not really gonna kill yourself if we fuck this up right

me: [putting on my badass sunglasses as smooth bossa nova music plays] i'm definitely going to kill myself if we get this wrong

bubbleteavangelist

lickingandsuckingchristmascoins

thing that pisses me off most about adhd advice from neurotypicals... the 'doing something for 30 days forms a habit.' bitch nothing in my life is a habit i would be ripping bong and jacking off all day if it was a matter of choice. never underestimate my ability to be super invested in something for like 2 weeks and then forget to do it one day and never go back to it

30 days to make a habit, one day where the vibes are just slightly off to break it.

daddy needs his skin picking time

importantcatpics

"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

GOUGAR CLAIMS COOL ROCK

God forbid women do anything

She had a good time, too

お？

Oh...?

おぉぉ？

Ohhhhhh!?

theswisscheeserag

You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like

theswisscheeserag

And then when the ant convention is in town they’ll be like dude… we should go to the ant convention. But they would never think to go if they didn’t know u loved ants

theswisscheeserag

And sometimes you need to ask them to go to the ant convention. But you Will not get anywhere hiding your passions

Deadly egg recall

The FDA has upgraded an egg recall issued last month to “Class I,” its highest risk level, as it warns the public that consuming the products could cause “serious adverse health consequences or death.”

The recall of 1,589,577 dozen white-shell eggs and brown cage-free shell eggs was initially issued by Midwest Poultry Services in late July, which warned they might be contaminated with Salmonella Enteritidis.

According to the company, the eggs were produced and distributed from farms in Texas between June 6 and July 3 and have sell-by or best-by dates between July 20 and August 17. The recalled egg cartons have either the code P-1950 or 0840962 and Julian Dates between 157-184.

source: X

prof-grace-aspen

Recalled eggs were shipped to foodservice and retail customers in Texas, Oklahoma, and Louisiana. Recalled eggs were available to consumers at Kroger stores in Texas and Louisiana; Brookshire Grocery stores in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana, and other smaller retail and foodservice outlets in these states plus Mississippi and New Mexico.

Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, and New Mexico are the currently affected states.

Help Disabled Trans Wives Fix Our Lives

Hi, as some of you know my wife and I are disabled trans women suffering through a lot of ever-changing illnesses. Recently I've become more sick, disabled and in pain than I've ever been before and it's been throwing our lives into chaos for months. We have to spend most money on medicine and when we tried to fix that they threw up more roadblocks. Between this, long term medical issues, me getting knocked off my psych meds and the fact that our cat needs a checkup soon we very badly need help. I know we're asking for a lot but please consider how hard we go to bat for others through sharing donation posts on @rickybabyboy and our personal blogs. Thank you for your consideration.

Edit: I am asking for medical help I have needed for months, I am in danger I need help immediately, please please help me. Don't let me die.

$60/$900 raised

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me about to tell the waiter i'd like some dubious consent with my order when i realise that they've already added it without asking me first

garaks-padded-cell

Apparently when i was a kid as soon as i could dictate what i wanted for christmas i asked for nothing but a 'glamorous chair' in my letters to santa over and over until my mum got tired of my relentless faggotry and staplegunned a purple feather boa to a stool for me

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