Dumb Stuff That I Think is Neat @elfcirynn - Tumblr Blog

too perverted for the normies not perverted enough for the real perverts how am i supposed to make it in this crazy world

robertreich

What do you think?

thatsbelievable

skittypilled

i love this tweet i love it so much

mysillycomics

how to have a sturgeon summer:

1. be quite large

2. use your barbels to find prey among the gravel along the bottom of the river

3. extend your siphon-like mouth to eat small fish, shellfish, and crustaceans

4. launch yourself out of the water and make a big splash just for fun

5. show off them scutes!

you can now enjoy your sturgeon summer

seat-safety-switch

Have any of your kids become machinists lately? The signs can be subtle, but they're there. Every day, thousands of children become obsessed with precisely fabricating intricate mechanical parts. Only some of them become productive members of society, like hot rod builders or railway clock engineers. Virtually all of them are lost to constructing scale-model steam engines. Concerned parents are watching for the following signs.

Police know that the first sign of affiliation into a new gang is a change in the subject's vocabulary. New words. Unfamiliar names. Did little Johnny never mention the words "locating datum" before he suddenly blurted it out by accident one night at dinner? It may be time to have a conversation with his teacher, to find out more about who he spends his time with at school. If you can get to it early enough, you can nip it in the bud.

In a similar vein, it's important to figure out where all their money is going. Kids who get hooked on the machinist lifestyle will often buy ridiculous things in order to "prove" their affiliation with the gang. One mother of two in Rhode Island came home to find a bunch of strange metallic cylinders on her doorstep, shipped overnight from FedEx to her youngest child. Round stock. She thought it was "just a phase." Her child is doing time in a federal penitentiary, after getting all fucked up on DYKEM markers and stabbing an engineer for submitting an insufficiently dimensioned drawing.

Last, an obsession with precision is often your last chance to have a talk with a wayward child. Are things in your house suddenly becoming rigidly aligned to an invisible grid system? Are you noticing things becoming burnished or otherwise polished, that weren't before? A trusted adult's timely intervention when your kid is micrometering a piece of sheet metal found in the alley may be all that is saving your kid from a lifetime of obsessing over thousandths.

With your vigilance and hard work, we can keep children from growing up to become machinists. Nobody's dream for their child should involve "estate sale full of hundreds of thousands of useless brackets."