hello.

i will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

[myfairgolightly]

[cithaerons]

for my final project i will be disappearing into the mountains

[drinklust]

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

[shacklefunk-deactivated20220623]

My grandpa got his first spam email and he called the police

[plasmalogical]

yeah i reckon they might be

[sunsapphic-deactivated20170425]

I’m……………the 1930s,

[dykedekuremade]

Explain

[sunsapphic-deactivated20170425]

[brown-nena]

How Amazon reviews go:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ “This is the best thing I’ve ever purchased in my entire life. Customer service rep was like family. Delivery time was 16 minutes, condition is perfect, and it has lasted me 20 years.”

⭐️ “Ordered a bed frame and got a pack of plastic knives instead. Customer service told me to fuck off. Delivery lasted 7 years. Caused a divorce. Lost my house. I am now going to jail.”

[spainstateofmind]

⭐️

“Product was correct, worked properly, seller included extra attachments for product, WAS NOT DELIVERED WITHIN 2 DAYS WOULD GIVE 0 STARS IF POSSIBLE”

[meangirlnurse]

my favorite American holiday is the one where we have a gopher predict the weather 

[meangirlnurse]

the gopher has spoken

[waltdisneydaily]

Figures, I’m tied to the one dog on Earth who doesn’t know how to beg.

[wordsnquotes]

The world changes too fast. You take your eyes off something that’s always been there, and the next minute it’s just a memory.

Michel Faber, The Book of Strange New Things (via wordsnquotes)

[panerasexual-deactivated2017100]

that girl you just called ugly? she’s dr. phil. that girl you just made fun of? dr. phil. that girl you just laughed at in the hallway? also dr. phil

[unpretty]

this is exactly what i would expect the author of this book to look like

[selinas-deactivated20251210]

Emma Watson as Belle - Beauty and the Beast trailer

[amusingprincess]

“Trump Won. Who’s fucked?”

[commander-cullen-deactivated201]

I’m laughing so hard

[gothicprep]

no offense but I’ve never gotten over anything that’s happened to me in my life

[sarasayad]

[birdsarecommunists]

Cute music terms to name your children:

Viola

Harmony

Melody

Cadence

Carol

Hymn

Celeste

Clef

Agitato

Oboe Player

F Sharp

♮

Barbaro

Plagal

Smorzando

ii♭ 6-4

Canon in inversion and augmentation