Elements of Madeiness

Art, work, education, life, or lack of it. Love holding the ragged threads together. I'm Madei, take a look in my mind.

[theartofanimation]

Xin Yingzong  -  http://www.rachelxin.com  -  https://twitter.com/Kiddo_hah  -  http://cargocollective.com/xinyingzong  -  https://www.instagram.com/rachel_xin_yz  -  https://www.facebook.com/people/Xin-Yingzong/100007870849049  -  https://www.linkedin.com/in/yingzongxin  -  http://rachelxinart.bigcartel.com

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Secretary

This happened a while ago so this is paraphrased a bit.

My group(Bard, Rogue and Paladin) recently made an adventurers guild out of an old abandoned house on the outskirts othe city. They decided to hold interviews as they would need a secretary to speak to guests who stop by when they are not around.

Three people show up.

Dm(me): “The first person to show up is a rather tall man in a business suit. He looks either very wealthy or as if he was some kind of butler. He also has some sort of bag on his head with two small eye holes.”

Dm: Ahem. “Good morrow, my ladies. My name is Jacques Bouregard, pleasure to meet you’re acquaintance.”

Rogue: “Uh, what’s with the bag?”

Paladin: “Rogue, don’t be rude! I’d also like to know though.”

Jacques: “Oh please do not worry! It’s just precaution. Anyway! I have a resume here to give you all!”

Rogue: “But what’s under it”

Jacques: “To keep it short, I have quite some knowledge on adventuring myself and how to be a great secretary. I’m fluent in 10 languages and I’ve mastered three different styles of martial arts.”

Paladin: “Holy shit. This is a done deal.”

Rogue: “But what’s under the bag?”

Bard: “Yeah why are you wearing that?”

Note: 30 minutes earlier the team was being threatened with notes that say to get out of town or face the consequences. They are suspicious at this point.

Jacques: “I-It’s just my face. No need to worry.”

Bard: *Standing up* “Take off the bag and you’re hired!”

Jacques: “I would heavily advise against-“

Bard OOC: Rolling persuasion.

Bard OOC: 26

Dm: “Jacques hesitates, before letting out a defeated sigh and slipping off the bag. Before you lies his actual face. Wisdom saves all around.”

Bard OOC: Fuck.

Needless to say, everyone except the Paladin failed. They took 3 damage and began to projectile vomit all over the place. Jacques began to weep, put his bag back on, and leave.

After some time of cleaning up, the second person entered the room to be interviewed.

A massive, eight foot tall half orc stumbled into the room with a big grin on his face. He sat on the tiny chair that just barely held his weight. The definition of an absolute fucking unit.

Paladin: “Welcome, and you are…?”

Dm: “Hello! My name CHUG and I’m HERE to do see-ker-tary stuff!”

Rogue OOC: oh sweet Jesus.

Chug: “Chug PERFECT for job for you!”

Paladin: “So what makes you think you’re cut out for this..?”

Chug: “CHUG GREAT at talking! I do it goodly.”

Rogue: “Okay, but can you do anything else?”

Chug takes 10 whole seconds to think.

Chug: “You should pick me because I’m very helpful and would do great job!”

Paladin: “Okay but how so? Like what can you do? Do you have experience?”

At this point th Bard is dying with laughter and is begging the others to pick Chug.

Chug: “Yes, Chug expert! He saves the environment by, uh, SCREAMING!”

Rogue: “what.”

Chug: “Chug can’t read or write! Ill-liberate! Chug don’t need to because chug can scream very loud! I tell you anything even if you far away!Chug save paper! Watch!”

Dm: Before anything can be done, Chug jumps up and runs out of the building.

Bard: “He’s perfect. In every way”

Paladin OOC: “Where did he go???”

Dm: “You don’t know. You look out the window and see him running into th distance excitedly.”

*IRL 20 Minutes later.*

Everyone has forgotten about Chug at this point as they interview an elf woman with an obnoxiously high and hardly understandable slurred voice named Gaba.

Paladin OOC: “I hate the fact that you doing this voice exists.”

Gaba: “OhOHOoo! ThaNK YoU foR thIS oPPorTuNIty! I NEed A JOb and thIS onE soUNDS PerFecT foR ME!”

DM: “As she gets up to leave, you hear an extremely loud noise, like someone is just gulping down massive amounts of air.”

Bard: “Oh no.”

Rogue: “What?”

Dm: “Dont bother rolling. The sound appears to be coming from miles and miles away, possibly from the other side of the city. You can hear it plain as day.”

The DM proceeds to get up and leave the table, walk to the other end of th house and scream at the top of his lungs: “YOU CAN HEAR CHUG NOOOOOOOOOW?!?!”

When Chug returned he got the job immediately. Everyone delights in hearing Chug’s screamed messages no matter where in the city they’re at.

[feycreature-art]

im officially re-opening my commissions! i dont want to clutter up this post, so my full info can be found here: teigk.tumblr.com/commissions

[feycreature-art]

heres some more recent examples of my art:

[the-homebrewists]

this isnt a homebrew thing, but i’ve had my commissions open for a while and thought id post that here ~mod nix

[elementsofmadeiness]

Really a genius way to explain pricing of commissions. May appropriate this awesome idea ♡

[thepigeongazette]

without spite my heart may actually stop

[maisiewilliams]

What you missed on 7x02 of Game of Thrones:

Keep reading

[thetrippytrip]

The bull whose testes get rubbed for luck? Symbolic?

[attackoftheskydancers]

…Ok but Fearless Girl is literally a marketing ploy and the Charging Bull was meant to symbolize American perseverance ABC excellence without regard for gender. Like. He has a point.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

I recommend this read to understand the full scope of the situation: 

‘Seriously, The Guy Has a Point’

[fromchaostocosmos]

No really read it because what is being said has nothing do with gender but rather about the fact that the bull was created by an guerrilla artist who put it there with out permission and it stayed because the people loved it and the girl who was created as marketing ploy by a trillion dollar company.

And it was commissioned to be presented on the first anniversary of State Street Global’s “Gender Diversity Index” fund, which has the following NASDAQ ticker symbol: SHE. And finally, along with Fearless Girl is a bronze plaque that reads:

Know the power of women in leadership. SHE makes a difference.

Note it’s not She makes a difference, it’s SHE makes a difference. It’s not referring to the girl; it’s referring to the NASDAQ symbol

Fearless Girl also changes the meaning of Charging Bull. Instead of being a symbol of “the strength and power of the American people” as Di Modica intended, it’s now seen as an aggressive threat to women and girls — a symbol of patriarchal oppression.

In effect, Fearless Girl has appropriated the strength and power of Charging Bull. Of course Di Modica is outraged by that. A global investment firm has used a global advertising firm to create a faux work of guerrilla art to subvert and change the meaning of his actual work of guerrilla art. That would piss off any artist.

[bananajeph-deactivated20180116]

“van gogh ate yellow paint because-” he was suicidal, karen

[henny-thing]

Actually he ate yellow paint because he was sad and he fell like the brightness of the yellow made him brighter and less sad.

[pinkuchama]

Nah, Van Gogh was suicidal and banned from his studio by doctors because it was suspected that he’d poison himself.

Direct quote in a letter to his brother: “It appears that I pick up filthy things and eat them, although my memories of these bad moments are vague.” Based on that statement I don’t think someone who is actively seeking treatment turns around and calls a poisonous paint “less sad” in the context of eating it. A better example of his actual relationship with art can be looked at in the fact that we got Starry Night from a time where he checked himself into a hospital for treatment, it’s known to be one of his more peaceful moments. The breakdown where he mutilated his ear was what led him to check into the hospital, and he made his more famous work there.

In the late 1800s it was known that paints were poisonous, and what bugs the shit out of me with those flippant statements about “feelings” that artists get characterized by is that people are fed this perception that by virtue of being a sensitive painter artists don’t have any practical or scientific knowledge. Which is bullshit because there isn’t a time period where a legitimate artist doesn’t have command over their tools and materials with more precision than laymans realize. Painting requires a high degree of technical knowledge. (That is a completely separate essay.) Any oil painter worth a damn even today would know that traditional cad yellow and chrome yellow were lead-based pigments, and in that, Van Gogh knew his shit about pigments when he could afford the nice stuff. After all, this is a time period where paint in tubes was a new thing; previously artists bought pigments and mulled their own paints. One’d have knowledge of both.

[vonzent-deactivated20221104]

Thank you Laura, you always take the words right out of my mouth. People should avoid making such odd statements about the artist that make them look niche, weird, etc.

Your doing a disservice to Van Gohg, but also to artists in general. In that artist dont understand the material they are using, and are just creative picture making people, and nothing else. Any genuine artist worth their salt, know their materials inside and out…simply because you want to bring out its fullest potential for your work. and in order to do this, you need to genuinely sit down with your art materials and understand its chemistry. In other words, artist aren’t just picture makers, but are also technicians of whatever medium they use.

last bit is any romantic/niche art statement like as stated below.

“Actually he ate yellow paint because he was sad and he fell like the brightness of the yellow made him brighter and less sad. “

is usually a red flag that should be research before eating it up as truth (no pun intended)

I only say this because when I took a art history and we went over Van Gogh painting of “Starry Night”. More then half the class were confident based on assumption and poor research that starry night was the following things  A war going on and that the colors are symbols of gun fire shots/color, the big black swirly shape thing is a castle and or a large black fire slowly consuming the buildings. None of these is true, its a cypress tree, why? ill let you folks research that because I wanna keep this rant small lol.

[mytamakomysookee]

And that’s how I want you to think of her! That was Carrie!

[tastefullyoffensive]

Turning roommate shaming into an art form. (via justincousson)

[bob-belcher]

Happy International Women’s Day!

[tastefullyoffensive]

Needs more yellow. (via schmauf)

[icecreamsandwichcomics]

YES I AM MAKING THAT FACE RIGHT NOW

Full Image - Twitter - Bonus

[theronlorthemar]

Chris Pine refuses to answer the question “Would you swipe left or right for Anna Kendrick on Tinder?” and instead gives this response

[madlori]

four for you, chris pine.

[euclasedeac]

alcoholic beverage breakdown

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

euclase:

I had a disturbing exchange with a high school-aged person today that prompted this…

Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages.

Mead is made from honey.

Cider is made from apples.

Beer is made from grains.

Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops.

They used to flavor beer with dandelions.

Ain’t that cute?

All beer is either ale or lager.

Ale is fermented at room temperature.

Lager is brewed and store cold.

Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales.

Pilsner and bock are lagers.

Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager.

Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout.

Butterbeer isn’t real.

(Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda)

Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash.

Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but shit, it would be awesome if it were.

Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes.

Red wine is made from red grapes.

White wine is made from green grapes.

The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape)

Unless you live in France.

In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape.

(for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay)

Champagne is any sparkling white wine.

However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France.

Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish.

Act like it tastes good. 

Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later.

You’ll be fine.

Brandy is distilled wine.

Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels.

Don’t fuck around with the French about their cognac.

Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol.

Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain.

Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal.

Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits.

Sweet vermouth has added sugar.

Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg.

Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol.

Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added.

Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables.

Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh.

Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols.

Vodka is grain alcohol and water.

Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous.

Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries.

Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise.

Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels.

Malt whisky is made from barley.

Grain whisky is made from all the other grains.

Scotch is whisky made in Scotland.

Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn.

Don’t fuck around with the Scottish.

Don’t fuck around with people from Kentucky, either.

Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant.

Rum is liquor made from sugarcane.

Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins).

American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup.

Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2.

Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something.

Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherfucker of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead.

Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke.

Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke.

Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said.

Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You fuckers.

If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit. 

Don’t leave a drunk friend alone.

Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1. 

If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers.

Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox.

Really, do you need to drink? 

You probably don’t.

But now you know some stuff. Maybe.

♥

[starkfish]

This is cool info! Except the wine one is making me itchy because some of it is wrong. 

-Yes, red wine is made with red grapes but white wine is not necessarily made with green grapes. Some varieties are but the main difference is that red wine is fermented with the skins on the grapes and white wine is fermented with the skins off. Pinot gris (which makes pinot gris and pinot grigio, both white wines) is a red grape, for example. 

-Champagne is not any sparkling white wine. People call any sparkling white wine that but Champagne specifically comes from Champagne, France. 

-Also pfffft ACT like it’s good, wine IS delicious. —The trick is to start with sweeter wines and then slowly move to drier ones. Soon you will go from asking for something that tastes like candy to asking, ‘seriously, what is the driest wine on this list, I want to feel like I swallowed a desert.’ 

[madelezabeth]

oh GOD here’s a huge dump of a bunch of post-wedding victuuri stuff. I don’t take credit for anything but the art. Based on these posts: link link link link (I can’t find the thing with the mugs but I know it’s been done. If someone finds it, please link me so I can give proper credit.)

Click to view!!

{My Twitter}

[batboyblog]

only Alfred would spend 3 months with a dangerous dog to prove a point to Bruce and only Bruce could totally miss the point 

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

BRUCE HE GOT YOU THE GIFT OF A DOGGO ;_;

[jerkfacepink]

Literally all of the Trump supporters I know of were POC. I’m talking family members and friends, in California. Mexicans and Asians. I do NOT know a single white person who voted for Trump. Like fuck if -I- voted for him, either. But we really need to stop with this divisiveness and finger pointing and need to step up as human beings and be examples of how to be instead of this “unfollow me now” bullshit and other similar outbursts. Own this the fuck up, America. People assumed that their opposition were a bunch of two dimensional villains instead of asking WHAT HAPPENED, by immediately judging others. You have created/become villains. This shit ISN’T WORKING. YOU ARE STILL DOING IT. FUCKING STOP. Whether or not you want to believe this, the reality is that the people who voted opposite of you are still complex human beings, and nothing will change for the better until you understand that and act accordingly.

The world is not black and white, but here comes Tumblr, screeching as if it were, 24-7.

PEOPLE ARE NOT THEIR CANDIDATES.

It’s important to endure the four years and create a culture that isn’t gonna spite people into protest voting and voting to spite dicks on the Internet. How the fuck do you think we got in this shit in the first place?? Things don’t begin and end with voting alone, it’s important to foster attitudes that create a desire for cooperation in people, which is THE OPPOSITE of what happened this election.

This election was close, incredibly close. It will be of service to you to look at how we managed to elect Obama AND Trump, without jumping to a conclusion (“The racist patriarchy!”) which is too convenient. Not if you really want this fixed.

WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. Don’t sit on your moral high horse thinking that you didn’t contribute by virtue of voting Hillary alone. YOU’RE STILL DOING IT. “Tell POC why you hate them,” NO. It is not that simple (see the beginning of this post.) “Third party voters can fuck off–” NO, fucking stop right there, everyone has the right to cone to their own conclusions, that’s what a fucking right to vote IS. The simplistic way in which people are prescribing intent based on cites is juvenile and WHY this will continue unchecked. Take a good hard look at your fucking self and examine how you treated someone who disagreed with you during this election cycle, because you can be sure as FUCK that this sort of treatment contributed to voter outcome, and if you continue this way, it will CONTINUE to be your fucking fault, too. Do you think people coming out in droves to vote is somehow not related to this?

So if you’re gonna be one of those people who say, “I’m disappointed in you America,” include the people who also voted for Hillary who thought it was a good idea to condescend and simplify the people they disagreed with into straw men this whole time. When you say that America fucked up, include yourself. This world is lacking love and understanding. That means bigots, but it also means you and me and every other average person. At some point, we have to look past the wrong that was done to us enough to see how we’re making others suffer. If you can’t do that, then this will just get worse in the future.

(And I’m sick of people putting so much faith in these fucking shitbag politicians. Year after year, even.)

[vonzent-deactivated20221104]

Thanks Laura, always being clear headed when things get really messy.

[elementsofmadeiness]

Thank you, yes. I'm very over the shit slinging and temper tantrums and it's only 6:43am. Not looking forward to the rest of the day. Didn't vote for Trump, but I'm prepared to get through the next 4 years and try my hand again. It's our own doing, time to lie in the bed and learn.