Have you ever lied in bed and thought "man, if only I hadn't..."
It doesn't matter much how you finished that question, but the mere sense of doubt that you feel can be so overwhelming at times.
I get that I've definitely chosen a path in life that has made a lot of things more difficult. Trust me, I have thought about that a lot. But, at the same time, if I had chosen different things, would I feel as though I've truly lived?
It's easy to get mad at ourselves for our "stupid" decisions and it's often difficult to forgive ourselves for those very same things. Yet, we ultimately become the person we are based upon all those experiences. We learn, we grow, we accept, we live.
I look at those around me who have never experienced many of the things I have. At times, I'll admit, I'm envious that haven't had to see, feel or know those things... but at the same time, I'm sorry that they haven't.
Life is tricky. It's true we should never judge another because each of us makes decisions based upon the knowledge and truth we hold inside ourselves at the time we make the choices we do. It's difficult to say what you'd do if presented with the same options.
In addition, each person is "wired" different... some of us are morning people, some night owls. You have introverts and extroverts... you have those that need everything clean and in it's place and those that are content with things lived in, so to speak.
I guess I find myself lying awake more often than not, wondering why the things I do are judged so terrible or even how or what am I going to do to find peace in my heart.
It makes me sad, though, that regardless of my age I'm still hitting the walls others are building around me.
It'd be nice if the first thing we were all taught was acceptance. To realize each person is unique and perhaps you view them as lazy, or a mess, or... I don't know, crazy... when in reality, they are just trying to survive, just like you.














